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RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/26/2012 2:35:11 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LanceHughes

I have never called myself "Master," much less "true" nor "real."

People who know me have formed their OWN opinions of me.  I think that cuts to the root of the matter.  As you say "hubris."  And I share concerns over newbies going along with those types.

Sorry to say that now-a-days ANYone can say "I am a Master."




QFT.

To the OP... yep, share your frustration. Whenever I see "true" used, I'm tempted to ask "which 'true' are you talking about?"


_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to LanceHughes)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/26/2012 3:02:49 AM   
areallivehuman


Posts: 277
Joined: 1/16/2010
Status: offline 		Bob Dylan says;

The kingdoms of Experience
In the precious wind they rot
While paupers change possessions
Each one wishing for what the other has got
And the princess and the prince
Discuss what's real and what is not
It doesn't matter inside the Gates of Eden.

(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/26/2012 3:12:36 AM   
Englishcrumpet


Posts: 43
Joined: 2/28/2012
Status: offline
Exactly how is it that the writer's of such comments expectations gets to define the validity of how someone wishes to identify themselves?
 
good question.  one persons fake is another persons ideal.

a person has an ideal, or at least an idea of what a Master or a sub should be and how they should respond to them, failing to factor in that theyre needs and requirements dont necessarily compare - then you get the whole, 'fake, fantasist, wannabe' BS flying, instead of, 'ok, we're not compatible' which is the crux of it.

to my way of thinking it has an awful lot to do with an immature (experience-wise) concept of what a caricature sub or slave, Master or Dom must be in order to qualify and if theyre not those things theyre fake.

its tempting to say that because a person doesnt have a basic understanding of Ms (for instance) but aspires to be Ms that theyre a wannabe - but i would say that theyre aspiration is real enough for them and what they need to do is find someone who fits theyre aspirations.

it is really irksome to be called a fantasist or a player because you dont qualify within a persons remit of what a sub or slave, Master or Dom ought to be.

when that shit starts getting slung you know for sure youre swiming with the wrong fish (for you)


(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/26/2012 3:28:02 AM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AurumCaminus

I keep seeing in many of the profiles here stuff like, I'm only interested in a REAL Dom, or True slaves only, or I want a Master not any of you wannabes.

Is it just me or are there others who find the hubris of such comments quite the turn off?

I tend to not take comments like this very seriously as I feel they are very judgmental. One person's fake is another person's perfect partner. I think fake and wannabe are terms that are usually used by someone who doesn't get what they want immediately from the other person before establishing a consensual dynamic.

I know that I am very real and, if someone else doesn't think so, then that's their problem not mine. I'm not going to waste my time worrying about what some judgmental ass says about me. I have my own standards that I live by in both my kink life and my vanilla life and try not to give any reason for judgment but, regardless, someone always will. It's none of my business what other people think of me.
quote:

ORIGINAL: AurumCaminus
What saddens me most is that often those are the types that get suckered in by the real predators. Unreasonable expectations typically only result in getting lied to.

I used to be in a D/D relationship. For the record, I found out in a very horrible way that he is a sexual predator and that's why he's my EX and is going to stay that way. I have NO time for that bullshit.

NBMG

< Message edited by NiceButMeanGirl -- 4/26/2012 3:29:24 AM >

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to AurumCaminus)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/26/2012 3:53:55 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AurumCaminus
I keep seeing in many of the profiles here stuff like, I'm only interested in a REAL Dom, or True slaves only, or I want a Master not any of you wannabes.

Is it just me or are there others who find the hubris of such comments quite the turn off?

Exactly how is it that the writer's of such comments expectations gets to define the validity of how someone wishes to identify themselves?

Everyone has different needs and values, and its actually rare for two people's needs to match.

However I usually find that the authenticity of how someone defines themselves tends to be more of a function of what they expect of themselves then what they want of others.

But what do I know, obviously I'm just another of those wannabe losers.

You're taking profile text too seriously. Most women have no idea what they are talking about when they write their own profiles. Or the profile text was written 1,000 emails and 2 realtime meets ago, and their expectations and level of self-understanding have changed. If you start from the premise that most women (and men) are not good at articulating what they really want out of this site, but they want something enjoyable with someone charismatic and responsible, you will get less bent out of shape about irrelevant stuff.

For example, suppose a woman has the words "true dom" or "no fakes" on her profile, and also a literature or poetry quote I don't know, but I think she's interesting (or hot). I might write her and say, "I am deeply deeply ashamed to admit that I am a Fake and Wannabe Poetry Appreciator(tm) because I had to Google your quote. But I read the full poem when I found it online, so I learned something today, thank you. Why is it important to you? Is it related to something special in your life?"

95%+ response rate to first emails like that.

Don't be distracted by things that don't matter.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to AurumCaminus)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/26/2012 4:11:46 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Actually.... Nope.

The deal is that My standards for Myself are far higher than at least 99% of the other folks on this site to determine whether I'm a "real" Dominant or not.  I don't care where other people set the bar.  I know where I set it.  That's all I need to know.

I might feel differently if My bar was not quite as high as that of other people's.



What the lovely lady in purple wrote.


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/26/2012 9:08:38 AM   
AurumCaminus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/30/2008
From: Cleveland, OH
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

You're taking profile text too seriously. Most women have no idea what they are talking about when they write their own profiles. Or the profile text was written 1,000 emails and 2 realtime meets ago, and their expectations and level of self-understanding have changed. If you start from the premise that most women (and men) are not good at articulating what they really want out of this site, but they want something enjoyable with someone charismatic and responsible, you will get less bent out of shape about irrelevant stuff.

For example, suppose a woman has the words "true dom" or "no fakes" on her profile, and also a literature or poetry quote I don't know, but I think she's interesting (or hot). I might write her and say, "I am deeply deeply ashamed to admit that I am a Fake and Wannabe Poetry Appreciator(tm) because I had to Google your quote. But I read the full poem when I found it online, so I learned something today, thank you. Why is it important to you? Is it related to something special in your life?"

95%+ response rate to first emails like that.

Don't be distracted by things that don't matter.


Naturally there are degrees, and obviously there is a difference between a profile that could have been worded better and one that spews hostility and contempt.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/26/2012 9:36:59 AM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1
Don't be distracted by things that don't matter.

... unless, of course, they DO matter to you.

For me, it's an automatic "no" because I don't require any particular orientation or sexual kink in my partner. But what I do require is a fairly strong degree of both empathy and self awareness. So for me, it remains a red flag simply because it's solid evidence that she's not a match for me.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/26/2012 9:47:37 AM   
DominicsJoy


Posts: 53
Joined: 8/28/2004
Status: offline 		Truth is fluid. In past eras everyone knew it was true that the world was flat.

A true Master or Submissive depends upon your individual needs/ wants/ desires. When two people do happen to find each other and can compliment each other as both sides of a coin- it is magical. That does not mean that the same magic would go for others with one of those individuals. Just as we are all unique, I firmly believe that there are unique people out there to fill our needs. Your true Master or submissive will need to work for you, not be what the world recognizes as a 'perfect example'. (Sidenote, I don't believe anyone is a perfect example of anything....)

If you truly want to find someone 'real', get out there and start meeting people face to face. Internet is okay, but it cannot show you body language. It cannot duplicate chemistry or give you an idea if the person sending you a photo of a svelt 30 year old is really 85 and a bored Somalian who wants to see who will bite.

Best of luck in your quest.

Master's girl- joy

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/26/2012 6:52:11 PM   
LookieNoNookie


Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AurumCaminus

I keep seeing in many of the profiles here stuff like, I'm only interested in a REAL Dom, or True slaves only, or I want a Master not any of you wannabes.

Is it just me or are there others who find the hubris of such comments quite the turn off?

Exactly how is it that the writer's of such comments expectations gets to define the validity of how someone wishes to identify themselves?

Everyone has different needs and values, and its actually rare for two people's needs to match.

However I usually find that the authenticity of how someone defines themselves tends to be more of a function of what they expect of themselves then what they want of others.

But what do I know, obviously I'm just another of those wannabe losers.


Quite.

Indeed.

Plethora.

(Other big words).

(in reply to AurumCaminus)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/26/2012 7:45:11 PM   
AurumCaminus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/30/2008
From: Cleveland, OH
Status: offline
quote:



a fairly strong degree of both empathy and self awareness.



Sadly those two traits tend to be in short supply individually, let alone together.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/27/2012 9:35:43 AM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AurumCaminus

I keep seeing in many of the profiles here stuff like, I'm only interested in a REAL Dom, or True slaves only, or I want a Master not any of you wannabes.

Is it just me or are there others who find the hubris of such comments quite the turn off?



I think there are a lot of Doms here that would say that any sub who is specifying what they want from a Dom is not a "real" sub. I find the whole "real" thing a bunch of nonsense.

Personally... I think that as soon as the "real" or "True" crap comes out, you are dealing with someone with ego problems who is going to be no fun at all.

< Message edited by Bhruic -- 4/27/2012 9:39:46 AM >

(in reply to AurumCaminus)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/27/2012 9:42:53 AM   
chatterbox24


Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline 		Hard to find loyal. Im not talking faithful, I am talking loyal. ALot of people say alot of things but few mean them. Long term interest seems to be pretty rare, as is honesty.

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/27/2012 9:46:28 AM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic
Personally... I think that as soon as the "real" or "True" crap comes out, you are dealing with someone with ego problems who is going to be no fun at all.


Not necessarily. I think a good chunk of those people just lack experience. Their views come from porn and places like Castlerealm, but since they've never had a real time, long term relationship they don't understand that reality happens.


_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Bhruic)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/27/2012 9:49:31 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Here is the bottom line on the real vs. fake debate.

If someone writes you and you ask them a question they do not like or you reject them, then you are fake.

Happens all the time and it will never change, simply because people are too invested in their own fantasies to understand that the man or woman on the other end of the profile/email is actually a human with their own perspective and opinions.

If I had a dollar for every man who wrote me and then told me I must not be a true or real sub, I would have enough money to buy another designer handbag.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 4/27/2012 9:50:02 AM >

(in reply to chatterbox24)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/27/2012 1:36:30 PM   
Bhruic


Posts: 985
Joined: 4/11/2012
From: Toronto, Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Bhruic
Personally... I think that as soon as the "real" or "True" crap comes out, you are dealing with someone with ego problems who is going to be no fun at all.


Not necessarily. I think a good chunk of those people just lack experience. Their views come from porn and places like Castlerealm, but since they've never had a real time, long term relationship they don't understand that reality happens.



Ya think? It just seems to me that when these words get wheeled out, it's usually with a tone of bravado and/or arrogance... not what I would expect from the inexperienced. Well... they may be inexperienced, but I'm guessing, a bit fallaciously egoistic as well.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/27/2012 5:03:02 PM   
sirfox27


Posts: 22
Joined: 3/26/2012
Status: offline 		yeah, it turns me off. The one that says looking for a master. Some have be able to move me to you. I think they have this idea where a master is a guy that gives them free room and board for sex a few times a week.

(in reply to AurumCaminus)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/27/2012 9:49:53 PM   
FrostedFlake


Posts: 3084
Joined: 3/4/2009
From: Centralia, Washington
Status: offline
quote:

Is it just me or are there others who find the hubris of such comments quite the turn off?

SNAP!

_____________________________

Frosted Flake
simul justus et peccator
Einen Liebhaber, und halten Sie die Schraube

"... evil (and hilarious) !!" Hlen5

(in reply to Alecta)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/27/2012 10:05:13 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		According to some postings we've just seen today, only leather Doms are true Doms.

You heard it here first, folks.

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to AurumCaminus)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Looking for a "True" ....... - 4/27/2012 10:40:08 PM   
AurumCaminus


Posts: 50
Joined: 10/30/2008
From: Cleveland, OH
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

According to some postings we've just seen today, only leather Doms are true Doms.

You heard it here first, folks.


And I suppose that it can only be BLACK leather too.

Any other color on your leather is heretical.

Quick, call the Spanish Inquisition!

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 40
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