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Being a ass? - 4/1/2012 7:49:19 PM   
Kevinlee775


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/21/2011
Status: offline 		This is a strange thing for me but I figured I would lay everything out, and see what people have to say. I have always been a nice guy soft spoken and light hearted. While a bunch of stuff happen I decided I can no longer be submissive. so I keep my ways and look for what I want. knowing it will be hard. I am more dominant in all my relationships and get what I want more. Still not finding a real women I started to get annoyed and frustrated. I started to treat women the way I never wanted to. I was a outright ass toward them. Next thing I know online and in real life. the type of women I was looking for wanted me more. I decided to try it on some other things. people just caved in all the time. I even got a guy to give me his wife for a week by being a dick to him and his wife. I rely don't understand why it works?

So what I am wondering is why does being a complete ass work?
Also Is there any way to stay light hearted and soft spoken and still get what I want?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Being a ass? - 4/1/2012 8:09:17 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kevinlee775

This is a strange thing for me but I figured I would lay everything out, and see what people have to say. I have always been a nice guy soft spoken and light hearted. While a bunch of stuff happen I decided I can no longer be submissive. so I keep my ways and look for what I want. knowing it will be hard. I am more dominant in all my relationships and get what I want more. Still not finding a real women I started to get annoyed and frustrated. I started to treat women the way I never wanted to. I was a outright ass toward them. Next thing I know online and in real life. the type of women I was looking for wanted me more. I decided to try it on some other things. people just caved in all the time. I even got a guy to give me his wife for a week by being a dick to him and his wife. I rely don't understand why it works?

So what I am wondering is why does being a complete ass work?
Also Is there any way to stay light hearted and soft spoken and still get what I want?


I don't know Kevin. But I do know that I'm not going to treat people like crap just to "get some." I'd rather remain single and have some integrity. I would not want to get involved with a woman who was drawn to me because I acted like an ass.

But that's me. If you're happy...and she's happy....more power to ya

(in reply to Kevinlee775)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Being a ass? - 4/1/2012 8:21:42 PM   
Kevinlee775


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/21/2011
Status: offline 		I am not sure if I am or not. What I am pondering is if I can stay the way I am and still get what I want without becoming a ass. While being a ass has a lot of benefits so far I am not sure if I fill right being that way.

(in reply to hausboy)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Being a ass? - 4/1/2012 8:38:34 PM   
Killerangel


Posts: 1169
Joined: 8/3/2010
Status: offline 		Hausboy is right, what type of people are you attracting to you by being an ass, and would they be worthwhile to you? If it's not a trait of yours on a day to day basis then why would you want to keep being something you aren't in order to get something you may not really want in the end? I don't think there is much to be gained here except for some fleeting encounters and if that's what floats your boat fine, but it might not feel right to the 'real' you in the end. Ill gotten gains and all that.

(in reply to Kevinlee775)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Being a ass? - 4/1/2012 8:47:00 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		okay..but Kevin...
think about it.

She's attracted to you when you act like an ass. So if she finds out that you were just acting like an ass just to get her in bed...

...she'll think you're no longer acting the part.


(in reply to Killerangel)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Being a ass? - 4/1/2012 8:53:18 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kevinlee775

This is a strange thing for me but I figured I would lay everything out, and see what people have to say. I have always been a nice guy soft spoken and light hearted. While a bunch of stuff happen I decided I can no longer be submissive. so I keep my ways and look for what I want. knowing it will be hard. I am more dominant in all my relationships and get what I want more. Still not finding a real women I started to get annoyed and frustrated. I started to treat women the way I never wanted to. I was a outright ass toward them. Next thing I know online and in real life. the type of women I was looking for wanted me more. I decided to try it on some other things. people just caved in all the time. I even got a guy to give me his wife for a week by being a dick to him and his wife. I rely don't understand why it works?

So what I am wondering is why does being a complete ass work?
Also Is there any way to stay light hearted and soft spoken and still get what I want?


Some people are here just to get laid, while others are also here to be talked rough to and humiliated. It takes all kinds.

You might get a lot of tail by being an ass, and it might work for you for a while, but if you want a long term relationship...are any of these temporary ones you are enjoying right now going to be liveable for long term? Find out what you want and then go for it. Don't lower your own standards for ANYONE.

(in reply to Kevinlee775)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Being a ass? - 4/1/2012 8:58:45 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		The man who became Master to me: He was not an ass.
He met me here on CM 3 years ago.

We have been together ever since.

He wasn't an ass then, isn't now and wasn't in between.

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(in reply to Kevinlee775)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Being a ass? - 4/1/2012 9:06:58 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline 		Kevin,

It is possible that when you are an ass you are also projecting self-confidence... and you generally don't feel that confident in real life?

Women like confident men, and confidence is something you can learn.

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RE: Being a ass? - 4/1/2012 9:06:59 PM   
hausboy


Posts: 2360
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		exactly Cynthia and Angelika...

Women with good self-esteem won't be attracted to a guy that behaves like an ass.

I do understand what Kevin is saying-- I went out on dates with women who seemed to have really low self esteem (amazing what you can learn on a first date)--I decided they weren't good matches and I polite declined a second date when they asked. A couple of them kept texting me and I started ignoring them. It seemed like the more I ignored them, the more they wanted to date me. I had to very clearly explain to them I wasn't interested. Common denominator? All of them had been in relationships with guys who treated them like doormats.

(in reply to angelikaJ)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Being a ass? - 4/1/2012 10:35:34 PM   
Kevinlee775


Posts: 13
Joined: 12/21/2011
Status: offline
quote:

It is possible that when you are an ass you are also projecting self-confidence... and you generally don't feel that confident in real life?

Women like confident men, and confidence is something you can learn.


I would go with you on that point but I have more then enough self-confidence. I have no issue talking to women or asking them out. It just seems like I get more responses by being a ass then by being a good guy. I dont know why that is But I am trying to figure out. As odd as it may seem I asked on of my exs why she broke up with me. she said I was to nice of a guy. I was a ass about it and she wanted to give it another shot(never getting back with her). I am trying to rap my head around this. Also thank you to everyone who has given me advice. Every bit helps.

(in reply to hausboy)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Being a ass? - 4/2/2012 4:01:49 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: hausboy


I don't know Kevin. But I do know that I'm not going to treat people like crap just to "get some." I'd rather remain single and have some integrity. I would not want to get involved with a woman who was drawn to me because I acted like an ass.

But that's me. If you're happy...and she's happy....more power to ya


This.

On these forums we've seen quite a few examples of male ass. Each developed quite a female following. Yet, I never read that a single one had ever had any sort of successful long term relationships. Being an ass might get you laid but I doubt it will gain you a long term relationship.

I've spent 22 years with a guy that only has assy moments (which I abhor btw) but then again, so do I ( I abhor those even more than his assy moments). But the fact of the matter is, he is a really nice human being. Someone I actually respect and that is pretty fucking rare. I trust him explicitly. If he was an ass when I met him, or consistantly at any time in the last 22 years.......we would not have been together for 22 years. I don't trust or enjoy, asses. (disclaimer.......of the sort this thread is discussing.....)

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 4/2/2012 4:02:24 AM >

_____________________________

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Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Being a ass? - 4/2/2012 5:17:04 AM   
kalikshama


Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I'd rather remain single and have some integrity


This ^

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RE: Being a ass? - 4/2/2012 6:11:56 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kevinlee775

I started to treat women the way I never wanted to. I was a outright ass toward them. Next thing I know online and in real life. the type of women I was looking for wanted me more. I decided to try it on some other things. people just caved in all the time.


Please define what you mean by "being an ass." What actions did you take? What did you say?

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The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

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Profile   Post #: 13
RE: Being a ass? - 4/2/2012 7:26:04 AM   
littlecherie


Posts: 137
Joined: 3/29/2012
Status: offline 		Master can be an 'jerk' sometimes, but he is always respectful toward everyone. If I had to change your personality to catch someone, I wouldn't be with them.

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(hellionsLight)

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Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Being a ass? - 4/2/2012 9:55:58 AM   
tng


Posts: 57
Joined: 6/28/2007
Status: offline
quote:

So what I am wondering is why does being a complete ass work?

Bitches be crazy.
quote:

Also Is there any way to stay light hearted and soft spoken and still get what I want? 
No, this is SERIOUS stuff!!

_____________________________

If the above makes sense -- you probably misread it.

(in reply to Kevinlee775)
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RE: Being a ass? - 4/2/2012 12:08:10 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		It doesn't....at least for me. I like that Master is well rounded, caring and sympathetic.

I'd say the people you are running into that enjoy you being a dick are the same ones who are not looking for anything serious and are stuck in a fantasy world and not real life relationships.

If all you are looking for is kinky sex and/or play and casual relationships then so be it and continue on. If not then be yourself and stop pretending to be someone else. Being yourself will be more successful in the end although it may take longer to find it. That's all long term serious relationships though...not just bdsm ones.


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Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

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Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Being a ass? - 4/2/2012 4:16:30 PM   
adx


Posts: 102
Joined: 1/6/2010
Status: offline 		Depending on what you mean by "being an ass" it can be a good thing. You will know if you have gone to far about the same time you hit the floor after trying to push shit you shouldn't have.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 17
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