How long do you wait?

How long do you wait? (Full Version)

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pghays04 -> How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 7:34:04 AM)
How long do you wait after an initial contact message to a sub shows read in your outbox before you consider silence to be your answer and move on? I believe this sub is not a flake, fake, etc. And I know she owes me nothing. Just wondering what is a reasonable amount of time.

SinFix -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 7:41:41 AM)
The second they don't send a message back.... If it shows read and she didn't respond back, it most likely means she has no interest.

pghays04 -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 7:42:59 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SinFix The second they don't send a message back.... If it shows read and she didn't respond back, it most likely means she has no interest. So, not even one day?

RedMagic1 -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 7:43:27 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pghays04 How long do you wait after an initial contact message to a sub shows read in your outbox before you consider silence to be your answer and move on? I believe this sub is not a flake, fake, etc. And I know she owes me nothing. Just wondering what is a reasonable amount of time. Are you talking about an unsolicited first email, or were you corresponding a bit already?

pghays04 -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 7:44:20 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: pghays04 How long do you wait after an initial contact message to a sub shows read in your outbox before you consider silence to be your answer and move on? I believe this sub is not a flake, fake, etc. And I know she owes me nothing. Just wondering what is a reasonable amount of time. Are you talking about an unsolicited first email, or were you corresponding a bit already? Unsolicited initial contact.

poise -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 7:49:24 AM)
It's interesting that you have a picture of yourself on a motorcycle, because I imagine you have pulled over to park it because you've found a profile that interests you. If I found a message from someone that interested me, I would answer it when I read it, give or take an hour. Has she been back online since you wrote her, and is there evidence that she has read your message yet?

pghays04 -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 7:52:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: poise It's interesting that you have a picture of yourself on a motorcycle, because I imagine you have pulled over to park it because you've found a profile that interests you. If I found a message from someone that interested me, I would answer it when I read it, give or take an hour. Has she been back online since you wrote her, and is there evidence that she has read your message yet? quote: Has she been back online since you wrote her, and is there evidence that she has read your message yet? My outbox shows it as read and she has been online every day since.

pghays04 -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 7:55:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: poise It's interesting that you have a picture of yourself on a motorcycle, because I imagine you have pulled over to park it because you've found a profile that interests you. If I found a message from someone that interested me, I would answer it when I read it, give or take an hour. Has she been back online since you wrote her, and is there evidence that she has read your message yet? P.S. My cousin took the picture while we were at a red light.

poise -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 7:59:10 AM)
So it's been a few days since you wrote? Yuck. I was rooting for you on this one, darn it! I would say fill up your tank and continue on. There are more non flakey submissives out there.

RedMagic1 -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 7:59:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pghays04 How long do you wait after an initial contact message to a sub shows read in your outbox before you consider silence to be your answer and move on? This might sound unhelpful, or hippy-dippy zen, but if you can achieve the mindset that you don't care whether the woman writes back, she will be much more likely to respond to your email. On CM, a woman's inbox is filled with desperate horndoggery. Even the emails from nice guys tend to be emails that say, "I haven't gotten laid in a whiiiiiile." If your tone of voice, and mind, are, "You seem like someone I'd like to get to know better," but is totally non-desperate, you could take her or leave her if push came to shove, she will think it is safer to respond to you. So my answer to your question is exactly what SinFix said: the minute you hit send, you don't care whether she responds. Incidentally, I've had women respond weeks later, saying things like, "I was overwhelmed," or, "I'm so sorry I didn't see your message." Rare, but it does happen.

pghays04 -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 8:05:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: pghays04 How long do you wait after an initial contact message to a sub shows read in your outbox before you consider silence to be your answer and move on? This might sound unhelpful, or hippy-dippy zen, but if you can achieve the mindset that you don't care whether the woman writes back, she will be much more likely to respond to your email. On CM, a woman's inbox is filled with desperate horndoggery. Even the emails from nice guys tend to be emails that say, "I haven't gotten laid in a whiiiiiile." If your tone of voice, and mind, are, "You seem like someone I'd like to get to know better," but is totally non-desperate, you could take her or leave her if push came to shove, she will think it is safer to respond to you. So my answer to your question is exactly what SinFix said: the minute you hit send, you don't care whether she responds. Incidentally, I've had women respond weeks later, saying things like, "I was overwhelmed," or, "I'm so sorry I didn't see your message." Rare, but it does happen. Seems kinda cold, but I guess you're right. I just see so many profiles that are really way out there, and hers was so nice.

RedMagic1 -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 8:09:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pghays04 Seems kinda cold, You want cold? A standard scammer tactic is to copypaste Match.com profile text into scammer profiles. This really nailed me when I was first on the site, because some of the women who seemed the most vanilla-interesting were in fact the most fake. Don't sink any emotion into a good profile. Don't start caring, at all, until you have a good conversation.

pghays04 -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 8:11:40 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: pghays04 Seems kinda cold, You want cold? A standard scammer tactic is to copypaste Match.com profile text into scammer profiles. This really nailed me when I was first on the site, because some of the women who seemed the most vanilla-interesting were in fact the most fake. Don't sink any emotion into a good profile. Don't start caring, at all, until you have a good conversation. Yeah, I know, but she posts on the forums a lot so I figured she was not one of the bad guys.

RedMagic1 -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 8:19:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: pghays04 Yeah, I know, but she posts on the forums a lot so I figured she was not one of the bad guys. Hm. Over the years, I have cyberflirted with, met and dated some of the female posters here. I have never once talked on the boards about who they were, though in at least one case it was kind of an open secret. Still, I think you're treading awfully close to Message Board Drama if you post a thread asking about advice about approaching a woman, when there is a good chance that woman is going to read the thread. It's not something I would do, if that matters to you. In any case, best of luck to you in the future. You seem like a decent guy.

SinFix -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 8:20:24 AM)
Just because she didn't respond does not make her a bad guy... She may not have wished to engage in a conversation with you for whatever reason.. I'm sure your a nice guy but most likely just not what she is looking for

pghays04 -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 8:22:19 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: pghays04 Yeah, I know, but she posts on the forums a lot so I figured she was not one of the bad guys. Hm. Over the years, I have cyberflirted with, met and dated some of the female posters here. I have never once talked on the boards about who they were, though in at least one case it was kind of an open secret. Still, I think you're treading awfully close to Message Board Drama if you post a thread asking about advice about approaching a woman, when there is a good chance that woman is going to read the thread. It's not something I would do, if that matters to you. In any case, best of luck to you in the future. You seem like a decent guy. Hadn't thought about it like that. I'm glad I didn't mention her name. Don't think I'll post like that again.

pghays04 -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 8:35:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SinFix Just because she didn't respond does not make her a bad guy... She may not have wished to engage in a conversation with you for whatever reason.. I'm sure your a nice guy but most likely just not what she is looking for No I don't think she is one of the bad guys. I was responding to RedMagic1 to say just the opposite.

SinFix -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 8:44:05 AM)
Sorry about that, didn't quite catch it... that'll learn me for trying to do several things at once...

LaTigresse -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 8:57:18 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: RedMagic1 quote: ORIGINAL: pghays04 Seems kinda cold, You want cold? A standard scammer tactic is to copypaste Match.com profile text into scammer profiles. This really nailed me when I was first on the site, because some of the women who seemed the most vanilla-interesting were in fact the most fake. Don't sink any emotion into a good profile. Don't start caring, at all, until you have a good conversation. This. Send it and forget it. If something comes back to you, consider it a pleasant surprise.

DesFIP -> RE: How long do you wait? (4/12/2012 8:59:03 AM)
You're overinvested. You sent a dozen pixels on a screen and you're imagining a relationship with her. That comes across as desperate and creepy, both in real life and online. If for whatever reason you feel an urge to send a quick email and you've perused her profile and know you don't kick off any red flags, then there should be no investment in receiving a response. Women can get tons of mail. She may be the type to think about it before responding. She may now be talking to someone else. Let it go. If she answers in a couple of weeks, great. If not, no harm done. Don't invest more of your time and thoughts on someone you don't know.

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