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My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 11:56:21 AM

DaddyDom224

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Joined: 5/14/2012
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W/we are a young D/s couple that have been curious and "testing" the lifestyle for about a year (bedroom only) and see that W/we are using it more and more in real life yet there are a few quirks to be worked out. 1) This sub has been sexually/ mentally abused from childhood to recently (before I met my DaddyDom) so the concern is how far is too far to be pushed.. I feel fine and I accept being pushed but DaddyDom doesn't want to break me either. 2) DaddyDom is newer to this than I am (always had the urges to control and rough play but never knew what it was he was feeling) so that is an obstacle to overcome as well.

THIS IS A JOURNAL ENTRY FROM FETLIFE THAT NO ONE HAS HELPED U/us WITH OR RESPONDED TO: Today my task is to research and gather ideas on punishments that my DaddyDom can and will use on me. I am a bratty and loud babygirl/sub that needs to be taught respect and obedience. Sometimes I am too sassy and I talk back on purpose to see how far I can push my DaddyDom and test His limits. I know I can get away with a lot because I know His love for me, at times, overrules His needs and wants to punish me; however, I think His limit for my disobedience has been coming to a halt and He needs new ideas on my punishments.. :-( (which I'm not looking forwards to because usually I am a spoiled lil girl and love it ^_^ )

Thus far, my punishments have consisted of light beatings, smacking around, sentences and the occasional scolding.

Thank you for your help..

Post #: 1

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:00:25 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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No one has responded because there is nothing that we, as total strangers, can respond to.

And, asking for suitable punishments? Like what, kneeling on rice? It's not something any of us can help you with. It's obvious that you don't consider your "punishment" any kind of deterrent, or you wouldn't look forward to the experience.

In the search box, enter "funishment" and see what pops up. You could find some intel there.

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Post #: 2

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:03:55 PM

Madame4a

Posts: 2045
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Washington, DC area
Status: offline

uhmmm.... there's so much going on here... it would be nice if there were an actual question....

you're looking for punishment ideas? ... and you're the brat and are to gather them?

if it were me, I would have walked, perhaps run, away from you immediately.. but that's me...

so you tell him... ice cream, massages, manicures... and several one hour long foot massages... all provided by him -- best punishment for you...

sounds ridiculous, huh?

kind of close to how I view this post... yes, I'm a mean bitch.. but really, if he doesn't know what to do with you.. perhaps he should just NOT 'do' anything at all... we can't tell him... or you for that matter...

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Post #: 3

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:04:48 PM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
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First, please kill the S/slashy S/speak and stick with standardized English. The slashes make your post more difficult to read and less likely to generate a helpful response.

Second, please use the Search feature (link is in upper right corner of the forum home screen) to search for keywords like "punishments," "funishment" and "punishment dynamic." We've had some really good threads on these topics, including some that are running right now. The will serve two purposes - for you to gain the benefit of suggestions by people who may no longer be posting on the boards, and for you to see what type of response questions like yours generally elicit.

After you use the Search feature, you may wish to reword or clarify your question to generate more helpful responses.

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Post #: 4

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:09:17 PM

Alecta

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Joined: 1/19/2010
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People don't tend to rally up to the "what ideas to use on my sub" topics because that's the Dom and sub's homework and the two of you are supposed to figure it out together, not throw it out to people who don't know you in the slightest.

The standard advice to Dom/mes who have had enough, walk away. When the important rules get broken, play stops. If you the sub want to keep playing, you learn to behave,

In regards to your abusive childhood, have you been to professional therapy? If you feel fine about what he is doing you have to reassure him. If you want to be pushed further, you have to let him now. If he cares about you he will think of a way for you to let him know when something is wrong, and if you care about him you will learn to behave yourself in such a way that he knows he can trust you to let him know when something is wrong.

As for not knowing how he feels, have you tried asing him?

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Post #: 5

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:13:57 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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if this is an everyday life stuff for you guys, I'd tell him to walk away from you and ignore you until you behave. If it still happens, I'd show you the door.

If this is bedroom stuff for you two....can't help ya there.

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Post #: 6

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:15:14 PM

crazyml

Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
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Hey there.... now don't take it too personally (I'm a total stranger after all) but when I got to...

quote:

1) This sub has been sexually/ mentally abused from childhood to recently

A whole host of klaxons went off. I know I'm the klaxon guy and all that but.... my immediate reaction to this bit is "Hie thee to a decent therapist."

I can tell you what I'd do, notwithstanding your history, if you behaved in a consistently bratty and provocative way - I'd tell you to fuck off and irritate someone else.

Now, if your dom is more inclined than I would be to put up with your shit then my sincere advice to him would be "Tell her to fuck off mate, she's going to be a total karma vampire".

Sure... there are lots of examples where people with "history" and issues have been helped enormously by the right partner - but you know, if you're having to consult total strangers - then neither of you is the other's "right partner".

That said... good luck and I hope you figure out the best way (for both of you) to proceed.

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Post #: 7

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:20:14 PM

Englishcrumpet

Posts: 43
Joined: 2/28/2012
Status: offline

oh puhlease! - just get real here. you guys love punishment, accept it, own it and go with it and stop manipulating total strangers to join in on youre bedroom frolicks.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 8

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:20:39 PM

AthenaSurrenders

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Joined: 3/15/2012
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-fast reply-

This was hard to read and understand because you kept jumping around from him speaking to her speaking.

I have been known to have bratty moments in the past. Which of these do you think worked to stop me misbehaving?

Punishment 1: A good spanking, then tied to the bed and made to beg for orgasms.
Punishment 2: 'Go away until you can behave yourself'

I'll give you a clue. One of these is fun. The other taught me that being a brat did not result in me getting my own way. If you're being punished so often he's run out of ideas, then either it's too fun to be a deterrent or you're self-destructive enough to sabotage your relationship. Surely he doesn't need advice from strangers to get you to cut it out? If I were so troublesome my husband needed to ask the internet how to control me, I'd have been out the door.

I suspect however you're really asking for fun kinky ideas to play with in which case see punishment number 1 above, or just experiment together and see what you like.

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Post #: 9

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:27:21 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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Are you seeing a trend here, OP? I'm another one who would tell you to knock your shit off or I'd show you the door.

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Post #: 10

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:29:49 PM

angelikaJ

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Joined: 6/22/2007
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Why do you misbehave/disobey/brat?

Because the easiest solution is to just behave.
Perhaps your punishment should be writing essays on what you did, why you did it, what you learned and how you will endeavor to not do it again.

For me: the biggest punishment is His disappointment.

The recommendation that you should go to a therapist is on target.
In some locations there are kink-aware/kind friendly therapists.

Edit to add: Maybe your daddy should just stop spoiling you until your behavior warrants it.

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 5/14/2012 12:33:31 PM >

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RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:34:01 PM

Englishcrumpet

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Joined: 2/28/2012
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THIS IS A JOURNAL ENTRY FROM FETLIFE THAT NO ONE HAS HELPED U/us WITH OR RESPONDED TO

pfft -

(in reply to angelikaJ)

Post #: 12

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:41:40 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

Soundls like you guys are after funishment to me...

I can't really help, i don't "get" bratting to be punished or deliberate disrespect

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RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:53:05 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
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if i dont behave i dont get to stay i do what my Mistress commands me to. do you want to be a spoiled brat or owned

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Post #: 14

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 12:54:32 PM

LaTigresse

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Are you seeing a trend here, OP? I'm another one who would tell you to knock your shit off or I'd show you the door.

Me also.

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Post #: 15

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 1:04:36 PM

Whiplashsmile4

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How I might deal with a specific situation and how somebody else does... (very different). Even more so when it comes to punishment. I tend to dish out what fits the crime, or feels right to me at the time. Adjust accordingly to what does or does not work.

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RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 1:54:43 PM

lizi

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I don't know if this will help, probably not, I don't brat or act out. I find it useless and infantile. I'm an adult. I freely choose my Dominant partner to be that, I will not disrespect my choice or his in choosing me by acting like an idiot, and if I do have a bad moment I acknowledge it, he forgives, and I genuinely try to move on without having it happen again.

We don't use punishments, the worst thing he can do to me is give me the disappointed look. Punishments just seem ridiculous when we're talking about adults. I give him my best, he does too. I would expect if I tested him in the manner you outlined that he wouldn't be interested in me and I'd accept that because it's something I wouldn't be interested in either. Then again I have no abuse to contend with.

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RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 2:06:57 PM

mandmlv

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Why do subs think 'sassy, bratty' is attractive?

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RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 2:09:29 PM

poise

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Joined: 7/3/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDom224

W/we are a young D/s couple that have been curious and "testing" the lifestyle for about a year.
I know I can get away with a lot

Usually when one tests something, they do so with the intent on succeeding, so what exactly is it
that you think you are getting away with, and how is that benefitting you and your relationship?

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Post #: 19

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 2:14:46 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
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From: Island Of Misfit Toys
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mandmlv

Why do subs think 'sassy, bratty' is attractive?

Some folk are entertained by it. I find "bratting" equally distasteful in 3 yr olds as in 30 yr olds. Spirit, wit, feistiness are all fine.

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Post #: 20

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