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Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 4/26/2012 2:33:21 PM   
Furryboy


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Hello!

On the front of this room it says "share your experiances", so I thought I'd share something I wrote recently that might be of interest to people. Enjoy!


I've been learning more about my relationship to BDSM, what I want from it and what I’m getting from it. This weekend I attended a workshop where we set intentions then created a ritual play space to let the magic happen. One of the themes that came up was surrender, and that was certainly on my mind a lot throughout the process.

At the beginning of last year I spent a month at an Ayahuasca centre in Peru. For those who’ve never heard of Ayahuasca, it’s a vine that is made into a drink by the Shamans which is then drunk in ceremonies to give visions and healing. The ceremonies last several hours, starting when it gets dark and continuing till the wee hours, and generally will involve “purging”, usually by throwing up. People were warning me that Ayahuasca ceremonies are often very intense, and indeed they are. In fact that was the reason I was going.

Ayahuasca will take you as far as you can go then push you to go that little bit further. One of the ways you can ensure you’ll have a bad time during a ceremony is by resisting. The experience can be scary, but trying to hold it back and fight it will just make it so much worse. It’s only by letting go and surrendering to the experience that you will receive the gifts it brings.

I’m recently starting to understand the true power of this space of surrender in itself. This is a space of deep transformation, a space where magic happens. The question we can ask is, what are we surrendering to? When I go into that space I feel all the preconceptions, all the structures I’ve built up and all the things I’ve put in place that sabotage me fall away. The person I’m submitting to gives me permission to let go of all these things, holds me while I drop all that I hold myself with. This is where I can connect to my deeper self, my Will, whatever you want to call it, what I am before the layers of doubt and worry start holding me back. It's scary and some people can't (or don't want to) take it, but it can also be deeply rewarding.

It doesn’t matter if I get to there through shamanic ceremonies or by being bound, beaten and fucked, it’s all the same in the end.
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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 4/28/2012 9:37:10 AM   
DesFIP


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I find it interesting that you ask what you are surrendering to.

Because for me, it's entirely based on the person. I surrender to him, not to anything else. It isn't my deeper will, it's his. My worries, self doubts, etc are all still there but he guides me through them.

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 4/28/2012 9:47:53 AM   
Furryboy


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i'm just trying to communicate my own experiance here. In my experiance surrendering to another allows me to also surrender these parts of myself, and to allow my true self to come through.

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 4/28/2012 10:12:46 AM   
DesFIP


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I understand that. But I also believe that my true self includes all those less desirable parts like doubt and worry. This is who I am, warts and all. I'm not just me when I'm all dressed up, I'm also me when my hair needs washing. All of these things make up the authentic me.

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 6/12/2012 3:09:29 PM   
these7lives


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Speaking to the Aya experience...I have found that if I surrender to the reality of the situation, the rest falls into place.

This lesson was made clear on my first Ayahuasca journey, but I missed the true message: On my first ceremony, I ended up "there", and I sort of "snapped" into this other realm (trust me, if you haven't done it...there just aren't words to describe this), and while I was blown away at the intensity - it was just TOO MUCH - I sort of forgot to fight it (a sure way to have a bad experience is to fight it, like he said). I was probably exhausted from fighting it....and as I surrendered to it, I saw that it was real. I remember saying aloud "where am I?" Interestingly in subsequent journeys, I remember asking "who am I?, and so forth.

While all this might sound crazy, those who know are aware that these are very important questions that can - and should - be asked. By asking them, we sort of unfold the mysteries of who and what we are submitting to.

And as far as Ayahuasca goes, not only can I not believe we are all just sitting around (myself included) while people without an idea are making plants illegal, I can't believe that anyone would not want to have the insight, knowledge, and healing that Ayahuasca IS.

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 6/12/2012 10:58:46 PM   
Aim2Plea


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I have been fortunate enough to have the aya experience as well. It was intense. It was amazing. Incredibly spiritual. I look forward to the next time I can have a journey. Just... not anytime soon. I still feel the effects from the last journey. I would prefer to enjoy them as long as possible before that journey finally ends and I choose to move to another.

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 6/13/2012 6:17:51 AM   
Lockit


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So basically, you are comparing bdsm to the healing and enlightenment of a basic acid trip?

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 6/13/2012 7:07:16 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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If you consider that endorphins are essentially natural heroin...i can soert of match the 'trippy' aspect.

Otherwise, the hallucinogenic aya experience, or peyote, or ebene, not the same, for ever so many reasons. Follow your bliss, dude, but for many/most of us a heavy bdsm scene is about synergy, not mental isolation.

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 6/13/2012 7:43:21 AM   
OsideGirl


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
for many/most of us a heavy bdsm scene is about synergy, not mental isolation.


Yup. I get off on the energy that flows between us. It's not about being wrapped up in my own head.


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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 6/13/2012 11:00:18 AM   
Deliena


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus
for many/most of us a heavy bdsm scene is about synergy, not mental isolation.


Yup. I get off on the energy that flows between us. It's not about being wrapped up in my own head.



Whilst I do agree with this, I do also find that where I end up in my head during or after a scene is part of it all.

mmmmm subspace

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 6/13/2012 11:08:26 AM   
wittynamehere


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Great thread, thank you. Psilocybin has been my vehicle of choice in the past but I look forward to Aya.
When the OP says "submission to the experience", the word submission has a different meaning than when saying "submission to a partner". Yes it's the same word, but I don't think it's actually the same thing. I'm not sure comparing submission to an internal experience with submission to a BDSM partner is useful to anyone but the OP. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit
So basically, you are comparing bdsm to the healing and enlightenment of a basic acid trip?

Ignorant spam.

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 6/13/2012 9:31:35 PM   
fucktoyprincess


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I've never had any experience with Ayahuasca, so I cannot answer from that perspective.

But part of what you describe certainly describes subspace for me. And for me subspace is a very internal experience. There is a synergy involved in BDSM, but most of my subspace journey, after a certain threshold, is in my own head. My partner helps get me there, but what I experience there is mine alone - and, in fact, I can't even entirely articulate what I experience.

Very interesting. Thanks for sharing your experience.

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 6/22/2012 6:32:30 AM   
these7lives


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Just an FYI - Aya is ANYTHING but a basic acid trip.

But I also understand someone who hasn't done it to think that.

A good rule of thumb: don't knock it until you try it.

A better rule of thumb: Hold your opinions until you try it.

And the best rule of thumb: Try it

< Message edited by these7lives -- 6/22/2012 6:34:51 AM >

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 6/22/2012 8:38:55 AM   
GreedyTop


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wtf is aya?

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 6/22/2012 10:31:11 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

wtf is aya?


Ayahuasca, the hallucinogenic he is comparing subspace to. And the rest of us are saying....not so much!

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RE: Submission, Surrender and Ayahuasca - 6/22/2012 10:33:50 AM   
LadyHibiscus


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Ayahuasca, the hallucinogen that he is comparing subspace to. And the rest of us are saying, not so much.

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