RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat.

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RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 2:23:45 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

While I do understand that some consideration should be given to the prior abuse, I think the attention it is getting isn't the right kind. If you still have issues over the abuse, this is not the time to act out d/s or bdsm. To many things could be misdirected. What attention I do see it getting is in the form of an excuse. An excuse not to grow up. An excuse to validate being a child and acting childish. An excuse to not be accountable and lay blame for poor behavior on the past. There may be reason that the past isn't the past and you may need some help with that, but... BUT... when you are manipulating the excuses... I think you are fully aware of what you are doing and are simply being a pain in the ass.

Time to grow up or get some professional help.

You both are young and if you want to contribute to the future upsets in your life... continue as you are... there may be some pay off for you. If you wish to live in an adult world, have an adult relationship and be a part of a d/s dynamic... then get your ass off the excuse and blame game and on to realizing it is much more fun to be an adult and not play games with the mind, heart and life of another. And you are.

< Message edited by Lockit -- 5/14/2012 2:25:12 PM >

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Post #: 21

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 2:24:34 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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Your attitude doesn't seem to be that you have done anything wrong. As long as that's the case, no punishment will work. If he genuinely believes you did something wrong and you didn't, that's a serious issue. If neither one believes there's been a transgression, then just play.

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Post #: 22

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 2:28:40 PM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat.

Then get another one.

As others have said, indulged, okay in the right context as long as no one forgets their place, sassy can be fun, feisty and spirited keep both on their toes.

Disrespectful, disobedient, acting out, etc, is a pain in the ass most d-types don't want to deal with. Even if it is done for funishment, that shit gets old quick.

And yeah, therapy for the "This sub has been sexually/ mentally abused from childhood to recently."

There are some things even good Daddydoms can't fix on their own.

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Post #: 23

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 2:29:36 PM

Lucylastic

Posts: 40310
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

Are you seeing a trend here, OP? I'm another one who would tell you to knock your shit off or I'd show you the door.

Me also.

The wisdom of the ladies above, is wisdom.
I enjoy fun and laughs with my sub, but if he was to pull the SAM tude just cos he could... he wouldnt be mine for long.If I want a spoiled princess?prince, I would adopt a kardashian

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Post #: 24

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 5:18:34 PM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDom224
THIS IS A JOURNAL ENTRY FROM FETLIFE THAT NO ONE HAS HELPED U/us WITH OR RESPONDED TO: Today my task is to research and gather ideas on punishments that my DaddyDom can and will use on me. I am a bratty and loud babygirl/sub that needs to be taught respect and obedience. Sometimes I am too sassy and I talk back on purpose to see how far I can push my DaddyDom and test His limits.

*shrugs* Well, I suppose you could go with what I do with Carol... obey or be released ... one strike and your out. That way you get out of the whole "how far can I push" thing because the answer is zero.

quote:

I know I can get away with a lot because I know His love for me, at times, overrules His needs and wants to punish me;

You know I love Carol quite a bit also. And yes, if we're deciding between her needs and mine then my "love for her can overrule my needs". But that isn't what you're talking about here. You're talking about blatant disrespect. I would not have allowed Carol to get away with this as my vanilla wife much less my slave.

quote:

however, I think His limit for my disobedience has been coming to a halt and He needs new ideas on my punishments.. :-( (which I'm not looking forwards to because usually I am a spoiled lil girl and love it ^_^ )

Well yes, and you really won't like my idea. I think he should actually... you know... create and enforce a boundary. I think he should tell you that the next time you fail to speak with respect he will release you. THAT ought to convince you that he's serious. Or, if that fails to convince you, it at least gets you off his hands.

quote:

Thus far, my punishments have consisted of light beatings, smacking around, sentences and the occasional scolding.

Those aren't punishments.

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Post #: 25

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 5:47:49 PM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

…testing the lifestyle (bedroom only)
…I accept being pushed but DaddyDom doesn't want to break me either.
…DaddyDom is newer to this than I am so that is an obstacle to overcome.
…My task is to … gather ideas on punishments… etc

Ok, so your guy is “newbee whimp” and hasn’t beat your “experienced bedroom only ass” hard enough.

Buy bigger gear, read a book like Misstress Abernathy or something (see link in my sig).

End of problem.

Was that so hard you had to go through two BDSM forums to learn that?

Seriously, you ought to reexamine your approach to BDSM and problem solving in general. This is like watching a carpenter with "one years experience" asking which end of a hammer to hold. Either he is lying about his level of experience or just incredibly stupid and spent a year hammering nails with the wrong end. You guys need to get off your lazy asses, get off the internet, read some good BDSM books together until you at least have a clue and then go out to the local munches and play parties.

Many of the people on these forums have a passion for the lifestyle and they know it takes a little time and some personal effort. So either put in the effort or get off the pot. The mountain aint' gonna come to you, no matter how many forums you ask for it on.

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Post #: 26

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 6:18:21 PM

Karmastic

Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline

what the heck, 200 minds are better than 2 for funishment ideas.

how about he rips your clothes off and ties you up (can be rough if you're into SM). then he sticks you for a couple minutes (with dick, any fun hole), then leaves you there for a few minutes. then he returns and does it a bit less, then leaves for a little longer. keep doing that for a few hours. pure torture divided by spasms of fun.

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Post #: 27

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 7:09:43 PM

Halfinchsoul

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/13/2012
Status: offline

Your punishments are too much like foreplay and give entirely the worng impression. Clip some clothespins to her tounge and have her stand in the corner for a while to think. If the funishment is what your looking for then make that clear. Communication is everything. If you can't express what you desire then you don't deserve it.

(in reply to Karmastic)

Post #: 28

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 7:11:53 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14442
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: lizi
I find it useless and infantile. I'm an adult. I freely choose my Dominant partner to be that, I will not disrespect my choice or his in choosing me by acting like an idiot, and if I do have a bad moment I acknowledge it, he forgives, and I genuinely try to move on without having it happen again.

Lizi nailed it. And part two:

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDom224
1) This sub has been sexually/ mentally abused from childhood to recently (before I met my DaddyDom) so the concern is how far is too far to be pushed..

You're dead wrong. The concern should be getting her mentally healthy.....no how far you can beat her.

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(in reply to lizi)

Post #: 29

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 7:12:20 PM

LookieNoNookie

Posts: 12216
Joined: 8/9/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

No one has responded because there is nothing that we, as total strangers, can respond to.

And, asking for suitable punishments? Like what, kneeling on rice? It's not something any of us can help you with. It's obvious that you don't consider your "punishment" any kind of deterrent, or you wouldn't look forward to the experience.

In the search box, enter "funishment" and see what pops up. You could find some intel there.

Uh yepper.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 30

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/14/2012 7:16:30 PM

Karmastic

Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Halfinchsoul

Your punishments are too much like foreplay and give entirely the worng impression. Clip some clothespins to her tounge and have her stand in the corner for a while to think. If the funishment is what your looking for then make that clear. Communication is everything. If you can't express what you desire then you don't deserve it.

sorry u feel that way. did you ever think that maybe one man's foreplay is another's sex. and don't be so quick to judge - what i suggested is obviously bare bones, and could use any number of accoutrements/accessories and spicing it up, as you suggest.

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Post #: 31

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/15/2012 12:05:59 AM

BitaTruble

Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDom224

He needs new ideas on my punishments.. :-( (which I'm not looking forwards to because usually I am a spoiled lil girl and love it ^_^ )

This works well.

quote:

Thank you for your help..

You're welcome.

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Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."

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Post #: 32

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/15/2012 5:31:49 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDom224

I am a spoiled lil girl and love it ^_^ )

I think this is the solution: all of the Daddy spoiling you stuff should stop.

Being spoiled should be something you earn for good behavior.

Bratty girls who don't listen to and obey their Daddies don't deserve to be spoiled!

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Post #: 33

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/15/2012 9:20:35 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
sorry u feel that way. did you ever think that maybe one man's foreplay is another's sex.

Well yeah... but this one sounded more to me like a real behavioral correction thread than a funishment one.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Karmastic)

Post #: 34

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/15/2012 9:33:05 AM

graceadieu

Posts: 1518
Joined: 3/20/2008
From: Maryland
Status: offline

There's only one person that can make you respect your partner and fulfill your end of the relationship dynamic that you chose to have: you. You're an adult, if you want to submit, then grow a (metaphorical) pair and do it.

If you choose to disrespect your partner and not obey when you agreed to do so.... that's your choice, but if your Dom isn't okay with that then you're just undermining your relationship with him. The punishment ultimately will be that he gives up on dominating you because you're not doing your part in the relationship.

(in reply to DaddyDom224)

Post #: 35

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/15/2012 11:24:39 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: graceadieu
If you choose to disrespect your partner and not obey when you agreed to do so.... that's your choice, but if your Dom isn't okay with that then you're just undermining your relationship with him. The punishment ultimately will be that he gives up on dominating you because you're not doing your part in the relationship.

Well said (again assuming this is not a funishment thread). I'd also argue there is another negative outcome. For Carol and I, I would not "give up on her" if she failed to obey. I'd still love her and we'd have a wonderful life together. The "punishment" is that we could have had an even happier life and we failed to get it through lack of core traits like "strength" and "honor" and "love". Carol and I are pretty focused on having the best marriage we can arrange and anything less than that is punishment enough for us to get motivated. We may, at some point, come to the conclusion that a M/s dynamic is no longer the best way to make smiles in our marriage. But up until that point, we'd prefer not to fail simply for lack of trying hard enough. That particular sort of failure is a hard limit for both Carol and I.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to graceadieu)

Post #: 36

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/18/2012 5:58:06 PM

littlecherie

Posts: 137
Joined: 3/29/2012
Status: offline

Think of it in terms of a 'relationship' not just a D/s relationship. I have had issues from my past, and I am going to therapy as a way to deal with that. Master can only do so much for myself. Sometimes the me 'disobeying' is the girl from the past, who is just protecting herself.

So..yeah.

Good luck.

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Post #: 37

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/19/2012 2:09:10 AM

NiceButMeanGirl

Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDom224
This sub has been sexually/ mentally abused from childhood to recently (before I met my DaddyDom) so the concern is how far is too far to be pushed.

WRONG. The concern is not how far to be pushed. The concern should be getting the girl into therapy, working out the issues and getting her mentally healthy.

quote:

ORIGINAL: DaddyDom224
I am a bratty and loud babygirl/sub that needs to be taught respect and obedience. Sometimes I am too sassy and I talk back on purpose to see how far I can push my DaddyDom and test His limits. I know I can get away with a lot

The bolded part is the issue here. That would not last one minute with me or any of the Dominants I know. Purposeful brattitude would not get you any funishment here. I can understand mistakes, accidents and such, but if a sub of mine went the "on purpose" brattitude and misbehavior route, he would find himself out of my life in short order.

Brattiness and sass-back would not be tolerated with me. You've got issues. So what? You do, I do, everyone does. I see by the profile, you're both in your 20s. Even in DD/lg dynamics, the lg really DOES "know better" so stop using your littleness as an excuse. Stop acting like a two year old and grow up already. Brattiness and sassing isn't attractive whether you're two or twenty two.

NBMG

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Post #: 38

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/19/2012 9:50:55 AM

AngelOfSilence

Posts: 119
Joined: 5/8/2012
Status: offline

quote:

My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat.

That would be your fault.

quote:

He needs new ideas on my punishments.

I suggest you ignore her so as to not give her the attention she is seeking by misbehaving.

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Post #: 39

RE: My sub is a spoiled disrespectful brat. - 5/19/2012 10:42:29 AM

ClassAct2006

Posts: 318
Joined: 4/12/2006
Status: offline

Talk about it. If you're really just wanting some play then there are lots of things that could be done. If you mean real punishment, I think carrots work better than sticks. Sit down talk. May be she plays up because she doesn't feel dominated so needs a few more rules. Perhaps she doesn't know if how she is upsets or annoys you (most subs want to please but if you don't know what pleases and what doesn't that's hard).

There is an issue here about what makes and keeps a submissive feeling sub to a man. If someone just sits there and says he's dom but does nothing it never works for me. To dominate is a verb. It requires some action. Perhaps he hasn't seemed in charge enough and that's where it's going wrong.

(in reply to AngelOfSilence)

Post #: 40

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