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fucktoyprincess -> RE: Any men's rights activist on here? (5/21/2012 7:14:01 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SternSkipper
And there ARE so-called 'men's rights' groups that I support (though that's not their core principal, but rather the way they are referred to), such as "Fathers and Families", which a sensible organization that is more about bringing split spouses into a place where they can deal more responsibly with each other.
Perhaps the OP would be wise to shift his focus from the inflammatory and inaccurate websites to which he referred, and instead look at organizations such as the above that are emphasizing issues of responsibilities as well as rights.
I can still hear my parents telling me when I was a teen that with rights and privileges came the responsibilities of adulthood. Having one without the other is either unfair, or immature.
So perhaps the discussion needs to move more towards the idea that when men are stepping up to their responsibilities that they, like any person, are entitled to the rights and privileges associated with those responsibilities. I certainly don't dispute that notion.
I think the reason for the female backlash is that often when men complain the deck is stacked against them, it comes from the very men who have shirked responsibilities. It is hard to find a sympathetic voice amongst women who feel that women have shouldered a disproportionate amount of the burden/responsiblity in order to preserve their rights and privileges.
With respects to the specific topic that has dominated this thread, I will say this. Single parenthood is a huge responsibility, regardless of one's gender. And it remains a fact that most men only sue for custody in order to reduce the amount of financial settlement they will have to give when the divorce is finalized. The fact of the matter is, most men do not want primary custody of their children. (This is a fact). Does the way divorce and custody have played out have more to do with what people have wanted, and how that has played out, or does it have to do with what "courts" and "society" have wanted? EVERY divorce I am aware of, regardless of who had the money, is one where the mothers wanted custody, and the fathers did not. Every single one. So while I accept that in some narrow circumstances men want custody, I have to say, this would be a rare event against the backdrop of the huge number of divorces that occur annually in this country. Not to mention this does not include the large numbers of women and children who are abandoned by men who are not married to the mother. One has to be careful about interpreting the statistic that most children are with their mothers. I am not sure it a societal bias against men as custodial parent that is actually driving that statistic. I don't know a single divorced man who wanted custody of his children. Not ONE.
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