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What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 2:12:30 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline 		What does discipline mean to you? Does it have to include pain? Should pain always be an option, or one of the better ones?

This is less about S&M preferences and more about what discipline means to you, but please don't worry about what you think I'm asking. The way you answer individually is what the answer is.
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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 2:34:17 PM   
Whenready


Posts: 319
Joined: 3/5/2009
Status: offline 		It can and will obviously mean different things to all of us.

I'm guessing you don't mean self discipline, nor a subject (learning a discipline eg medicine) but rather disciplinary punishment. If you DO mean one of the others this will be irrelevant.

The worst disciplinary punishment I offer is to do absolutely nothing at all. I am told it hurts like hell.

(in reply to Karmastic)
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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 2:38:58 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		We don't really have a punishment dynamic. If something goes wrong we sit down and address it like adults. The one exception was when I was told to hold my temper (towards someone other than Master). When provoked, rather than remembering what Master had requested....I let the temper fly. It was painful and not an enjoyable event for either of us.

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 3:51:29 PM   
IrishMist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

What does discipline mean to you? Does it have to include pain? Should pain always be an option, or one of the better ones?

This is less about S&M preferences and more about what discipline means to you, but please don't worry about what you think I'm asking. The way you answer individually is what the answer is.

I used discipline to help teach my kids right from wrong. Other than that, it has no meaning what so ever.

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 3:56:59 PM   
MissImmortalPain


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A way of teaching or training that produces a specific pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.

No, it doesn't have to include pain, but I have seen that in many cases it is easier if it does.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to Karmastic)
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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 5:31:40 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline 		To me, when I think of the word "discipline" it always has the implied "self" in front of it. As a WAY secondary meaning is the "discipline a child" meaning. When I think of discipline in the context of my relationship, I think of it in terms of Carol's self-discipline through her obedience. If I had to discipline her like a child, she wouldn't be my wife.

Heh, accordingly... in my world, discipline typically comes with lots of internal pain *laughs*. It's one of those attributes like honor and strength that just plain suck.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 5:38:22 PM   
lizi


Posts: 4673
Joined: 2/1/2009
Status: offline 		We have no discipline, no punishment and no pain. I strive to make him happy and please him, he does the same.

What discipline means to me is that he'd be disappointed, therefore I strive mightily that it never happens as I'd be crushed if he were.

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 5:54:39 PM   
DesFIP


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From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Whenever someone says they're going to discipline someone else, it actually is a euphemism for corporal punishment. Nobody ever says "My kid spilled his milk and I disciplined him by handing him a sponge to clean it up".




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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 6:25:27 PM   
IrishMist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Whenever someone says they're going to discipline someone else, it actually is a euphemism for corporal punishment. Nobody ever says "My kid spilled his milk and I disciplined him by handing him a sponge to clean it up".




LOL

I got this picture in my mind of this happening and the child looking at the parent like they were crazy or something.

_____________________________

If I said something to offend you, please tell me what it was so that I can say it again later.


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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 6:32:11 PM   
Missokyst


Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline 		Going to go against the masses here and say I am ok with discipline. And no, it does not always mean pain. It strokes my submissiveness to the core unlike just talking to me and "reasoning". If I am told to stand in the corner for instance I immediately feel panic.., wetness and a desire to obey. I go from being lest I say it.. surly, to needing calm and what ever it takes to give that to me. I will admit to still being that inner kid who never got any sort of discipline no matter what I did, no matter what kind of danger I put myself into. I am still that kid who requires to be pulled in because otherwise I feel like no one cares. No discipline for me means I am not worthwhile.
And while I rarely require it because dang it.. I find it hard not to obey, sometimes I want to push the matter just to get some reassurance.

But.. I am not the norm. Most people are kinky because it is sexy. I am kinky because something twisted me along the way. There may be others out there who need the occasional lifeline. lol but really who likes to admit they are not always good?

_____________________________

pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding ~Gibran, Kahlil

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.”
― Bob Marley


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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 6:43:59 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		Discipline is an odd word to use when describing the inner workings of an adult relationship.
It seems to imply that there is expectation of intentional unruly behavior from the other partner.
We both commit to doing our best to make the relationship flourish, and the only pain that may
sometimes be experienced is the thought that we have been disappointing in some way.

“There is no person so severely punished, as those who subject themselves to the
whip of their own remorse.” Seneca

_____________________________

When the path ignites a soul, there’s no remaining in place.

(in reply to Karmastic)
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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 7:00:41 PM   
TNDommeK


Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Whenready

It can and will obviously mean different things to all of us.

I'm guessing you don't mean self discipline, nor a subject (learning a discipline eg medicine) but rather disciplinary punishment. If you DO mean one of the others this will be irrelevant.

The worst disciplinary punishment I offer is to do absolutely nothing at all. I am told it hurts like hell.



This^^

Not all the time but this is a great method to those attention brats.

_____________________________

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The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell


(in reply to Whenready)
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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 7:52:38 PM   
WestBaySlave


Posts: 501
Joined: 9/24/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

Whenever someone says they're going to discipline someone else, it actually is a euphemism for corporal punishment. Nobody ever says "My kid spilled his milk and I disciplined him by handing him a sponge to clean it up".



I'm not sure, I hear "disciplinary action" in a number of professional settings yet I doubt it means spanking the employee over the knee.

Maybe I've just worked at the wrong places?

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 8:35:25 PM   
littlekitten1


Posts: 160
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Missokyst

Going to go against the masses here and say I am ok with discipline. And no, it does not always mean pain. It strokes my submissiveness to the core unlike just talking to me and "reasoning". If I am told to stand in the corner for instance I immediately feel panic.., wetness and a desire to obey. I go from being lest I say it.. surly, to needing calm and what ever it takes to give that to me. I will admit to still being that inner kid who never got any sort of discipline no matter what I did, no matter what kind of danger I put myself into. I am still that kid who requires to be pulled in because otherwise I feel like no one cares. No discipline for me means I am not worthwhile.
And while I rarely require it because dang it.. I find it hard not to obey, sometimes I want to push the matter just to get some reassurance.

But.. I am not the norm. Most people are kinky because it is sexy. I am kinky because something twisted me along the way. There may be others out there who need the occasional lifeline. lol but really who likes to admit they are not always good?


Hehe.. This actually resonates with me a lot :p


Im sure most would call me immature and tell me to 'grow up' ... but you know. I don't find happiness in what people refer to 'growing up'. It would mean that a lot of my good sides would go bye-bye as well. I'm probably the kind of person who gets very childish at times and needs a figurative slap to calm down.

But to me, discipline isn't anything tangible. Some people have a natural desire to mold and steer others... And that can be achieved through many ways. Be it reasoning, punishment, pain, silence.... But it doesn't have to be depressive or painful. Not in my opinion. Unless the sub intentionally tried to hurt their dom... In which case I'd say the problem doesnt lie with the discipline, but rather the relationship itself.

To me, discipline is just a natural part of D/s ^^ And in some cases it's the dom helping the sub with their self-discipline, or just disciplining them... Even like a child. I don't see anything wrong with either way. Different people with different streaks. If it works, it works.


I probably don't know what I'm talking about though.. I don't have the most experience here. Just my opinion :)

(in reply to Missokyst)
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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 9:01:06 PM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		FR~

Whenever I hear the word 'discipline' I think of it in the self restraint sense, the self discipline. I guess because 'punishment' is never an element I've had in any relationship, we either work out issues together as adults, or we part ways. I'm not big on the idea that one party punishes the other because there is no other way for them to learn.

That is not to mean I don't LOVE 'fun-ishment' though, fake punishments as a bit of play acting to lead into some pain play or humiliation.

(in reply to littlekitten1)
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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 9:11:50 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise

Discipline is an odd word to use when describing the inner workings of an adult relationship.
It seems to imply that there is expectation of intentional unruly behavior from the other partner.
We both commit to doing our best to make the relationship flourish, and the only pain that may
sometimes be experienced is the thought that we have been disappointing in some way.


My sentiments exactly.

My relationship with my sweetie is not one of d/s. (OMG!!! The horror!) We have a pretty 'nilla basic thing, with s & m tossed in for foreplay. Spanking *yawn*, paddling, caning (yay!) and whatever evil implement he's made is used for our mutual enjoyment.

I suppose 'discipline' is what I employ to avoid screaming "get to the sjambok, you effing sadist!"
Moar pain, plznthx.

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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 10:39:28 PM   
trussed1


Posts: 2
Joined: 4/21/2012
Status: offline 		Hmmm, interesting , me personally spankings were fun discussion a bore the corner had to be the corner, quiet and ignored

(in reply to BurntKitty)
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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/21/2012 11:37:37 PM   
CastleRock32


Posts: 29
Joined: 10/2/2010
Status: offline 		*shrugs* Punishment is part of our dynamic.

Yes, I'm an adult. Yes, I still like having that be a part of the dynamic. No, I don't really mean funishment, though I'm sure some would *insist* it is funishment b/c I WANT it to be a part of the dynamic and it does make me wet (as do all demonstrations of her authority over me). For us, it works, and it doesn't mean I'm not an adult or that I am not expected to exercise self-discipline in life. But her punishment of me is a way that communicates both her love and her dominance clearly and in no uncertain terms. I like that.

(in reply to trussed1)
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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/22/2012 12:55:09 AM   
RaspberryLemon


Posts: 422
Joined: 7/18/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissImmortalPain
A way of teaching or training that produces a specific pattern of behavior, especially training that produces moral or mental improvement.
This fits pretty well with what came to mind for me.

So in other words, mostly when I hear "discipline," I am thinking of "self-discipline" or "mental discipline"--strongly adhering to a code of values or goals. Mental diligence towards some concept, if you will.

Given this definition, the relevance it has to me in my dynamic is this: Both my Master and I need to possess significant discipline--him, to be consistent with me and to be overall a person of integrity worthy of respect and leadership; and me to adhere to his rules and obey. "Discipline" also has relevance to our relationship in that he helps me to improve my self-discipline in certain areas where I have trouble--exercise, for instance. In some ways I hate exercising for its own sake and there is no way I'd be motivated enough to do it on my own. But he turns it into a requirement of me, and he does it with me, both of which motivate me to push myself to do my best and just do it. So he has in effect influenced my discipline in this area using his authority and support--for me that is all that's necessary in all areas I have trouble with.

If however, by "discipline" you mean "punishment," then I'd like to quote poise here:
quote:

ORIGINAL: poise
“There is no person so severely punished, as those who subject themselves to the
whip of their own remorse.” Seneca
It's not that he can't or wouldn't punish me if it were necessary, but it just simply isn't necessary for this reason. The feelings I inflict upon myself knowing I have failed my Master are more punishment than anything he could choose to inflict on me.


(in reply to MissImmortalPain)
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RE: What does discipline mean to you? - 4/22/2012 3:39:55 AM   
ClassAct2006


Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline 		If I'm submissive to someone I want to please him. If I do something wrong the solution is usually talking about it and perhaps his instructions were wrong etc.
Whilst being physically spanked etc is part of the dynamic because he chooses or it arouses him or it helps me feel submissive to him I would not like to be in a relationship where I was constantly made to be in the wrong and then physically punished for it as I would be constantly sad to have displeased. I want relationships to bring joy to both sides. That doesn't mean I don't accept the dominant man's authority over me of course.

(in reply to RaspberryLemon)
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