RE: Looking for a "True" .......

RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (Full Version)

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petitverdot -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/28/2012 1:52:34 AM)
Basically it's pointless for people to say they want a REAL DOM or a REAL SLAVE.....it is all open for interpretation.....I have found that most men on this (and other) sites don't suit me, that doesnt mean that they are less dominant, it just means that they don't suit ME. Everyone had their own idea of what they are looking for and it's just a matter of finding someone else who we click with. I'm not sure I agree that it's 'rare' to find another with the same 'needs' (mind you, I'm a woman and women outnumber the men tenfold)..it's a matter of being open minded and willing to to not be rigid in one's ways.

Buzzzz -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/28/2012 4:15:39 AM)
There is no such thing as a "true anything". Just someone you click with or not. Chat a little , see how it goes , make some friends and if it doesn't workout, move on. I don't have a problem saying I am dominant to the right person. I am not the type to brag about things or walk around with a leather vest with badges everywhere, a flogger on one side , a whip on the other. If a submissive is interested in that , she is probably not my type anyway.. It makes things simpler and weed out the bad. I also think people ( like on okcupid , or other dating websites) fill out the profile to get the most responses (cast a bigger net) instead of being honest about who they are and only getting a few emails ( but most likely better ones). By filling out very "pleasing profiles" people will generally have more b/s emails and thus more "you aren't a true this or that" and "I am a true this or that" kinda post. Just my 2 cents

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/28/2012 4:29:58 AM)
Using FR, so not replying to anyone in particular. Putting aside this boards long term bias of the terms "real" and "true", I think when the less than experienced use these terms they do have meaning, for them. Sure, that meaning my vary, but frankly I can't imagine what it must be like to be a person with little experience with BDSM faced with all the many choices out there on the net and forced to decide for themselves what is real and true. What with all the players, predators, scammers, wannabes, and just plain confused individuals who don't know what they want, it has to be quite the quagmire. So although I see using these phrases as a sign of confusion and inexperience, I try to understand where it comes from.

Whiplashsmile4 -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/28/2012 11:04:46 AM)
I think too many people work too hard at the mental persona's of these titles vs. simply being themselves...and this is what gets people into trouble.

JeffBC -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/28/2012 11:09:58 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Buzzzz I also think people ( like on okcupid , or other dating websites) fill out the profile to get the most responses (cast a bigger net) instead of being honest about who they are and only getting a few emails ( but most likely better ones). That is the one aspect of "true-ness" that I can get behind. Who knows if I'm a true dom or true master or whatever? But I am a "true Jeff" and I try to portray myself and my marriage as accurately as I can given the limitations of text. I wouldn't call someone who doesn't do that a "fake". I'd call them a liar.

AurumCaminus -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/28/2012 11:25:17 AM)
Being true to oneself is always the best policy. And in different forms that's been said from the Oracle of Delphi, to Shakespeare, hell to Mr. Miagi (Never put passion above principle, even if win... you lose.) Too bad so few actually take it to heart.

Whenready -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/29/2012 2:27:04 AM)
I can see where someone might post "true Doms only please" in frustration after receiving the 50th (or 500th) scam mail. My sense of mischief also leads me to: aurum caminus = latin for hearth of gold - leads to (in MY mind) gold = the real deal = not fake = true.... make of that (non)sense what you will. Be happy.

Buzzzz -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/29/2012 4:43:18 AM)
If you have a problem with scam emails, reduce your email settings to "local only". I believe you can also chose the distance from your zip code. All fixed, and no more drama/ less fakes.

Whenready -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/29/2012 6:29:29 AM)
Thanks Buzzz. Already done: I don't myself have that problem, but I gather it's rife, and that's one reason I can see someone posting, in effect, "fed up of this...."

AurumCaminus -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/29/2012 3:00:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Whenready I can see where someone might post "true Doms only please" in frustration after receiving the 50th (or 500th) scam mail. My sense of mischief also leads me to: aurum caminus = latin for hearth of gold - leads to (in MY mind) gold = the real deal = not fake = true.... make of that (non)sense what you will. Be happy. Lol, of course caminus is a Forge fire, not a hearth fire. So a little more accurate would be Goldsmith, or Goldmaker. But that comes more from my interest in Alchemy. ;-)

fetisheden -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/29/2012 3:05:27 PM)
any sort of negativity is a turn off.

Karmastic -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/29/2012 3:11:01 PM)
NO it isn't! [&:]

PeonForHer -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/29/2012 3:45:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DominicsJoy Truth is fluid. In past eras everyone knew it was true that the world was flat. Apparently, they didn't. That was made up by a pisspoor 'historian' called Andrew White in the early 20th century. Just saying. However, I think you're correct to say that 'truth is fluid'. The problem is that it's not very comforting to believe that. For many people, it's profoundly disturbing to discover that they are perverts. They feel the need to re-stabilise themselves by cooking up a bunch of beliefs that what they are is perfectly OK, normal and morally acceptable. They will therefore leap for words like 'true' and 'natural' at every possible opportunity, because they're too stupid and/or lack the bollocks to work their way through to being the individuals that their souls are forcing them to be.

OsideGirl -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/29/2012 4:52:26 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: petitverdot (mind you, I'm a woman and women outnumber the men tenfold). Generally, it's the other way around. Men far outnumber the women, although I've heard that some areas in realtime it's the opposite.

AurumCaminus -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/29/2012 8:56:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: petitverdot (mind you, I'm a woman and women outnumber the men tenfold). Generally, it's the other way around. Men far outnumber the women, although I've heard that some areas in realtime it's the opposite. To which 5,000 guys say, "And exactly where are these real life place?"

subbyinlosangele -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/29/2012 9:03:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl quote: ORIGINAL: petitverdot (mind you, I'm a woman and women outnumber the men tenfold). Generally, it's the other way around. Men far outnumber the women, although I've heard that some areas in realtime it's the opposite. My view on that: I don't care if there are 5 men to every woman or whatever the overall stats are. If I worried about the odds of the overall stats, I wouldn't have attemtped or accomplished most of the significant things I have done in my life. There is only one me. Any domme I choose to be with is lucky tp get me. And any domme I want to be with I am lucky to get.

LadyPact -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/29/2012 11:43:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AurumCaminus quote: ORIGINAL: OsideGirl Generally, it's the other way around. Men far outnumber the women, although I've heard that some areas in realtime it's the opposite. To which 5,000 guys say, "And exactly where are these real life place?" Ah, but the real question is, do those 5,000 guys really know the breakdown in gender/orientation/relationship status of others at their local BDSM munch group? Frankly, most don't. In larger cities, it can take a while to get used to who is who, etc. I've been everything from the only female Dominant in the room (all of the other females were switches or subs) to being one of hundreds at a major event. Many guys wouldn't know the same kind of stats if it would cost them their left nut.

AurumCaminus -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/29/2012 11:56:07 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Ah, but the real question is, do those 5,000 guys really know the breakdown in gender/orientation/relationship status of others at their local BDSM munch group? Frankly, most don't. In larger cities, it can take a while to get used to who is who, etc. I've been everything from the only female Dominant in the room (all of the other females were switches or subs) to being one of hundreds at a major event. Many guys wouldn't know the same kind of stats if it would cost them their left nut. shrug Doesn't really matter, they'd still come. Of course, I've heard of a few groups like that here. But they accomplish it by having a strict, "Single males unwelcome," policy.

LadyPact -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/30/2012 1:58:51 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: AurumCaminus shrug Doesn't really matter, they'd still come. Of course, I've heard of a few groups like that here. But they accomplish it by having a strict, "Single males unwelcome," policy. Are you looking at swingers groups or BDSM munches? Swingers groups, I'd agree with you. BDSM groups, not so much. Some of that can depend on your topping skills. If you are the only guy who is doing rope suspensions, electrical play, fire, or some other specific type of play that nobody is doing in the area, there are going to be people who are more than happy that you've shown up. Considering the location you are listing as your city, I'm sure there are a number of groups in the area. I'd find it hard to believe that all of them are turning single guys away at the door.

AurumCaminus -> RE: Looking for a "True" ....... (4/30/2012 2:30:57 AM)
Of course there are. But the only ones that I have even heard of that have a significantly higher female/male ratio do have that policy.

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