RE: Are bi men the big turn off

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RE: Are bi men the big turn off - 4/26/2012 1:48:27 PM

Soyokaze

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissRubyRue

Personally I can never trust a switch or a bisexual man or woman,
one day they are one way, the next day they are another way
I feel you need to figure who and what you and feel comfortable with it before you enter into any type of relationship

Some people unwaveringly feel comfortable with either sex. I personally am repulsed by the vast majority of men, but there are a few I've been attracted to. This didn't diminish my attraction to females in any way. It's not that sometimes I like men and sometimes I like women it's that there are some men and some women I'm attracted to.

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RE: Are bi men the big turn off - 4/26/2012 1:59:08 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissRubyRue

Personally I can never trust a switch or a bisexual man or woman,
one day they are one way, the next day they are another way
I feel you need to figure who and what you and feel comfortable with it before you enter into any type of relationship

Your post confuses me. Bisexual or switch IS what they are and what they are comfortable being (at least one would hope they are comfortable with it!)

I've a very dear friend that, if she lived a few thousand miles closer, I would probably own her ass. To a degree, I already do.........which makes her not always happy. She is 100% switch and with most people, in most of her relationships, she is definitely dominant.

Technically, I am bisexual. In the BDSM context, and just about any relationship I can imagine beginning for the rest of my life, I am only interested in women. When I created my profile on this site I felt that way and now, years later, I still do. Therefore I checked the lesbian box. It makes my time on here a lot fucking easier.

Not everyone fits neatly into a nice tidy little box. Most of us that don't have no interest in doing so.

For some people, it is the dynamic with another person that 'inspires' a specific facet of who they are.

No one needs to 'figure out' or decide. We just are who we are. If you are not comfortable with a partner that is as multi-faceted certainly it is within your right to be specific and not be in a relationship with a switch or bisexual person. But just because it's not your cuppa does not make them wrong for being who they are.

I especially think it's bullshit for you to insinuate they are not trustworthy.

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Are bi men the big turn off - 4/26/2012 2:16:37 PM

Mupainurpleasure

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Joined: 4/12/2012
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Alecta

I've known of gay men and bi women being outcast, but never bi men.
Maybe it's just you.

nah bi men are far more stigmatized many gays think them closet cases, many heteros especially the bi ones who are conformists and threatened by them them gay. Many woman think them unmasculine and as was stated in the thread want them make up their mind. No, honestly I'd rather be straight or gay than flexible. Bi women are men's dreams fyi. Just watch the porn 2 woman one man is one of the big themes...2 men 1 woman and some sword fighting are not so much. the thing about masculoinity imo is the repressed men who won't consider acting because of societal pressure seem emasculated to me. I wonn't let others dictate who I sm and imo standing and being true to yourself even with consequences id a hell of a lot more masculine than the huge numbers who think about dick and tell no one and pretend they only like the vag

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RE: Are bi men the big turn off - 4/26/2012 2:23:50 PM

Mupainurpleasure

Posts: 393
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissRubyRue

Personally I can never trust a switch or a bisexual man or woman,
one day they are one way, the next day they are another way
I feel you need to figure who and what you and feel comfortable with it before you enter into any type of relationship

I'm bi everyday. it is wo I am not a switch but a blend. I find some men and some woman attractive. If I am attracted to someone of a particular sex thay wont change based on sex. Maybe if she or he were a cheater it might. I am loyal and have never cheated on anyone. Howmany can say that? I'm bi it doesnt mean unable to commit. You speak to infidelity and an inability to commit which are not related to bisexuality but instead to how principle someone is. You also are buying into societies rigid classifications of sexuality which are not natural but constructs and probably the reason half the people in therapy are their. just look at the guys chasing transgenders claiming they are straight becasuse its a penis on a woman

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RE: Are bi men the big turn off - 4/26/2012 5:29:47 PM

Baroana

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In fairness to the OP, the problem does seem to exist. How widespread it is, I do not know.

I have been burned by a few experiences with bi men, and as a result I generally choose to stay away from them.

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RE: Are bi men the big turn off - 4/26/2012 6:11:49 PM

MistressDarkArt

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All things being equal, I would love to have a 'reluctantly bi-flexible' male partner. One who genuinely doesn't enjoy doing what I direct him to with another male, but is willing because I find it enjoyable.

Alas, all things are never equal and it always comes down to 'do I like this person and can our needs/preferences overlap enough to make something significant together?' Labels are too limiting.

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RE: Are bi men the big turn off - 4/26/2012 6:16:54 PM

PeonForHer

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FR

I've had the occasional gristle-gobbling fantasy involving other men, but it's never bothered ex-girlfriends of mine. In fact, from what I can remember, they've had some happy rubbings whilst fantasising about my sausage-slurping some man of their choice.

I hope that helps.

Actually, thinking about it, I don't. I don't really care, to be honest.

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RE: Are bi men the big turn off - 4/26/2012 8:06:26 PM

LittleMsMary

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Joined: 3/24/2012
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To echo what a few other have said, the idea itself isn't necessarily a stopping point for me, but it would depend greatly on the person. I've known some bi men (and women) who were flaky as hell. That doesn't mean that they were flaky BECAUSE they were bi, it's entirely possible that those two factors just happened to exist in the same person but were totally unrelated. But I would tend to at least look a little closer at how committed they were to a relationship since I have zero tolerance for cheating or any behind the back activity regardless of gender/orientation etc.

Finally, as at least one person mentioned...and maybe this is just my personal thing and wouldn't apply to anybody else...but I never like seeing people describe themselves as "useless". Honestly it makes me sad, and you seem like a nice guy. Don't sell yourself short.

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RE: Are bi men the big turn off - 4/26/2012 8:19:31 PM

RedMagic1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LittleMsMary
Finally, as at least one person mentioned...and maybe this is just my personal thing and wouldn't apply to anybody else...but I never like seeing people describe themselves as "useless". Honestly it makes me sad, and you seem like a nice guy. Don't sell yourself short.

It's not just you; I've heard this time and time again from switch and dom women -- and even in vanilla. A bi friend of mine was talking to me about why she wanted to date women after mostly being with men. She said, "Honestly, dating a man is like adopting a child, and I already have two."

Even sub women want a man who will add to their lives, not add more burden to it. A man who is useful, in other words. The OP, with his current screen name, is condemning himself to domination by the hour, instead of a chance at a deeper relationship.

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RE: Are bi men the big turn off - 4/26/2012 9:33:04 PM

MistressDarkArt

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
The OP, with his current screen name, is condemning himself to domination by the hour, instead of a chance at a deeper relationship.

^^This^^ makes you sound like this. In his case he calls himself 'worthless male.'

OP, you do seem like a nice guy. Start over with a new profile name and see if that gets you where you want to go.

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RE: Are bi men the big turn off - 4/29/2012 11:04:18 AM

MariaB

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My husband is dominantly bi, my ex was submissively bi. Looks like I like bi guys!!
I would quite happily tell my friends that I'm bi but Steve is a lot more cautious about who knows about him. Unfortunately people are harsher and more judgmental on bi guys than they are on bi women.

Oh and Ruby Rue, you are very new to all of this aren't you! I hope your journey is a great learning curve and that a few years down the line you won't cringe too much at what you wrote.

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RE: Are bi men the big turn off - 5/1/2012 5:40:25 AM

DeathinRevelry

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Joined: 1/26/2009
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Bi isn't a turn-off for me; in fact, it's preferred. I have a kink for man-on-man, but I really, really don't like the idea of 'forced/coerced bi', so anytime I hear bi in a prospective's letter, I perk right up. But that doesn't guarantee anything. Remember, this is like finding anyone - you've gotta click everywhere, unless you're looking for a strict play partner, so be prepared to approach a lot of people and get turned down or just not click with a lot.

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