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fucktoyprincess -> RE: Little vs. BBW (5/7/2012 5:57:16 PM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: littlewonder
I have a couple of single girlfriends who list themselves on dating sites as petite when in reality they are bbws. To them, when they look in the mirror they don't see a bbw. They see their former selves or try to trick their minds into believing such.
But ya know, guys do it too. When I was single and I would meet guys face to face, 9 times out of 10 they were much much larger than they ever said and turns out their pic was about 10 years old.
Why do people do it? Because they figure that once you meet them face to face you'll be so enchanted by them that the weight won't matter to you when in reality, at least for me, it matters a whooooole lot.
This is very true - people figure when you meet them face to face it won't matter. The trouble is, if I come into a face-to-face like a coffee, I still have some mental image in my head based on how people described themselves (either from their profile, conversation about physical attributes or photos). And if people are vastly different from that mental image, I find that I have a hard time getting myself quickly oriented to the reality, even if I have no baseline objection to the issue at hand.
By this, I mean, while I have a preference for men who are a certain height and weight, I've dated across the spectrum on both dimensions. One of my long time BDSM partners was 5'11" and definitely carrying extra weight even for his height. But when we first corresponded (on the internet) he sent me a current photo. And so when we met in person, I knew exactly what kind of build he was going to have. And there were no surprises. We went on to have a really terrific relationship together. His weight was certainly not an ideal for me. But because I knew before we met what he looked like, and was so impressed by his correspondence with me, I was both excited to meet him, and fully prepared for his physical self.
In contrast, when a man claims to be something he is not, and I turn up, it is just too hard for me to get over my mental image going into the situation. In at least one instance, I have just had to say good-bye on the spot because the mis-representation was so egregious. And he had the audacity to say, "you're not even going to sit down to coffee", and I said, "no, I'm not." So generally speaking, I really feel it does not work to people's advantage to misrepresent.
Every now and again someone will downplay their good looks. It's always a pleasant surprise when someone does that. No question. And often a better strategy than going on about how "attractive" they are.
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