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Tyraen -> RE: misogyny in BDSM (5/15/2012 12:27:49 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
quote:
ORIGINAL: Tyraen
...but, in my opinion/experience at least, I feel like most of the time if someone is hating on someone else, whether it be racial sexual or whatever, it's really more they hate whatever situation that person put them in when they vent about it they usually talk in emotionally heavy and sweeping terms ; grievously miscommunicating their actual problem because they were mired in their emotions too hard to explain it right. It happens to literally everyone (Not least of all myself), and I think it's something we should all keep in mind when we see someone saying emotionally charging statements so we don't all assume everyone is racist or sexist or whatever-ist.
And everyone needs to vent. I pretty much vented my grievances in that big post I had because I was tired of people ignoring my respectul well thought out posts that address the issue quite nicely just so they can continue to revel in drama. Needing to vent isn't an excuse to be dramatic and narrow minded (which is why i usually apologize for such things when I'm venting IRL)
I don't like drama, and no sane person I know likes drama. So it bothers me to see issues where such things are perpetuated simply so people can argue for arguing's sake.
Actually, the racists I know, do not even bother to pay attention to the individual and that person's humanity. They simply see skin colour and hate. It's likely one of the most generic, possibly emotional, spewages of shit that ever comes out of their mouths.
People can ignore what you write at will. People will ignore for a variety of reasons. They may not like the look of your posts, wordy, colour of font, lack of paragraphs........are several reasons I ignore a post.
Based upon my life experiences, I will disagree with your opinion about drama. I work with men and two of them seem to attract it like fleas to an alley cat. A lot of people are addicted to drama. If there is none going on, they will create it. Yet, I don't see any of them as being insane. In fact, the reasons for their drama addictions are varied.
On here you will find, if you stick around, there are also varied reasons why people enter into these discussions/debates. You felt the need, you contributed. You posted with some small drama yourself when your post was not acknowledged as you would have liked.
C'est la vie!
This is about as far off topic as I'm going to go, but have you ever asked yourself if those two men you work with are of good character? Does the drama they wallow in and also create do anyone any good? Or is it just harmful.
I'd wager that it's probably much more harmful than helpful, since i've never encountered any drama that ever did any good for anyone, neither heard nor experienced personally. People "addicted" to drama are people who need to find something they are actually passionate and ambitious about, and are people who just really need to grow up.
and you're right, I did post some dramatic stuff here. But I did it as an exasperated attempt to show people that they care more about drama than they do about helping other's and being upstanding people. And since the topic was originally complaining about people who are selfish and ignorant, I found it extremely hypocritical of everyone responding in blatant agreement with the exact same traits they are bashing. So I made a nice post about how things are not always what they seem and that perspective can be tricked and it takes patience and determination to find out who people really are so we can better get along with each other and not have so much pointless conflict and hurt feelings (since this to ME seems like something that is universally desired)
I was promptly ignored, as if my post didn't even exist, and everyone continued on with their narrow minded opinions and perspectives instead of trying to be more understanding of others.
So I made something far more dramatic and inflammatory to prove that point, and it seems everyone took the bait so readily and easily.
My original reason for posting was to point out that people don't always truly mean what they say, and they will put up whatever front they feel will benefit them the most and fits their persona the best. A lot of the times they are wrong, as with those people who say very generalized statements about submissives and their roles, or how they hold cocky and arrogant attitudes because they believe it to be proper confidence. But they will never truly listen to someone talking down to them or chastising them for their behavior, they will only listen to an understanding voice who cares more about helping them than scolding them.
Maybe I am wrong, maybe all everyone in here wants to do is vent and complain... but I am a firm believer in this: Either work to change the problems of the world, or shut up about it. I vent all the time myself because everyone does need to vent every once in a while, but I do it with my friends because that's part of what friends are for. I don't complain on a message board to strangers without either asking for advice or trying to accomplish some goal, because who should care about that? My only reason for posting in this thread and others is to offer another point of view and get people to think more about what people are doing around them, because if we work to understand more about others around us, we can work to creating a more lasting harmony and a more educated society. And who can argue against that?
Just because someone seems cocky and arrogant online, doesn't mean that's who they are in real life, and it CERTAINLY doesn't mean they are misogynist.
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