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ORIGINAL: keme

Best to be done with the sort who wants you to cut ties... they are dangerous

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ORIGINAL: theRose4U
I think it's the skinned knees, bashed elbows and bloody noses from falling on our faces that can be some of the best if hardest earned lessons. Or at least that's the lie I firmy embrace

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ORIGINAL: wytchywoman

Hello to all,

I've recently had an experience that has made me question my good judgement (or lack of it). I was very impressed with a dominant and actually thought we might have some future together as a real life couple. As time went on and we chatted via instant message and voice though it appeared that he wanted me to cut off all contact with my former doms who are, and always will be good friends of mine.

Now, he wanted me to do this before we became real life and before he himself was willing to make a full time committment. He later claimed I misunderstood his intentions, but when I hestitated to do as he asked, he invented a reason to cut off all contact with me. He has since gone on to display overt behavior indicating that he's intent on "collecting" as many women as possible. I read this to mean that he's not really serious about any real life relationship at all but rather seems to be boosting his own ego by creating as much furor and directing as much attention as possible to himself.

Do any of you consider that a dominant who displays very little discrimination in their actions to be merely toying around or am I just reading too much into this, or is it your opinion that I'm just extremely gullible?

I know, of course, that no one can definitely answer that for me, but I'm just curious as to how this type of behavior on the part of a dominant might be interpreted by others. Thanks in advance if anyone has any opinions on this.

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ORIGINAL: LadiesBladewing

One comment that I have to make here is that we are in the process of judging a man after only hearing one side of this conversation. SR and myself have used isolation of a servant from other individuals in their life on a discretionary basis ourselves, and have kept more than one servant at a time as well (in fact, we often keep more than one servant at a time.) We have explored relationships with multiple individuals at the same time, and have exerted our leadership over servants after a very limited period of time. We have taken responsibility for servants' income, have told servants that they were not allowed to go to certain events or certain places, etc., all as a part of our guidance/leadership over their lives.

From the outside, and with only one perspective, the way that we handle things with our servants could be interpreted in ways that make us look like horrible people. While I can respect that the OP is upset by the situation, I think it is also important to recognize that a one-sided presentation of the situation, where the man in question is not in a position to defend himself without exposing himself to a whole -new- set of diatribes and retributions, is really no way to handle the situation. This is the reason that, in my earlier post, I made it clear that the best way to deal with situations like this is to walk away gracefully when one realizes that the situation is not one that is fulfilling and satisfying.

Many of us have ended up, in the course of our lives, in situations that are unpaletable. For many of us, those situations have not been limited to the Ds/Ms lifestyle. It is understandable to be sad for the loss, and to take time to grieve. It is also important to realize how one ended up in that situation, and what clues presented that could prevent one from ending up in the same situation again. This is why it is so important to take your time when getting involved in relationships. Set your standards, and set a pattern that is acceptable to you in terms of what you know about a person, and what you have to have in place before you will yield up yourself. This is the responsibility that belongs to each of us, no matter which side of the collar we rest on.

Da'Avatar ZWD


www.klashaan.org.

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ORIGINAL: wytchywoman

Thank you so much for you input, CreativeDominant. I've been mulling this over and over in my head for nearly two weeks now. I appreciate the insight that everyone is giving here but I'm still feeling like a naive fool to fall for something like this at my advanced age.

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

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ORIGINAL: wytchywoman

Thank you so much for you input, CreativeDominant. I've been mulling this over and over in my head for nearly two weeks now. I appreciate the insight that everyone is giving here but I'm still feeling like a naive fool to fall for something like this at my advanced age.

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Hey...I'm 51.  I was 44 when I fell for a submissive that I have mentioned in several of my older posts concerning relocation.  I bought into the whole thing over a two year span.  Imagine the sound of my jaw hitting the floor when after 2 yrs, she stated simply that things had changed in her life...she no longer saw us as having a future...best for ME to move on and let her do the same.  Took her about 10 minutes to say all that...

CreativeDominant,

You were 44 and she was how old?  I'm not sure that age matters that much, but what I am getting at is that...if you were much older than she was...then I can understand why after 2 years she called it quits. 

On the other hand, I've made the observation that, when someone is new to the scene at any age, they often behave like adolescents.  I think it must have something to do with the discovery of this lifestyle...sort of like the alcoholic that stopped growing emotionally when he or she began drinking.  In other words, they have to go back to when they first started drinking and begin again.

Interesting...






_____________________________

Dating sucks!

(in reply to CreativeDominant)

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ORIGINAL: wytchywoman

Don't ask. He has far too many promises in the dark to keep up with them all. It doesn't take much to talk, but it takes a lot to carry through on.  Don't count on the carry through and you won't be disappointed.

I wouldn't start with that if I were you. Not considering your track record when it comes to the way you treated me. Just a friendly word of advice. I've heard some other unflattering things about you too just recently. But then that's private, right?

Loki, Loki, Loki. I'm not flaming anyone. It's not worth my time. I have my own wof celebrating what I treasure. You do as you will, I will do as I will. I don't need your Lokiwood to celebrate the times of my life that are most important to me. Nice try on your part though while you attempted to maintain what you proclaimed to be your interest in me.

It took awhile for me to figure out that you weren't a bit sincere, but at least I have someone else to go home to that forgave me my indiscretion. I wish you the same good fortune. I really do.

Let it drop, now Loki. Before I mention what I know about you and your own past. You contacted ME when my profile stated I was owned. You shamelessly pursued me. You acted like a kid in a candy store. I have since seen you use the very same lines on these open forums that you used with me in private. Just drop it now. I am not looking for a fight. I just want to see that you don't continue along the same lines you did with me

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Original:Wulfchyld

Aww now wytchy, lets not start a flame war here. I just thought Lokiwood would be a great 8 year anniversary present. After 8 years of commitment and devotion it would be a very good outing, don't you think?

Yawn... I thought all the drama was on TNT. Your posts here seem to tell a different story than your other thread. I didn’t keep up with all of it but I am sure you pointed out to the community that you did in fact have an Owner that was not privy to your indiscretion right? Not to mention that your volatile post was about the fact you were asked to make all that clear to him right? Of course you wouldn’t imply that you were asked to end all communication because that would be just dishonest... oh wait; making new plans with another Dom behind your owners back was dishonest wasn’t it?

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ORIGINAL: twicehappy

And Now.......The Rest of the Storey!!!
 


Some of you may be unaware of this fact but any of you who have ever spoken to Loki probably know this. He is quite honest about them; to the point that more than a few of us were even aware his wife was ill recently and that his six year old has a domly personality already.

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ORIGINAL: twicehappy

Thank you desertdancer, i think this was one of those very witch hunts mistoferin was speaking of in her thread.

As we both have now pointed out, cm members are not stupid and hate to have their trust misused for the OP's personal validation.

In this case the witch hunt just backfired on the hunter.

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I really hope this doesnt have to do with the whole  "other"  situation  thats been going on, because making everything out to be a one side fault where there is obvious faults on both sides of this fence is foul in My opinion.
 
There are Thee sides to every story - one side - the other side- then the truth.... 
 

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ORIGINAL: OhBeMyMind

Was this information he posted in a public forum?

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  How many is "more than a few" anyway?

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Just the way you wrote it sounds like it was not something that was posted publicly.

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And if that is the case, you have taken it upon yourself to do so...why?  And you consider yourself his friend?

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Is this your way of letting everyone know that you are a part of his circle of friends, one of his confidants?

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I realize I might be way off here.  I am commenting to how it reads is all; "more than a few of us were even aware".

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ORIGINAL: Reflectivesoul

Out of all the people to get bashed on here this is just a shame, Loki has been good to a lot of people and I'm glad to call Him My friend... 

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ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

Hey...I'm 51.  I was 44 when I fell for a submissive that I have mentioned in several of my older posts concerning relocation.  I bought into the whole thing over a two year span.  Imagine the sound of my jaw hitting the floor when after 2 yrs, she stated simply that things had changed in her life...she no longer saw us as having a future...best for ME to move on and let her do the same.  Took her about 10 minutes to say all that...

You can become bitter and jaded and cynical...or you can become more cautious while still leaving yourself open.  I chose the latter...and haven't been disappointed that I did.

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ORIGINAL: twicehappy

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ORIGINAL: OhBeMyMind

Was this information he posted in a public forum?

During the course of many posts the fact that he was married and had children was mentioned.

If you follow the boards you know he is planning an bdsm/cm/biker event at his home; Exactly how do you think if his wife was unaware of either his sexual proliclivities or his lifestyle friends do you think he was going to hide all those people and their sexual orientation from her? Not to mention my owners and myself have extended and also received invitations to visit each others homes as well.

This seems to belie wytchys statement that his wife or other cm members are unaware of each other.

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  How many is "more than a few" anyway?

from Webster's: few; more than a couple or more than two

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Just the way you wrote it sounds like it was not something that was posted publicly.

See above statement.

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And if that is the case, you have taken it upon yourself to do so...why?  And you consider yourself his friend?

First of this is not the case except perhaps with regards to her being ill. Secondly if Loki has an issue with that  he can bring it to my attention and i will apologize to him.

Yes i consider him a friend and that would be WHY; To bring attention to the facts i stated throughout my post, that not at any point in time did he ever attempt to conceal the infomation that he was accused of concealing.

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Is this your way of letting everyone know that you are a part of his circle of friends, one of his confidants?

Why would i feel the need to do this? To me (i am collared, twice exactly and very happy with my owners) Loki is a fellow biker as well as a fellow lifestyler, we have much in common, we even practise pretty much the same religion. You are making it sound like i was bragging i blew George Bush, instead of clearing the name of a friend.

Why do you feel the need to question my motives, i do not remember appointing anyone here to be my conscience.

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I realize I might be way off here.  I am commenting to how it reads is all; "more than a few of us were even aware".

It reads that way because that is the way it is. Are you questioning this because you were unaware?

I made this post to call attention to the motives of the original OP, clear a friends name and so that the people who posted here were aware that deception was being used to garner their support and sympathy, no one likes to be made an ass out of.