darkinshadows
Posts: 4145
Joined: 6/2/2004 From: UK Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: mistoferin quote:
ORIGINAL: lisa1978 I do think it is a miss perception of us newbies when people make posts with links. Yes, most are being nice and contributing, but some are being snotty with other comments and a new person can feel unwelcomed here. To me it is a total perception problem and not a substantive one. It does not happen when one person does it but when several do it, the perception gets created. Guess what? Perception becomes reality to people so when new people tell you they get put off or intimadated it is because they are. It is nobody's fault but is a reality and cannot be dismissed as "their problem". That is small thinking. Now I am sorry but some comments made on this thread about not wanting to restate their views over and over again on a topic combined with "helping" out us new people by suggesting thet research every thread on a topic we might start just reeks of arrogance. I am not implying that your view on the topic is less than anybody's elses, but I am sorry, to feel that a person new to a board should go back and do "homework" if they want an active discussion on something, combined with feeling your opinion must be heard by either feeling forced to repost it or refer to a prior discussion is arrogant. There are many message boards like this and a google search can find web pages on many of the thread started. The opinion of 10-30 people on this site is just not that special in the grand scheme of things. Sorry if that bruises egos on here. If you see a topic done to death, do not post, your opinion is just not that crucial. Do you want a preachy message board with self boasting and my way is the correct way or an interactive one where people feel welcomed and feel free to be active? I will be honest here, this is the first time I have posted on this board but I have been coming on and off to read for several years. What usually turns me off and I stop coming is when things here get to clicky and poeple with the right symbols by there names get unconditional respect and support and people with the wrong symbols get little respect and dumped on. Currently I have been greatly impressed but newbies have the right to actively engage in discussions they want to engage in. Even, God forbid, the sub versus slave debate. :) Wow. First I'd like to say that I am sorry that you view me as arrogant. If my honestly saying that I have lost my passion on some subjects offends you I apologize. It is though, a fact. I honestly don't think that providing links to someone new is a disservice. If they choose to follow them they will have the benefit of hearing their question answered from a multitude of viewpoints that are not so easily available without the links. I provide them as a courtesy and not to belittle them or blow them off. I provide very few links.....maybe 10 in the last 6 months....and they are usually because I remember something very specific about the thread that pertains to what they are asking. Second, I'd like to say that I don't expect you or anyone else to give me any more respect than the next guy based solely upon the number of posts I have made or the symbols next to my name. Third, I am not in any clique that I am aware of and I think that most people on here will tell you that at some point in time I have been in the directly opposing view as they....but it has not hindered my ability to get along with anyone here or even learn new things from someone that has differing views than my own. As I said before, I have no desire whatsoever to hinder anyone, especially someone new, from having an active discussion. I see the providing of links as supplemental to those discussions, not a brush off. Hey erin - not to interupt or stick my nose in but...(I will anyway ) Why do you have to say sorry or apologise for being you? Just because someone is making false assumptions instead of actively participating - doesn;t mean you did anything wrong. I know you are always polite and respectful, but from my pov - being yourself - as lovely and as helpful as you are - is more imprtant than someones judgement. Its the lack of communication skills that other people have that cause the problems, not you. Just my simple opinion. The world revolves - but not around individuals egos. Peace and Love
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.dark. ...i surrender to gravity and the unknown... |