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RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 5:55:05 PM

wittynamehere

Posts: 759
Joined: 2/5/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CougarRick
Does the idea of a large age gap appeal to dommes?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CougarRick
I asked a question and you didn't bother to address it but rather came here to tell me what you thought of my profile?

Your question is worded so that the only possible answer is "sometimes". Rather than dozens of posts simply saying "sometimes" in response, the members of the site decided to give you some pointers on your (terrible) profile.
Perhaps you should try asking a question that has more than one possible answer next time? I find many people here to be very literal in their posting. You asked if dommes like much-younger submissives, which is like asking if men like bowling, if kids like sitting on Santa's lap, or if pets like chasing a thrown stick.

Some do, some don't.

Next?

_____________________________

I almost never return to a thread, so if you saw my post and want me to hear your reply, please message it to me.

(in reply to CougarRick)

Post #: 41

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 8:58:15 PM

MissImmortalPain

Posts: 2440
Joined: 4/1/2011
Status: offline

You are welcome, though you really shouldn't have to thank me. You asked a question and I answered it. That is why people post on forums. You said you want to stick around as far as the forums go and I suggest you do just that. If you have a question...ask it. Read all the answers and use what is actually helpful while ignoring the rest.

_____________________________

It is always by way of pain that we arrive at pleasure.

We must all go through a right of passage,and it must be physical, it must be painful,and it must leave a mark.

(in reply to CougarRick)

Post #: 42

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 10:09:20 PM

subbyinlosangele

Posts: 117
Joined: 1/23/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CougarRick

I started off on a bad foot because of my profile, and despite my clarifying the issue and pointing out that I meant no offense, the thread has degraded into a flaming session. Again, I'm trying to move on and be constructive here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maturity is important. You might wish to cultivate some. [/color][/size][/font]

1. If you think this a flaming session, you're not going to enjoy yourself here because this is pretty mild.

2. If you start a thread, or even respond in one, some people are going to look at your profile, and they won't hesitate to comment on your profile if it is germane to the discussion.

3. Just because you start a thread, that doesn't mean you own the thread, control the thread, or can dictate how others can or should respond. People will do what they want.

4. Lighten up. Basically, you started a dopey thread here and you got your chops busted. Happens.

(in reply to CougarRick)

Post #: 43

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 10:23:28 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CougarRick

Look, I do want to remain here and learn a bit about the culture as I am very new to it. I came here having tried a few other discussion/chat/RP sites and wanted to explore a bit here. How at this stage do I move on at this site and be able to contribute to discussions?

You just keep contributing to discussions, start posts, but maybe read the FAQs first, then (dare I say it) reword your profile a bit, grow a thick skin and you just talk to people. Trust me, I met a lot of super nice people on this site, there are great people around, if you are open to meet them just as people and not as potential dates or hook ups, not saying that you do, but just trying to tell you what works best.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to CougarRick)

Post #: 44

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 10:31:32 PM

CougarRick

Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline

I think it has something to do with the emotional dominance. The idea that she can be in control, not just sexually, but in all interactions. I like the idea of her being in a position to play me a bit, make me need her affection.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Baroana

Why are you so set on an older woman anyway?

(in reply to Baroana)

Post #: 45

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 10:34:40 PM

CougarRick

Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline

I'm really here more for an understanding of the domme sub culture and a feel for the larger community. As for the thick skin, I was honestly not offended, just flustered that my thread had gone nowhere. You had a fair point in your criticism, and I can't deny that.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

ORIGINAL: CougarRick

Look, I do want to remain here and learn a bit about the culture as I am very new to it. I came here having tried a few other discussion/chat/RP sites and wanted to explore a bit here. How at this stage do I move on at this site and be able to contribute to discussions?

You just keep contributing to discussions, start posts, but maybe read the FAQs first, then (dare I say it) reword your profile a bit, grow a thick skin and you just talk to people. Trust me, I met a lot of super nice people on this site, there are great people around, if you are open to meet them just as people and not as potential dates or hook ups, not saying that you do, but just trying to tell you what works best.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 46

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 10:36:10 PM

CougarRick

Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline

OK. Point taken.

quote:

ORIGINAL: subbyinlosangele

quote:

ORIGINAL: CougarRick

I started off on a bad foot because of my profile, and despite my clarifying the issue and pointing out that I meant no offense, the thread has degraded into a flaming session. Again, I'm trying to move on and be constructive here.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Maturity is important. You might wish to cultivate some. [/color][/size][/font]

1. If you think this a flaming session, you're not going to enjoy yourself here because this is pretty mild.

2. If you start a thread, or even respond in one, some people are going to look at your profile, and they won't hesitate to comment on your profile if it is germane to the discussion.

3. Just because you start a thread, that doesn't mean you own the thread, control the thread, or can dictate how others can or should respond. People will do what they want.

4. Lighten up. Basically, you started a dopey thread here and you got your chops busted. Happens.

(in reply to subbyinlosangele)

Post #: 47

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 10:36:49 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Fair point BUT, you don't seem to like that all that much when it comes to non-sexual interactions, so would you really deal with it that well in real life of would it become old and rather annoying fairly quick?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CougarRick

I think it has something to do with the emotional dominance. The idea that she can be in control, not just sexually, but in all interactions. I like the idea of her being in a position to play me a bit, make me need her affection.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to CougarRick)

Post #: 48

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 10:48:28 PM

CougarRick

Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline

Well, I may have just gottem flustered. I have only been on a few sites, but this is the first time I became "that guy".

Would I handle it? I think it would be a bit like an addiction. Maybe hurtful at times, but at the same time I feel I would have more comfort with a woman who occasionally just found me frustrating, and who's affection I had to earn. It seems crazy, wanting to be on the losing side of a one sided relationship, but I don't entirely see it as one sided. I like the idea that she can dangle her approval or affection in front of my nose, like bait and make me do what she wants. We eat what she wants, go see the movies she wants, and sex is always about her needs..etc. The idea that she can be kind and gentle, but at the same time reminds me occasionally that she is used to men and not teens, and that I have more to lose by a breakup than she does. Her affection is not unconditional and has to be earned.

Sort of like the cycle of abuse. Sometimes she is harsh, and sometimes she is kind. Yes I know, this sounds ridiculous but I do like it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Fair point BUT, you don't seem to like that all that much when it comes to non-sexual interactions, so would you really deal with it that well in real life of would it become old and rather annoying fairly quick?

quote:

ORIGINAL: CougarRick

I think it has something to do with the emotional dominance. The idea that she can be in control, not just sexually, but in all interactions. I like the idea of her being in a position to play me a bit, make me need her affection.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 49

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 11:05:45 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

It doesn't sound ridiculous, but a fantasy and reality are often significantly different.

Now when it comes to virginity, you possibly place a lot more importance on yours than most women will, you're not going to bleed, it won't be painful, when it feels right, go for it, there will always be time to explore... And you know what you attribute to older woman - some younger women might just have that figured out too, to use your sexuality to get what they want and how they want it...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to CougarRick)

Post #: 50

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 11:12:11 PM

CougarRick

Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
It doesn't sound ridiculous, but a fantasy and reality are often significantly different.

I guess that is always the risk.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Now when it comes to virginity, you possibly place a lot more importance on yours than most women will, you're not going to bleed, it won't be painful,

Yikes! OK, I guess there are worse things than being a guy on his first try having a hair trigger (my biggest fear)

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
when it feels right, go for it, there will always be time to explore...

THank you. I feel right I think. I just haven't broached how to delicately find an older woman who actually doesn't mind inexperience

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
And you know what you attribute to older woman - some younger women might just have that figured out too, to use your sexuality to get what they want and how they want it...

True, but I think from an emotional aspect, I would feel more comfortable with an older woman

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 51

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 11:18:01 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Right, go to a singles bar in your area, chances are that a lot of women will be there who have been ditched for a younger model and they just want to boost their self-esteem and show they can still attract a much younger guy...

As for hair trigger, yeah, that might be one of the reasons that women usually do prefer guys who are a bit older, but look on the bright side, you might not last that long the first round, but at your age there will be the 2nd and 3rd round...

In general when it comes to fantasies, to avoid the shock of reality it's a good idea to work your way towards the fantasy in small steps...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to CougarRick)

Post #: 52

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 11:28:29 PM

CougarRick

Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Right, go to a singles bar in your area, chances are that a lot of women will be there who have been ditched for a younger model and they just want to boost their self-esteem and show they can still attract a much younger guy...

Not sure I want the first time to be with a complete stranger (although it sounds hot in fantasy). Your idea sounds good though, in the sense that it could be a starting point.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
but look on the bright side, you might not last that long the first round, but at your age there will be the 2nd and 3rd round...

Good point. At least my viagra years are a long way off.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
In general when it comes to fantasies, to avoid the shock of reality it's a good idea to work your way towards the fantasy in small steps...

Yeah, I think that may be the way I'll take it. As I get to better understand the domme/sub community here, I may move on to finding out about local ones in my area and see where that leads. I do want romance and affection to be there as I want the experience to be both emotional and physical, so if I do fnd such a community here I will start slow.

Thanks

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 53

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 11:45:12 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

Time for a bit of home truth, as women get older so do their bodies, trust me, my arse is in the same place (meaning above the ground) as it was when I was a teen, but now I actually got to work to fight the pull of gravity, I will lose in the end but I'm giving it the best fight I can. Would you be able to deal with that? The benefits of getting older is realizing that a line here or there is not defining us, but we still don't really like the lines. So getting involved with somebody much younger, even if that person is mature for his age, might be that he develops a yearning for a younger body, somebody who doesn't have to work out to be taunt. Will you be able to look over the ravages time wrecks? Will you be able to give a woman the emotional stability she wants? You know at a certain point you realize that staying out all night and partying is fine, but it really messes with your looks and the way you feel the next 2 or 3 days. You might still want the party experience...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to CougarRick)

Post #: 54

RE: Younger subs - 5/13/2012 11:58:45 PM

CougarRick

Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline

I realize that an older woman would show the signs of aging first, but I think if the relationship were strong it would survive that. Pride and self esteem are actually attractive in themselves. Pride in the sense that I find it sexy when a person cares enough to work out, even if it is a losing battle. It will happen to me too, but like yourself I do not intend to let it go without a fight.

Self esteem is big too. I find women tend to be as sexy as they feel (I know that sounds stupid). I've seen women in their 40's and even 50's who showed signs of aging, yet they carried themselves with such supreme confidence that it was actually phenominally attractive. It's when she starts viewing herself as unnattractive and starts carrying herself as someone who is "undesirable" that her age truly shows. I know that sounds corny, but self confidence is sexy in a way that can compensate for the losing battle of time.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Time for a bit of home truth, as women get older so do their bodies, trust me, my arse is in the same place (meaning above the ground) as it was when I was a teen, but now I actually got to work to fight the pull of gravity, I will lose in the end but I'm giving it the best fight I can. Would you be able to deal with that? The benefits of getting older is realizing that a line here or there is not defining us, but we still don't really like the lines. So getting involved with somebody much younger, even if that person is mature for his age, might be that he develops a yearning for a younger body, somebody who doesn't have to work out to be taunt. Will you be able to look over the ravages time wrecks? Will you be able to give a woman the emotional stability she wants? You know at a certain point you realize that staying out all night and partying is fine, but it really messes with your looks and the way you feel the next 2 or 3 days. You might still want the party experience...

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 55

RE: Younger subs - 5/14/2012 12:07:26 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I agree with you, but again, men's bodies are so different and your skin is thicker, so you don't have the problem with lines and wrinkles that much, you have less body fat, no worries about stretch marks unless you are obese...

Then there are hormones, PMS, then if you go further maybe menopause, which might slow down her sex drive while yours is still peeking. Don't buy into the Hollywood idea of the cougar, most women just do not have the time and money Demi Moore has to look like she does, most also do not have the body and face that got her there in the first place...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to CougarRick)

Post #: 56

RE: Younger subs - 5/14/2012 12:16:54 AM

CougarRick

Posts: 288
Joined: 5/5/2012
Status: offline

I guess it comes down to accepting that no relationship ever equates to fantasy. Real life has a heck of a lot of reality. I realize that nobody can be as perfcet as fantasy, but then I suppose that if I have a bad case of hair trigger it won't exactly fulfil her fantasy either. If the chemistry is there I think it would work still.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I agree with you, but again, men's bodies are so different and your skin is thicker, so you don't have the problem with lines and wrinkles that much, you have less body fat, no worries about stretch marks unless you are obese...

Then there are hormones, PMS, then if you go further maybe menopause, which might slow down her sex drive while yours is still peeking. Don't buy into the Hollywood idea of the cougar, most women just do not have the time and money Demi Moore has to look like she does, most also do not have the body and face that got her there in the first place...

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 57

RE: Younger subs - 5/14/2012 12:24:46 AM

hangemhigh1953

Posts: 245
Joined: 7/8/2011
Status: offline

I know a lot of people here say no to the large age gaps but I can maybe give you a little hope, I'm currently with someone older than myself and we have a pretty healthy relationship going.

_____________________________

"Chains of love got a hold on me,
when passion's a prison you can't break free"

(in reply to CougarRick)

Post #: 58

RE: Younger subs - 5/14/2012 12:29:39 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

I'm currently with somebody younger than myself and have been for close to 10 years, the age gap is only 5 years, but still I would hesitate to make that the rule and we had plenty of stones in the road.

Not trying to discourage him, but the more he is aware what the problems are, the more he can make an informed choice

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to hangemhigh1953)

Post #: 59

RE: Younger subs - 5/14/2012 9:08:31 AM

forcedsensuality

Posts: 70
Joined: 4/27/2012
Status: offline

i casually started a discussion here and i'd just casually whipped up a profile, to get in ..

i got a similar reaction to you, largely down to my obviously cavalier profile .. it's so easy to confuse throw-away humour and arrogance when you're just treating the profile like a hoop to pop through, a tedious form to fill out .. that's what happened with me anyway

i changed my profile .. more about me, more honest ,.. made sure i did not appear to have an attitude about stuff i didn't know much about .. and that included a few things in the first profile that would have been grating to the specific group of people who regularly use this forum (who i didn't have a clue about, even though i just assumed they'd dig my edgy humour)

i had a bdsm fantasy through my teenage years which i confused with my regular male sex drive (to have a regular good hard fuck with a sexy horny woman my own age) .. so i was very repressed .. woman could tell i was a virgin, but which secret should i tell them, the regular one or the perverse one ? since i felt i had a slightly more socially laughable little secret than regular guys my age this confounding of sex drive and fantasy kept me on the shelf a couple of years longer than i should have been .. it stopped me loosening up and relaxing about sex stuff .. it really held me back !!

i'd seriously suggest to you that you keep your imagination wide open and make sure to think about ALL the possibilities out there when you masturbate .. don't lock yourself into a one-trick position or lock yourself out of the big make-out party that your late teens/early twenties should be .. don't think about it too much, don't fantasise about what you think you want, just get out there and fit in with some other young person who wants to get laid, .. the easy obvious regular stuff you can assume others will be into ..

don't plan it, don't restrict yourself if you don't know what sex you really like yet.. just get out there and you will find yourself doing it one day

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 60

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