Difference between SM and D/s

Difference between SM and D/s (Full Version)

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eruditegirl1 -> Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 5:50:18 AM)
Is there a difference between SM and D/s....or are they completely two separate things...I was speaking to someone who told me they are one in the same.....from my reading and research ...I found them to be two different relationships....with similar underlying factors.... The discussion made me think...so I thought I'd post it and get some others thoughts on the issue....

CollaredProperty -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 6:01:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1 Is there a difference between SM and D/s....or are they completely two separate things...I was speaking to someone who told me they are one in the same.....from my reading and research ...I found them to be two different relationships....with similar underlying factors.... The discussion made me think...so I thought I'd post it and get some others thoughts on the issue.... yes D/s and M/s are different. Dominant/submissive "This is USUALLY{disclaimer, i said usually not always} a 24/7 playstyle but a not a lifestyle, it is a type of power exchange in how they react to each other in their relationship. Also subs are considered OWNED play partners. Master/slave This is USUALLY (disclaimer, i said usually not always) a 24/7 lifestyle not a playstyle. 24/7 M/s is "always on" they live their life as Master/slave every our of every day. Also slaves are considered OWNED property. someone once asked me what the difference was between a sub and a slave and i said this " to a sub her Dominant is a part of her world.....to a slave her Master is her world" now take this tongue n cheek these are simply my viewpoint, and we A/all know everyone will have a different opinion.

ScooterTrash -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 6:02:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1 Is there a difference between SM and D/s....or are they completely two separate things...I was speaking to someone who told me they are one in the same.....from my reading and research ...I found them to be two different relationships....with similar underlying factors.... The discussion made me think...so I thought I'd post it and get some others thoughts on the issue.... In my opinion, they are certainly two completely different things. Sadism and Masochism do not have to have anything to do with M/s or D/s or vice versa. M/s & D/s are primarily mental aspects while S & M are more physical, although there are certainly some mental undertones.

Level -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 6:09:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash quote: ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1 Is there a difference between SM and D/s....or are they completely two separate things...I was speaking to someone who told me they are one in the same.....from my reading and research ...I found them to be two different relationships....with similar underlying factors.... The discussion made me think...so I thought I'd post it and get some others thoughts on the issue.... In my opinion, they are certainly two completely different things. Sadism and Masochism do not have to have anything to do with M/s or D/s or vice versa. M/s & D/s are primarily mental aspects while S & M are more physical, although there are certainly some mental undertones. *Yeah, what he said grins.* Level

PhoenixLM -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 6:17:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CollaredProperty quote: ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1 Is there a difference between SM and D/s....or are they completely two separate things...I was speaking to someone who told me they are one in the same.....from my reading and research ...I found them to be two different relationships....with similar underlying factors.... The discussion made me think...so I thought I'd post it and get some others thoughts on the issue.... yes D/s and M/s are different. Dominant/submissive "This is USUALLY{disclaimer, i said usually not always} a 24/7 playstyle but a not a lifestyle, it is a type of power exchange in how they react to each other in their relationship. Also subs are considered OWNED play partners. Master/slave This is USUALLY (disclaimer, i said usually not always) a 24/7 lifestyle not a playstyle. 24/7 M/s is "always on" they live their life as Master/slave every our of every day. Also slaves are considered OWNED property. someone once asked me what the difference was between a sub and a slave and i said this " to a sub her Dominant is a part of her world.....to a slave her Master is her world" now take this tongue n cheek these are simply my viewpoint, and we A/all know everyone will have a different opinion. Intresting as I have found that D/s as a lifestyle not a playstyle the issue here is that subs maintain limits and rights seprate from thier owners. in M/s the owner and slave share limits making it appear to be a no limit situation. Where S/m is for topping and bottoming (activities) I know slaves who top and owners who bottom.. I also know "vanillas" that get kinky and would tell you they are not lifestyle they are kinky and like it that way. In my not so humble opinion BDSM is a very large umbrella that it all falls under. Asking yourself is this an activity? If it is an activity like reading, biking, watching a movie, it pretty much is exempt from being a lifestyle. D/s or M/s is how you interelate within the relationship on a day to day basis not what they do to spice up your sex life. S/m is spicing up your sex life. But like I said this is my opinion.

darkinshadows -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 6:18:41 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CollaredProperty quote: ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1 Is there a difference between SM and D/s....or are they completely two separate things...I was speaking to someone who told me they are one in the same.....from my reading and research ...I found them to be two different relationships....with similar underlying factors.... The discussion made me think...so I thought I'd post it and get some others thoughts on the issue.... yes D/s and M/s are different. Dominant/submissive "This is USUALLY{disclaimer, i said usually not always} a 24/7 playstyle but a not a lifestyle, it is a type of power exchange in how they react to each other in their relationship. Also subs are considered OWNED play partners. Master/slave This is USUALLY (disclaimer, i said usually not always) a 24/7 lifestyle not a playstyle. 24/7 M/s is "always on" they live their life as Master/slave every our of every day. Also slaves are considered OWNED property. someone once asked me what the difference was between a sub and a slave and i said this " to a sub her Dominant is a part of her world.....to a slave her Master is her world" now take this tongue n cheek these are simply my viewpoint, and we A/all know everyone will have a different opinion. I believe that the OP was talking SM rather than M/s... but I could be wrong. Peace and Rapture

feastie -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 6:23:52 AM)
Yes, D/s and SM are different relationships. D/s is a relationship between people who live thier lives in a state of power exchange, dominant and submissive. The relationship can or cannot include SM. SM is a description of play, usually sexual in nature, but not always. While it does require the persons involved to assume the role of dominant or submissive, it is for the length of the play only. Once the session is complete, the power exchange ends.

Tikkiee -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 6:31:49 AM)
Bondage Dominance Sadism Masochism 4 completely different aspects. Dominance/Dominant submission/submissive 2 completely different aspects Master slave Again, 2 completely different aspects

CrappyDom -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 7:30:38 AM)
They are all variations on a theme with most people putting their favorite flavor on a pedestal with the others on lesser mounts. This sounds like an argument on religion where people always claim the "good ones" but the bad ones "aren't really religious"... What if a 24/7 D/s couple had vanilla sex on sunday, does that really make them 24/6?

PhoenixLM -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 7:39:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom They are all variations on a theme with most people putting their favorite flavor on a pedestal with the others on lesser mounts. This sounds like an argument on religion where people always claim the "good ones" but the bad ones "aren't really religious"... What if a 24/7 D/s couple had vanilla sex on sunday, does that really make them 24/6? uhmmmmmmmm d/s isn't about sex. Just my opinion and the way, I live but if it were all about the sex then boy am I missing out.

HollyS -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 7:57:32 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: eruditegirl1 Is there a difference between SM and D/s....or are they completely two separate things...I was speaking to someone who told me they are one in the same... Everyone's got their own spin on this, but I think most people would say that they are different. D/s or Dominance/submission involves power exchange where one person submits his/her will to the other. For people who are service-oriented, a D/s relationship might include things like serving a formal dinner, giving massage, making a drink, and other sorts of butler/majordomo responsibilities. Whether or not sex is involved is a seperate issue. S/M is sadism/masochism, which involves the giving and receiving of pain and/or humiliation. A masochist doesn't necessarily give up power simply because they allow someone else to inflict pain on them -- they might be of the "Is that as hard as you can hit?" variety. A sadist enjoys inflicting pain for pain's sake and gets off on seeing someone else suffer. A masochist enjoys taking pain for pain's sake and gets off on being made to suffer. Again, whether or not sex is involved is a seperate issue. Some D/s relationships involve elements of S/M and vice versa. There are as many combinations of relationship as there are shades of color in the spectrum -- finding what works for you regardless of label will likely serve you and yours best. ~Holly

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 8:20:31 AM)
For me S&M are kinky activities people do that involve pain, or what people traditionally interpret as pain. D/s is an authority based relationship dynamic.

champagnewishes -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 8:27:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ScooterTrash M/s & D/s are primarily mental aspects while S & M are more physical, although there are certainly some mental undertones. Once again, I agree and defer to ScooterTrash's response.

kyraofMists -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 8:27:36 AM)
I think there is a difference between sadomasochism and D/s relationships. To me, D/s (and M/s) are relationships that have a defined authority structure. SM is something people do for fun; it can be with your partner or with someone you just met. Knight's kyra

CrappyDom -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 8:30:20 AM)
If a sadist makes someone do housework to torture them and a dominant canes a woman to test her submission, has the sadist become a dominant and the dominant a sadist?

JassWolf -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 8:32:53 AM)
I am dominant in a D/s relationship that aims to become M/s. However, neither of us would label ourselves masochist or sadist. JW

becca333 -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 8:36:49 AM)
SM is what you do. D/s is what you are.

ExistentialSteel -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 8:38:16 AM)
I started to write my thoughts on this, but I really couldn't add anything to what Scooter said so well.

HollyS -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 8:38:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom If a sadist makes someone do housework to torture them and a dominant canes a woman to test her submission, has the sadist become a dominant and the dominant a sadist? grins I love questions like that. I'm going to assume that the motivations of the people you've listed are exactly as you've stated: A sadist "making someone do housework to torture them" is inflicting pain for pain's sake -- they aren't enjoying the act of domination, they're enjoying watching the poor bottom suffer while scrubbing the floor (likely while wearing rice-filled knee pads or something!). It's the motivation that makes the difference. Similarly, a "dominant who canes a woman to test her submission" isn't caning her because seeing her sub in pain is terrific fun. He's doing it to see if the sub will hold to protocol and obey even when he/she doesn't want to. The Dom is enjoying the exercise of power rather than the infliction of pain for pain's sake. Again, motivation is the difference. All IMO, of course. Your mileage may vary. ~Holly

kyraofMists -> RE: Difference between SM and D/s (6/4/2006 8:41:55 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom If a sadist makes someone do housework to torture them and a dominant canes a woman to test her submission, has the sadist become a dominant and the dominant a sadist? Not sure if this is a rhetorical question or not but I'll add my two cents anyway... A sadist can also be dominant (they can also be submissive or neither). Dominance and sadism can co-exist very well. However, just because a dominant canes their submissive does not make them a sadist in my opinion. Inflicting pain on someone or having pain inflicted on you does not make you a sadist or a masochist. Being sexually aroused or receiving pleasure from the act makes you a sadist or a masochist.

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