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Manners - 4/24/2012 10:07:44 AM

Carl71

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When someone is good enough to write to you nicely have the decency to at least read it and thank them if nothing else.

It is so rude for people just to delete a message unread or not to reply.

So come on everyone show some manners to others here.

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 10:12:46 AM

stef

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carl71

When someone is good enough to write to you nicely have the decency to at least read it and thank them if nothing else.

It is so rude for people just to delete a message unread or not to reply.

So come on everyone show some manners to others here.

It's rude to try and force your expectations upon others.

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 10:21:07 AM

Lockit

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When someone is good enough to email me? ROFL... Good enough?

First of all, most that do not know me that write to me, are trying to get something from me. They come in many forms and some of the brighter one's are smooth talking... actually do talk and it isn't friendship they are seeking, although many claim that.

They want the kinky booty. That's it. It doesn't matter if I am nice or not, smart or not, interested or not... they have an agenda.

Why would I think them good enough or being good... give them credit, merit or anything else, simply because they decided to write me and try to play me? LOL

(Disclaimer: Not every email or emailer are trying to use me or someone. However, the majority... you know, those that email without reading about you and asking about you or those telling you what they seek or want you to do... yeah, them... they are the majority.)

No... I will not respond, thank them or in any way do anything I do not wish to do simply because some smuck decided to enter my little world. Call me rude... I've been called worse. I really don't care and wonder why they care so much. Getting dry out there and not finding a warm wet spot?

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 10:22:47 AM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carl71

When someone is good enough to write to you nicely have the decency to at least read it and thank them if nothing else.

It is so rude for people just to delete a message unread or not to reply.

So come on everyone show some manners to others here.

Do you respond to every email that Amazon sends you? Amazon checks your profile, crafts an email based on that profile, and sends something that is very politely written. Do you answer them all, and click through to every suggested link?

I understand this might be your first 24 hours on the Internet, Carl (meant in all seriousness), so I see no reason to put you down. But seriously, come on. Do you click on every web page ad from Google AdSense? They sent you that because they read your profile, too.

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 10:25:37 AM

JeffBC

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Really? So you think I am somehow obligated to write a response just because someone wrote me?

Here's a tip. I'm not particularly interested in obeying you.

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 10:31:48 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

It is so rude for people just to delete a message unread or not to reply.

They probably read the message by hovering and decided that you were not what they sought.

I see you are part of a couple in the UK. Do you write to women who have stated that they are not interested in couples or that they are seeking someone local when in fact you are not local to them? Do you refrain from writing to women who are seeking a different age range?

Kudos to you if you do honor boundaries established in people's profiles - my own experience and from what I've read here is that most men do not.

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 10:40:59 AM

Carl71

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Thank you for your reply.

I normally only post to people who match my criteria and that I match theirs. Occasionally I do post out of these if it is someone I think is worth contacting.

However it is the ones with matching criteria that generally don't reply or just delete without reading.

I agree that some people don't go by matches and contact anyone - that is extremely annoying but at least read their message and say 'thank you but not interested'.

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 10:45:00 AM

Endivius

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No response IS a response cupcake.

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 10:47:17 AM

kalikshama

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quote:

I agree that some people don't go by matches and contact anyone - that is extremely annoying but at least read their message and say 'thank you but not interested'.

Why should I be polite to a spammer?

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 10:47:20 AM

Lockit

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Because you feel that you would be a good match with someone, doesn't mean they would agree and that entitles you to anything from them.

Manners... without understanding, compassion, reason and much more that cannot be applied to all and in all situations, shouldn't be an expectation. Rules... there is always an exception to the rules... and I take exception regarding people who decide to make the rules or have expectations of me simply because they view something the way they do. They are not seeing my view very clearly... how rude!

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 10:53:43 AM

RedMagic1

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I have to go away from the computer for a while. When I return, I am confident Carl71 will have responded to everyone who wrote something on this thread. That's good manners, after all.

Unless of course, there's some reason not to respond to some things some people write.

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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 10:56:27 AM

Lockit

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ROFLMAO!

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 11:01:12 AM

TNDommeK

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Everything that was written above, is spot on.

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 11:01:22 AM

Anaxagoras

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Carl, this thread is probably going to become a major incident so for your own sake its best you close your account now... but not before you reply and thank me for that advice!

Seriously though I don't think there should be any onus to reply but I sort of agree that deleting messages unread could be seen as rude, unless it is from an from someone who was already told "no thank you" or from some other unwelcome source.

< Message edited by Anaxagoras -- 4/24/2012 11:17:56 AM >

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 11:03:43 AM

fucktoyprincess

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While I understand in the general sense that it would be polite to respond to e-mail, I think on the Internet, it is safe to conclude that a non-response is essentially a "no". Trust me, they have seen, and possibly even read your note. But they have also concluded that they are not interested (for whatever reason - and that is their prerogative).

And the problem with responding to every e-mail is that time, at the end of the day, is limited, and I would rather spend my time corresponding with those who seem more likely to be a match. If people who send e-mails really understood "no" means "no" it might make more sense for me to e-mail a no response, but that is rarely the case. When I send polite "thanks, but no thanks" type e-mails, people always try to convince me that I should at least correspond with them a little longer before reaching that conclusion. So my general approach to sites like this is to only respond to an e-mail if I really want the correspondence to continue. Otherwise, I end up exchanging multiple e-mails just to say "no" and that just seems a huge waste of everyone's time (not to mention much more rude in my mind to start questioning someone's decision - we are each entitled to make whatever decision we want here when an e-mail comes our way.)

Consider a non-response a very gentle "no", and simply move on...

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 11:16:21 AM

angelikaJ

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carl71

When someone is good enough to write to you nicely have the decency to at least read it and thank them if nothing else.

It is so rude for people just to delete a message unread or not to reply.

So come on everyone show some manners to others here.

Dear Carl,
I realise that it is frustrating when people do not meet your expectation of showing good manners by replying to your emails.

I think you are likely unaware of how it is for the women on CM who receive emails such as yours and so I thought it might be nice of me to try and explain.

On my first 24 hrs here in 2007, I had 4 pages of emails from different guys in my CM 'in-box'.
Just so you don't have to do the math, that is 80 emails.
For the first couple of weeks I averaged between 80-100 emails a day.

For the 18 months I was not hidden (and not un-coincidentally available), I never received less than 20.

Do you really think it a reasonable expectation for every woman with a burgeoning in-box to respond to each and every email she gets?
You probably do.

Let me provide you with some additional information: when a majority of men get the "Thanks, but no thanks." reply, they often become indignant and sometimes even hostile or verbally abusive.

So quite often experience has taught women on the other side (this is collarchat) that a reply just is not worth the trouble if they are not interested.
No one has a crystal ball that will determine yours will be different.

Welcome to CollarMe and best wishes in finding that which you seek.

aJ

P.S. A more inviting profile might get you better results in your unicorn hunt; and please carefully read the profiles before you send a note because many women have specific wants such as age and distance restrictions and poly might be a hard limit for them, as it is for many women.
Those messages will either be filtered automatically into their bulk folder or they will simply be ignored.

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 11:18:24 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carl71

When someone is good enough to write to you nicely have the decency to at least read it and thank them if nothing else.

It is so rude for people just to delete a message unread or not to reply.

So come on everyone show some manners to others here.

Bullshit.

When you receive junk mail in your physical mailbox at home do you get pen and paper out and send them a letter, thanking them for it?

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 11:20:51 AM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

I have to go away from the computer for a while. When I return, I am confident Carl71 will have responded to everyone who wrote something on this thread. That's good manners, after all.

Unless of course, there's some reason not to respond to some things some people write.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 11:37:54 AM

poise

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Carl71

I normally only post to people who match my criteria and that I match theirs.

If you'll pardon my curiousity, I'd like to know what your top 3 criteria are for what you
deem a good match, and what 3 qualities you possess that would make those you
make contact with see you as compatible?

All I can see in your profile is "We are looking for a female sub. She will do what she is
told willingly with no discussion or arguments."

I can't imagine that there are many no limit female slaves out there that are eager to join
an existing relationship, even if the email was polite. I think you'd improve your chances of getting
replies if you changed your profile from reading like a want ad on Craigslist to something that looks
more like an opportunity of a lifetime. Sell yourself!

< Message edited by poise -- 4/24/2012 11:39:00 AM >

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RE: Manners - 4/24/2012 11:40:01 AM

PeonForHer

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quote:

ORIGINAL: angelikaJ
I think you are likely unaware of how it is for the women on CM who receive emails such as yours and so I thought it might be nice of me to try and explain.

I think that's crucial, actually. Polite men here quite often have no idea what a lot of other men can be like when they make contact. I was that way myself, at one time. It was quite a revelation when I found out.

Carl, CM isn't the same as real life. In the latter, you act in a polite sort of way to a woman, she'll respond in kind. At CM, though, I'm afraid your message will very often just get lost in the vulgar noise.

A woman's Inbox here will all too frequently look like a wall covered with graffiti. Your comment could be of the level of a Shakespearean sonnet, but it might not stick out amongst all the 'I want to fuck you so hard!'s that the average woman here will get on her 'wall'.

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