New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate?

New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (Full Version)

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Longerthanyou -> New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 9:32:44 AM)
I'm new to kink, but, in my worst dreams, I fantasize about binding a submissive couple hand and foot, roped together side by side, and penetrating both of them. My question, squicky as it may be, is that I've never done this and wonder what 'they' would feel. My closest analogy (which is the squicky part) is when I have a large defecation, the diameter is somewhere around cock sized (I'm guessing maybe ess than an inch and a half but clearly more than an inch). Anyway, without going too deeply into that, my point is that it hurts in a sharp way if/when I do that. So, my question to others who have already done it is ... ... is the pain similar to that (which I have felt)? ... or totally different? Note: Learned the word "squicky" from lurking in this forum! so I hope the warning in the title is sufficient to ward off those disgusted by the question

poise -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 9:40:13 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Longerthanyou I'm new to kink, but, in my worst dreams, I fantasize about binding a submissive couple hand and foot, roped together side by side, and penetrating both of them. I think, if you were to attempt to do them simultaneously, the pain you would feel would be greater than your defecation scenario.

OsideGirl -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 9:48:38 AM)
How do you put an anus in bondage?

poise -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 10:15:02 AM)
vewy vewy carefully [:o]

sincelo -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 11:13:03 AM)
I don't really understand your question. Are you asking what anal sex would feel like or having someone go from one ass to the next? One is a physical sensation that would feel no different if there were 1 or 58 of them. Perhaps i am not understanding the scenario well.

Longerthanyou -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 11:25:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sincelo I don't really understand your question. Are you asking what anal sex would feel like or having someone go from one ass to the next? One is a physical sensation that would feel no different if there were 1 or 58 of them. Perhaps i am not understanding the scenario well. My mistake. I was trying to dance around the squickyness of the question because of the duality of the bondage with anal sex (in my twisted mind). I would like to understand what the recipient is feeling so, yes, I am asking what unlubricated anal sex feels like. It's really not related to bondage EXCEPT (and this is the relationship), that it's related to D/s play in my brain. That is, I have no interest for anal sex, nor for sex with a guy - but when I 'own' that couple, woman, or man, then (and only then) I want to know what it would feel like to them for me to shove a cock-sized (assume a larger than normal cock sized) object into their ass (whether or not it 'is' a cock isn't the question so that's how two can be done at the same time so that they'd have dual feelings). I'm sorry if my lame attempt at sanitizing the subject confused people since the relationship between D/s and anal sex is in my mind, but not necessarily in yours. Specifically, since this is not a wank-factor question (another word I learned from lurking), I basically want to equate what 'they' feel with feelings I already know. If truth be told, I recently had constipation and I noticed the result was about the size of a good-sized cock - so I wondered if the pain I was feeling was the same as the pain the recipient feels when things go the other way ... but I dare say too much already.

JeffBC -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 11:30:21 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Longerthanyou Specifically, since this is not a wank-factor question (another word I learned from lurking), I basically want to equate what 'they' feel with feelings I already know. If truth be told, I recently had constipation and I noticed the result was about the size of a good-sized cock - so I wondered if the pain I was feeling was the same as the pain the recipient feels when things go the other way ... but I dare say too much already. For starters, there is no way to compare "pain" in any sort of absolute sense. Pain is a subjective thing. Carol and I respond to pain very differently with me tending to ignore it and her being more sensitive. So even if somehow we magically got a measurement of "it hurts 7.362" what would that tell you? Secondly, it won't be similar both because of direction of travel and lack of control. The situation between your constipation and being brutally ass fucked really can't be compared.

myotherself -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 11:34:51 AM)
Seriously, if this sounds squicky to you, to many of us it sounds almost vanilla - so don't worry about grossing anyone out [:D] For the inexperienced person, anal sex can hurt like you described. What is happening is the anal sphincter muscles are being stretched much further than they're used to, and this hurts. It can also be the creation of tears in the anus (visible or microscopic) or the irritation of haemorroids. Those who are new to anal sex should seriously work up to it, a little at a time and stretch those muscles. Start with fingers, small toys, and work up. Don't necessarily expect to be able to take a cock the first time you start playing. To begin with, lube should be used. This minimises the chances of tears and bleeding. And most likely it's gonna hurt. Go slow, and let the recipient set the pace. As the recipient gets more experienced you may find that lube is not necessary. We rarely use it now and have no problems. It rarely hurts, although that first stretch as the cock slides in is still an absolutely amazing feeling...[:D] A note of caution though - do not swap toys between one butt and another without either cleaning them first, or maybe put condoms over them and change them before putting them into the other person. Ditto with your cock. It's likely that there will be tears in both asses, and you don't want to introduce any foreign nasties that can set up an infection, even if they are fluid-bonded to each other.

Longerthanyou -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 11:37:17 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: JeffBC The situation between your constipation and being brutally ass fucked really can't be compared. I would have thought that, in any one person and in the same location, pain in one sense can be compared to pain in another. But if it can't be compared, then my question has no merit as there are no other comparisons that will work. Thanks. I'll try to figure it out a different way, somehow. (there's always a way)

LadyPact -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 11:38:25 AM)
Dude, I understand that you got that word by reading the forums, but I don't think you actually know what it means. ETA - There's always one solution for you to understand what having a cock shaped item up the butt feels like. Get a dildo and try it for yourself.

Longerthanyou -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 11:40:08 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself A note of caution though - do not swap toys between one butt and another without Understood. Fecal material is 50% bacteria, by dry weight. Not pretty from a microbial standpoint ...

Longerthanyou -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 11:43:35 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Get a dildo and try it for yourself. I absolutely knew that was going to be said but, well, I don't want to say much, but I was abused once as a 9 year old ... and I vowed never ever ever would anything like that happen so I tried to ward that suggestion off by carefully choosing my words in the first post. That's another reason why the guy has to be submissive. If you see my profile, there is never ever going to be a penetration in me in any way shape or manner. So, while that would be a wonderful way to test out my theory, I have other problems that won't allow a direct test. Thanks for the suggestion though ... I think I'm saying too much so I may end up deleting these ...

sincelo -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 12:43:26 PM)
The important thing is that if you do not want to try it that it is not important. When you have anal just make surethat you listen to the person and allow them to go at their own pace. Realistically could you tell me what it feels like to have sex? That is why there is trouble. I generally dont have any pain though if someone trys to penetrate me too fast my sphincter muscle will spasm which creates pain so badly that i can't process it. Blind white pain. but generally it feels pleasant and enjoyable.

Longerthanyou -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 1:13:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: sincelo When you have anal just make surethat you listen to the person and allow them to go at their own pace. Of course. In my mind, they beg me to stop - and I do - but not right away. In the real world, I'd stop right away. quote: Realistically could you tell me what it feels like to have sex? That is why there is trouble. I generally dont have any pain though if someone trys to penetrate me too fast my sphincter muscle will spasm which creates pain so badly that i can't process it. Blind white pain. but generally it feels pleasant and enjoyable. Thanks. I wasn't so much looking for a description as a (perhaps too simple?) comparison to a known pain in the same area. I can't think of any other known pain in the same area than the BM example though. Although, if I were to compare the pain I felt in the recent BM, it 'was' a quick, sharp, kind of "white pain" that forced me to squeeze down harder to minimize my sphincter to alleviate it. It went away instantly, so I guess I'd call that a 'sharp' pain as opposed to a dull pain like a headache. Also it was localized to a single spot, the sphincter, and nowhere else. The only alleviation was to squeeze down to minimize the opening and to finish the job at hand. Then the pain totally disappeared! Is 'that' what it feels like?

Alecta -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 1:31:16 PM)
Arousal and headspace makes a big difference in how our bodies feel about different sensations and how our minds process it, and this varies between individuals. Of course, anal experience plays largely into it too. The closest equivalence to experiencing it is, sadly, to try for yourself. Until we develop psy-tech, anyway. I THINK what you're on about is binding a man and woman together forcing them to keep a doubledildo in their asses at the same time? It seems awfully problematic to penetrate two holes with one attached penis at the same time...

Buzzzz -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 1:35:00 PM)
I would doubt that is feels the same as your "bm" like you call it , only comes out once. Anal sex, the cock (or dildo, or baseball bat, or whatever is used), usually goes in and out multiple times, fast or slow , deep or shallow. I doubt it is the same sensation at all. Most time I fuch her ass , she has a "sharp pain 1st" maybe the "white pain" that you talk about , then after a short while , it turns into moans and oh yeahs, and "oh my god's", and then deeper , please deeper. etc, etc, etc....

DesFIP -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 2:14:56 PM)
Rape and consensual sex have nothing in common. Even if they both involve the same part of the body. Have you ever had penetrated a loving partner anally? Or is the only way you can imagine doing it to people you don't care about? Because I'm getting that vibe. If so, then you need to work through your feelings on this more or decide not to engage in it. I'm also wondering how doing this would make you feel. Would it make you relive your experience, but this time adding in guilt at being the abuser? Because men who have been raped, can have many unexpected responses to doing this from the other side. I strongly suggest, if you haven't discussed this with a rape counselor, that you do. You don't want the person needing to safeword to be you.

Karmastic -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 2:36:55 PM)
quote: The situation between your constipation and being brutally ass fucked really can't be compared. bwaaa hahahahahahahahahahahahaha! I never thought in a million years I would see this sentence written. ps - i agree with your post.

Karmastic -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 2:46:44 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Longerthanyou quote: ORIGINAL: LadyPact Get a dildo and try it for yourself. I absolutely knew that was going to be said but, well, I don't want to say much, but I was abused once as a 9 year old ... and I vowed never ever ever would anything like that happen so I tried to ward that suggestion off by carefully choosing my words in the first post. That's another reason why the guy has to be submissive. If you see my profile, there is never ever going to be a penetration in me in any way shape or manner. So, while that would be a wonderful way to test out my theory, I have other problems that won't allow a direct test. Thanks for the suggestion though ... I think I'm saying too much so I may end up deleting these ... i think DesFIP alluded to this as well...sounds like your BDSM/kink fantasies are part of working out what happened when you were 9 (trying to re-take your power). i apologize for mentioning this, cus you didn't ask. but it seems like you have not worked through that trauma (therapy?). and, trying to use BDSM as a means to do that might not be the best path (for you or anyone). well, i don't know shit about it or you, just offering my own similar vibe (as DesFIPs).

LadyPact -> RE: New to kink: Wonder if a squicky question about anal bondage is appropriate? (5/5/2012 3:43:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Longerthanyou That's another reason why the guy has to be submissive. If you see my profile, there is never ever going to be a penetration in me in any way shape or manner. So, while that would be a wonderful way to test out my theory, I have other problems that won't allow a direct test. Thanks for the suggestion though ... I think I'm saying too much so I may end up deleting these ... Along with learning the definition of the word squick, it appears that you also need an education regarding the idea that only submissive people enjoy being penetrated anally. I have news for you. A person's orientation, either Dominant or submissive, does not change anything about the sensations of anal sex. Everybody has the same nerve endings in the anus, whether they choose to enjoy them or not. As for deleting posts, you can do so only for about an hour and even then, you can't delete the entire entry. All you can do is erase the text. After that hour is over, the only folks with the power to remove a post would be the Mods. I am sorry for what happened to you, but please don't allow that experience to control your life or your pleasures. Above all, don't let it hinder your education.

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