Punishment ideas? (Full Version)

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DaKid8 -> Punishment ideas? (4/4/2012 10:15:26 PM)

I have a new slave and I need ideas on how to punish her.



myotherself -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 12:02:38 AM)

The punishment should reflect the severity and nature of the infraction.

Decide what the problem is and then make a decision as to how you want to correct it.

We don't know you, your sub or the kind of dynamic you've agreed upon. We don't know what he/she has done wrong, or why it's wrong. Only the two of you know that. Therefore you are best placed to make any punishment decisions.

Being a dominant means taking responsibility for leading the relationship in whatever manner you wish. If you're struggling to do that, then maybe this is the time to reflect on the kind of relationship you want.

Failing that, use the 'search' feature at the top right of the page. You'll find many, many threads started by people who are in a similar position to you.



peppermint -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 12:40:17 AM)

Perhaps before you start to punish someone you should make sure it's not your fault. 



pghays04 -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 12:49:12 AM)

Perhaps the young man was was looking for some thoughts about useful methods for when the need does arise instead of for a punishment that is needed now.



peppermint -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 1:08:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04

Perhaps the young man was was looking for some thoughts about useful methods for when the need does arise instead of for a punishment that is needed now.


Well, then I think talking abou it is what is needed.  That way he'll learn why it happened. 

I was punished once early in my relationship.  We were both feeling out our limits.  He wouldn't let me read books for 3 days.  We have since discovered that punishments are not needed, just talk. 



CeriseNin -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 1:12:44 AM)

True. But IMO one size does not fit all. What is punishment to me may seem a breeze to her. He'd be better off getting to know what makes his new slave tick, so that the punishment is just that to her.

YMMV



peppermint -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 1:42:48 AM)

Very very true, CeriseNin



LadyPact -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 3:10:39 AM)

The girl has an inexperience Master.  Isn't the punishment enough?

OK, ok.  Joking aside, let's look at this logically.

What you are asking is too vague.  Nobody here has any idea of what kind of offense requires the punishment, what kind of corrective action you have already taken, or what actually would be a negative recourse for her.  Is it a repeated problem?  Have you not conveyed your expectations properly?  What is your role in this?



tsatske -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 3:47:32 AM)

I have this suggested netequite rule that I post from time to time, but no one every listens to me. As a general rule, it is a good idea, when entering a new community, to read about a weeks worth of threads/ posts before posting, then respond to 50 threads before starting one. But that's just an idea.



Rochsub2009 -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 7:18:39 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaKid8

I have a new slave and I need ideas on how to punish her.


I think you can answer your own question if you pretend that she's not your slave. Instead, think about what you'd do if she were your child. When you look at it that way, I think that you'll quickly realize that the punishment needs to fit the offense. So there is no such thing as one punishment that fits every situation.

You'll also probably realize that each child is different. What works on one child might be completely ineffective on another.

Remember, BDSM isn't as mystical as some people like to make it seem. People are people. It doesn't matter if they're slaves, or children, or criminals. The punishment needs to fit the crime. But you have to know the individual well enough to understand which types of punishments will work best on them.

None of us know your slave as well as you do. So you are actually the best source of ideas. Think about what your slave likes, and what he/she doesn't like. Then come up with an appropriate punishment.

I hope that helps.



OsideGirl -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 7:27:32 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: pghays04

Perhaps the young man was was looking for some thoughts about useful methods

And perhaps he should start by having a few thoughts of his own first.

OP, we don't know you. We don't her. And quite frankly, if you're new, there's a pretty good chance her failures are because of your lack of experience. If you can't figure out how to set your submissive up to succeed and instill the desire to follow you....the relationship is doomed.



Hillwilliam -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 7:35:48 AM)

Send her to an older balding Dom who knows what he's doing.[8D]



kalikshama -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 9:01:09 AM)

As I said on your other thread:

I suggest you do nothing until you have read SM 101: A Realistic Introduction

See also this booklist: http://www.collarchat.com/m_1726118/tm.htm



DaKid8 -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 11:05:00 AM)

Thanks for your input. I should have been more specific.
I was meaning punishment ideas for the future. Methods and such. Maybe examples of successful punishments that have worked from your own experience. Whether it be for smaller things or bigger things.

I am just reasearching right now. I am NOT letting strangers on the internet run my relationship. I am simply looking for ideas, tips or suggestions. In the end I will take all the info I have gathered and I may use some or none of it depending on the situation.

@OsideGirl- Hey. Feel free to suck a dick. I have my own thoughts and I am pretty smart.

@pghays04- Yes that is what I meant thank you.

@CeriseNin- True. I was just curious to see other peoples ideas. Then mix anything I find interesting if the time arises.



OsideGirl -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 11:51:21 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaKid8


@OsideGirl- Hey. Feel free to suck a dick. I have my own thoughts and I am pretty smart.




I do. Quite often....and we both enjoy it. As for the second part, this posting pretty much doesn't really prove that point.



poise -> RE: How To Punish A Self-titled Master? (4/5/2012 11:53:49 AM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaKid8
OsideGirl- Hey. Feel free to suck a dick. I have my own thoughts and I am pretty smart.

Judging by your response to OsideGirl, I'd say being in a relationship with you as the director is punishment enough.
I think you should take some corner time and really think about what her message is telling you.



peppermint -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 12:05:36 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaKid8

Thanks for your input. I should have been more specific.
I was meaning punishment ideas for the future.



You are assuming that your sub will do something worthy of punishment, before she has done it.  One of the things you should concentrate on is leading in a way that there is little chance for the sub to fail.  If you do your best then most likely the sub will also do an excellent job.  You will then have to discover ways to praise your sub. 

Now, grow up.  Read.  Learn.  And don't insult the people who give you the best advice you are likely to ever get.  Your comment was against the TOS YOU agreed to follow when YOU joined Collarme. 



Rochsub2009 -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 12:22:38 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaKid8

@OsideGirl- Hey. Feel free to suck a dick. I have my own thoughts and I am pretty smart.



If you go back and re-read what she said, it was actually good advice. Don't be defensive. Sometimes wisdom comes in forms that is hard to digest. But it's good advice nonetheless.

As she stated, as the leader you need to set your slave up for success, not punishment. With proper leadership, she may never (or rarely) require punishment.

Also, if you're a sadist and your slave is a masochist, then what you're looking for are creative ideas for "funishment". That's very different from punishment. Punishment is intended to correct bad behavior. "Funishment" is when you beat her simply because you enjoy doing so. And for a sadist/masochist couple, that's often the best type of play. [;)]



OsideGirl -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 12:44:15 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DaKid8

I was meaning punishment ideas for the future.


It's very telling that you're more concerned about future transgressions than you are with learning about how to give her the tools she needs to succeed.



DesFIP -> RE: Punishment ideas? (4/5/2012 1:15:23 PM)

Figure out why you couldn't teach her to succeed. Why you can't inspire her to obey.
Because as the master has the greater power in the relationship, he also has the greater responsibility for things that go wrong.

Now if you're talking fun & games, you need to make sure she's fine being told she failed even when it is to you an obvious joke. Some are and some aren't.

But real punishment doesn't teach skills to succeed in the future, it doesn't problem solve to find out how to prevent the same situation recurring. Just as you learn to succeed in school more from a teacher who takes time to go over with you what your problem is, instead of simply failing you and telling you that you're a useless waste of space in the classroom, so it is with any interpersonal relationship.



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