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RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 10/29/2004 11:21:19 PM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

Is it abuse to kick someone who wears a *kick me* sign? I have to wonder.

WONDER NO MORE!!
OF COURSE IT IS NOT ABUSE
ITS CALLED AVAILING DUTY TO ASKED ACTION!
LOL


quote:

**Betrayed Trust**

Lets look at the root of the meaning here as well as the action and reaction.
Betrayed: To deliver into the hands of an enemy by treachery or
fraud, in violation of trust; to give up treacherously or
faithlessly To prove faithless or treacherous to, as to a trust or one
who trusts; to be false to; to deceive; as, to betray a
person or a cause. To violate the confidence of, by disclosing a secret, or
that which one is bound in honor not to make known. To disclose or discover, a something which prudence would conceal; to reveal unintentionally.

The Son of man shall be betrayed into the hands of men.
But when I rise, I shall find my legs betraying me.
Be swift to hear, but cautious of your tongue, lest you betray your ignorance.
Genius . . . often betrays itself into great errors.

Trust:
something (as property) held by one party (the trustee) for
the benefit of another (the beneficiary) the trait of trusting; of believing in the honesty and
reliability of others complete confidence in a person or plan etc; allow without fear An equitable right or interest in property distinct from
the legal ownership thereof; a use (as it existed before
the Statute of Uses); also, a property interest held by
one person for the benefit of another. Trusts are active,
or special, express, implied, constructive, etc. In a passive trust the trustee simply has title to the trust property, while its control and management are in the
beneficiary.

confidence,
security, truth.
All these things relay directly to the definitions of Honor and Integrity especially with in the application of Alternate Lifestyle living. But what can be done when the person whom has taken parts of a practice and applied it with out all of its parts especially ones as important as rules, regulations and proticals which take in the values of Honor and Integrity which protects against actions such as betrayed trust? This goes back to siimple Teaching and training actions of those of Us whom bring in those new into the Lifestyle empressing the importance in Ones Own Integrity and Honor being kept within all actions of an Alternate Lifestyler and We as a Group are held accountable for each others actions in the ways many of Us have aways been in years past keeping close tabs on Our Groups and Memeberships seeing that All gain proper training and apply such with Honor and if the need to move on for any party comes to bare it is done in a amicable way so as not to Betray the Trusts set in place which keep those with in Alternate Living Strong and allows them to florish outside of Societys Norm. There are far to many folks online in the world now whom are peeking into Our Society and Lifestyle and find it appealing with out ever discovering that it is not sumthing that can be played with as in any type of Living with out having reprocussions if not applyed properly. This goes from the mental involvement of two or more here online in a roleplay fantasy living out place where none have been taught even what safe sane concensual is and go about playing dangerously with issues and items inplace that can cause harm if not applyed cautiously and with out experiance even here online. How many can raise your hands and admit that you have had sum kind of online encounter that left you feeling * less than * ?? How many of you can admit to either having had a online encounter that ended with hurt feelings or have involved another which you hurt online as well. See it does not matter if it is played online or lived in real life as both actions effect Our well being for Humans do not simply run on Physical power but Mental power as well and all parts of the machine must balance out or the end result is a betrayed trust and a betrayed body soul and mind.

I am My Brothers Keeper..........
If Your gonna be in the business of giving Pain be sure its been negotiated, requested, accepted and documented. ( THATS OUR WAY! ) Its a easy business to write off a persons feelings when you do not have to face them head on but remember there is always a price to pay in such actions. What goes around comes around. JMO



(in reply to stormiKnightBEAR)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 10/29/2004 11:25:11 PM   
Estring


Posts: 3314
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

Perhaps 'vulnerable' and 'weak' do not mean the same thing here?


lil, you are right of course. Some people don't get it.
Everyone makes themselves vulnerable when they open themselves up to another. This does not make them weak, nor should it be a slap in the face to any sub. And a Dom can be hurt just as easily by a sub that they have let into their heart.

(in reply to lilninotchka)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 11/1/2004 4:14:38 AM   
MistressDREAD


Posts: 2943
Joined: 1/1/2004
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quote:

And a Dom can be hurt just as easily by a sub that they have let into their heart.
AMEN!

(in reply to Estring)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 1/19/2006 10:21:18 PM   
ChasteKnight


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/28/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tearanny

I can say again, that she did cover all the bases, she had been inside his house, she talked to his friends and coworkers, she ofcourse said she didnt date married men. HE LIED!! I will not continue telling the story of my sub, I can tell that regardless of how innocent she was, and how well her bases were covered there will be those that blame her for the deceit and falling for it. I made a statement, a passionate pissed off statement, I dont regret it. I see close to everyone here is sooo very willing to blame the victim for being stupid. All I can say is that you are wrong in my opinion. It is far from always the victims fault, esp someone new in the scene. I am now bowing out of this mess that I did not mean to create. I thought there was people that had the same type of experiences as myself, I see that is not the case. I see so many people judging and degrading for differing opinions, not at all attractive or something I wish to participate further in.


I had a similar situation. A Domme wrote an ad here, and didn't indicate her martial status. I corresponded with her briefly. Then, I learned from other resources that she was married. I checked her ad and her journal, and it had no reference to marital status. The ad wasn't seeking a directly sexual position, so perhaps it wasn't relevant. However, it made me feel uncomfortable and betrayed. When I brought it up, perhaps a bit too defensively, she claimed it was my fault and that I was not a good submissive.



(in reply to Tearanny)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 1/21/2006 1:19:58 AM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: GoddessJules

... it is more along the lines that every adult individual should have the tools and experience to navigate their way through life and perhaps sticky/shady situations at times. Bad things and unfortunate situations happen to all of us. . .not just submissives. ALL of us (I'm assuming) have gotten duped at one time or another.



Experience - that precious knowledge you gain by going through an incident or series of events where you really, REALLY needed the knowledge before you got involved with what happened...

In otherwords: we learn by doing, we make mistakes, we learn and grow because of it.

I do hope the submissives involved learn and grow with their experiences, it's how we turn those lemons into lemonade. And I hope that they learn to trust again, even if it takes time. There are good 'uns out here.

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to GoddessJules)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 1/21/2006 2:27:51 AM   
ragdoll


Posts: 231
Joined: 5/20/2005
From: New England
Status: offline
You do realise this topic is over a year old, right...?
It was originally created 10/27/2004 10:24:28 PM ~ so.. i'm sure the original poster has the problem well taken care of by now... ~

(in reply to EvilGeoff)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 1/21/2006 3:56:11 AM   
gbgirlz2003


Posts: 65
Joined: 12/23/2005
Status: offline
quote:

You do realise this topic is over a year old, right...?
It was originally created 10/27/2004 10:24:28 PM ~ so.. i'm sure the original poster has the problem well taken care of by now... ~


Why do people drag up these old threads and start all over again?

I am familiar with all the parties involved in this situation; and YES, they have all moved on. The sub in question still has her job. The DA still is married and cheating. What is so very "funny" about all of this is that the "dom" in question has a VERY recognizable private area and when he posted their profile on another site he decided to post his cock pic along with a full view of her. He was "busted". So there is some justice. Both the sub and the dominant are friends of ours and have survived this trauma; but with deep scars. But then that is life.

On a happier note, I am headed to Master's house today. Tonight we will celebrate his birthday, my birthday, his other sub's birthday and his new trainee's birthday....how did all these Aquarians end up in the same bed?

To all you "poly doubters", YES his wife will be there. We might all love her more than we do him...lol. Shhhhh.

_____________________________

One of Master's many sluts

(in reply to ragdoll)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 1/21/2006 8:56:50 AM   
truesub4u


Posts: 2949
Joined: 11/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gbgirlz2003

quote:

You do realise this topic is over a year old, right...?
It was originally created 10/27/2004 10:24:28 PM ~ so.. i'm sure the original poster has the problem well taken care of by now... ~


Why do people drag up these old threads and start all over again?




Because some have been raked across coals for not reading back threads on topics they wish to talk about. And when they start a new thread on it, they're told to go back through old threads and stop re-doing old threads. So now an old one has been resurfaced.

(in reply to gbgirlz2003)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 1/21/2006 9:09:48 AM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: gbgirlz2003

Why do people drag up these old threads and start all over again? ...



What true said! Word!

*LOL*

YIK,
- Geoff

(in reply to gbgirlz2003)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 1/21/2006 9:18:13 AM   
funinakron


Posts: 6
Joined: 6/11/2005
Status: offline
WHy is it that there are so many lost souls out there that have to lie and pretend to be someone else? WHy can they not just state who they are and what they really want? There has to be someone out there for them.
Having been on this site for some time now I am qualified to state that there are more phonies out there than legitimate people looking for actual experiences.
In Ohio, we have met people who lied about looks, age, experiences and the like. Many pretend to be women who collect pics. It's really sad. It's not like we are seeking the perfect person, but this gets frustrating.

(in reply to Tearanny)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 1/21/2006 9:26:20 AM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
Joined: 2/24/2005
From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

In otherwords: we learn by doing, we make mistakes, we learn and grow because of it.


True dat!

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to funinakron)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 1/21/2006 9:47:42 AM   
candystripper


Posts: 3486
Joined: 11/1/2005
Status: offline
i think self-sufficent adults are rather scarce anywhere. i also think some people get so inflamed by desire or fantasy or whatever they act like 18 yr olds (my apologies to sensible 18 yr olds). i have said till i'm blue that if someone is relocating, both parties need background checks. i have explained the use of an attorney would allow each to get reliable information but not social security numbers.

i know Doms and Masters can be hurt; i know some are lied to and others are treated like rescue workers for women who cannot manage their own lives. We all need a little help occassionally but going from man to man as a lifestyle is predatory and abusive if kids are being dragged around.

No one deserves to be harmed; but ADULTS take reasonable precautions to avoid lose/lose or lose/win situations. They are clear about what they want; what they have to offer; and what they hope to gain. There are plenty of sites available to match Y/you with someone who wants a "quickie" with a virtual stranger; why carry on with a Dom/Master/Domme for some time and then disappear? Why tell a subby or slave You want a LTR when You don't or can't?

i get frustrated because workable solutions and reasonable pecautions are not taken and suddenly a Man or woman is in dire straits. i honestly think some of these people would never act this way in a vanilla setting, but somehow, trust is much more easily given in BDSM. i cannot understand why.

candystripper


< Message edited by candystripper -- 1/21/2006 9:48:57 AM >

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 1/21/2006 10:21:28 AM   
Sunshine119


Posts: 611
Joined: 8/8/2005
Status: offline
Try using http://find.intelius.com It is a good, cheap way to find out significant information about anyone. I have discovered my fair share of Dominant liars from this site. Hopefully, I have done my last search.

(in reply to Tearanny)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: **Betrayed Trust** - 1/21/2006 7:17:35 PM   
EvilGeoff


Posts: 523
Joined: 8/24/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: funinakron

In Ohio, we have met people who lied about looks, age, experiences and the like. Many pretend to be women who collect pics. It's really sad. It's not like we are seeking the perfect person, but this gets frustrating.



Please don't feel like the Lone Ranger here... we have ALL met people who were "less than forthcoming" about real information.

RULE #1 ABOUT ONLINE CONTACTS - If you are going to make an assumption about that new online contact, assume that they are lying. Until you are able to verify information about someone you have contacted or has contacted you strictly through the internet, assume that you are dealing with somene who is yanking your chain for grins and giggles. Enjoy the interaction but do not extend any trust for your emotional, spiritual, and/or physical well-being and pleasure until you verify, Verify, VERIFY everything you can.

If he/she isn't willing to verify info, provide references, or starts spouting off about "you should trust me" or "you aren't a REAL insert label here" do not walk away, RUN.

Real people will understand your caution. Bozos, players, users, and predators will not.

(in reply to funinakron)
Profile   Post #: 54
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