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ORIGINAL: JeffBC

It became pretty clear in the first year of our marriage that if I argued with her I would win... every single time.

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ORIGINAL: DarkDreems

I think your question has more context when read in conjunction with your journal entry. O/others might want to scope that out to get a better handle on where you are coming from.

This reminds Me a great deal of a discussion I had with somebody a couple of weeks ago. She was interested in the lifestyle, but also still a bit fearful of the impact it would have on her. She was used to viewing herself in vanilla terms, and having vanilla relationship expectations. It was very difficult for Me to get her to understand the qualitative nature of submission. It wasn't about submitting to what was done to her. It is an internal process. Her self-imposed mental limits were very tight, and every time she neared that boundary, she would bounce back and retain control. The experience of true submission was waiting on the opposite side of that boundary, unfortunately. I'm not talking here about having your Dominant not respect your fetish limits, I'm really talking about emotional/psychological dynamics within yourself. If you have yourself on a tighter leash than your Dominant does, then you are witholding submission, and maybe its time for some very deep self-evaluation to figure out what is holding you back.

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I admit, I still like being 'reminded' of my place. It reassures me that I am worth his effort.

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At the beginning of our relationship I will admit that I pushed at the boundaries, testing whether they were solid or ephemeral.

This is a response to other relationships where the dominant stopped being dominant once he'd 'won the prize'.