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i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 7:06:59 AM

Spirish

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Joined: 5/13/2012
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hi there, im a young guy, always been very dominant but wish to progress to slave and master relationship, if anyone has any advice on how to go about this id appreciate it, im located in sydney australia as well.

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 7:10:43 AM

Baroana

Posts: 1480
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Find someone who wants you to be their master. It ain't rocket science. Good luck with that, sounds like you're going to need it.

(in reply to Spirish)

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 7:18:54 AM

Spirish

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Joined: 5/13/2012
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maby i shall amke myself clearer, i was wondering if anyone knew of any good communities in sydney that could be fun, hopefully this update will negate the useless responses like the one listed above.

regards

(in reply to Baroana)

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 7:22:39 AM

Baroana

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Oh yeah, and stay in school.

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 7:26:06 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
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You wouldn't receive 'useless' responses if you are clear in your communications. Baroana's response is a perfectly valid, honest response to your initial question. One important skill of a master is to give clear, unambiguous instruction to their slave.

Now back to your revised question. I suggest you head on over to Fetlife, set up an account and do a search for your local area. I know there are a lot of kinky Aussies, so you should be able to find a group easily enough. Hopefully there will be a TNG (the next generation) group which is for younger kinksters.

I wish you luck.

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There's nowt so queer as folk

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 7:31:25 AM

Spirish

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Joined: 5/13/2012
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thank you very much for your useful information, as for my response before it may have been my mistake but as for treating me like an idiot, is uncalled for, i am keeping this as civil as possible but i will not take rudeness from anyone. it is a sign of a an uncouth fool.

(in reply to myotherself)

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 7:43:23 AM

Arturas

Posts: 3245
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Spirish

hi there, im a young guy, always been very dominant but wish to progress to slave and master relationship, if anyone has any advice on how to go about this id appreciate it, im located in sydney australia as well.

Master yourself. Be fit in mind and soul and body. This will attract her. Then, earn her trust and her desire to be led by you in all things. Set your expectations high for you and her and meet those yourself and demand it from her. Praise her and punish her. Build her up, not down to keep her.

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"We master Our world."

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 8:32:51 AM

DarkSteven

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A Master is someone who places heavy demands on himself and on those he owns. Generally, he is very experienced with something such as whips and bondage. Giving you some insight, I have been in the lifestyle about ten years on and off and do not have the technical skills not the desire to commit myself sufficient to be a Master.

With all due respect, I don't get the feeling you want to be a Master as much as a capable Dom. A Master would have more self-control and less temper, and be more concerned about his communications abilities.

Also, note that first impressions are lasting ones. If you go to an event in Sydney and piss off some people, you will give your reputation a black stain that will not be easy to recover from.

Simply, you are NOT a Master. You have NO right to expect respect from anyone until YOU have proven yourself worthy of it. You are responsible for getting along with others and for learning from them.

Welcome to collarme, and good luck.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 8:40:44 AM

frazzle

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Being a Master has nothing to do with technical skills, ive know Tops with great skills in bondage etc, they werent Masters and didnt claim to be.

Yes opinions vary, but masters generally look for slaves, doms for subs. Your definition of any of those boxes isnt going to match everyone elses.

Find someone who matches what you're looking for and call it what the hell ever you want.

There isnt a, start as sub, progress to slave, then to dom, then master. Its 2, or more if thats your thing, having a mutually satisfying relationship.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 8:54:26 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
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From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
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I agree having great technical skill *alone* does not make you a master, or even a dominant, or even a top. It makes you a person with great technical skill.

For the OP: Being a dominant (in the BDSM sense) has to do with personality and acquiring great leadership skills. Being a master (in the BDSM sense) has to do with combining personality and great leadership skills with great technical skills, and THEN acquiring someone who wants to be owned by you.

Mastering yourself is essential. Note: Responding with rudeness when you should understand you are, by your age, lack of experience, and general ignorance, the student in relationship to the many experienced people here shows how very much you have to learn.

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 9:19:19 AM

DarkDreems

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Joined: 5/9/2012
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quote:

hi there, im a young guy

That for me tends to raise a caution flag. I'm not saying there is anything wrong with a young guy viewing himself as being dominant in nature, and gradually exploring it. Just that the number of young guys I've known in my entire life that simultaneously exhibited good self control and compassion for others and a dominant nature, were pretty damned small in number. Anything less than 25 and I'm inclined to say "take your time and ease in slowly". Whether you end up thinking in terms of a sub or a slave, the reality is that you are taking on a significant responsibility.

This isn't just about getting what you want when you want. This is also about you facilitating the process for your sub or slave to get what they want too, and keeping them safe while doing so. Are you ready to have somebody put their emotional and physical safety in your hands? Can you scale punishment to suit the severity of their mistakes? Can you make yourself do the things you should, and make yourself NOT do the things you shouldn't? Can you adjust to their day-to-day moods and life pressures? Don't for a second think that they are the only ones adjusting in the relationship. Are you ready to own the fuckups when you get it wrong? If suddenly your sub/slave's personal life goes to hell for reasons unrelated to activities in your relationship, are you ready to help them deal with that, using the bond, training, trust, or whatever, that you've gradually established with them? Are you ready to release somebody if the relationship doesn't work for her, even if you wish it were otherwise, and not turn into some psycho stalker boyfriend?

I'd suggest spending a few years just being a kinky guy who likes to top, finding kinky young women who like to bottom. Keep the play well scoped so you both have fun. Make sure you are in control of yourself, building you into the better version of yourself, so that you will be somebody that elicits submission in another. Then suddenly one day you will look back and realize... hey I've been Dom for awhile now.

(in reply to Spirish)

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 9:38:14 AM

JeffBC

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From: Canada
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Spirish
hi there, im a young guy, always been very dominant but wish to progress to slave and master relationship, if anyone has any advice on how to go about this id appreciate it, im located in sydney australia as well.

Yes I do. For starters, you would help yourself and us a great deal by having a clear definition of what an M/s relationship looks like to you. Try to be specific. There is NO agreement whatsoever on what a "master slave relationship" might look like... none at all. Are you talking "sex slave" here or do you really intend to take ownership of a human being in perpetuity?

The next thing is, of course, get in touch with your local community. Sadly there is no MAsT meeting in Sidney... that would be appropriate for lifestyle M/s. You should try and google for local munches. If you venture into your local community you'll be exposed to all manner of things and people both which should help you to form your own opinions about what you're seeking.

I hope any of that helps.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Spirish)

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 10:39:11 AM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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Judging by your defensiveness, I wouldn't advise anyone to give you total control. You lack patience which is essential for any leader. You lash out for no reason.

You lack knowledge of what's required. Knowledge that is easily obtained if you weren't insistent on being spoon fed.

What superb lifeskills do you have that gives you the ability to direct someone else's life?

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Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 1:54:08 PM

Alecta

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Joined: 1/19/2010
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Is it weird that after reading this I now want an Igor of my own that goes around with the appropriate slurring lisping "yeth mathter"?

OP, the most vital quality of a Master is in knowing themselves with complete open-minded honesty: their strengths, flaws, achievements, failings, being able to distance themselves from gut-responses and staying in control. If you cannot even manage and take responsibility for yourself, you have no hope of managing and being responsible for another human being. Your first homework should have been "what is a slave and what is a Master?" and then to ask what kind of slave you want, and what kind of Master it is within your ability to be.

Or there's Baroana's shortcut, find someone who wants you to be their Master and go from there.

Good luck, really. I vaguely recall a poster a few weeks back saying how closed-off and difficult it is to find and get into the Australian community.

Nobody treated you like a fool until you acted like one.

(in reply to DesFIP)

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/13/2012 3:21:56 PM

DarkSteven

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Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

Being a Master has nothing to do with technical skills, ive know Tops with great skills in bondage etc, they werent Masters and didnt claim to be.

I didn't mean to say that. As an example, I am known as one of the better spankers in the Denver area and am not a Master. However, I have not known anyone I would consider a Master who does not have good technical skills.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to frazzle)

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/14/2012 1:20:39 AM

AngelOfSilence

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Joined: 5/8/2012
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You can't always get what you want.

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/14/2012 4:22:59 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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quote:

ORIGINAL: frazzle

Being a Master has nothing to do with technical skills, ive know Tops with great skills in bondage etc, they werent Masters and didnt claim to be.

Yes opinions vary, but masters generally look for slaves, doms for subs. Your definition of any of those boxes isnt going to match everyone elses.

Find someone who matches what you're looking for and call it what the hell ever you want.

There isnt a, start as sub, progress to slave, then to dom, then master. Its 2, or more if thats your thing, having a mutually satisfying relationship.

As usual, you talk much and say little.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to frazzle)

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/14/2012 6:29:25 AM

frazzle

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Joined: 6/20/2009
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I thought that was your area of expertise!!!

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/14/2012 12:50:18 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Yeah, I'll have to work on that. It helps when people pay to hear you talk for ninety minutes to have something to say.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to frazzle)

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RE: i want to be a master - 5/14/2012 12:50:28 PM

Char2688

Posts: 151
Joined: 4/16/2012
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Get comfortable in your own skin
The rest will come to you
And by all means practice
Do not be afraid to make mistakes
It is how you learn
Just make small mistakes

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