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Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 9:43:03 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Before I ask the questions I am about to ask I want to be clear that I am asking this for the sake of debate only, and it is more an intellectual exercise than anything else, so here goes....

I am wondering if perhaps we submissives and dommes tend to overreact in some instances to the troll mail we receive. I have seen so many posts about HNGs, poorly written emails, emails requesting that we do certain things.. especially from those of us that are new to this site (I consider myself a newbie still and I too have complained of these things). Sometimes I wonder why women are so surprised that men would come to a site about alternative sexuality with personals on it and these men would think that perhaps we are sexually available. I know they should read our profiles, be respectful, try to be articulate, and respect our space... But isn't it kind of naive to think that they will do these things? Don't we know that by posting a profile on a site such as CM that some men will assume things about the women here? Many do not understand WIIWD, perhaps we expect too much from them?

On one level saying what I have above feels wrong to me because it is like blaming my fellow females for the abusive tripe that comes our way for expressing our sexuality... that is not my intention whatsoever. I am just asking if perhaps we are not a little naive to think that we can post sexy profiles with provocative pictures, and then next to this is a list of sexual interests that many of us have checked that we are into, and then not expect responses like we sometimes get. Am I unfair in thinking that we should expect this in the world we live in? The longer I am on CM the more I find certain emails have some entertainment value, and I am not even offended by anything sent to me anymore... perhaps my skin is already too thick and I am a tad jaded...lol

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

Post #: 1

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 9:46:10 PM

PrincessinLatex

Posts: 191
Joined: 7/4/2005
Status: offline

Excellent point!

At the end of the day. . .there are way more important things to sweat. I appreciate you being able to put this "pesky" issue into perspective.

P

_____________________________

If you are pervy and you know it, come visit me at ** Got Kink? **

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 2

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 9:47:40 PM

LRODANDMASTER

Posts: 161
Joined: 7/13/2005
Status: offline

HEY JUILAOCEANA DO U LIKE IT RUFF?

_____________________________

LRODANDMASTER TYPE LIKE DUMASS BUT HIM NO DUMASS

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 3

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 9:48:31 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LRODANDMASTER

HEY JUILAOCEANA DO U LIKE IT RUFF?

No.,.. I do not do dogs.... sorry

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to LRODANDMASTER)

Post #: 4

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 9:48:37 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

I just spammed you all with nekid pics and atrocious grammar!!! Muhahahhahaha

signed
Da Troll

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to PrincessinLatex)

Post #: 5

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 9:49:24 PM

Tikkiee

Posts: 1099
Joined: 4/6/2006
Status: offline

I think that most who have profiles and post on the site, have the realistic outlook that just by being here makes us...targets? for those who are looking only for a bit of a romp

For myself, I just take it in stride. Sure, sometimes it bothers me, but, WTF, it also gives me a chance to sharpen the razor that I have for a tongue

_____________________________

~~@ cass @~~

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 6

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 9:50:21 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

Boooooooooooooooooo!

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

ORIGINAL: LRODANDMASTER

HEY JUILAOCEANA DO U LIKE IT RUFF?

No.,.. I do not do dogs.... sorry

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 7

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 9:57:54 PM

lisa1978

Posts: 224
Joined: 5/19/2006
From: Kansas City
Status: offline

I think that in that both sexes have a problem in understanding of what makes the other tick. Men tend to seperate things and be more direct. Women tend to combine everything and have levels. Human nature then gets thrown into the mixture where it is just normal to believe ourselves as right and surround ourselves with people who think the same way. So when we get a bunch of messages from men that are too direct and to simple minded and men very rarely get messages or replies people get upset and frustrated and we vent in our own ways.

In my profile, journal entry and some replies here mention being positive and to take out frustrations in some other form then complaining about them on collar me. Troll mail is something you are going to receive no matter what. To complain and try to make it go away by pointing it out boldly in a profile is a waste of energy. We are what we are and will respond positively to what attracts us and nothing can really be done about that.

Yes, we do overact. It is not that we are wrong but they way we act out our frustration is a waste of energy and hurts or attitude. Better to just delete and stay positive. In the end, hopefully just a small price for possible great reward.

_____________________________

It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd be truly dead.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 8

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 10:05:03 PM

OhBeMyMind

Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline

Was this like some orgasmic epiphany????
Gawd.......As much as I hate to say it....yeah I agree with you, and for all intents and purposes I think you are right. We should expect it to some extent, yes. Damnit! LOL
But I can still delete and move on!!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Before I ask the questions I am about to ask I want to be clear that I am asking this for the sake of debate only, and it is more an intellectual exercise than anything else, so here goes....

I am wondering if perhaps we submissives and dommes tend to overreact in some instances to the troll mail we receive. I have seen so many posts about HNGs, poorly written emails, emails requesting that we do certain things.. especially from those of us that are new to this site (I consider myself a newbie still and I too have complained of these things). Sometimes I wonder why women are so surprised that men would come to a site about alternative sexuality with personals on it and these men would think that perhaps we are sexually available. I know they should read our profiles, be respectful, try to be articulate, and respect our space... But isn't it kind of naive to think that they will do these things? Don't we know that by posting a profile on a site such as CM that some men will assume things about the women here? Many do not understand WIIWD, perhaps we expect too much from them?

On one level saying what I have above feels wrong to me because it is like blaming my fellow females for the abusive tripe that comes our way for expressing our sexuality... that is not my intention whatsoever. I am just asking if perhaps we are not a little naive to think that we can post sexy profiles with provocative pictures, and then next to this is a list of sexual interests that many of us have checked that we are into, and then not expect responses like we sometimes get. Am I unfair in thinking that we should expect this in the world we live in? The longer I am on CM the more I find certain emails have some entertainment value, and I am not even offended by anything sent to me anymore... perhaps my skin is already too thick and I am a tad jaded...lol

_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 9

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 10:09:36 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I will tell you a little secret OhBeMyMind.,.. if you searched the archives for my posts, you would find me bitching about this with everyone else...shhhhhhh... I want to seem more enlightened than I really am... Oh Great Epiphany is Mine...LOLOLOL.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to OhBeMyMind)

Post #: 10

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 10:18:45 PM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

I am wondering if perhaps we submissives and dommes tend to overreact in some instances to the troll mail we receive. But isn't it kind of naive to think that they will do these things? Don't we know that by posting a profile on a site such as CM that some men will assume things about the women here? Many do not understand WIIWD, perhaps we expect too much from them?

I cut for brevity's sake.

I think there is a certain expectation from HNG's who come to sites like Collarme, that the women, regardless of orientation, are 'easy' pickings for their fantasy's. I think there is also a certain expectation from those who come to these sites and who are sincere in their desires that they will find what it is they are seeking. This is one of those cases where the 'twain actually do meet. By the time you've blocked and deleted your triple digit HNG from the email box, you can become a bit jaded and tend to respond more vehemently than you, perhaps, had intended or you just get disgusted at the whole shebang and start deleting right and left, perhaps passing by that one in a hundred who really does just want to get to know you for who you are rather than a quick piece of ass.

The main thing though.. is it deserved .. and to that I would answer.. no. No one deserves to be treated like a leftover Saturday night beer can. Being a HNG doesn't mean you get to set aside your adult status and act like a buffoon. It's not a free pass into a meat market. So, I make no excuses for them. The responsibility for behavior lies squarely on the individual shoulders of the member. That said, it's the Internet and such behavior is not confined to adult sites in any way. It happens simply everywhere where people gather for the purpose of meeting other people. The quicker we learn that lesson, the better off we'll be.

I don't think we should lower our standards. What purpose will it serve to do so? Save the feelings of a few hundred HNG's? No thanks. That's not my job. If someone is going to intrude into my mailbox, they take their chances because they are entering into 'my' universe. If I wanted to step into theirs, I can put on my Kevlar vest and do so.

Trolls are trolls.. there will always be trolls as long as there is electricity to run servers. I blame them .. not the people they try to pursue. Now, if you make a profile which is designed to attract trolls.. you shouldn't be surprised when they knock on the door. If the trolls come knocking on your door regardless of your profile, then I say take the shot gun and aim low.

Celeste

< Message edited by BitaTruble -- 6/5/2006 10:21:44 PM >

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 11

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 10:21:07 PM

OhBeMyMind

Posts: 845
Joined: 11/19/2004
From: Panama City, Florida
Status: offline

But dayammmm.....I feel foolish as hell now. Why couldn't you have this 'enlightenment' before I made comment after comment....something like...."Well it says in my profile Not Available...what part of this do you not understand?" When I could have been saying..."I know you want me, but you can't have me, I am just here to tease you....nah nah nah nah"

_____________________________

~oh

~*~I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not~*~

~she'll tease you, she'll unease you, all the better just to please you~ K.C

~Well would you look at that! My give-a-damn just broke~

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 12

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 10:36:46 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Like is too short to give a shit and the delete button is only a click away.

(in reply to OhBeMyMind)

Post #: 13

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 10:41:45 PM

Wulfchyld

Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline

HA!!!! Spammed ya agin.

Signed
Da Trol

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 14

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 10:42:59 PM

Clothespingirl

Posts: 82
Joined: 3/8/2006
Status: offline

Do we deserve trolls? Like you said, if I post a profile on a kinky site and mention my interest in kinky sex, I'm not going to get offended when men email me.

Sure, most of them aren't of interest to me... but that's life! One person's troll is another person's treasure!

(And on a side note, a man I'm dating now says he's been chastised by women because he didn't talk about sex in the initial email! Seems like the poor fellows can't win!)

I've received very few rude emails; most of them are merely clueless and a bit sad, somehow. Even though I label myself a "bitch", I can't see the fun in lashing out at someone who is lonely and socially deficient.

So I don't get bent out of shape when men I don't want email me, and I hope they don't get all bent out of shape if I can't think of an answer...

_____________________________

"Cheeky bitch"

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 15

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 10:56:34 PM

NCSilverWolves

Posts: 123
Joined: 5/31/2006
Status: offline

Guess i'm just at the point...I really don't care no more.....LOL

People are gonna do what they want...I just choose to ignore it.

_____________________________

Wisdom is knowing what to do next, Skill is knowing how to do it, and Virtue is doing it.

(in reply to Clothespingirl)

Post #: 16

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 11:09:58 PM

desertdancer

Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline

Personally, I can't be bothered to be upset about mail I get here, I think you'd have to expect to get mail coming to a place like this, you put up your profile, you list kinks and things you'd like to try, why bother yourself with getting upset if you get a few, or more emails that your not interested in? It's online, no-one can reach through your monitor and hurt you, or cause you harm, so there isn't any real threat, and beside if writing me a mail telling me to 'get on my knees now, whore' gives a couple of guys a thrill, well then so what * shrugs* I'm happy to oblige a couple of fantasies because sadly this might be the closest they get to a female...I wouldn't want to take that away from them.

Just my two cents, if my thoughts are worth even that * smiles*
~dancer

(in reply to NCSilverWolves)

Post #: 17

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/5/2006 11:17:08 PM

ownedgirlie

Posts: 9184
Joined: 2/5/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: CrappyDom

Like is too short to give a shit and the delete button is only a click away.

I'm definitely with you & True (Jess) at this point. Delete. Next?

(in reply to CrappyDom)

Post #: 18

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 4:48:40 AM

SirCumsSlut

Posts: 433
Joined: 4/30/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Before I ask the questions I am about to ask I want to be clear that I am asking this for the sake of debate only, and it is more an intellectual exercise than anything else, so here goes....

I am wondering if perhaps we submissives and dommes tend to overreact in some instances to the troll mail we receive. I have seen so many posts about HNGs, poorly written emails, emails requesting that we do certain things.. especially from those of us that are new to this site (I consider myself a newbie still and I too have complained of these things). Sometimes I wonder why women are so surprised that men would come to a site about alternative sexuality with personals on it and these men would think that perhaps we are sexually available. I know they should read our profiles, be respectful, try to be articulate, and respect our space... But isn't it kind of naive to think that they will do these things? Don't we know that by posting a profile on a site such as CM that some men will assume things about the women here? Many do not understand WIIWD, perhaps we expect too much from them?

On one level saying what I have above feels wrong to me because it is like blaming my fellow females for the abusive tripe that comes our way for expressing our sexuality... that is not my intention whatsoever. I am just asking if perhaps we are not a little naive to think that we can post sexy profiles with provocative pictures, and then next to this is a list of sexual interests that many of us have checked that we are into, and then not expect responses like we sometimes get. Am I unfair in thinking that we should expect this in the world we live in? The longer I am on CM the more I find certain emails have some entertainment value, and I am not even offended by anything sent to me anymore... perhaps my skin is already too thick and I am a tad jaded...lol

Delete, Delete, Delete.................You just gotta love that delete button...........For us to it has come to a point where we laugh at some of the mail sent to me (they do not approach Sir). And then I just wind up and hit that good ole DELETE button

I have to say no matter what site you join or what group you go visit (I use to visit friends on aol in one of their chatrooms) you get hit with idiots, fools and wannabes. Now if they are rude, oh hell yeah they get rude back, but 9 times out of 10 again I just DELETE

_____________________________

Peace
His slut

"Your firm hand and compassionate heart are what guide me in my journey....I am Yours, Sir" His slut

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 19

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 5:15:29 AM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

Julia, I swear, sometimes I think we must have a psychic connection or something. I just finished reading the thread from slavesusan and I sat here thinking, "Duh!" I didn't see her original profile, but after reading Celeste's comments what the hell did/does she expect? Believe it or not, I get my fair share of "abusive" emails, but I simply delete or, at times, read them for the amusement factor, then delete. The thing I really don't get is when one says "no thanks" and THEN you get the abusive emails. Those "if you were a true sub, you would submit" or some such bullshit.

btw...is that you? You are beautiful. Your Daddy is a lucky man.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 20

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