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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 7:47:18 AM

becca333

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What happens if you get a cramp? Are you allowed to have a safeword?

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 7:47:50 AM

NyxNymph

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My Man calls it "subbie meditation time" if I'm ever having a day when I'd like to be with Him and scene with Him but I can't find my stride and get into it being bound and left can let me quiet myself and try to hit that stride. I agree most with mnottertail on both points, it can be a pleasant swaddling feeling, and (for me at least) what better way to find your stride than to try and houdini your way out of them

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 7:48:21 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333
What happens if you get a cramp? Are you allowed to have a safeword?

Usually I shriek or cry out "cramp ow ow ow cramp ow ow" and start wriggling.

One of the reasons to do some stretching BEFORE you get into a long term bondage scene.

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 7:51:27 AM

becca333

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LOL I love your subtle safeword!

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 7:52:20 AM

sabswife

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i couldn't take it more than a few minutes.. probably 10 or 15 tops, it would do my head in and probably make me lose the security factor -- because when He tied me i would freak out and wonder how long i could potentionally be left for. as long as its not something that happens terribly often im okay with it.

at the same time being left for short periods can leave you in your own mind to anticipate what is to come, when They will return and what will happen when They do..

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 8:13:49 AM

pinkee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

In my never-ending quest for knowledge:

I've been reading up on aspects of BDSM that I haven't got round to trying yet. I've had great fun with some of the noisier, busier activities (sitting carefully at the moment - gotta love that cane!), but when I read about ropes and tying up, I have a few questions.

I read (on another site) about bondage activities, and the fun of being tied up. The person who posted was tied up in what sounded to me like a rather awkward position, and.... left there.

Um.... doesn't that get dull? I mean, being tied up or handcuffed while other delicious things are done to you - that's fun.

But what's the attraction about being tied up, or put in a cage, and just left there? It just sounds boring to me. So what am I missing?

miss, there's a difference between "light" bondage and "heavy" bondage, such as hog-tying. i would never do heavy bondage --- just not my thing -- and i would leave immediately any Man who left me alone while bound -- i find it unsafe.

pinkee

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 8:26:04 AM

NCSilverWolves

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I think it boils down to "Leaving". Does he leave the room... go get a drink... watches a tv show..... make a call. Or just makes you think he left the building by opening and closing the door. Like someone else said earlier in this thread (can't remember who).... she was blind folded.... earplugs.. doesn't know if actually left alone or not. But I totally agree with Owned... it's the mental concept of it all that is exciting.

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 8:32:42 AM

juliaoceania

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I only read half the thread but I can think of one reason it may be exciting to be just sitting there in ropes without being played with, because your dom is exercising control over you. He decides when you will be touched, when you will move, or how long you will stay in that condition. Now I am not "yet" a fan of bondage (I am willing to do that play experimentally), but I can see the erotic part of losing control. I do not have to be tied up to feel I have given up control over myself, but who knows, perhaps it will be sexy,...

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 8:34:17 AM

kittensmailbox

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Please allow me to clear something up so no one else will think of me "hyperbolistic" as LuckyAlbatross did....

When i said that a person in bondage should not be left alone, i meant alone in the house... not the room...

And yes i do think that things can get dull if always repeated... Not just in the life style but in life in general...

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 9:23:58 AM

Proprietrix

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Back when I was bottoming, I tried this a few times, and found it rather boring and a bit frustrating. (Maybe that was the intent?)
The one time that stands out in my mind was this...
I was suspended vertically via chains. One hand was extended over my head, the other secured beside my face.
In the hand beside my face, was placed a cigarette. I had enough leeway to put the cigarette in my mouth or take it out.
In the hand extended above my head was a lighter.
I was allowed to smoke the cigarette if I could put it in my mouth, drop the lighter into my lower hand, and light it.
But here's the thing... I was afraid to drop the lighter for fear of not being able to catch it with my other hand.
What a frusrating scene that was!

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 9:30:50 AM

pinkee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

Please allow me to clear something up so no one else will think of me "hyperbolistic" as LuckyAlbatross did....

When i said that a person in bondage should not be left alone, i meant alone in the house... not the room...

And yes i do think that things can get dull if always repeated... Not just in the life style but in life in general...

Remember...the "block" button is your friend.

pinkee

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 10:42:48 AM

MistressOfGa

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quote:

What happens if you get a cramp? Are you allowed to have a safeword?

Becca,
I have always allowed my subs to have a safeword. This is something that is discussed during the negotiation process. Of course each Dom is different and there are no set rules, only those that your Dom sets for you.

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 11:30:19 AM

MistressLorelei

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My former submissive was placed in a sleep sack, or in chain bondage often... and while he wasn't left 'alone', I would leave the room, and he would have no idea when I would be back... I would check on him silently, and also maintain a verbal/physical connection to ensure that he was in a good place physically and mentally. Often, there would be activities which he would not expect coming. Being left 'alone' in sub space for extended periods of time, was something that made him a stronger participant in our relationship as it provided fulfillment and focus for him. Personally, I would hate to be confined for any period of time, it's not everyone's thing, but when it is... it really is.

Any activity which lacks a hearty dose of common sense can be dangerous.

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 12:11:39 PM

ExistentialSteel

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Knife play and things like that don't turn me on. It is like flying in an airplane. You know you are not going to fall out of the sky as long as the trusted pilot stays sane. I know and she knows that I'm not going to cut her. Bondage is a fetish and I understand that perfectly because it has an element of realism in it. She cannot move and I can do what I want to her. That is real.

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 12:20:50 PM

BrattyBottomRN

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

NO ONE should ever be left alone while in bondage, NEVER EVER... that is huge red flag if it happens....

Ahhhhhh so true! One of the things about tying (especially something like Shibari) is that circulation has to be constantly monitored, and it's very easy to cause permanent nerve damage doing something like this! So kitten said it SO well!

Now if the "left hanging there" is while being monitored, one can drift into a beautiful headspace from a very intense shibari tie. It's incredible. Having that incredible feeling of being completely binded and just letting go is amazing. <sigh> But LuckyAlbatross was right too, if it's not for you then that's okay too.

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 12:32:23 PM

BitaTruble

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I don't find rope bondage boring at all, but then I can sit still in a dark room and meditate and be very happy with that as well. I like being by myself and am happy in my own company no matter what I'm doing. If Himself wants to put me into bondage and just leave me there while he goes and reads a book or gets a snack, I'll entertain myself with my mind or I'll doze, float.. or if he's given me something specific to reflect on, I'll do that as well. It's all good for me.

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 10:44:28 PM

CrappyDom

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People tend to think in terms of "me" when the think of kink like types of bondage.

One person left along while I deadhead my roses will remember it as a highpoint of a weekend, another it would bore to tears, and another would be tramatized by it.

Same goes for knifeplay, fisting, scaring, or tickling...the trick is in knowing who wants what and giving it to them in the safest way possible.

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 10:48:41 PM

Tikkiee

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quote:

ORIGINAL: kittensmailbox

NO ONE should ever be left alone while in bondage, NEVER EVER... that is huge red flag if it happens....

ditto

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 11:07:24 PM

xxmstrchasxx

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My sub loves bondage, I blindfold her and tie her up and leave her there but not for long but she doesn't know that. She has had a safe word since we first started playing years ago, she just never uses it.

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RE: Doesn't it get dull? - 6/5/2006 11:28:06 PM

Padriag

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quote:

ORIGINAL: becca333

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

It's up to everyone what risks you take, but I've been in cages for awhile alone, I've been in chains and left alone, I've put bottoms in manacles and left them alone.

I don't recommend leaving someone alone for a long time, and I don't recommend leaving them alone if they are being suspended or severly mummified...but as always there's a level of reasonability.

What do you do while you're there alone? Are you supposed to think about something, or do you go into some kind of subspace?

Situations of prolonged bondage which may or may not involve forms of sensory deprivation might be termed as forms of "fear play". The essential principle in most such situations is this... it plays on your fears; your fear of being helpless, fears of abandonment, fears of the dark, fears of being alone... all subconscious fears most people have to some degree. Obviously, someone with a serious fear of, say abandoment, would likely be traumatized and should probably not engage in such play or only limited forms of it (know your submissive/bottom).

Such play can also be a trust building exercise. Imagine being tied up and blind folded and then... so far as you know... left alone. After awhile you start to really panic, eventually you even begin to scream, cry, sob, plead, etc... your fear has gotten the better of you. And just at that moment when you think you are totally alone and abandoned, your dominant lifts off the blindfold and you discover he's been sitting quietly not five feet from you the entire time. If you'd held on to your trust that he wouldn't abandon you, you'd never have been afraid, but that kind of trust generally has to be learned.

As for leaving the submissive alone, there are some precautions to be taken. For example, you might use a baby monitor. With the prevalence of lap tops and web cams it would be simple to set up a cam to monitor the submissive while transmitting to a lap top in another part of the house.

I would not recommend leaving the premises however, but yes, with a little common sense precautions one can safely leave a bound submissive in a room alone with little risk.

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