More late night pondering's.....

More late night pondering's..... (Full Version)

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AlwaysLisa -> More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 6:40:31 PM)
I'm probably going to find myself regretting this...but here goes. In the spirit of all things BDSM, I have been reading these forums for awhile now, and recently had a bit of a thought. Just a bit of one. Is it just me, or is it generally felt that those who list themselves "submissive", are the first to spring into action about someone else's post, correcting them as needed, often in an aggressive manner? Hear me out, please. I was told once that often, people will assume roles that are the total opposite of their personality. ie: Aggressive stock broker will play submissive in a scene, or a timid, somewhat quiet person will don thigh high boots and wield a whip in the most ferocious style! Is that why so often the submissive profiles will lash out at the words on screen, because it's their true nature to be assertive and forceful? Just some thoughts rattling around on another wet, dreary night. *"Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. (Tweedle Dum/Tweedle Dee, Alice in Wonderland.)*

littlewonder -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 6:43:17 PM)
subs respond first because very few Doms actually post on here. There's simply more females on here.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 6:44:36 PM)
And some of us females are doms, too!

slaveluci -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 6:57:41 PM)
And "submissive" to your own dom/master doesn't mean submissive or shy or afraid to speak your mind to/with anyone else in the world. One has zero to do with the other.......luci

OsideGirl -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 7:06:12 PM)
Just because I'm submissive to one doesn't mean I'm submissive to all.

AngelSighs -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 7:42:55 PM)
Maybe it has a bit to do with being a bit hormonal (please don't take off my head, I'm female), wanting to share, wanting to be helpful where we all can, and reaching out to someone new. Sometimes "tone" in e-mail is difficult to convey. Things have a way of starting off as something they might not be, especially if you've had a difficult day and are trying to de-stress. What I know is that we all see the world differently. It's based on our general outlook, life experiences, and what we believe. I don't always agree with those that post. But I will defend their right to post it to my last breath.....even those that make me want to hurl.

JeffBC -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 8:03:34 PM)
As others have noted, there is not necessarily a correlation between someone's chosen role inside a relationship and the demeanour they take with the rest of the world. I'm not too sure about ascribing "true natures" to people though. I'm sure we all have one. And I'm also sure that each one of them is a bit more complicated than can be simply described here... or anywhere else LOL.

IrishMist -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 8:12:53 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AlwaysLisa I'm probably going to find myself regretting this...but here goes. In the spirit of all things BDSM, I have been reading these forums for awhile now, and recently had a bit of a thought. Just a bit of one. Is it just me, or is it generally felt that those who list themselves "submissive", are the first to spring into action about someone else's post, correcting them as needed, often in an aggressive manner? Hear me out, please. I was told once that often, people will assume roles that are the total opposite of their personality. ie: Aggressive stock broker will play submissive in a scene, or a timid, somewhat quiet person will don thigh high boots and wield a whip in the most ferocious style! Is that why so often the submissive profiles will lash out at the words on screen, because it's their true nature to be assertive and forceful? Just some thoughts rattling around on another wet, dreary night. *"Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. (Tweedle Dum/Tweedle Dee, Alice in Wonderland.)* I think, that when a person finds a post on the boards that 'sparks and resonates' within them, that yes, they do become a bit more 'forceful' in their response than they might be otherwise. I do not, however, think that it has anything to do with their orientation.

poise -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 8:35:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IrishMist I think, that when a person finds a post on the boards that 'sparks and resonates' within them, that yes, they do become a bit more 'forceful' in their response than they might be otherwise. I do not, however, think that it has anything to do with their orientation. I agree with this, and recently experienced it first hand. I made a comment on a thread yesterday, and soon afterwards, I debated whether or not I should edit it, because it seemed harsh once I read it. I don't think I felt bad for what I wrote because I'm submissive, but because I try my best not to be harmful with my words. Unless only submissive people are concerned with how their words affect others?

MissImmortalPain -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 8:35:08 PM)
I think a lot of it has to do with it being a forum and some of it has to do with being female(most of them anyway) Not to be insulting or anything but many people think putting thier opinion on the net means they are right about whatever the topic was. I also think that many women still believe that their opinions will be ignored just because they are female and this leads them to want to shout that they are right. It happens a lot with younger people too. They feel they have to scream to get their voice heard. Most people out grow it, some never do. I don't think it has anything to do with if someone is submissive or dominant.

TheDarkSaint -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 8:45:38 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder subs respond first because very few Doms actually post on here. There's simply more females on here. A VERY good point. I've been here for quite awhile now and post very seldom unless I feel I have something to contribute. I don't believe in the opposite role theory you are proposing... YES. there is a certain amount of that out there. Curiosity, thrill seeking and a desire to do what you don't do every day will always be a portion of the people here. But don't forget that you're profile says that you are a submissive. Something that other subs might feel that they need to inform you what a true sub should be. Were I to post here more often. I have no doubt that I'd have numerous "Masters" eager to tell me I wasn't doing it right. There are those I have come to respect here . And all the others.. Only you and/or your Master should decide who are the people who's opinion should carry any weight.

Endivius -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 8:56:13 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: TheDarkSaint A VERY good point. I've been here for quite awhile now and post very seldom unless I feel I have something to contribute. I don't believe in the opposite role theory you are proposing... YES. there is a certain amount of that out there. Curiosity, thrill seeking and a desire to do what you don't do every day will always be a portion of the people here. Were I to post here more often. I have no doubt that I'd have numerous "Masters" eager to tell me I wasn't doing it right. Only you and/or your Master should decide who are the people who's opinion should carry any weight. This, unless I feel enticed to say something humorous.

TNDommeK -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 9:00:31 PM)
I think some people automatically feel that if the person is submissive, they act or must act that way over all. This, as stated above, just isn't how things are. They are submissive to a their dominant. And I have learned, especially here, that if there is something out of place or of that nature; people on this side, definitely speak up.

JanahX -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 9:24:14 PM)
Unfortunately CM has limited titles to pick from. I am not a submissive - but consider myself a bottom. - outside the bedroom, its business as usual. Submissive is the closest title to that I could choose from here. Also its fair to say that what you consider a nice perfectly wrapped up boxed personality of a submissive is only what you think that is. What it is to the next person, is most likely a whole 'nuther ball of yarn.

Aynne88 -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/21/2012 9:32:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: slaveluci And "submissive" to your own dom/master doesn't mean submissive or shy or afraid to speak your mind to/with anyone else in the world. One has zero to do with the other.......luci Exactly!! I am a dominant woman, I prefer a more dominant man to submit to, but I am not submissive at all to anyone, barely even to him sometimes.

Whenready -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 12:46:18 AM)
Tongue a little in cheek here....because these are gross oversimplifications: There are more women here - and women are "chattier". I have the feeling that more subs post more often than doms but there are a number of regular dom posters. Also, sometimes, I think of something to say, and on reading the thread, feel that either it's already been said, or that actually, nothing needds saying. Tongue further in cheek here - I suspect that while I might not then post, others might post anyway, and then add a bit.

LadyPact -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 2:03:44 AM)
Have no regrets, Lisa. I always enjoy your topics. No, it's not most led by submissives. Hell, I just told another D type to get her ass out of My face and would she like to continue slamming our dicks on the table to see who's is bigger.

Skyy -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 2:35:11 AM)
I'm way dominant in everyday life. I'm just weird in the bedroom.

VanessaChaland -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 3:34:15 AM)
Passive aggressive attitudes seem to always be in fashion. Then there are also the self appointed know-it-alls, who know little but make up for it in volume.

VideoAdminGamma -> RE: More late night pondering's..... (3/22/2012 5:28:56 AM)
For ALL of those that need a reminder, this is the topic. Thank you for being a part of CollarMe, VideoAdminGamma quote: ORIGINAL: AlwaysLisa I'm probably going to find myself regretting this...but here goes. In the spirit of all things BDSM, I have been reading these forums for awhile now, and recently had a bit of a thought. Just a bit of one. Is it just me, or is it generally felt that those who list themselves "submissive", are the first to spring into action about someone else's post, correcting them as needed, often in an aggressive manner? Hear me out, please. I was told once that often, people will assume roles that are the total opposite of their personality. ie: Aggressive stock broker will play submissive in a scene, or a timid, somewhat quiet person will don thigh high boots and wield a whip in the most ferocious style! Is that why so often the submissive profiles will lash out at the words on screen, because it's their true nature to be assertive and forceful? Just some thoughts rattling around on another wet, dreary night. *"Contrariwise, if it was so, it might be; and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it ain't. (Tweedle Dum/Tweedle Dee, Alice in Wonderland.)*

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