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What have you learned? - 3/21/2012 10:28:58 PM

simplyphilly

Posts: 17
Joined: 1/21/2012
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Out of all those you have encountered online and in person is there anything you have learned, possibly regreted, or even glad you didn't go there? Just curious.

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/21/2012 10:55:53 PM

peppermint

Posts: 5171
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
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The most important idea I have learned is to not depend on someone else to make me happy. That is MY responsibility.

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Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/21/2012 11:27:51 PM

MistressDarkArt

Posts: 5178
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No regrets. Everyone I've met from CM has been at least a friend, and several have become significant connections/partners. What I found so rewarding was these were local folks I probably would never have crossed paths with without the connection of CM or other websites. Heck, shortly after my past tenants moved I learned they were also kinksters who met on this site!

What have I learned? Not to spend more than an email or two before getting them on the phone. If that goes well, I vanilla meet them as soon as we can arrange it to see if there is in-person chemistry.

So far, so good!

quote:

ORIGINAL: peppermint

The most important idea I have learned is to not depend on someone else to make me happy. That is MY responsibility.

Amen, sister!

< Message edited by MistressDarkArt -- 3/21/2012 11:30:55 PM >

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 4:04:26 AM

Skyy

Posts: 23
Joined: 4/28/2007
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I learned that I generally don't like guys

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 4:17:26 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
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I've learned that the people on this side of things (collarchat) tend to be more honest about who they are than people in the chatrooms or on the other side.

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 7:10:52 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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I've learned so much that it wouldn't fit here and quite frankly 99% would be bored to read it all.

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Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 7:47:23 AM

kalikshama

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I have learned that as attractive as I find narcissists, it's better for my sanity to just not go there.

And to practice non-attachment.

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 7:50:43 AM

hellionsLight

Posts: 241
Joined: 10/18/2011
From: Kearney, NE
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It's okay to take chances, as long as you know the risks. That's what I have learned.

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Lights

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 8:28:23 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
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For me, this has been a real journey of exploration so of course there are lots of things I have learned... many of those from folks online. There's been nothing I've regretted and nothing in the "glad I didn't go there" category. Out of the entire journey, the thing I learned that is most valuable is that there are other ways to structure a relationship than the "society approved" model.

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 8:46:45 AM

Delilya

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I'm learning how to flog.

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 8:50:54 AM

IrishMist

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That I am always right.

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 9:24:04 AM

CRYPTICLXVI

Posts: 3907
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quote:

ORIGINAL: IrishMist

That I am always right.

That IrishMist is always right...

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 9:29:50 AM

JanahX

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The moral of the story is: People do the exact opposite of what they say they are going to do.

And that wisdom alone, will make you an Oracle of Knowledge.

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The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 10:06:41 AM

CRYPTICLXVI

Posts: 3907
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But seriously... I have learned to know my self. To be more aware than I had been. I have always questioned, searched, looked in the dark corners and never taken anything for granted. I have learned to know who I am, my strengths, my faults. I have learned that you cannot force anyone to be anything more than they are willing to be. That people lie, not outright but rather to their selves, that what they judge is usually what they fight with with in themselves. That people should not be trusted and yet, I prefer to trust until shown otherwise. That when I love, it is complete...and that those loved have more opportunity to hurt you. I have learned to balance, the need for being centered, grounded and not to allow myself to be taken by denial, my own, others.

I have learned that growth comes from experience, experience is painful...and that no matter how cynical I become, that there is still someone with the aspects, the personality, the self that will fit with me.

That communication is important, that it isn't easy... and that I have many elements which are part of myself that I am unwilling at this time to let go of... and that acceptance is important in a partnership.

And that no matter how much you try to hurt me... the only one's that can actually hurt me are those that I allow to.

Oh...and that IrishMist is always right.

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 10:46:43 AM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
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I have learned that this is the more exciting side of CM.

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Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 10:49:59 AM

IrishMist

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LOL

Ok..seriously...I have learned that I am not as weird as I always thought I was.

Oh

and that I am always right

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 11:19:32 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
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From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
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Other than learning you should never take sleeping pills and a laxative at the same time, I found that at our core, most people all desire exactly the same basic things. It's part of our human nature. The differences come when you don't both see the same things are at the core. Like holding up a coin between two people, one sees heads, the other sees tails... but in common, they both see a coin. So for me, interacting with a broad spectrum of people in public or on the internet like this forum, it's all about communicating your perspectives.

For me, I find the same is true with intimate relationships. I have taken partners to taboo places were they gladly broke their "hard limits" simply because I let them see it through my eyes and let them feel the passion from my perspective. I communicate the passion of it. If you pay attention, learn someone's perspectives and teach them yours, I find common ground comes easy.

Communication and mutual awareness can enhance almost any relationship. If his passion is red and hers is "blue", and she gives him "blue" because she thinks blue is the best... well, that's not gonna' make the fans of red very passionate. Whether you are trying to please a partner or communicate an idea to a group, you have to do it in their language and in a way they understand.

< Message edited by ResidentSadist -- 3/22/2012 11:21:35 AM >

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 11:21:56 AM

LaTigresse

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Joined: 1/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I've learned so much that it wouldn't fit here and quite frankly 99% would be bored to read it all.

This fits for me.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: What have you learned? - 3/22/2012 11:23:54 AM

CRYPTICLXVI

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