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ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Not trying to discourage him, but the more he is aware what the problems are, the more he can make an informed choice

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ORIGINAL: forcedsensuality
i had a bdsm fantasy through my teenage years which i confused with my regular male sex drive (to have a regular good hard fuck with a sexy horny woman my own age) .. so i was very repressed .. woman could tell i was a virgin, but which secret should i tell them, the regular one or the perverse one ? since i felt i had a slightly more socially laughable little secret than regular guys my age this confounding of sex drive and fantasy kept me on the shelf a couple of years longer than i should have been .. it stopped me loosening up and relaxing about sex stuff .. it really held me back !!
i'd seriously suggest to you that you keep your imagination wide open and make sure to think about ALL the possibilities out there when you masturbate .. don't lock yourself into a one-trick position or lock yourself out of the big make-out party that your late teens/early twenties should be .. don't think about it too much, don't fantasise about what you think you want, just get out there and fit in with some other young person who wants to get laid, .. the easy obvious regular stuff you can assume others will be into ..
don't plan it, don't restrict yourself if you don't know what sex you really like yet.. just get out there and you will find yourself doing it one day

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ORIGINAL: forcedsensuality

oh yeah, and why not try out a pro Domme ? maybe you like her website ?
.. see if you really like it

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ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna11

Or join a BDSM program in your area Seattle has one called The Wet Spot (name changed now) that has the rooms classes and social events.

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ORIGINAL: CougarRick

OK, my question will display my complete ignorance about these groups, so please try to understand if my comments/questions does actually come across as such.

Basically, I would be looking to meet one individual, who would be interested in something more long term. Not looking for one night flings at this stage of my life, and certainly not looking for group orgy stuff. Can a person go there, not participate in any sexual stuff and just get to know people and start slow?

Again, if my comment reeks of any stereotypes or such, please take it as innocent ignorance and not intentional rudeness.

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ORIGINAL: CougarRick

Uhm, it's not just aboyt a sexual desire. I have long felt that I would feel a greater emotional bond with an older woman than I could with someone my own age. In reality, I realize that this is very slim, so I think I'm setting my sights on sex as that is probably the most likely option. Some women may go cougar on a young guy, but I can't see a woman in her late 20's to early 40's wanting to be seen in public with a guy my age, or to invite me to a party at her office. Professional women probably don't like their co-workers making jokes about "babysitting" when they are dating a guy.

Don't get me wrong, I would love to meet an older woman who would actually be willing to talk, spend long hours, let me rub her feet...etc, but that is even less likely to happen than sex I imagine. I suspect however that a discrete relationship, where I am her "secret" might be the closest I can get. For personal reasons however, I think I would feel more comfortable if she didn't try to treat me like an equal, but had some kind of authority or control in the relationship. I'm not talking about walking around on a leash or anything, I'm just talking about her being in charge, deciding where we go, when we spend time together, when we have sex, and how and basically doing things on her terms.

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(legal but barely)

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ORIGINAL: LadyPact



Nobody is going to grab you and fuck you on a table at a munch.  I promise.

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ORIGINAL: misterraymond

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(legal but barely)

Never this Master says:

In reverse Masters and women subs, this Master has known subs of 20year of age as experienced as a 40 year old, but care must be taken to avoid very young, women are more mature than men , but for a Master an ideal sub is mid 20s through to late 40s, but really to no upper age, what a woman can lack in labido she often excells spiritually.

MR

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

You want to be someone's secret? Have you looked at that Ashley Madison site? I think the notion is deplorable, but I can see where it might work if you just want a loose attachment.

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ORIGINAL: LadyPactRick, the way to combat ignorance is education.  Always has and always will be.[/color]

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Nobody is going to grab you and fuck you on a table at a munch. I promise.
[/color]

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ORIGINAL: CougarRick

My point was that I really don't want to be some womans loose attachment, but if that's the best I can get then hey. Unless you know of many grown women (late 20's-early 40's) who would feel comfortable actually bringing a guy my age to meet her co workers at an office function, or have me meet her family.

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

You want to be someone's secret? Have you looked at that Ashley Madison site? I think the notion is deplorable, but I can see where it might work if you just want a loose attachment.

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ORIGINAL: misterraymond

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(legal but barely)

Never this Master says:

In reverse Masters and women subs, this Master has known subs of 20year of age as experienced as a 40 year old, but care must be taken to avoid very young, women are more mature than men , but for a Master an ideal sub is mid 20s through to late 40s, but really to no upper age, what a woman can lack in labido she often excells spiritually.

MR

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ORIGINAL: AAkasha

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ORIGINAL: CougarRick

My point was that I really don't want to be some womans loose attachment, but if that's the best I can get then hey. Unless you know of many grown women (late 20's-early 40's) who would feel comfortable actually bringing a guy my age to meet her co workers at an office function, or have me meet her family.

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

You want to be someone's secret? Have you looked at that Ashley Madison site? I think the notion is deplorable, but I can see where it might work if you just want a loose attachment.

I was a cougar before it was pretty hip and trendy (hah)...always had a thing for "younger guys," so in my 30s when I had a successful career I really did like to have a very young guy (18 - 21) on my arm, it was a power trip. For dating it was ok, but maturity was always a must. And yes, I would bring a guy like that around to work functions, etc., but there were times when it was a mistake, clearly, because he wasn't quite ready for that kind of thing. I liked guys that were young but mature. I didn't mind "Grooming" them a little but they had to be sharp.

I enjoyed things like bringing them along on business trips, whatever. It was all part of the femdom/power/control/money with the young boy/hot eye candy thing I always wanted and busted my ass for in college. I eventually settled down but I did end up marrying a guy who was 22 when I was 32, but he was (and is) VERY mature for his age.

My suggestion is that you also consider experimenting with sites, etc that focus on "cougars" and "cubs." they even have cruises for cougars now. It's very trendy.

Akasha