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RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/9/2012 10:43:13 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

I don't go for men more than a couple of years younger than me.

The reason has nothing to do with kink and everything to do with compatibility. I want someone with the same life experiences as me. I want someone who has 'been there, seen it, done that', not someone who has only just started out on his life's journey.

In addition to this: I wanted someone that was in the same place in their life, as I was in mine and had similar goals for their life.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to myotherself)

Post #: 21

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/9/2012 11:37:54 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

I am a mature submissive female and I've dated men younger than me. I found they could keep up with me better in "certain" areas.

But after my last relationship with a much younger man, I find now that I am more likely to be interested in the same age or a bit older. After so many years with someone who was very immature emotionally, I feel it is in my best interests to be with someone who "gets" where I am in life; I find that a lot of the younger men who approach me are simply buying into the whole "cougar" thing and the fantasy aspect of older women.

I prefer someone now who wants to connect with an equal with equal life experience.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 5/9/2012 11:39:02 AM >

(in reply to OsideGirl)

Post #: 22

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/9/2012 12:01:30 PM

fucktoyprincess

Posts: 2337
Status: offline

I've dated across the spectrum in terms of not just age, but gender, race, ethnicity, you name it.

At the end of the day, I am attached to the overall package that someone has to offer - looks, personality, intelligence, BDSM role/interests etc. in terms of how well those match up with my own. And I have found the appropriate mix, for me, sometimes in people who are older than me, sometimes younger, but generally speaking people within 5-10 years of my age (younger or older) because we are the same generation, and it just means some of our experiences are similar and that makes for an easier relationship.

Things I look for independent of age - I love fitness myself, so I enjoy being with people who are also fit - if someone is 25 and not fit, they will be less interesting to me than someone older than me who is fit. I have always been an old soul, so I really value maturity - and I have discovered that maturity is not actually correlated with age. So sometimes a younger "old soul" like myself when I was younger, is a great match, but someone older who is still maturing is not. I am happy to play with someone relatively inexperienced, as long as they demonstrate a mature willingness to really learn and understand, but that could be someone who is older who recently got introduced to BDSM, just as easily as it could be someone younger than me. I could go on with examples, but the point is that age is really just a number for some of us. But that doesn't mean that the rest of the things that I am looking for aren't important to me. My perspective only - because with a question like this, it only ever can be personal perspective.

_____________________________

~ ftp

(in reply to NJDragon65)

Post #: 23

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/9/2012 3:44:46 PM

AngelOfSilence

Posts: 119
Joined: 5/8/2012
Status: offline

quote:

Really?

Yes. I'm surprised that you haven't figured that out yet.

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My lack of concern for your sensibilities knows no bounds.

(in reply to thishereboi)

Post #: 24

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/9/2012 4:42:21 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

I don't regret making an exception to my "No 20-somethings" rule for a Rhodes Scholar. You, Sir, are no Rhodes Scholar.

I'd also make an exception for a 20-something with demonstrable off-line experience - for example, a presenter at a BDSM event would get major points.

(in reply to NJDragon65)

Post #: 25

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/9/2012 4:51:43 PM

Baroana

Posts: 1480
Joined: 11/13/2011
Status: offline

To the OP:

What in the world do you believe you have to offer a woman ten or twenty years older than you?

Your answer must not be phrased in the form of "I can ___ her with a ___"

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 26

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/9/2012 6:27:20 PM

sweetkasia

Posts: 5
Joined: 2/10/2012
Status: offline

very well spoken , i am impressed ,and in kind agree with alot of what you have said. Age has never been an issue for me , one of my closest confidants is 24, very wise for a young man, who makes me think. The hardest thing for me is when there is play involved, i like to know that the one who is whipping me has the experience, knowledge and control to know how to get to me where it is i have to go, and the common sense to stop when i have arrived

(in reply to RaspberryLemon)

Post #: 27

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/9/2012 6:50:19 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: mysouldesire

I do not care about experience . . . .if you are experienced, prove it in the way you email or chat.

MSD
[/font]

How do you prove experience by the way you email or chat? Because for most of us, cyber play doesn't count towards experience.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to mysouldesire)

Post #: 28

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/9/2012 7:35:28 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I think you can read between the lines if somebody has real experience or just has cyber experience, world of difference

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 29

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/9/2012 8:10:57 PM

mummyman321

Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline

I have to agree the LC, if they do not have RT experience it will be pretty evident within 2 or 3 emails or chats.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 30

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/10/2012 7:03:27 AM

mysouldesire

Posts: 85
Joined: 11/28/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

quote:

ORIGINAL: mysouldesire

I do not care about experience . . . .if you are experienced, prove it in the way you email or chat.

MSD

How do you prove experience by the way you email or chat? Because for most of us, cyber play doesn't count towards experience.

Toshay! You got me there....explanation follows:
Experience, the way I used it, does not refer to play. BUT~ We all must learn somehow, someway on someone.
I was referring to life experience. If one has a profile similiar to the one the OP has (he's probably changed it by now), emailing and chat is gonna be like "speaking" with a tween not an adult.
Intelligent conversation, expression of needs, desires, etc...COMMUNICATION.... tells a LOT about an individual.

Now since you thought only of cyber crap, then good for you. I was under the impression one emails and chats for communication.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 31

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/10/2012 7:29:22 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

Since this is your first post, I will smile at the mods and welcome you to the discussion side of CM.

Why are older women rejecting you outright? B/c you do not have the maturity level they seek. How do I know this? If you did have it, you would not start your posting history here in this forum with a whine. (And you would not have whiny crap on your profile or journal entries.)

Also, you would understand online rp does not equate with real time experience.

As someone else has mentioned, your primary pic may be a serious violation of those two other people's right to privacy. Did you get their permission to put their pics all over a kinky website? And the sub you are dragging around by the leash looks like a scared bunny. You look like a macho asshat. Sorry, my opinion and all.

If you were *really* the magnificent dom you profess to be, your sub would have her chin raised high, proud to be walking behind you, not cowed like a baby bunny.

All this is JMO, YMMV, yada yada yada.

_____________________________

(in reply to NJDragon65)

Post #: 32

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/10/2012 9:23:56 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5169
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

You prefer older women and you are entitled to your preference. I prefer men my own age and I am entitled to that. It's not that I don't believe you could be an experienced young Dominant. I know a Dominant younger than you who I respect. However, I would not want a D/s or M/s relationship with him, no matter how much wonderful a Dominant he is.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to NJDragon65)

Post #: 33

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/10/2012 1:16:15 PM

Char2688

Posts: 151
Joined: 4/16/2012
Status: offline

The simplest answer is probably correct
It could be that the submissive female profiles you are looking at are really men pretending to be submissive women
They will meet with no one
They will never send a proof pic
They want online only

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 34

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/13/2012 7:52:10 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Did anyone else notice that the young, but mature "dom" didn't come back to respond to his own thread?

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Char2688)

Post #: 35

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/14/2012 6:41:43 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline

~Fast Reply~

I'm the youngest of 5 kids. I grew up surrounded by people who were older than me, and tend to relate to them more, even if just culturally (music, movies, cultural trends, etc.).

Further, I'm not all that interested in someone's "lifestyle experience." Does his personality draw me to him? Does his dominant nature compel my attention? Does his character match my own? I need to trust him to manage my life, after all. Those are the things that are important to me. When you strike someone in such a way, my guess is age and years of experience will be further down on her list of priorities.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 36

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/14/2012 10:14:56 AM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Age does not really matter to me, what matters is mindset, life experience and general compatibility.

By life experience no I do not mean how long you have been in the lifestyle, I mean things you have experienced, the events that have shaped you as a person.

My Owner is 41, 11 years older than me with roughly 20 years practicing this life, his experience outstrips mine by a long shot as I started at 18 exploring in the "real world" (I don't really count the online exploration before that as I find the two really don't compare, for me)

Prior to being with him, I spent 6 months with a 19 year old Dom who was just setting out, he learnt a lot from me and I learnt from him, a new way of looking at things and I found the experience refreshing and actually learnt a lot about myself... the relationship did not last but we remain good friends..

My point is that age/experience don't matter to me anywhere near as much as overall compatability.

Whining and Bitching are not appealing traits in ANYONE, old or young.

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation... I can find the way all by myself!

(in reply to NuevaVida)

Post #: 37

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/14/2012 11:26:16 AM

Englishcrumpet

Posts: 43
Joined: 2/28/2012
Status: offline

for me personally, when a guy about youre age writes to me all i can think about is that theyre looking for someone older to give them confidence, experience and milleage and im not at all interested in that. its not even flattering to be honest.

(in reply to mysouldesire)

Post #: 38

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/14/2012 4:06:30 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline

OP - when looking for a dom after my first master died, i looked for those younger than myself - and why? Because there was a better chance that he wouldn't tip up his toes and die on me. Been there , did that , and don't want to do it again! ...... but 24? Bit much for me, since i have kids older than that.

Perhaps you should re-evaluate your target audience and market yourself towards them more......

(in reply to mysouldesire)

Post #: 39

RE: For Mature Submissive Females - 5/15/2012 1:12:51 AM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NJDragon65
What is it that makes so many Submissive females depend on a Dom's age to decide weather or not they are worthy of consideration... I'm particularly interested in hearing what older subs have to say on the matter because I prefer older submissives myself...

Everyone is entitled to their preferences, including you. I prefer older men because they seem wiser, and also because the disparity in age is a turn on, the same way that a disparity in strength, or intelligence, is a turn on. It makes me feel overpowered.

Pam

_____________________________

[link] www.youtube.com/watch?v=DlvDnbFOkYY [/link]

(in reply to NJDragon65)

Post #: 40

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