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RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 5:21:53 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

I love troll mail...just got some.
All he said was hi I live in E***x County.
So I responded...good for you.
He took the bait and emailed me back. Said he could be anything I wanted him to be.
So I asked if he could be Brad Pitt.
Ahhh...no response on that one. Guess Brad's a tough request.

edited to actually respond to the OP.
Yes we deserve troll mail.
We don't have to have a profile on the other side to post in the forums, but most of us do.
Some days I get none. Those are good days. And some days I get a lot.
And those are still good days. They certainly don't affect me one way or another. They are only words.

< Message edited by Aileen68 -- 6/6/2006 5:25:34 AM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 21

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 5:25:14 AM

feastie

Posts: 1793
Joined: 6/4/2004
Status: offline

Sorry, but saying this is just like saying a woman deserved to be raped because of how she was dressed.

_____________________________

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Disclaimer: Any views expressed in any post are my opinions only. They may or may not be yours.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 22

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 5:25:43 AM

givemyall

Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
Status: offline

I love the 'dear slave' emails - they are worth a good rant at ..lol

(in reply to Aileen68)

Post #: 23

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 6:00:59 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

This isn't like offline life- where behavior is real and can be legalized. Where you can actually force consequences on someone who thinks that wearing a sexy outfit allows them to act like an asshole.

This is online life. Your recourse is the block button and, if to a severe extent, TOS management. That's it.

No, sexy profiles and novice profiles do not DESERVE what they get...but should should EXPECT certain responses.

Do I wish we lived in a world where everyone acted like the mannerful person they should and never talk on their walkie talkie cellphones in public spaces? Yes.

But we don't. And making another thread talking about how rude people exist online isn't productive at all. We can't legislate manners, and online sexual harassment simply isn't a big enough problem that we can or IMO should do anything about.

Make the world a better place if you can, but accept it for what it is. If you leave your email box open, you can and will get things that you don't necessarily want.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 24

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:11:18 AM

CollaredProperty

Posts: 167
Joined: 6/3/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

Sorry, but saying this is just like saying a woman deserved to be raped because of how she was dressed.

I would have to agree with you 100 percent.

slave susan

_____________________________

slave susan
Under A Collar Of Consideration By Master L
Moved to Tulsa Oklahoma
"BDSM SLAVE ONLY, ALPHA TYPE, PASSION FOR EXTREME EDGE PLAY, IT IS NOT ABOUT SEX FOR ME, IT'S ABOUT TPE"

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 25

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:16:14 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

Sorry, but saying this is just like saying a woman deserved to be raped because of how she was dressed.

Ah bullshit. this is nothing of the sort. Ones a violent crime, the other is just alittle inconvenience. This is nothing more then an overreaction on your part.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to feastie)

Post #: 26

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:19:05 AM

desertdancer

Posts: 1095
Joined: 5/12/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie

Sorry, but saying this is just like saying a woman deserved to be raped because of how she was dressed.

Ah bullshit. this is nothing of the sort. Ones a violent crime, the other is just alittle inconvenience. This is nothing more then an overreaction on your part.

* claps* Well said !

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 27

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:24:53 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

quote:

ORIGINAL: feastie
Sorry, but saying this is just like saying a woman deserved to be raped because of how she was dressed.

Ah bullshit. this is nothing of the sort. Ones a violent crime, the other is just alittle inconvenience. This is nothing more then an overreaction on your part.

The acts may be different.

The answer to whether the recipient of the act "deserves" it, however, is the same.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 28

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:30:43 AM

MrDiscipline44

Posts: 1776
Joined: 1/5/2005
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Yes, the acts are different. But to compare one as if it is the other is to blow it out of proportion. Telling someone to get over the troll mail is nothing like telling someone they deserved to have been raped. If a person takes someone emailing them with something they don't like THAT seriously, they need to seek therapy.

_____________________________

If you love somebody, you have to be willing to break them.

Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach.

Have you slapped your slave today?

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 29

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:34:10 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

No it's not. An ordinary woman who dresses provocatively has every right to expect not to be raped. An ordinary woman who posts a naked picture of herself on a BDSM personals site has no right to expect not to get stupid e-mails. Stupidity is not a crime. It's just stupidity. There's a lot of it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

The acts may be different.

The answer to whether the recipient of the act "deserves" it, however, is the same.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 30

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:37:32 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster
No it's not. An ordinary woman who dresses provocatively has every right to expect not to be raped. An ordinary woman who posts a naked picture of herself on a BDSM personals site has no right to expect not to get stupid e-mails. Stupidity is not a crime. It's just stupidity. There's a lot of it.

Whether a person should EXPECT something is not the same as whether a person DESERVES something.

I said that in my original reply:
No, sexy profiles and novice profiles do not DESERVE what they get...but should should EXPECT certain responses.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 31

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:37:57 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

Thanks bandit

That made my day...smiles

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Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 32

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:39:20 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrDiscipline44

Yes, the acts are different. But to compare one as if it is the other is to blow it out of proportion. Telling someone to get over the troll mail is nothing like telling someone they deserved to have been raped. If a person takes someone emailing them with something they don't like THAT seriously, they need to seek therapy.

That's comparing apples and oranges. Does someone deserve troll mail and does someone deserve to be raped are comparable. Certain behaviour will make each scenario more likely. Having a profile online makes trolls more likely, just like wandering alone down an alley in the Bronx will make a rape more likely.

In either case, I would tell the victim that it sucks that it happens, but for their own sake, move forward. I may phrase it differently, but the message is the same - don't let the assholes win.

I feel it is a bit of an overreaction, but objectively speaking, both questions ask whether a "victim" deserves it. And that I'll leave to the theologists.

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to MrDiscipline44)

Post #: 33

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:44:59 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

In the opening post (for those who read it) I specificed that I was not blaming women for the troll mail, but I did ask if perhaps we should expect it

This thread may seem unproductive to some, I tend not to reply to threads I find unproductive as I have productive uses for my time... productivity is really a subjective thing

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 34

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:45:50 AM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

All right, then we're quibbling over semantics, because I believe that what we deserve is pretty much the same thing as what we can expect. There's no Great Big Bean-Counter up above who makes sure that we all get what we deserve. The word "deserve" doesn't even really mean anything.

quote:

ORIGINAL: LuckyAlbatross

I said that in my original reply:
No, sexy profiles and novice profiles do not DESERVE what they get...but should should EXPECT certain responses.

< Message edited by Lordandmaster -- 6/6/2006 11:46:49 AM >

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 35

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:48:07 AM

Aileen68

Posts: 6091
Joined: 8/2/2005
Status: offline

It's simple really. Delete. Delete. Delete.
Or if you feel like it...fuck around with their heads for a bit.
Certainly not anything to loose sleep over or compare to rape.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 36

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:50:03 AM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

All right, then we're quibbling over semantics, because I believe that what we deserve is pretty much the same thing as what we can expect. There's no Great Big Bean-Counter up above who makes sure that we all get what we deserve. The word "deserve" doesn't even really mean anything.

I wouldn't want him counting out beans for me anyway. Much rather have money.

Yours,

benji

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Lordandmaster)

Post #: 37

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 11:52:57 AM

LiliesDoGrow

Posts: 106
Joined: 5/15/2006
Status: offline

I've actually engaged several so called "trolls" to converse with me beyond his usual set one liners or vulgarities. Surprisingly most will come clean with who they really are inside. Some have sad tales, some feel that submissives are more or less seeking "rough talk" (I explain the individual submissive thing.) some are not the ages they advertise. (Written warning and verbal spanking from me!) Some are just not computer or keyboard savvy. In other words, human beings with human foibles.

Still don't want to date 'em. <smile> But once you scratch anyone's surface they tend to flesh out as yet another human being caught tripping on the journey.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)

Post #: 38

RE: Do We Deserve Troll Mail? - 6/6/2006 1:10:51 PM

OedipusRexIt

Posts: 634
Joined: 11/15/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Sometimes I wonder why women are so surprised that men would come to a site about alternative sexuality with personals on it and these men would think that perhaps we are sexually available. ...

... Am I unfair in thinking that we should expect this in the world we live in? The longer I am on CM the more I find certain emails have some entertainment value, and I am not even offended by anything sent to me anymore... perhaps my skin is already too thick and I am a tad jaded...lol

You make a good point. I think it needed to be said, because sometimes the disconnect between profile and expectations is an enormous gulf.

Developing a thick skin is necessary, as this kind of mail is going to arrive in everyone's box.

FYI, not just women, but all of us get that kind of mail, despite preveailing wisdom to the contrary.

We could all put a big disclaimer at the front of our profiles and it still wouldn't stop, so laughing it off is definitely the way to go.

_____________________________

"My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die..."

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 39

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