RE: Whats the difference

RE: Whats the difference (Full Version)

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Alecta -> RE: Whats the difference (4/23/2012 11:53:59 AM)
Kinky sex is physical only. D/s or M/s is a state of mind. When you give endless bjs on command in a M/s situation, you are not experiencing it as "giving endless bjs", you are experiencing it as "obeying Master". Which is why it feels so different when you're just asked to do it without an established M/s connection. Your resistance to certain things comes from your submissive side not being engaged. This is normal. Establish that connection and state of mind, and things will fall back in place. If the man you're with cannot step up to the plate, you may have to trade him in for a new one.

Karmastic -> RE: Whats the difference (4/23/2012 2:18:09 PM)
omfg lmfao at some of the answers and pics (BDSM chickens!). and good answers too, so i won't go there. re this: quote: Focus The girl had no idea what "better" is; that I revelled in her being all bound and helpless etc. Besides, I tend to think the woman's in charge when allowed to use her hands, and we can't have that.... ;) lol, well said. The pleasure is in deciding who and how the giving goes. Or put more crudely, it ain't about you doing things to me and sucking my dick. It's about me doing things to you, or deciding what I want you to do. Doing things to you with my dick (among other things), not having you do things to my dick.

Kaliko -> RE: Whats the difference (4/23/2012 5:39:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Karmastic omfg lmfao at some of the answers and pics (BDSM chickens!). and good answers too, so i won't go there. re this: quote: Focus The girl had no idea what "better" is; that I revelled in her being all bound and helpless etc. Besides, I tend to think the woman's in charge when allowed to use her hands, and we can't have that.... ;) lol, well said. The pleasure is in deciding who and how the giving goes. Or put more crudely, it ain't about you doing things to me and sucking my dick. It's about me doing things to you, or deciding what I want you to do. Doing things to you with my dick (among other things), not having you do things to my dick. I would be very sad if I could not do things to his dick.

FrostedFlake -> RE: Whats the difference (4/23/2012 6:42:16 PM)
Half an hour? Either you are way cool, or you are not doing it right. But to the question, kinky is when you bite. D/S is when he grabs your hair and says, "No teeth!".

Karmastic -> RE: Whats the difference (4/23/2012 6:53:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Kaliko quote: ORIGINAL: Karmastic omfg lmfao at some of the answers and pics (BDSM chickens!). and good answers too, so i won't go there. re this: quote: Focus The girl had no idea what "better" is; that I revelled in her being all bound and helpless etc. Besides, I tend to think the woman's in charge when allowed to use her hands, and we can't have that.... ;) lol, well said. The pleasure is in deciding who and how the giving goes. Or put more crudely, it ain't about you doing things to me and sucking my dick. It's about me doing things to you, or deciding what I want you to do. Doing things to you with my dick (among other things), not having you do things to my dick. I would be very sad if I could not do things to his dick. yeah, maybe i was too broad. of course she can do things to my dick, but as I direct. freestyle maybe during vanilla.

LadyHibiscus -> RE: Whats the difference (4/23/2012 6:56:47 PM)
You're capable of giving specific directions during those moments? I am impressed. Or sympathetic...not sure which![:D]

Karmastic -> RE: Whats the difference (4/23/2012 7:01:39 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus You're capable of giving specific directions during those moments? I am impressed. Or sympathetic...not sure which![:D] i'm not that big into receiving oral and don't lose my mind :) but it's not like i'm a director giving instructions during. i'm speaking generally here.

Englishcrumpet -> RE: Whats the difference (4/24/2012 5:33:16 AM)
that was a fun read! - [:)] - lol. chickens aside:) When you give endless bjs on command in a M/s situation, you are not experiencing it as "giving endless bjs", you are experiencing it as "obeying Master". Which is why it feels so different when you're just asked to do it without an established M/s connection. that sums it up, thanks. and the comments that kink is for a set time and Ms is a constant flow. he has said he wants my submission but wanting it and engendering it seem to be polarised. i agree that BJ's arent kinky - also being the sort of masso that gets pleasure from submitting to Masters wishes rather than the pain itself makes taking pain almost impossible, well, i can feel my temper bubble up and thats not a good sign at all! [&o] so no submission, no cigar - which is a shame because he's a nice guy. i think too, though i know this is my opinion and not everyones - but for me Ms isnt ALL about BDSM and kink, its the facilitator to BDSM and kink not the premis and i think in the end thats the poo in the chicken coop here. anyway, thanks for youre help, now to try and explain this to him - thats going to be fun

DommesLesEnigma -> RE: Whats the difference (4/24/2012 7:18:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Using a feather is kinky...using the whole chicken is perverted? lol Did you get that from a Xena Warrior Princess episode (In another context of course).

OsideGirl -> RE: Whats the difference (4/24/2012 7:22:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommesLesEnigma quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Using a feather is kinky...using the whole chicken is perverted? lol Did you get that from a Xena Warrior Princess episode (In another context of course). Nope that's been our joke forever.

GotSteel -> RE: Whats the difference (4/24/2012 12:20:54 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Englishcrumpet ... between kinky sex and BDSM and can someone explain to me why a kinky sex relationship feels different to Ds and/or Ms Could be nothing, some people might restrict their D/s or M/s to in the bedroom in which case we could be talking about vanilla relationship + kinky sex. Others have D/s or M/s as a relationship dynamic, they could even have a D/s or M/s relationship dynamic with vanilla sex. I suspect the issue is that you're having a hard time feeling submissive while being treated with equality and also that poops gross.

TNDommeK -> RE: Whats the difference (4/24/2012 12:37:37 PM)
BDSM chickens, hmmm where is Hilly? LOL. In answer to the OP, one is a kink, the other is a way of life. While we may not be walking around with leather and chains on all times of the day, it is still a part of our everyday lives. There is mental connection that is an important part of the lifestyle, that takes place in and out of the bedroom. On another note, I see Kana posted in this thread. Wonder where he has been?

fucktoyprincess -> RE: Whats the difference (4/24/2012 6:24:59 PM)
FR Not sure what is meant by "kinky" as I would not normally categorize a blow job (even endless blow jobs) as kinky, but simply oral sex (a vanilla act, at best). Just wanted to also add that while D/s is a mindset, and that explains why it would feel psychologically and emotionally different as an experience, D/s does NOT have to be 24/7. I am a bedroom only submissive/bottom - but the mindset is completely different from simply having "kinky" sex. Again, maybe my issue here is not understanding your use of the term "kinky". Maybe some people consider S&M just "kinky" - I guess it's not the term I would use for it. Okay, this is just descending into a definitional issue for me, so not sure really how to answer in a way that would be universally understood/applied...

GotSteel -> RE: Whats the difference (4/24/2012 6:47:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess Not sure what is meant by "kinky" as I would not normally categorize a blow job (even endless blow jobs) as kinky, but simply oral sex (a vanilla act, at best). Kinky is in the eye of the beholder, far too many Americans consider anything beyond the missionary position to be kinky.

RedMagic1 -> RE: Whats the difference (4/24/2012 6:50:48 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess blow job (even endless blow jobs) as kinky, but simply oral sex (a vanilla act, at best). Um, what is the level of lameness that is even worse than vanilla? Not that I have ever had bad sex myself, so I'm relying on you to guide me.[;)]

fucktoyprincess -> RE: Whats the difference (4/25/2012 7:58:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: GotSteel quote: ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess Not sure what is meant by "kinky" as I would not normally categorize a blow job (even endless blow jobs) as kinky, but simply oral sex (a vanilla act, at best). Kinky is in the eye of the beholder, far too many Americans consider anything beyond the missionary position to be kinky. I can understand that maybe 50-100 years ago that might have been true in America. But every vanilla person in their 20s and 30s who I know engage in things like oral sex, doggie-position, etc. And none of these people have any interest in BDSM. I don't think I know a single person (and I'm being honest here, not trying to be facetious) who thinks anything beyond missionary is kinky. I even have vanilla friends who engage in anal sex (gasp!) who have ZERO interest in BDSM. To me BDSM is not really about sexual acts but more about either mindset, S&M, or both. And you can engage in BDSM without even engaging in sex. Obviously I guess I have a different take on all of this. But my vanilla friends who routinely engage in oral sex would laugh at the notion that oral sex was "kinky". Their aging parents might think differently as they are a different generation. But people in the 20s and 30s?? Just having a tough time with this one. But fine, I concede that at the end of day, I guess we are each entitled to our own definition of "kinky", but seriously - if I were on a vanilla dating site and said I was into kinky sex and then told someone, "yeah, kinky sex, you know like oral sex" - I think I would be laughed off the site. I think is this day and age, "kinky" denotes something else in vanilla people's minds than just oral sex. Of course, I also don't live in the Bible Belt - so maybe my perspective is atypical for the rest of America. [sm=2cents.gif]

DommesLesEnigma -> RE: Whats the difference (4/25/2012 8:18:38 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Englishcrumpet that was a fun read! - [:)] - lol. chickens aside:) When you give endless bjs on command in a M/s situation, you are not experiencing it as "giving endless bjs", you are experiencing it as "obeying Master". Which is why it feels so different when you're just asked to do it without an established M/s connection. that sums it up, thanks. and the comments that kink is for a set time and Ms is a constant flow. he has said he wants my submission but wanting it and engendering it seem to be polarised. i agree that BJ's arent kinky - also being the sort of masso that gets pleasure from submitting to Masters wishes rather than the pain itself makes taking pain almost impossible, well, i can feel my temper bubble up and thats not a good sign at all! [&o] so no submission, no cigar - which is a shame because he's a nice guy. i think too, though i know this is my opinion and not everyones - but for me Ms isnt ALL about BDSM and kink, its the facilitator to BDSM and kink not the premis and i think in the end thats the poo in the chicken coop here. anyway, thanks for youre help, now to try and explain this to him - thats going to be fun Just a question but are you sure you are in the right type of relationship? I know that if I tried to be any kind of submissive it would not go off well?

kitkat105 -> RE: Whats the difference (4/25/2012 5:08:15 PM)
BDSM or M/s or D/s and kinky sex are not mutually exclusive.

ResidentSadist -> RE: Whats the difference (4/25/2012 9:53:06 PM)
"You know it's a good party when the police come." Perhaps the measure for kinky sex vs BDSM can be the same measure used for a good party? It crosses from kinky sex to BDSM when the acts become illegal and could potentially involve the police. For example: Slappin' that ass is kinky Flogging that ass with a whip is assault with a weapon Sticking your finger in that butt is kinky Ramming your cock up that ass is illegal sodomy . . . and etc.

Englishcrumpet -> RE: Whats the difference (4/26/2012 4:05:28 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: fucktoyprincess FR Not sure what is meant by "kinky" as I would not normally categorize a blow job (even endless blow jobs) as kinky, but simply oral sex (a vanilla act, at best). well in a way thats the issue - BJ's arent kinky, having youre nipples twisted hard isnt kinky, even rimming isnt - all of that is within the remit of vanilla sex IMO but being face fucked till you gag may not be within the remit of vanilla sex, having youre nipples twisted off the map the same, even endless bj's, if the giver isnt into giving endless bjs, it starts to enter into a more Ds arena because submission, rather than egalitarian choice is required to some extent. for someone who is basically Ms, my pleasure is in giving pleasure and satisfaction even if im not necessarily getting of on the activity myself. but without the Ms it feels more like vanilla kink because the willingness to 'suffer' for my M's pleasure isnt there and because i said 'no' to rimming which to me is egalitarian choice and not Ms. so.. after reading everything everyone has said im still wondering why it feels like vanilla kink and even, what vanilla kink is..! right now it feels like giving without submission: which aint workin' - so maybe, for me anyway, kinky sex means submitting to things that are pretty mainstream in general, but possibly not easily available with a vanilla partner, ie, they dont want to gag during a blowjob or have their nipples twisted to screaming pitch, ergo - find youreself a submissive - only for me, i can and will submit to gagging during a blow job and i have submitted to having my nipples twisted harder than hell, but in a BDSM, Ms relationship when my submission to him gave the discomfort a purpose and a goal i was focused on - anyway, today he called me a fake, so we're toast.

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