Lockit
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quote:
ORIGINAL: pompeii
Once I get past all the spam in the W4M section, I see many of the remaining "real" women still struggling to understand real men. Sometimes it takes a logical thought process and a willingness to face facts in order to find and keep your dream man.
(This suggests that the author knows what a real man or woman are. The mention of spam, is in my opinion related to those that complain about spam here on CM. Then he goes on to talk about a logical thought process and a willingness to face facts, to find a dream man. Already, I think the guy is a joke.)
I apologize in advance if I say something you don't want to hear, please just move on, and don't flag this post. Other women may be able to benefit from it, even if you are one of those rare women who don't need or wouldn't benefit from any any of those suggestions.
(This continues to red flag this authors attitudes about women, real or not... real being rare. The passive aggressive manner in which he apologizes if he says something you don't want to hear and telling you to move on and not flag his post, is interesting. He seems to feel that most women need to benefit from his suggestions because the majority of women are clueless. I dare say I have loved, fucked, enjoyed many men without complaint of being able to obtain one and find the author rather clueless about women.)
Rule #1. Get down to your optimal weight (notice I said optimal, not minimum). The more attractive the man you want (tall, educated, confident, successful, etc), the more attractive you must be. Truly confident and accomplished men are simply not attracted to overweight women. Go to the gym, get out and run. Stop eating junk food. A man may not be able to do anything about being shorter than 6' but you can certainly do something about the size of your waist. Take care of it, and you will be more likely to find a man who will take care of the rest of you. There is a reason why this rule is #1, its because this is the #1 thing that women try to rationalize their way around and hide, deny or dismiss. This disheartens and infuriates men more than any other factor, because women make it impossible for men to ever give them this feedback.
(While I can agree that many men that are ubber wonderful want very attractive women, not all men want a skinny one or even at average weight. So, to catch a man one must be a certain type of woman. Okay... whatever... As for the reason this rule is first... ROFL! More passive aggressive bitterness of some sort. You fatties rationalize, hide, deny or dismiss. This angers men more than anything else and you fatties make it impossible for a man to ever give feedback. Oh... poor baby, can't speak his mind with those ever elusive fat wenches! My heart is just breaking. Anyone else see any red flags here? I could write a chapter on this one.
Rule #2. Be feminine. Transcend the war of the sexes. Be the hard-nosed professional at work, but in the presence of your man: learn the joys of surrendering. There is nothing more destructive than a woman who wants to be in control and get her own way, but doesn't take responsibility for her decisions (or the consequences of her emotional excursions to get what she wants). This does not mean be a doormat. It means offer him the polarity of your feminine essence, and you will bring out the polarity of his masculine integrity. The combination is indescribably beautiful, and is the foundation of a long-lasting, deeply loving and spiritually grounded relationship. Read David Deida's "Dear lover" for insight.
(Hear ye, hear ye... the war between the sexes can be ended if you wenches will be more feminine, surrender and not be self destructive by trying to get your own way. Trying to get your own way and not surrendering or being feminine isn't taking responsibility for your decisions and the consequences of your emotional excursions. So... let me get this right. If you are not feminine, you aid and abet some war between women and men. If you are not feminine and surrender and want what you want, you are destructive, unaccountable and don't accept the consequences of your emotional excursions. Nice! ROFL. So if you offer your femininity, a man can be more masculine? He is dependent upon her being what she should be to be what he should be? ROFL! If you are not all these things and not doing these destructive things... you will have a deep, long lasting and loving, spiritual relationship? Is this the only way? Red flag... god is in the house!)
Rule #3. If you don't want to feel "controlled" by him, then earn your own way in life. Develop a career (not just a part time or 9-5 job). This will at least get you out of the stage one (macho male / submissive housewife) relationship that your parents had, into stage two (equal) relationship; but equal relationships don't last, have you checked the divorce statistics recently? You must learn to transcend both: stand up for yourself, demand the respect you are due as a human being, but also contribute financially to the relationship (either directly, OR by supporting your man in tangible ways that help him in his work). If you don't want to do either of these alternatives, then stop whining about the man controlling you, he is only trying to do the best he can in the circumstances you have constrained him to.
(LOL Where do I start? If you want to be controlled... earn your own way? As if women don't earn their own way? What kind of women has this author being hanging out with? Oh yeah... those foolish enough to think he is god... silly little skinny wenches. How does he know what kind of parents we had? Equal relationships don't work? Really? Oh poor god... he must be getting up there in years. So then he states, stand up for yourself, demand respect you are due as a human, contribute financially in some manner by employment or support of your man. Humm.. okay... so don't be hard nosed, lacking femininity and all that, wanting what you want, but stand up for yourself, DEMAND respect and all that... He isn't making sense. God has dementia.)
Rule #4. Men are not mind readers: its not his job to make you happy, its yours. If you want something from a man, then tell him, don't make him guess. A man who is in love with you will go to the ends of the earth to try and make you happy, but if you are unconscious about it, you will burn him out and use him up (not to mention his capacity to provide for you financially). Take responsibility for yourself, learn with him how to create a truly evolved and conscious relationship, only then will he be be able to take "radical responsibility" for both himself, and you, and the health and direction of your relationship.
(Again, what kind of women has this author been with that think men read minds? What is radical responsibility?)
Rule #5. Men are stupid. Its the nature of the relative disconnection in the two hemispheres of our brains. We don't have your emotional fluidity or ability to multitask. But we often do have a logical intelligence, and a strong heart which gives us the ability to conquer fear, and to go out and slay dragons in the world, especially in an economy like we have now. Integrity is a primary currency between men, we don't understand that this is not true for women. If you "say" you value integrity in your man, and he has given you his heart, then stop manipulating him with your superior emotional intelligence. Tell him straight what you need, in as many different ways as you can, and trust that he will hear you one day and figure out how to give it to you.
(Men are stupid? Well, many men are, I am sure, but I know many smart men! Not sure I would blame it on the hemispheres of the brain unless they are including the cock they enable and disabling real brain cells. Seriously... excuse after excuse for the man that needs a woman to cater to his every red flag and bitterness so that he can be a man! What does economics have to do with it? Again he seems to be confused and not lining up with things he says. Stop the presses! Did I just see a man say... stop manipulating him with your superior emotional intelligence? ROFL! That hemisphere thing again. Damn, there are differences, but the one side isn't completely dead. Adults can use both sides. I have known some pretty emotionally stupid women. So where does this leave us? Some angry guy that makes up excuses, begs for understanding, hangs on to his masculinity and doesn't want a woman to take it away by not being emotionally smarter and lacking in femininity and looks.)
Rule #6. Men want sex and have fantasies all the time, OK? He needs your feminine energy to be calm, collected and inspired as he goes out into the world to create a secure future for you both. Without it, men become neurotic, disoriented, and lose their sense of purpose. Think of it as sexual food: without which your man will wither and die. Yes, women have their needs too, but in men the need appears to be far more essential to their well-being and ability to function. If you dismiss, disregard, or try to suppress the sexual needs of your man, you will eventually lose him. Maybe not this week or this month, but certainly one day. What most men mean when they say "irreconcilable differences" is something like, she stopped giving me blow jobs (or whatever was his favorite bedroom activity) as soon as our honeymoon was over. What most women mean by "irreconcilable differences" something like, he stopped showing me affection and I no longer felt loved. This is a quid-pro quo: you don't get one without the other. It is the responsibility of you both to give the other what they need, consistently, and for long after the honeymoon is over. Your man needs regular "sexual healing", more than he even knows, or may be willing to admit to himself.
(Duh... we women have a few of our own and want sex too! He needs... oh yes... he needs your femininity to be calm, collected and inspired to go out into the world and secure your future. How about we take those women that are contributing, call him what he is... a basket case that needs a feminine woman catering to his sexual needs. Further example of the male needing this woman is that if they don't have this type of woman, men become neurotic, disoriented and lose a sense of purpose he says women should have in not depending on him to make her happy... and I could go on another chapter about all that neurotic, sexually needy, catering to his needs. Keeping a good man down... and making him neurotic... you nasty little fat bitches! This guy is a basket case, fifty one fifty. I can't finish the rest... I would have him committed and would go find a cool guy that wasn't so anally retentive, bitter and lost in his god like stance.)
THIS DUDE IS ONE FUCKED UP MOTHER FUCKER.
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No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!
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RE: Does it apply to D/s? Admonishment, apparently for ... - 
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