slave or sub

slave or sub (Full Version)

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irishwantsblkDom -> slave or sub (6/5/2006 11:15:41 AM)
I am a new sub never owned and with little experience. Why when I am approached on CM do Doms and Masters insist on calling me slave? Whats up with that? I had one Dom tell me its so you will become what you are called ???? Any insight into this would be helpful. Thanks very much in advance. irish

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: slave or sub (6/5/2006 11:23:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: irishwantsblkDom I am a new sub never owned and with little experience. Why when I am approached on CM do Doms and Masters insist on calling me slave? Whats up with that? I had one Dom tell me its so you will become what you are called ???? Any insight into this would be helpful. Thanks very much in advance. irish Cuz it sounds cooler to them and they want to make you feel like you're cooler if you're with them. And because they are fairly rude people who think being a pushy dork is the same as being dominant and have no idea how to actually form a relationship so they try and force and manipulate you into one.

CollaredProperty -> RE: slave or sub (6/5/2006 11:53:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: irishwantsblkDom I am a new sub never owned and with little experience. Why when I am approached on CM do Doms and Masters insist on calling me slave? Whats up with that? I had one Dom tell me its so you will become what you are called ???? Any insight into this would be helpful. Thanks very much in advance. irish Stand you grounds and be who you are. Too many times people are pushed into a mold or cookie cutter or morph themself into what they are NOT. Be true to yourself and you will always be happy. One day you will find the Right Man or Woman that will accept you for you and not try to change you. slave susan.

OsideGirl -> RE: slave or sub (6/5/2006 2:16:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross quote: ORIGINAL: irishwantsblkDom I am a new sub never owned and with little experience. Why when I am approached on CM do Doms and Masters insist on calling me slave? Whats up with that? I had one Dom tell me its so you will become what you are called ???? Any insight into this would be helpful. Thanks very much in advance. irish Cuz it sounds cooler to them and they want to make you feel like you're cooler if you're with them. And because they are fairly rude people who think being a pushy dork is the same as being dominant and have no idea how to actually form a relationship so they try and force and manipulate you into one. Yup! What she said!

rose442 -> RE: slave or sub (6/5/2006 2:20:16 PM)
I must disagree with you have said . The word cooler ,sounds like you are a kid. And not all DOMS are the same . I myself do not call subs "slaves". I might call them "girl" or by there name . But it is up to her to say what she is called until she is owned . just my 2 cents. MasterStoney442 Master wrote this.... He was under my nic and did not know it. Would have deleted it, and rewrote it under Masters name but i don't know how to do it. rose442

Wulfchyld -> RE: slave or sub (6/5/2006 2:22:44 PM)
Read the forums, you can do a search for various topics but most important of all... Do what feels right for you. Don’t let some dork bully you into something you are not.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: slave or sub (6/5/2006 3:03:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: rose442 I must disagree with you have said . The word cooler ,sounds like you are a kid. And not all DOMS are the same . I myself do not call subs "slaves". I might call them "girl" or by there name . But it is up to her to say what she is called until she is owned . just my 2 cents. I didn't say all doms were the same. I said doms who insist on calling a person slave and try to convince the other person why they should call themselves a slave do so because a) They think it sounds cooler b) They want to convince the other person that they are cooler and will be cooler if they are with them Now, if you asked them this directly, they'd likely deny it. But it really is part of their motivation.

LordDominik -> RE: slave or sub (6/5/2006 4:58:51 PM)
Here’s My advice to you. And, this applies to anyone who is new in the lifestyle. Whether or not you are a sub or a slave is entirely between you and the one you are in a relationship with. More times than often, I have had this disagreement with more people than I can count. The question being, what is the difference between a submissive and a slave? The difference is 5 letters. Many people will come up and say that a slave has no rights whatsoever, and that a submissive does. I have filled the Dominant role for about 13 years now in this particular lifestyle, and during that time, there is no person who can tell Me whether or not the submissive partner I am with is a submissive or a slave. There is no book, website, chat room, message board, group, or individual that can define the dynamics of My relationship. If I am with a submissive partner, and I should choose to identify that partner as a slave, then what difference does it make, so long as that person and I both agree? In our relationship, we are the only two people that matter. So long as that partner fulfills what I seek our interactions, then why does a word matter? The words submissive and slave are just that, words. It’s not the word, it’s what the word implies. Just because I choose to call someone a slave, and give that person rights, doesn’t make then any less of a slave. All slaves have rights. You have the right to free speech, religion, the right to vote, the right to bear arms, the right to a speedy trial, the right to remain silent, to the right to an attorney, and many, many others that are guaranteed to us by our laws of Government. Atop of that, they also have whatever freedoms and rights that are agreed upon within our relationship. That doesn’t make them any less of a slave. Any person who tries to tell you different is flat out wrong, and I challenge them to prove that whomever I choose to call a slave does not have rights. My advice is, don’t focus on a title. Focus on the factor of compatibility within the dynamic of the relationship. Chances are, the one who thinks you don’t have rights, and that you are just a piece of meat, wouldn’t be compatible with you anyway. *~ LD*

cillydom -> RE: slave or sub (6/5/2006 5:15:59 PM)
Just do what you do and forget the labels

Suleiman -> RE: slave or sub (6/5/2006 5:35:05 PM)
Fast reply answer: They are all idjits! 99% of everybody you will ever meet is, at least some of the time, a complete and total idjit. On a website like this, there appears to be a call for idjitcy. People believe they have a liscense to commit aggrivated idjitcy. Ignore them and move on. They've done you a favor - they've spontaneously weeded themselves out of the running by proving that they are utter idjits. I'm willing to bet my favorite pair of polkadotted silk knickers that nearly everybody else who has responded so far will tell you some variation of the same.

cuddleheart50 -> RE: slave or sub (6/5/2006 7:36:37 PM)
I've had several tell me the same thing, but I always tell them...I am submissive, not a slave. Some of them that I have talked to want to tell me what I am...lol....aint gonna happen....Don't let them bully you!

xxmstrchasxx -> RE: slave or sub (6/7/2006 11:18:08 PM)
irish, I have talked to hundreds of subs in chatrooms/pm's or emails and never have called any of them a slave. How do I know they are a slave without asking them or knowing them? They might be submissive but not a slave in their eyes. If I call someone something it is usually their signature or screen name not slave or sub. Hell, they're not my slave or sub. If i were emailing you or PMing you I would call you irish, just like your signature. There are a lot of players online and a lot of them has never Dommed anything except their hand.

Arpig -> RE: slave or sub (6/8/2006 12:42:27 AM)
Slave, Sub, Whatever.

LaMalinche -> RE: slave or sub (6/8/2006 2:45:45 AM)
Because they are either: a. Whankers b. HNG's Ignore them and move on. Or, since I liked it so much. . . c. Idjits. LOL

irishbynature -> RE: slave or sub (6/8/2006 3:01:17 AM)
Are the "Doms" contacting you Goreans? A "Master" or "Mistress"(or other terms, "Sir, Lord"..etc) are terms used by a submissive upon agreement with him/her,etc). Anyone who tells you to call them "Master/Mistress" without you knowing them...kick to the curb as a HNG.[:D]

irishbynature -> RE: slave or sub (6/8/2006 3:02:58 AM)
Laughs at bit..if a HNG told me to call him "Master" just because he was a Dom...LMAO....you could see me rolling on the floor laughing__>[sm=biggrin.gif][sm=biggrin.gif]

CrappyDom -> RE: slave or sub (6/8/2006 8:34:00 AM)
quote: Cuz it sounds cooler to them and they want to make you feel like you're cooler if you're with them. Thanks for the perfect and succinct answer, I am going to steal this one rather than my usual long winded one. Perfect answer for "European houses" "true" "real" "old guard" "strict" and a host of other crap.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: slave or sub (6/8/2006 8:35:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: CrappyDom Thanks for the perfect and succinct answer, I am going to steal this one rather than my usual long winded one. Perfect answer for "European houses" "true" "real" "old guard" "strict" and a host of other crap. Yup and thanks. BTW you have a striking resemblance to a popular scene person around here, who was actually the first person I ever topped. Not that I want to top you, but you certainly make CA even more desireable.

mistoferin -> RE: slave or sub (6/8/2006 8:39:22 AM)
Nice picture but I must tell you that it has totally blown my perceived image of you out of the water. Now that I know you are not the Poindexter type of cartoon character I envisioned I'm going to be forced to take your posts more seriously....lol.

marieToo -> RE: slave or sub (6/8/2006 9:06:10 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: irishwantsblkDom I am a new sub never owned and with little experience. Why when I am approached on CM do Doms and Masters insist on calling me slave? Whats up with that? I had one Dom tell me its so you will become what you are called ???? Any insight into this would be helpful. Thanks very much in advance. irish To answer ( or try to guess) what each dom is thinking when he addresses someone as slave, would be futile. The question to ask (imo) is how does it make you feel. Do you like it? Dislike it? Feel indifferent about it? If you dont like it, then tell him. If he's not your Master and insists on calling you slave when you've told him that you dont like it, then cut him off and move on. Personally I dont like being called slave by a stranger. But if a stranger emails me and uses the term 'girl', I like it; where others might find it rude. My point being you have to decide whether or not its acceptable to you based on how you feel about it, not based on all of our opinions of what each of these men might be thinking when they use the term. Ps: Many, if not most, will address you by name or by your nick. And once you 'sign' an email a certain way, they will usually pick up on that, then address you that way in their next note. That has been my experience anyway. Hope this helps. [:)]

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