RE: Is this for real?

RE: Is this for real? (Full Version)

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MadameM4U -> RE: Is this for real? (5/4/2012 12:41:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LookieNoNookie quote: ORIGINAL: MadameM4U I started on this site almost a week ago and have received some emails I just don't think are "real" but I wanted to share one and get some feedback from all of you since I am new here. I received this message twice today: "ill pay you to tie me up pull my pants down and put a cig out on me" I specifically state on my profile that I am not a professional domme and can't be hired for anything so I figured this was from someone who obviously did not read my profile or if it is from a "real" person they just didn't believe that I am not for hire. Is this sort of message a common occurrence here? Welcome to the circus. I hadn't thought about it like that but you are right . . . After all, the circus is a place where there are rings, whips, chains, a lady twirling around on a rope, folks dressed in skimpy costumes, clowns engaged in role play and there may be a bearded "lady", a tattooed man and someone who can hold their breath for a very long time or contort their body in interesting ways. There are all sorts of "rides" and "fun houses" to explore and enjoy. There might even be someone engaged in knife play with a blind-folded and bound recipient. With all that is going on there is only ONE dominant person in control of the entire scene. I think "circus" describes it perfectly! Well done! [image]local://upfiles/1405161/D16CBA242E514AEC8B1D8BC637EEB723.jpg[/image]

PrincessDonna11 -> RE: Is this for real? (5/4/2012 1:15:22 AM)
If any one on the outside really under stood our trials and tribulations just sayin.......

luxInferior -> RE: Is this for real? (5/4/2012 2:53:42 AM)
I had a 'Domme' tell me to buy her Amazon vouchers in order to prove I was serious and not a fake. Being keen to please, I decided to go above and beyond and bought her instead an Oxfam voucher to donate a goat to an African family in poverty. Feeling very pleased with myself I told her what I'd done, and that the African family were so thrilled that they'd actually named the goat after her, and that it had made a big difference to their lives. She was not so impressed... Rather angry in fact. I cannot work out why. I have not heard from her since. But, somewhere in Africa 'Megabitch123 the goat' is living a happy life with a family who's life is all the richer for her generosity. (Some of the above may not be true.... I'd quite like to do this though)

LookieNoNookie -> RE: Is this for real? (5/4/2012 7:17:31 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: luxInferior I had a 'Domme' tell me to buy her Amazon vouchers in order to prove I was serious and not a fake. Being keen to please, I decided to go above and beyond and bought her instead an Oxfam voucher to donate a goat to an African family in poverty. Feeling very pleased with myself I told her what I'd done, and that the African family were so thrilled that they'd actually named the goat after her, and that it had made a big difference to their lives. She was not so impressed... Rather angry in fact. I cannot work out why. I have not heard from her since. But, somewhere in Africa 'Megabitch123 the goat' is living a happy life with a family who's life is all the richer for her generosity. (Some of the above may not be true.... I'd quite like to do this though) Hahahahahahahaha

Hillwilliam -> RE: Is this for real? (5/4/2012 7:19:49 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: luxInferior I had a 'Domme' tell me to buy her Amazon vouchers in order to prove I was serious and not a fake. Being keen to please, I decided to go above and beyond and bought her instead an Oxfam voucher to donate a goat to an African family in poverty. Feeling very pleased with myself I told her what I'd done, and that the African family were so thrilled that they'd actually named the goat after her, and that it had made a big difference to their lives. She was not so impressed... Rather angry in fact. I cannot work out why. I have not heard from her since. But, somewhere in Africa 'Megabitch123 the goat' is living a happy life with a family who's life is all the richer for her generosity. (Some of the above may not be true.... I'd quite like to do this though) [sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif][sm=rofl.gif] That made my fucking morning.

kalikshama -> RE: Is this for real? (5/4/2012 10:26:27 AM)
quote: But, somewhere in Africa 'Megabitch123 the goat' is living a happy life with a family who's life is all the richer for her generosity. That was great! Also truly available: https://secure1.heifer.org/gift-catalog/goat.html Goats Are Great for Families The gift of a dairy goat represents a lasting, meaningful way for you to help a little boy or girl on the other side of the world. Goats can thrive in extreme climates and on poor, dry land by eating grass and leaves. The gift of a dairy goat can supply a family with up to several quarts of nutritious milk a day - a ton of milk a year. Extra milk can be sold or used to make cheese, butter or yogurt. Families learn to use goat manure to fertilize gardens. Goats often have two or three kids a year making it easy for Heifer recipients to pass on the gift of a goat to another family in need. This great investment allows our partners to lift themselves out of poverty by starting small dairies that earn money for food, health care and education. [image]https://secure1.heifer.org/media/catalog/product/cache/1/image/235x/9df78eab33525d08d6e5fb8d27136e95/g/o/goat235x235_1.jpg[/image] [image]local://upfiles/1052865/6BAA868B5E014B168216450AFD769D5C.jpg[/image]

nequam -> RE: Is this for real? (5/5/2012 2:40:09 AM)
Even if the guy was genuine, he made it obvious he didn't read your profile. Ignoring pretty basic information, such as 'i'm not a prodomme' is a serious problem for me. Say he was genuine and you decided to get to know him, what makes you think he would be obedient about anything else? And what makes him think you'd want to take him seriously if he's not bothered to read? So even if they are genuine, something like that would be a no go for me.

MadameM4U -> RE: Is this for real? (5/6/2012 2:44:30 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nequam Even if the guy was genuine, he made it obvious he didn't read your profile. Ignoring pretty basic information, such as 'i'm not a prodomme' is a serious problem for me. Say he was genuine and you decided to get to know him, what makes you think he would be obedient about anything else? And what makes him think you'd want to take him seriously if he's not bothered to read? So even if they are genuine, something like that would be a no go for me. I couldn't agree with you more and when I come across an email from someone who obviously didn't follow the instructions in my profile I delete it without reading it, as I say I will in my profile. I simply have no use for anyone who can't or won't follow simple instructions.

ElanSubdued -> RE: Is this for real? (5/6/2012 4:59:35 PM)
MadameM4U, quote: lthrpup wrote: After you hide or block a few hundred profiles, Collame is like a different website. Oh how I wish this were true. Collar Me has become an entirely wasteful, guilty pleasure. I say "wasteful" and "guilty" because the site does almost nothing to remove overtly rude and/or overtly sexual profiles, scammers, usurers, professionals, financial dommes, and so forth. As such, the dating side is plagued by a massive noise to legitimate signal ratio. Very very occasionally someone catches my attention, and that is usually because they've made a thoughtful post in the forums. On even rarer occasions, I find profiles written by those sincerely looking to meet and that is a nice yet somewhat shocking surprise on Collar Me. Side note: yes, I realize the proper term is "signal to noise ratio", but I've juxtaposed the two keywords to emphasize the one with the larger number first. :-)

searching4mysir -> RE: Is this for real? (5/6/2012 5:06:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued MadameM4U, quote: lthrpup wrote: After you hide or block a few hundred profiles, Collame is like a different website. Oh how I wish this were true. Collar Me has become an entirely wasteful, guilty pleasure. I say "wasteful" and "guilty" because the site does almost nothing to remove overtly rude and/or overtly sexual profiles, scammers, usurers, professionals, financial dommes, and so forth. As such, the dating side is plagued by a massive noise to legitimate signal ratio. Very very occasionally someone catches my attention, and that is usually because they've made a thoughtful post in the forums. On even rarer occasions, I find profiles written by those sincerely looking to meet and that is a nice yet somewhat shocking surprise on Collar Me. Side note: yes, I realize the proper term is "signal to noise ratio", but I've juxtaposed the two keywords to emphasize the one with the larger number first. :-) Being a pro or a fin domme does not violate the TOS of the site, so there is no reason to get rid of them. The site never claims to be a "dating site". It claims to be a large BDSM community. Big difference in there. Considering it IS a kink site, I expect the overtly sexual and used that as a weeding tool. Same thing with rude. Hide and block were my friend while I was still searching. If the guy even had a cock shot up or a homegrown porn shot, it immediately excluded them from my search. I would think as a male sub searching for a relationship with a dominant woman, any mention of the following words: "goddess", "princess", "spoiled", "tribute", "generous" or use of the $ sign would automatically exclude someone from your search parameters.

ElanSubdued -> RE: Is this for real? (5/6/2012 5:26:42 PM)
searching4mysir, quote: Being a pro or a fin domme does not violate the TOS of the site... (snip) Whether it violates the T.O.S. or not, for those looking for friends and/or partners, it is still a problem, and this is a key reason I use Collar Me far less than I used to. quote: I would think as a male sub searching for a relationship with a dominant woman, any mention of the following words: "goddess", "princess", "spoiled", "tribute", "generous" or use of the $ sign would automatically exclude someone from your search parameters. "Princess" and "goddess" sometimes get by, depending on how the words are used. You can add "piggie", "pay piggie", "wallet", "it's all about me", and a few other choice, selfish phrases, and Amazon wish list links and Paypal gift links to your list... and, yes, that's a fairly representative instant delete list for male submissives looking for a partner. Anyone who refers to male submissives as a commodity or in supply/demand terms is also generally an instant delete.

LadyConstanze -> RE: Is this for real? (5/6/2012 6:04:00 PM)
Do you honestly think you would have more luck if there were no pro dommes or fin dommes on this site? I seriously doubt it... You don't hear so many complains from women having to put up with horny idiots who think we are fetish delivery systems and should be that for free, to show we are "twu and weal" and I bet the noise ration we are getting on a daily basis is a lot more than yours. Hmmm, for some reason I think subs are just a bit winey...

lizi -> RE: Is this for real? (5/6/2012 6:13:43 PM)
I have to say, I honestly don't get the opinion that if the fin Dommes or pros were gone that somehow things would become better for the submissive male. It doesn't automatically make more lifestyle Dommes does it by removing those who charge money? I can't see that it would discourage lifestyle Dommes from coming here since they'd be in a wide minority and have the advantage of being in that category. It doesn't seem to discourage the men from coming here. It is a free site, if anything I would think that alone would encourage lifestyle Dommes to come here and use the site services.

TNDommeK -> RE: Is this for real? (5/6/2012 9:37:11 PM)
The goat thing was hilarious. But, OP, yea just block em.

PeonForHer -> RE: Is this for real? (5/7/2012 3:48:06 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze You don't hear so many complains from women having to put up with horny idiots who think we are fetish delivery systems and should be that for free, to show we are "twu and weal" and I bet the noise ration we are getting on a daily basis is a lot more than yours. Hmmm, for some reason I think subs are just a bit winey... Actually, I think I do hear more complaints from women about their having to put up with horny idiots who think they, the women, are fetish delivery systems. Just saying.

PeonForHer -> RE: Is this for real? (5/7/2012 4:02:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ElanSubdued "Princess" and "goddess" sometimes get by, depending on how the words are used. You can add "piggie", "pay piggie", "wallet", "it's all about me", and a few other choice, selfish phrases, and Amazon wish list links and Paypal gift links to your list... and, yes, that's a fairly representative instant delete list for male submissives looking for a partner. Anyone who refers to male submissives as a commodity or in supply/demand terms is also generally an instant delete. Yep, that's pretty much my rule of the thumb, too. But none of these tend to initiate cmail conversations. Or, if they do, said conversations will be ludicrously 'uberdommely' (E.g. just the words "You intrigue me, tell me more") or they'll look patently like adverts. I can dimly recall being so innocent that I could barely recognise 'bait and switchers', never mind as instantly as I do now. Hmmm. Well, as always, for newbies, there's no substitute for reading the generic advice and believing it.

LadyPuta12 -> RE: Is this for real? (5/7/2012 6:09:58 AM)
i do only REAL TIME...

ElanSubdued -> RE: Is this for real? (5/7/2012 8:04:30 AM)
LadyConstanze and Lizi, quote: LadyConstanze: Do you honestly think you would have more luck if there were no pro dommes or fin dommes on this site? I seriously doubt it... Removing professional, financial, and scammer dominants won't change the number of dominants looking for actual partners. However, it would make Collar Me much more pleasant to use. Case in point, FetLife limits where professionals can post and it doesn't allow financial types and scammers. Those looking for professionals can find these services and mainstream users aren't overtaken by professionals advertising because professionals aren't allowed in anywhere but designated areas. That's a huge improvement over Collar Me. quote: LadyConstanze: You don't hear so many complaints from women having to put up with horny idiots who think we are fetish delivery systems and should be that for free, to show we are "twu and weal" and I bet the noise ratio we are getting on a daily basis is a lot more than yours. Hmmm, for some reason I think subs are just a bit winey. I hear women complaining about "horny idiots" all the time. This thread is about just such an example. Your viewpoint seems like a classic case of "it's not in my backyard so it's not a problem". Consider the frustration dominant women express on this forum about junk letters from submissives. Now add the following. Instead of only horny idiots (don't for one minute think women don't act like horny idiots, because they do), consider a pool where the majority are scammers and wankers, and the best you're going to get is someone who marginalizes you as a client. Ugh! That's what Collar Me looks like from the viewpoint of male submissives looking for friends, partners, and relationships. I don't think that's what the creators of Collar Me had in mind. There are plenty of sites dedicated to professional dominants and I think Collar Me would serve its intended community more effectively with policies designed to keep scammers off the site and professionals either off the site or limited to specific areas (as is the case at FetLife). quote: Lizi: I have to say, I honestly don't get the opinion that if the fin Dommes or pros were gone that somehow things would become better for the submissive male. It doesn't automatically make more lifestyle Dommes does it by removing those who charge money? My comments immediately above address this. quote: Lizi: I can't see that it would discourage lifestyle Dommes from coming here since they'd be in a wide minority and have the advantage of being in that category. It doesn't seem to discourage the men from coming here. For submissives, it does discourage men from coming to Collar Me. All the actual male submissives I know on this site are concerned about the noise ratio. That ratio is so high that it makes Collar Me useless as a meeting place. And, actually, I suspect the noise ratio discourages female dominants too, because it attracts the kind of men who aren't looking for or aren't capable of personal relationships. Elan.

JanahX -> RE: Is this for real? (5/7/2012 8:10:06 AM)
What a BEAUTIFUL STORY. & a lovely thing to do!! Such a generous site this is .... quote: ORIGINAL: luxInferior I had a 'Domme' tell me to buy her Amazon vouchers in order to prove I was serious and not a fake. Being keen to please, I decided to go above and beyond and bought her instead an Oxfam voucher to donate a goat to an African family in poverty. Feeling very pleased with myself I told her what I'd done, and that the African family were so thrilled that they'd actually named the goat after her, and that it had made a big difference to their lives. She was not so impressed... Rather angry in fact. I cannot work out why. I have not heard from her since. But, somewhere in Africa 'Megabitch123 the goat' is living a happy life with a family who's life is all the richer for her generosity. (Some of the above may not be true.... I'd quite like to do this though)

ElanSubdued -> RE: Is this for real? (5/7/2012 8:28:29 AM)
PeonForHer, quote: I can dimly recall being so innocent that I could barely recognise 'bait and switchers', never mind as instantly as I do now. Hmmm. Well, as always, for newbies, there's no substitute for reading the generic advice and believing it. Re "generic advice", yes, true. However, the adage "nothing replaces actual experience" tends to be equally true. When you're new, you want to believe everyone is honest and well-intentioned. On sites like Collar Me, that changes quickly and a huge part of using these mediums is filtering out professionals and scammers instead of spending energy on those you're actually looking for. Online sites are useful, but it's important to spend time, in person, at groups and events because this eliminates most of the chaff experienced online.

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