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How Long - 5/15/2012 6:08:30 AM

Bill41

Posts: 83
Joined: 4/26/2012
Status: offline

i am a sub looking for advice from a Pro Dom so i hope this is the right spot. my question is how long should my first session be? i am emailing back and forth she has asked all my likes and there are many but i dont expect to do them all in a 1 hour session. She is reccomending a 3 hour session but that seems kind of long and expensive for my first time and we don't really know each other yet. i appreciate any advice you can give

Post #: 1

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 6:45:25 AM

peppermint

Posts: 5170
Joined: 10/18/2005
From: Montana
Status: offline

You are the customer. If you feel more comfortable with just one hour then schedule one hour with the option of buying more of her time at a later date. Don't be pressured into paying more than you can afford.

_____________________________

We are stardust, we are golden, and we got to get ourselves back to the garden.

Yes, I am crazy about feathered creatures. I have a dozen chickens, 3 ducks, 5 geese, and 2 parakeets.

Revise that number. Just got 14 new chicks and 5 turkeys.

(in reply to Bill41)

Post #: 2

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 6:51:31 AM

misterraymond

Posts: 505
Joined: 4/2/2009
Status: offline

quote:

how long should my first session be

You sound someone without experience, preparation in mind and body essential, if you have a 3 hour session, insist on a consultation first, you must have a safe word, and you should never serve anyone you do not know.

This Master will say BEWARE

(in reply to Bill41)

Post #: 3

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 6:52:56 AM

misterraymond

Posts: 505
Joined: 4/2/2009
Status: offline

quote:

Don't be pressured

Good advise Peppermint.

(in reply to peppermint)

Post #: 4

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 6:54:18 AM

misterraymond

Posts: 505
Joined: 4/2/2009
Status: offline

quote:

we don't really know each other yet

Another Warning, you must know who you serve, if you want to stay safe.

(in reply to Bill41)

Post #: 5

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 7:03:17 AM

Bill41

Posts: 83
Joined: 4/26/2012
Status: offline

this is great advice, we have been chatting for a month and i feel comfortable with Her. i guess i want to experience as much as possible but at the same time i don't want too much of a good thing. i told her if things work out well then we could meet for another session. in your experience is 1 hour enough to get to know an experienced dom?

(in reply to Bill41)

Post #: 6

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 7:13:15 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

If you've never done anything ever, I would say yes, an hour is plenty.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Bill41)

Post #: 7

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 7:16:36 AM

misterraymond

Posts: 505
Joined: 4/2/2009
Status: offline

quote:

I would say yes, an hour is plenty

Indeed, Ditto.

There will be plenty of opportunities in the future, a three hour session , first time suspicious.

< Message edited by misterraymond -- 5/15/2012 7:17:17 AM >

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 8

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 7:18:16 AM

misterraymond

Posts: 505
Joined: 4/2/2009
Status: offline

quote:

experience as much as possible

Over kill, this can ruin your first experience.

(in reply to Bill41)

Post #: 9

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 7:47:41 AM

Bill41

Posts: 83
Joined: 4/26/2012
Status: offline

thank you that is the information i was looking for You have been very helpful

(in reply to Bill41)

Post #: 10

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 8:16:47 AM

MsSylverdawn

Posts: 147
Joined: 9/26/2011
Status: offline

is it wrong to covet thy neighbours boots??

< Message edited by MsSylverdawn -- 5/15/2012 8:17:11 AM >

(in reply to Bill41)

Post #: 11

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 8:35:26 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

I agree with the others who said that 3 hours is probably too long for a first session.

Firstly, if you find that you aren't enjoying the session, you won't be able to get your money back. After all, she could have booked another customer during that time, but she reserved the time for you. So it's only fair that she keep your fee for the entire 3 hours. So why risk possibly wasting money when you can book a shorter session?

Also, talking on the telephone is practically useless. I know that the two of you THINK you're getting to know one another, but you're really not. In your case, you sound like a newbie, so anything that you say has to be taken with a grain of salt. Newbies tend to have no idea of what they like and don't like. They may have fantasized about a few things, but they don't know if they really like it. For example, you may THINK that you want to be forced to suck another man's cock, but the moment you set foot in that gay bar, you'll probably have second thoughts. Similarly, you may THINK that you are a pain slut with no limits, but the moment that first smack from the flogger hits your back, you may start crying like a little girl. Or you may THINK you want to drink her "golden nectar", but the moment she hands you the glass and tells you to drink, you'll likely get nervous and not want to do it.

Similar things will happen to the Domme. She'll learn what you like and what you don't like. She'll learn how hard or how soft to hit you. She'll learn how much humiliation you can take. She learn how big of a strap-on you can handle. Until she learns these things, her sessions won't be optimal. But she'll learn more about you with each session. So the first session is likely to be the worst. Newbies never seem to understand this.

So why schedule a 3 hour session, when you can try a few things during a 1 hour session, and then graduate to a 3-hour session once the two of you get to know each other better? Wouldn't it be wiser to do it that way?

(in reply to Bill41)

Post #: 12

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 8:40:12 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

And, you might not click in person. I always met first time clients on neutral ground for a variety of reasons, firstly so we could suss each other out and cancel if we weren't feeling it.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 13

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 8:47:31 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

And, you might not click in person.

Absolutely! I have had this happen many times. I've met someone on-line, and things seemed great. Then we talked on the phone, and things still seemed great. But when we actually met face-to-face, the chemistry just wasn't there.

It's almost impossible to predict chemistry until you're sitting across the table from one another.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 14

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 8:53:54 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Yes. I had a client where neither of us was into it, and why we didnt just say no I will never understand. Ghastly session. A rarity, thank goodness!

I was the first for a lot of people, pro and non...and that's not everyone's thing, either. I still hear from some of those guys! So I must have done something right.

Pick carefully, is my point, and say no if you feel you have to. Express your concerns out loud, your body language could be misconstrued.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 15

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 9:15:13 AM

Bill41

Posts: 83
Joined: 4/26/2012
Status: offline

Rochsub2009 you nailed me down pretty good. That gives me more to think about and i will defiantly be sticking with a 1 hour session. i have emailed some no Pro Dom's and one offered a session with tribute but the time and place did not work out. i decided as a newbie it was better to start with a Pro. i have no clue if this is the right path but it's a start.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 16

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 9:23:51 AM

misterraymond

Posts: 505
Joined: 4/2/2009
Status: offline

quote:

fee for the entire 3 hours

This Master really subscribes to all Rochsub 2009 says, but if the journey is substantial, the three hour session can be broken down into , face to face, preparation, a one hour session and the final hour to make an assessment.

If this is requested with great respect, the Dom or Domme, will usually accommodate, but remember "Great respect when asking"

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 17

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 9:27:54 AM

Bill41

Posts: 83
Joined: 4/26/2012
Status: offline

i had considered that but she does not meet for coffee etc etc. So i decided to go straight into a session.

(in reply to misterraymond)

Post #: 18

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 9:28:31 AM

misterraymond

Posts: 505
Joined: 4/2/2009
Status: offline

quote:

pain slut with no limits

This Master just hates those who proclaim this, this is a dangerous statement, Masters slaves have no limits serving him, because trust has been built up over many years, Master knows theire limits.

When meeting a Dom/Domme first time and for some considerable time afterwards, you always use a "safe word" and a "safe sign or signal"

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

Post #: 19

RE: How Long - 5/15/2012 9:30:32 AM

misterraymond

Posts: 505
Joined: 4/2/2009
Status: offline

quote:

neutral ground

Always, more for the subs protection than the Dom/Domme but absolutely excellent advise.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 20

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