Seperation Anxiety (Full Version)

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NCSilverWolves -> Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:27:45 PM)

I was wondering if others....dom and or subs... ever have seperation anxiety. When you meet.... or scene.... or become collared ....by one that lives close... or not close enough?

It's been a week sense i've seem Wolf and things went pretty well. Guess I was still on my sub high for most of it. About Friday I started my desent.  And did so without a hard crash. Or maybe I thought so. Maybe i'm still desending. And it's harder than I first thought. It's been  a lotta years sense feeling this. The only way I can  describe it is seperation anxiety. Not being able to be with Wolf is causing me to misfire over the past 2 days. Seems nothing I try to do will work right. I find myself slightly short tempered. Having to count to 10 before speaking on some matters to people off line. Sometimes counting higher to on liners. So that it doesn't seem like I'm barking at them... or flamming anyone here on the forum.

So I got to thinking... do others have ways of dealing with seperation from their partners? I'm not talking about going and doing other things....lol. I do that. It's more of when I really don't have anything to do. I don't sit around and wallow in the..."Oh I wish Wolf was here.... etc...etc....etc..." I have a life and my girls to contend with. I'm just simply wondering about the desire to be with someone... just to be with them... in their presents. Even if it's to see their smile.... hear their voice when they speak. Knowing that they're there... to listen to you...even when you have nothing to say.

Ok ... i'm done feeling like shit.....lol...so I am wondering... how others... doms and subs... deal with not being able to be with the  new person in their life?

Seperation Anxiety..... It really sucks!..... LOL



bandit25 -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:35:31 PM)

I'm so sorry for you.  I, too, am in a LDR and, yeah, it sucks.  I don't do anything...well, I post and read...LOL.  I would like to hear other people's coping strategies.

Let me amend that...the relationship is wonderful...the distance sucks. 



ownedgirlie -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:37:09 PM)

Hello my little grannysmith friend (You will always be "true" to me, hehe)...

I'm copy/pasting this from a thread in Ask a Submissive, "How do you get over..."  I think it replies to your question, too....

I relish in the moment.  That longing, that ache, that inner drive...all cause me to feel him.  When I ache like that, I feel gratitude for his ownership, for touching me so intensely that  i would long for him so madly.  In times like those, I wallow in the sweet torture of knowing just a voice in my ear, a breath on my skin, a hand on my flesh, will catapult me into exctasy once again.

During those times, I tend to write to him, pouring out my heart in an effort to splay open my very soul and invite him in.  Some of my best writing is done during those times. 

Or, I might set up my camera and take pictures for him, of me in my neediness.

Or I might write him a story - a fantasy of slutty, nasty, passionate and/or tender ways in which I yearn to please him.

Difficult as they may be, enjoy these moments.  Cherish them.  Reach into yourself and feel him within you.



NCSilverWolves -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:38:02 PM)

It's not really a ldr... he lives about 2 hours away... that's what makes it harder..LOL..

I've had ldr before... off line... and it wasn't this hard.



givemyall -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:38:12 PM)

I feel soooo sorry for you, yes ive been there - it turns me into a maniac, I shout at people, scream at the kids for no reason and then the worst part is, I start to tear the relationship apart.... I start to think about trust and all the other things that can go wrong - in fact, im useless at long distance relationships. 

Another thing that I think is strange, is that I know that I am doing it, but I dont have the power to stop myself..... I guess its just part of my nature.

Im sorry not to be able to offer you any magic advice that will take your sorrow away, I just wanted you to know that you aren't in the boat alone!

I hope everything goes well for you x



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:39:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NCSilverWolves
Ok ... i'm done feeling like shit.....lol...so I am wondering... how others... doms and subs... deal with not being able to be with the  new person in their life?

Seperation Anxiety..... It really sucks!..... LOL



I imagine we've all been there, hon. {{{HUG}}} Yes, it sucks.

The one thing I tend to do when I'm faced with alone time, and this feeling creeps up, is to allow myself to wallow a bit in the emotions. It doesn't do a lot of good to try to distract myself 100% of the time. (Although that's a habit of mine LOL). I listen to cheerful music that helps elevate and focus me to the good feelings. Or write about how good everything felt when we were together. (In a journal to share with him, or just little letters to put away and suprise him with, some day.)

I also like to think of things to do that I can tell him about. Things to share. Or do chores/tasks that I know he will be proud of me for. It's nicer for a partner to hear about what you did while they weren't there, than to be faced with a gloomy "Nothing. The time dragged, and I was miserable and missed you!"

As a writer, I also like to write little erotic stories about us. These make great little surprises, or naughty little emails, or bedtime stories when you are together again. It also helps your partner get to know more about your psyche, and fantasies, so you can feel as though the time away was not time when you "weren't" getting to know each other.

Hope some of this helps.



bandit25 -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:40:28 PM)

Owned...love the writing and story ideas.  Yeah, I do live in the moment and cherish each one of them.



NCSilverWolves -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:42:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ownedgirlie

Hello my little grannysmith friend (You will always be "true" to me, hehe)...

I'm copy/pasting this from a thread in Ask a Submissive, "How do you get over..."  I think it replies to your question, too....

I relish in the moment.  That longing, that ache, that inner drive...all cause me to feel him.  When I ache like that, I feel gratitude for his ownership, for touching me so intensely that  i would long for him so madly.  In times like those, I wallow in the sweet torture of knowing just a voice in my ear, a breath on my skin, a hand on my flesh, will catapult me into exctasy once again.

During those times, I tend to write to him, pouring out my heart in an effort to splay open my very soul and invite him in.  Some of my best writing is done during those times. 

Or, I might set up my camera and take pictures for him, of me in my neediness.

Or I might write him a story - a fantasy of slutty, nasty, passionate and/or tender ways in which I yearn to please him.

Difficult as they may be, enjoy these moments.  Cherish them.  Reach into yourself and feel him within you.



Owned... We're too much alike... I do those things too... because it makes me feel the same... but sometimes it makes me feel... too dependant..... and sometimes too...foolish?..... Told you.. it's been a long time ..... i'm older now... and I guess I think things differently. Maybe too much thinking.... who knows....

But do love the response... because you hit the nail right on the head for me.

Love you gal... (and I'll always be true to me too....[;)])



ownedgirlie -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:43:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NCSilverWolves

It's not really a ldr... he lives about 2 hours away... that's what makes it harder..LOL..

I've had ldr before... off line... and it wasn't this hard.



Master and I are two hours away too, and I know the feeling.  So close, yet so far.  You want to just jump in the car and head over...Sometimes I beg to, just for a few minutes of his time, and he allows it, and my world is rocked.  :)



NCSilverWolves -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:46:04 PM)

I know Owned... if girls didn't have school tomorrow.. I would be north bound... LOL

Edits to add...Summer Break begins June 9th..LOL



ownedgirlie -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:47:45 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NCSilverWolves

Owned... We're too much alike... I do those things too... because it makes me feel the same... but sometimes it makes me feel... too dependant..... and sometimes too...foolish?..... Told you.. it's been a long time ..... i'm older now... and I guess I think things differently. Maybe too much thinking.... who knows....

But do love the response... because you hit the nail right on the head for me.

Love you gal... (and I'll always be true to me too....[;)])



To me, there is no such thing as "too dependent" on my Master.  My dependency on him allows me to be totally independent everywhere else.  But in the early days, that kind of dependency on him scared the hell out of me.  (It was 2 years ago TODAY that he found me, btw...big smiles).  It is not foolish to crave your Master.  It is not foolish to miss him and long for him, and to express that in words, deeds, and thoughts.  Too much thinking, that is something I had to reconcile with myself.  Just let things be.  Odd are he will absolutely love that you miss him so much.  When I tell Master how much I miss him, a typical reply is, "As it should be."  Iin our quiet moments, I learn it makes him feel good to know how I ache for him.

Love you too my friend.  My true friend!



NCSilverWolves -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:50:13 PM)

Cin!.... I like you.....and Owned... do alot of writing. Maybe this is my downfold actually. Because it makes me want his input. I get eager to hear his thoughts if he has any to share as soon  as possible.. and the wait gets to me too. Makes it all that much harder to deal with this ....at least for me. Maybe I should stop writing for awhile...LOL



NCSilverWolves -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 12:54:57 PM)

givemyall.... ( love that name btw)

Got a small feeling... gonna get slightly crowded in this boat... we might need a cruise ship..LOL



OhBeMyMind -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 1:08:48 PM)

~fast reply~

NCSilverWolves, I can completely relate to how you are feeling, even though Sir and I live in the same town it is not always possible to drop everything to see each other, although we have been known to do so on an occasion or two. 
When I start feeling that seperation anxiety I simply pick up the phone and call him, which seems to be happening more frequently....hmnmmmm.



givemyall -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 1:15:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NCSilverWolves



Got a small feeling... gonna get slightly crowded in this boat... we might need a cruise ship..LOL



What a great idea, lets leave the men to it and go on a holiday, I vote for the Queen Mary II - she looks fabulous!  Who's coming?



NCSilverWolves -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 1:19:25 PM)

booking passage now...LOL



Vancouver_cinful -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 1:24:19 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: NCSilverWolves

Cin!.... I like you.....and Owned... do alot of writing. Maybe this is my downfold actually. Because it makes me want his input. I get eager to hear his thoughts if he has any to share as soon  as possible.. and the wait gets to me too. Makes it all that much harder to deal with this ....at least for me. Maybe I should stop writing for awhile...LOL


LOL Yes, I admit I have gone to my journal, or email, obsessively to see if he managed to check in from work, and leave a comment yet. That's when I tell myself it's time to get out of the house, and away from the computer.

Just be glad you have kids and hobbies to keep you busy. Not much else you can do with the dreaded Impatience. It's a demon I wrestle with, all the time. I think I always will. [&:]



xxmstrchasxx -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 1:48:30 PM)

My sub lives about 2500 miles away right now even though we lived together in the past, her job here closed down and they transferred her.

Of course, when we first met we were 3500 miles away from each other, so we're getting closer LOL

Anyway, Doms have the same thing happen, at least I do.  Maybe, a Dom isn't supposed to say that LMAO  But I get down when she's gone a while and sometimes have a hard time dealing with it wishing she were here.

We have been together for 8 years now and only a short time of that was living together but it's supposed to change next month. I see her  from 2-3 days a week usually twice a month.  She is moving back here as her job is putting her in a new postion (I tried to put her in a new postion once, about killed her...joking, joking!) 

Anyway, I think the best way to cope with being away from each other is just try to keep yourself busy doing something you like.  Of course, you can't do that all the time but it does help some.










Calandra -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 1:51:35 PM)

two words:
PAMPER YOURSELF



PlayfulOne -> RE: Seperation Anxiety (6/4/2006 2:44:29 PM)

Well Ms True (hey like owned thats probably how I'll always address you in here)

I spent my afternoon pestering you.  The little one had to go on a business trip to Key West (damn the bitch, to the keys no less, lol, and I meant bitch in the sweetest of ways)  and I couldn't go.  She left Sat and won't be back until Monday night (I could not take off Monday hence why I am still here).  So I drag around, read, pester others and try to make the time pass.  On the plus side I know when I am going to see her.   I told you earlier how lucky I feel to have found  someone who was completely perfect for me and we were only 10 minutes apart.  There are times I think 10 minutes has been too much, I don't think I could survive 2 hours. 

You know we adore you, take care of yourself

K



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