RE: how do i make a girl tie me up?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> Ask a Mistress >> RE: how do i make a girl tie me up?

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/13/2012 2:41:53 PM

Alecta

Posts: 1355
Joined: 1/19/2010
Status: offline

Ask her.
Just remember, if she says no or throws her drink in your face or never talks to you again, it doesn't matter if she's into bondage or not. It just means she won't do it with YOU.

(in reply to SnowRanger)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/13/2012 2:49:10 PM

supragenius

Posts: 46
Joined: 4/13/2012
Status: offline

id consider having a drink thrown in my face a solid "maybe." i like 'em fiery tempered and violent!

quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

Ask her.
Just remember, if she says no or throws her drink in your face or never talks to you again, it doesn't matter if she's into bondage or not. It just means she won't do it with YOU.

(in reply to Alecta)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/13/2012 3:26:00 PM

SnowRanger

Posts: 503
Joined: 5/25/2008
From: Sinsinnati
Status: offline

LOL! Untill I would have put a drink in the face in the "NO" category. But, the more I think about it...

(in reply to supragenius)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/13/2012 4:32:33 PM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain
I am just going to give you a pretty "extreme" answer....How about you ask her?

If they've flirted and hinted around about such things, then I'd agree that the direct approach might be the right approach. Especially when there's definitely sexual tension between the two of them (even if they've never acted on it).

quote:

I never tell Roch he is wrong about anything......

Hmmmmm, let me go look in the archives. I seem to remember you chasing me away with my tail between my legs a few times.

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/13/2012 4:58:13 PM

supragenius

Posts: 46
Joined: 4/13/2012
Status: offline

soemtimes it just means shes playing hard to get and she wants like a sam and diane thing

like from cheers

those two were allways fighting but then boom sparks flew

but then shelly long or whoever wanted too much money and she got her skinny white ass written off the show in season 5

thats an important lesson about lief and love

quote:

ORIGINAL: SnowRanger

LOL! Untill I would have put a drink in the face in the "NO" category. But, the more I think about it...

(in reply to SnowRanger)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/13/2012 5:34:19 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: supragenius
yeah we flirt a lot and i think she might be interested in fucking around. its just we may have different ideas of what fucking around means. instead of friends with bennies im looking more at bondage buddies with bennies and im not sure if thats something she has ever even thought about.

Long time ago I had several guy friends, co-workers, I was flirty with. It was fun, they flirted with many other women at work. It meant nothing. Nobody fucked each other.

I would not have been flattered if they had all assumed I was into uber casual no strings sex with every man who smiled at me. Friends with bennies...chit, most women could walk into a bar and get several offers. Somehow I never feel complimented when guys offer me free use of their dick and ONLY their dick. What I am saying is that you might be misreading her and that she will be offended, or think less of you. If she is hawt enough for you to want to have sex with her, then likely dozens of other guys feel the same way and have been offering her all the free, no strings dick she could ever want.

If you are more interested in bondage and a relationship doesn't really come into it, make friends with others who are into bondage.

Join a BDSM munch group, go to their play parties and bring that Knotty Boys book...and let a new Top practice on you. Before I collared my boy I was lining up half a dozen bottoms in my area to try out some new rope work on; for the past nine or so years I have used restraints and don't know spit about artistic rope work.

As for your vanilla friend, maybe find a movie with some guy tied up who is trying to free himself (after a bank robbery or kidnapping or whatever), and just ask her to tie you like that because you want to see how long it would take you to get out of it, or if you'd have to cry Uncle.

Good luck.

(in reply to supragenius)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/13/2012 10:25:55 PM

Focus50

Posts: 3962
Joined: 12/28/2004
From: Newcastle, Australia
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: supragenius

still though for real i DO talk mucho shit, but i also DO want this girl to tie me up. these two things are not, like, mutually exclusive.

You should run this pearl of wisdom by her, assuming (and then hopefully ignoring) that it's just a Freudian slip for "macho". If she can swallow your conflicted tosh of the overall statement, then I'm sure she'll have no problems trussing you up like a Christmas turkey.

Of course, she might then be tempted to take that world cruise and - maybe/maybe not - check back after....

Focus.

_____________________________

Never underestimate the persuasive power of stupid people in large groups. <unknown>

Your food is for eating, not torturing. <my mum> (Errm, when I was a kid)

(in reply to supragenius)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/14/2012 6:13:46 AM

ProlificNeeds

Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline

FR~

Just kidnap her and hold a gun to her head. "Tie me up.. or ELSE." then see what happens. I bet she'd be begging to tie you up then....

Just becareful what you wish for, once she has you tied up, she might decide to turn YOU into her toy, and not give a fuck about what you might want.

(in reply to Focus50)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/14/2012 7:11:35 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

I have a dom friend that never once thought about letting a woman tell him what to do until I one day told him all I wanted to do was play with his stick (we were shooting pool at the time) When about ten mins later I told him I knew he was old enough to be my daddy but I was sure there were some things I could teach him he very quickly became a man on his knees rather than a man in control of things. We had known each other for years. There had never been any flirting or sexual tension between us until I opened my mouth.

As for the archives, if you can find something I will be impressed. I do not remember ever chasing you away. I could start though if you would like.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/14/2012 7:17:58 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

You really shouldn't compare your life to a t.v. show or expect the same results that someone else wrote for entertainment.

*side note though* Shelly Long left to make movies, she was not written out of the show over anything other than the fact that she wanted to leave. Though the fact that she left a good job in the hopes of being a movie star is a lesson people should consider. In (real) life and love are you willing to risk giving up what you already have for something that might fall apart in the end.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to supragenius)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/14/2012 10:13:00 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

Supragenius,

Count me in the "ask her" camp.

Rope bondage is one of the easier things to introduce to a vanilla partner. It can be an art form that requires technical mastery and creativity, and for a lot of riggers this is exactly what it is... plus the energy between rigger and rope bunny. (Note, I use the term "rope bunny" in a gender neutral way.) There are plenty of artistic pictures that can be admired and these might spark your partner's curiosity: rope corsets, rope bras, different thigh and ankle ties, and so forth. If you go over to FetLife and look up rope and rigging groups, you'll find artistically appealing pictures in no time.

Another source that is non-threatening is Two Knotty Boys. You can find videos on their own web site and on YouTube. The fact YouTube leaves these on and doesn't classify them as porn is an indicator of the artistic value and non-threatening nature.

How To Tie Rope Panties
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=luGAFkxaANQ

Corselet Harness
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7hjO8f1beck

These are ties being done on women, but (minus the breast harness) they work on either gender.

People play with people they like, who they feel comfortable with, and who turn them on. So, in order to entice your partner's desire to tie you, you're going to have to entice her interest in you. It's not true that the person tying is always a dominant. Go to to a local rope group and you'll find submissives, switches, dominants, and just plain kinky people are tying and being tied. So... one approach might be to entice your partner's interest in you and in rope in general and in her desire to explore this with you. From there, she may want to try some ties on you.

How do you do this? Spend time getting to know her. Build trust. Flirt as is appropriate. Invite her out and do non BDSM things. When the time feels right, be direct and show her some artistic pictures of ties. I think it's fine to say "I've been thinking about exploring this and would like to do it with you". Find a local rope group and ask her if she'll come along with you to learn. Accept that you may be tying her as much as she ties you. Work at it organically from there.

(in reply to supragenius)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/14/2012 10:14:32 AM

supragenius

Posts: 46
Joined: 4/13/2012
Status: offline

troop beverly hills was the bomb though

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain

You really shouldn't compare your life to a t.v. show or expect the same results that someone else wrote for entertainment.

*side note though* Shelly Long left to make movies, she was not written out of the show over anything other than the fact that she wanted to leave. Though the fact that she left a good job in the hopes of being a movie star is a lesson people should consider. In (real) life and love are you willing to risk giving up what you already have for something that might fall apart in the end.

(in reply to MissImmortalPain)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/15/2012 12:44:20 AM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: supragenius

hi!

their is a woman i hang out with who is really hot. i think about her tieing me up all the time and i know just how i want her to do it but the problem is i don't have any experience with bondage and i don't think she does either. does anyone have any advice for how to bring this up and get her to do it? thanks.

I actually have some insight on this.

Go get a Betty Crocker book....start there.

If she wears the same damn dress that's on the cover....you got an uphill climb.

If, however, when you mention (your kink) to her she considers it and then says "hmmmmmm......I had a nice day today" and then tells you about her day....and then....after a rather normal evening....the next day she calls you at 2:45 in the afternoon and tells you to be at home in 27 minutes ("SHARP"!!!!!"), wearing only your birthday suit (and some heels, if that's your thing), on your knees....and when she arrives, she's wearing only an overcoat, really fucking thick makeup, some killer heels, a snarl and carrying a whip.....

I'd say you better shut the fuck up and do what you're told.

(in reply to supragenius)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/16/2012 7:15:33 AM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

Almost all of her movies were bombs. As I said there is a lesson to be learned there about leaving a situation that works for one someone is only dreaming about. If a person is willing to take a risk, knowing full well that they might in the end lose, then go for it. If the person feels is not worth the risk ...then don't.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to supragenius)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/19/2012 7:58:56 PM

MzWhipplash

Posts: 79
Joined: 3/7/2011
From: Fetlife.com
Status: offline

YSay to her you like "playing" with rope knots on yourself and there are some you can't do. Would She have a go?

But be Respectful and polite Even males who are not D or S types have immaculate manners.

(in reply to SnowRanger)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 4/19/2012 9:06:09 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: supragenius

hi!

their (there) is a woman i hang out with who is really hot. i think about her tieing (tying) me up all the time and i know just how i want her to do it but the problem is i don't have any experience with bondage and i don't think she does either. does anyone have any advice for how to bring this up and get her to do it? thanks.

Other than spelling....no.

(in reply to supragenius)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 5/1/2012 8:46:04 PM

forcedsensuality

Posts: 70
Joined: 4/27/2012
Status: offline

funny, check out his profile, here to talk shit,.. coincidentally not 99 years old..

wow, i wasn't here to talk shit when i rushed through my bogus profile, but that profile + my post lead some to assume i was here to talk shit..

so
1) it's cool to be talking shit, just admit it ?
2) it's a good idea to be clear how serious or silly you mean to be ?
3) don't mistakenly appear to be a game player ?
4) don't get offended too easily when someone accuses you of talking shit, they may just be retaliating
5) if your girlfriend is going to tie you up, it's too late to admit you were talking shit when you told her she could release you when she felt like it once you're already tied up, because by then you'd say any old shit, which she'll think is a cool game

so i'm getting to understand this forum a bit more now, but if it was my profile i think i'd say "oh and i often change my mind"

(btw fyi i'm not deliberately talking shit here, but remember i'm a newbie thinking out loud, so do let me know if you think i'm talking through a hole in my ass))

(in reply to LookieNoNookie)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 5/2/2012 3:08:46 PM

forcedsensuality

Posts: 70
Joined: 4/27/2012
Status: offline

i thought all of us BDSMers were parliamentarians

(in reply to forcedsensuality)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 5/2/2012 6:53:34 PM

FriendlyMuppet

Posts: 171
Joined: 11/16/2010
From: Corpus Christi, Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: supragenius

@lmm i thikn she'd be into it. shes got that kind of personality.

In my experience, that doesn't mean anything. I used to know a lot of dominant-sounding women who weren't into kink at all. At the same time, I used to know quite a few leather wearing, dominant talking women who actually ended up being submissives.

Believe it or not, I've found one of the best ways to approach this kind of conversation (if you don't already know the other person is into kink) is to bring up the subject by disclosing information about yourself as a submissive who has been in relationships where women have tied you up. Treat it as it's "one of those natural kinds of things" in conversation and don't over-sensationalize it, nor should you over-talk it so that it sounds less like a kink and more like a necessary fetish.

The biggest obstacle, in rank of disclosure, is:

1. Is she into being kinky? Or at least open to it. If not, you've turned her off completely and any further attempts to continue the conversation in this direction will end up turning badly.

2. Is she a top or a bottom? Just because you find someone who might be into kink doesn't mean you've found someone who wants to do the tying up. I can't tell you how many women over the years I've disclosed my lifestyle to, only to discover they're not interested in dominating me, but are quite interested in the possibility of me tying them up instead.

3. If you've gotten past those first two, the important question is: Is she interested in YOU enough to want to tie you up?

As someone else mentioned already in this thread, what does she get out of this? A lot of kinksters, (specifically, people who are interested in being dominated) often lose track of reality in that they don't remember there's another breathing human being that has her own desires and wants. If you aren't capable (and willing) to approach those, you're back to square one again.

(in reply to supragenius)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: how do i make a girl tie me up? - 5/15/2012 11:07:19 AM

forcedsensuality

Posts: 70
Joined: 4/27/2012
Status: offline

1. Hunt out the local community group. Macrame ladies are usually fairly discrete and from the outside you'd think they had nothing going on, but in an online situation or in a room full of them they're quite scary, definitely a coven although they will of course deny that. Close inspection of the tool they use will reveal the kink clearly enough about half way along the tool shaft.
I usually think of them easily dividing into two groups,
1)the bag ladies, who'll usually have a discreetly coloured but revealingly large bag, but it's the macrame you want, the bag contents will not usually be the sexy dirt you may have expected -- the purpose of underwear is to make the hidden layer (the buried treasure) look pretty sexy even though clearly there is still some uncovering to be done. It's the underwear that prettifies the hidden layer -- for many people of either sex, the underwear is the mezzanine floor of middle management, the locus of true power within the org. Once the macrame, underwear, fat layer contouring "the support is the sport, sport","Trick Pants "Intimate MakeOver MakeUnderWear" or "MakeOutWear", Rita Meter Body Amor Armour, LateSex Latex, etc is gone, and especially in the case of non-machine-macrame, well all macrame, once macrame gone, the remaining holes seemingly distort in prominence, deniability and boundary acuity.
2)greenie, hung-up,potplant-hugging.

(in reply to FriendlyMuppet)

Profile

Post #: 40