RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ?

RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (Full Version)

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forcedsensuality -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 1:52:27 PM)
ChatteParfaitt i just reacted to your tone ... it just seemed dismissive, contemptuous, as though i'd annoyed you by wasting your time .. "go over my head" .. well your tone did distract me completely from what you were meaning to say, stuff others said in a more helpful conciliatory friendly tone.. my profile that people have read was one i wrote this morning,.. it was a frivolous stream of consciousness thing i whipped up because i'd forgotten my other regular collarme id's password and could not be bothered tracking it down.. I've been reading about BDSM stuff for years, treading very carefully, considering whether it is really me this BDSM stuff anyway although i have very early memories of feeling it, but worrying about who are the good people and who might be dangerous. Thanks for all the feedback

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 1:54:33 PM)
OMG !! I believe that was a great big juicy piece of steak, unless I am much mistaken. LOL

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 1:57:26 PM)
My tone? Fuck my tone. If you don't like it, block me. It's easy to do. I was trying to give you some information. You might want to step back from your uber emotional response and at some point, maybe tomorrow, read my posts again. Or maybe not. If you need info about how to block all my posts, just let me know.

Lockit -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 1:57:49 PM)
LOL... dude... come on. You say you have a domina and you have wanted to find out certain things and want to be caned to the point of crying and you both want to know what you can do safely... bring in the school boy thing... have a dominant profile that you whipped up quickly and then rush to post in the mistress forum. But you aren't here to wank or looking for wank material? You state you are treading very carefully and have read about bdsm for years and yet you want to know how to get to extreme places all of a sudden? I call bull shit. Now... evaluate my tone.

forcedsensuality -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 1:58:38 PM)
i think cannibalism gets a bad rap

ResidentSadist -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:00:31 PM)
For Hibby I would go no less than Black Forest Cake. Wouldn't expect her to eat anything I wouldn't. Soooooo . . . in line with the OP, after caning your boy every ten minutes for the afternoon, how much cake could you eat? [img]http://i.imgur.com/FTWKL.jpg[/img]

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:03:38 PM)
And I spent time on this. A lesson for me. Enjoy your cake, boy.

forcedsensuality -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:06:19 PM)
well the profile is just complete bullshit, but that's the only bullshit .. sorry it must look incongruous and while i've thought about it and read books and lots of web pages full of suggestions, i have no understanding of my little fantasy activity being such an "extreme place".. this woman friend and me have only just realised we're both quite intrigued by this stuff ... but that doesn't make me a space cadet, just someone who's finally getting around to acting on some of his sexual whims with a friend who's at the same stage.. so as far as this forum goes, yeah, i'm an innocent .. no problem with your tone, you disagree with me and think i'm bullshitting which you've explained clearly and dispassionately, but it doesn't feel like you're attacking me

forcedsensuality -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:16:31 PM)
wow, what are those red things ? strawberries, cherries,.. next time you're in new zealand i'll bake you a pavlova cake, but if you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding! How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat?!

ChatteParfaitt -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:22:25 PM)
And I gave you some great advice. Read more. Get real time experience. Have you ever been spanked at all? Guess what? The fantasy is different from the reality. You want to come across as someone who is knowledgeable, but your questions make it clear you are not. I can't help that. I can tell you to get real time experience so you have some foundation for your questions.

BitaTruble -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:23:29 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: forcedsensuality How hard/ how many strokes so she can cane me as often as possible for most pain (wihout permanent injury) Keep it under 8 psi unless you like broken bones. The number of strokes don't matter. You can smack someone a 1000 times (as with a leather bat.. fun, sounds great but almost impossible to cause pain with one) or you can stroke once and they are in agony (as with a 1/2" delron.. mean suckers those delrons). quote: WE were thinking every three weeks .. How did you arrive at that number? Average bruise heal time for you? That's not a good indicator if you are just taking physical heal time into consideration and not counting recuperation and restrengthening time of a given area. A couple of times a week for a canning is not unusual.. a couple of times a year is not unusual. Use your body and how you are feeling both physically and emotionally as a better gauge and, if possible, avoid hitting bruised areas over and over again. The reason that using bruises as a guideline isn't a great idea is because, eventually, you'll probably stop bruising as easily or as often as you break veins and stuff. After 30 years of fairly heavy, edgy sort of play, to raise a bruise on my skin is going to take a whole lot more than a cane. Maybe a 2x4 would work, but i doubt it! quote: what else do you do to a schoolboy ? Help with homework? :D quote: strap/tawse in between ? Sure, sometimes.. but mostly I just pick a different body part and give the ones I've already played with a chance to heal, rest and revive. quote: has to be mean enough for me to be scared .. Get a delron.. that'll scare you. quote: what are other good spanking options ? If you are bent over, it's going to hurt more than if you are, for example, lying prone on a bed. Composed, relaxed regular breathing can help you manage pain if you want to extend sessions. Baby steps will get you into the heavier play eventually. Don't be in too much of a hurry to make big leaps and bounds or you may forget to stop and smell the roses and you miss out on so much of the fun of the journey when you try to get to the.. um.. 'end' to quickly. Good luck.

FantasyKisses -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:33:00 PM)
Treating everyone who posts what you site 'elders' think is .... whatever and wrong for it is just as wrong. Please stop flaming people and using their actions and questions as an excuse for poor behavior. I don't care how many munches or subs or Dom/inas you've had, rude is rude. And it's uncalled for. You started out in the life, all of you. You asked stupid questions, EVERY ONE OF YOU. Stop flaming the newbies or go buy your own server and run your own private site for your little private club of perfect fucking people. This is BDSM, we are the freaks. The nuts. The wierdos, so kindly drop your 'my leathers are holier than thou bullshit' and help the guy out. Best case scneario, he learns and can make some friends in the Life. Never a bad thing. Worst case is that he doesn't learn and he or his partner get hurt. His own bag. But shoveling your opinions of how worthless he or anyone else on this site is because they don't meet up to your expectations.... Screw your expectations. BDSM is a buffet. Doubt it? Check the Deviant's Dictionary--all of it is under our umbrella babe. And to "Miss Castle REALM" who cannot spell 'realm', I used to write for Castle Realm. And I knew Jade. So STUFU to the woman who has to use the F-bomb instead of conversing with people like they are human beings. I am ever so sorry that you're an abusive twit running around as a Top (sorry, Domme), but this guy didn't kick your puppy. And yes, I'm going to give the same amount of respect back to each of you that I see you give. Your years and leathers and whatever don't give you the right to be douches.

Lockit -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:35:10 PM)
ROFL... okay, you go talk to him. I'm sure it will be ever so enlightening and productive. You won't need us self appointed elders. I'm sure you would be willing to give him all the enlightenment his newbie ass could want.

FantasyKisses -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:40:34 PM)
Now, to answer your question and sorry hon, I needed to get that out after months of watching these "people" abuse fellow site members.... And thank you Burnt Kitty for offering up ideas. There are several steps you need to consider and I'm going to do what we did in Castle Realm (a huge 'how-to' guide created by a beautiful lady Jade until she was taken by lupis.) May she rest in peace. I'm going to be editing this to make this as comprehensive as possible for you. I have a couple of bamboo rods that I love, but different types of wood and their thicknesses swing differently. I have no idea what type of sub you are. So you need to test your pain threshold first. I'm going to re-edit this several times because I need to check some things and I like to cite my sources. Just to warn you, some of them are old and may have pages to the sites missing. From what I gather, you're new to the Life at large, correct? You're going to want to do some research into yourself. Unless you're going to be a kinkster, BDSM isn't just about the kink. It's certainly a nice side dish, but ...you know, as many times as I've asked, I'm still not sure what the crux of a Dom/me's satisfaction is. Being a sub and former slave, I find immense satisfaction in pleasing and serving. Regardless of the sexuality behind it. I've had to Top as part of humiliation training (for me) and found I didn't like it, and the reason I say this to you is so that you don't end up mid-scene going "wait, uhm no". http://www.domsub.info/main.shtml http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/ http://safersm.org/ In case you don't know this, your safeword should be one syllable and easy to remember and say without stuttering. "Red" is a very popular choice because of stop signs/lights, so on. You might also want to have your lady read this. It's called Qualities Of A Good Mistress. Remember she's not infallible and your friend will make mistakes. I'm also trying to find a good how to training guide, but I want to look on YouTube so you have a video to go by. http://www.wizdomme.com/infopack/qualities.shtml Common reactions to badly swung canes/rods/wooden objects: deep welts, blisters--and if you don't use a quality item, splinters. So if you take one in an orifice, use a condom. Make sure you're not allergic to the wood as well. 1: Choose your weapon. As I mentioned, the wood or material used has complete bearing on how the cane will strike. That, along with how the cane is held and moved (wrist flicks are different from elbow swings and yield different results) will also dictate how hard a cane strikes. The type of wood or material will also give the cane it's 'bend'. The more flexible the cane, the more potent the strike. This site goes into synthetic canes as well as natural ones in a much more comprehensible way than I could. Start light. You can ALWAYS work up, both in tolerance to the sting as well as in gradient of the type of cane you use. http://punishmentcane.com/ Willow hurts. Rattan hurts. Bamboo is a medium, depending on the cane. These are just my opinions though. Play with different ones and see for yourself what you like. 2: Training & Technique. You want a balanced cane. One with the handle well wrapped and the wood solid and without splinters. You can use a wood soap like Murphy's to keep them nice and shiny, and the wood conditioned. The way I was taught was to (as this site mentions) practice in the air to get the feel of the cane, then blow up a balloon and start by hitting it in controlled strikes successfully ten times. Then work your way up until you can hit it 100 times (not kidding) without popping it. It is for this reason that I disagree with some schools of thought that hold canes should be done at intermediate BDSM experience. Keep the 'safe and sane' portions in mind, practice yourself and have your lady practice also, and you should be fine. (You'll also want a good understanding of how to use anything that is used on you.) http://www.saxon-web.co.uk/htm/reference/implements/cane.htm How To Vid: http://youtu.be/iSEFbC1D-mI The last time I was caned, my Partner varied his strokes as this video shows--which I found to be a great technique. It not only allowed for a better overall sensation, but also made the welts beautifully varied. (I can PM you a picture.) You can also use a lot of the same methods that you'd use with a paddle to build tension. Rub an area for a bit, very very lightly and then strike somewhere else--say the opposite cheek. If you are not into CBT, make sure your testicles are not exposed. And if you get bored, you can always make your own. Plus making toys together is a great relationship piece. http://www.saroftreve.com/workshop/canes.shtml If you have any questions, feel free to ask. If I don't know, I know Others that can answer it.

LaTigresse -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:44:48 PM)
Thank you. You have brightened my afternoon.

Lockit -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:45:50 PM)
Well damn fantasykisses, you could have just said what you said in email... right here on the thread rather than be abusive and show poor behavior under cover.

LaTigresse -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:46:50 PM)
Actually, I am extremely thrilled it was done publicly. I wouldn't have been able to read it otherwise.

Lockit -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:48:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LaTigresse Actually, I am extremely thrilled it was done publicly. I wouldn't have been able to read it otherwise. Oh no... she did it under cover. No way she would have said what she said to me publicly! lol

LaTigresse -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:50:41 PM)
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..............apparently I was being my usual dense self. I misunderstood! One of the passive aggressive sorts. All sweetness and light publicly but behind the scenes.....

RedMagic1 -> RE: how often to safely cane a "boy" hard enough to make him beg & cry ? (4/27/2012 2:55:04 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FantasyKisses I used to write for Castle Realm. And I knew Jade. Really? That's extremely interesting to me. I've searched for her death certificate and was unable to find it. According to people I've spoken with who knew Lord Colm in real life when he was attending munches in Texas, he claimed that he was in a long-distance Ds relationship with slave jade, and they saw each other face-to-face infrequently. No one I've ever met or spoken with had ever met jade in real life, although there was one woman who had an extensive IM friendship with her, and believes that if she was a fake (as in really just Colm making her up), then she was one of the best fakes in the history of the internet. My current hypothesis is that she really lived, but was a homebody because of her illness, had almost no real-time BDSM or Ds experience, and as a result would make up increasingly fantastic tales about the true nature of BDSM because of her isolation and sexual frustration. However, the total lack of documentation and witnesses points toward her existence being an urban legend that Colm created. That's why I wanted the piece of paper. There can't be too many people who died of complications from chemotherapy due to a non-cancerous disease in Massachusetts that year. And yet, there don't appear to be any obituaries relating to that. I'd appreciate any help you could provide.

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