RE: linking to topics in past forums... (Full Version)

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desertdancer -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 2:40:31 PM)

I have to add, I will be sad if those helpfull people who give us allthe links stop posting them because of this thread.  It would be an injustice for those of us who look forward to using them.

dancer



happypervert -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 2:49:00 PM)

quote:

The whole purpose for starting a topic is to find a fresh answer to your discussion.

LOL! Yeah, those old answers have gone stale and aren't good anymore . . . even though the fresh answers are exactly the same.



mistoferin -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 2:52:15 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: darkinshadows
Why do you have to say sorry or apologise for being you?


Ah dark....well you know me well enough by now to know that I have this left over Catholic guilt thing that I still deal with...lol.

All joking aside, it really does bother me to a degree when I am misperceived. I feel badly if someone is hurt or offended by my words unintentionally. I speak as honestly as I can and you also know me well enough by now that when I "intend" to be in someone's face....well there is no misunderstanding me at that point.

Hope all is well with you and yours and it's been good to see you around the boards again.



proudsub -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 3:04:22 PM)

quote:

i personally find it very helpful and wonder why offense is taken, there is nothing to say that the topic can't continue to be discussed even though it was discussed in the past, just that here are some previous discussions on the issue that might answer the question that the OP has posed.


I'm glad some find it useful the way the links are intended. The purpose is to help the OP or others in finding more information on the topic of discussion. Those who don't want that can just ignore the post with the links. I can't understand why some would consider it rude to try to be helpful in that way. Since LA has been doing such a good job and my time here is limited, i have cut way back on posting links, but i intend to do so when i think it is appropriate and might help someone.

edited to add: yes there have been some threads on this topic in the past, but i won't search for them or post links because this isn't the type of discussion that needs that.



lisa1978 -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 3:14:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

Wow.

First I'd like to say that I am sorry that you view me as arrogant. If my honestly saying that I have lost my passion on some subjects offends you I apologize. It is though, a fact. I honestly don't think that providing links to someone new is a disservice. If they choose to follow them they will have the benefit of hearing their question answered from a multitude of viewpoints that are not so easily available without the links. I provide them as a courtesy and not to belittle them or blow them off. I provide very few links.....maybe 10 in the last 6 months....and they are usually because I remember something very specific about the thread that pertains to what they are asking.

Second, I'd like to say that I don't expect you or anyone else to give me any more respect than the next guy based solely upon the number of posts I have made or the symbols next to my name.

Third, I am not in any clique that I am aware of and I think that most people on here will tell you that at some point in time I have been in the directly opposing view as they....but it has not hindered my ability to get along with anyone here or even learn new things from someone that has differing views than my own.

As I said before, I have no desire whatsoever to hinder anyone, especially someone new, from having an active discussion. I see the providing of links as supplemental to those discussions, not a brush off.


First of all I did not say that putting up prior links was arrogant an attack on LA or anything of that nature. I said in both of my post that there can be a miss conception. Sorry, but things are not black and white! On that point just trying to point out the grey in the issue.

My mean spirited remarks, which I do not feel sorry for, were in reply to a few but not one person that wrote replies in this thread. The remarks I commented were written in a way that were arrogant.

I will not take back my point... People who feel the need to voice their opinion on every thread that is a frequent subject on this site, THIS DOES NOT MEAN POSTING LINKS FOR HELPFUL PURPOSES, and feel obligated or frustrated because they write something over and over and/or want to refer people back because of something they wrote is arrogant. It becomes about them and not the subject.

This is not LA in my opinion at all by the way.

Bash me all you want for the arrogant remarks, I no it is not polite, but do not group it with my comments about the people who just list links. That is wrong and mistaking my comments right or wrong out of context.



darkinshadows -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 3:23:45 PM)

quote:

I will not take back my point... People who feel the need to voice their opinion on every thread that is a frequent subject on this site, THIS DOES NOT MEAN POSTING LINKS FOR HELPFUL PURPOSES, and feel obligated or frustrated because they write something over and over and/or want to refer people back because of something they wrote is arrogant. It becomes about them and not the subject.

Well, I have to say, that is wrong(IMO).  Because there are usually but a couple of people who do the regular reference back to older posts.  And they often contribute to the thread or are known as that is what they do on this site(and you are being specific about this site, which means you are singling out certain individuals, no matter how much you deny that).  And you are calling them arrogant?
 
I don't apologise for thinking you need to go back and have a look at those 'link posts' and justify where your name calling is in anyway correct.



LadiesBladewing -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 3:30:51 PM)

I have to be honest. I don't have a slew of time when it comes to things like message boards. When I first came to CC, I read the first couple of pages of posts -- beyond that was just far too time consuming.

I've noticed that there tends to be a repetition of questions asked, over a period of time. I'd expect this, as newcomers to the lifestyle try to get the answers to the most burning questions they have. It behooves us to remember when we were new, and to treat newcomers with the same amount of general respect that we were given or would like to have been given when we came out of our shell and started asking questions.

I try to remember what it was like to be new and have so many things I wanted to know, and no real idea of where to get good information. Sometimes it's annoying to answer the same questions, but it's different people, and not everyone has the luxury of either time to search all the topics to see if their specific question has been answered somewhere in the plethora of posts, or the ability to always know exactly what it is that they're trying to ask.

Just my few cents.

Da'Avatar ZWD


www.klashaan.org



LuckyAlbatross -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 3:36:07 PM)

quote:


Ah dark....well you know me well enough by now to know that I have this left over Catholic guilt thing that I still deal with...lol.

Does Jewish guilt beat Catholic guilt?  If so, remind me never to get you and my local partner in the same room together.

Anyway, I will point out that I *AM* arrogant in some ways, absolutely.  I just don't think posting links is an expression of my arrogance.

I'm glad that people are coming out with their feelings- it helps us really get to know the temper of the forums and respond well.  I really do think that the majority of us just want an enjoyable intellectual place of sharing. 



mistoferin -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 3:54:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: lisa1978

First of all I did not say that putting up prior links was arrogant an attack on LA or anything of that nature.

The remarks I commented were written in a way that were arrogant.

I will not take back my point... People who feel the need to voice their opinion on every thread that is a frequent subject on this site, THIS DOES NOT MEAN POSTING LINKS FOR HELPFUL PURPOSES, and feel obligated or frustrated because they write something over and over and/or want to refer people back because of something they wrote is arrogant. It becomes about them and not the subject.

This is not LA in my opinion at all by the way.

Bash me all you want for the arrogant remarks, I no it is not polite, but do not group it with my comments about the people who just list links. That is wrong and mistaking my comments right or wrong out of context.


Nowhere did I say anything about you attacking LA or calling people who provide links arrogant. What you said was:

quote:

Now I am sorry but some comments made on this thread about not wanting to restate their views over and over again on a topic combined with "helping" out us new people by suggesting thet research every thread on a topic we might start just reeks of arrogance. I am not implying that your view on the topic is less than anybody's elses, but I am sorry, to feel that a person new to a board should go back and do "homework" if they want an active discussion on something, combined with feeling your opinion must be heard by either feeling forced to repost it or refer to a prior discussion is arrogant. 


Now seeing as "I" am the one who made the remarks about not wishing to reply to the same topic over and over and forcing myself to give a half assed, less passionate reply than the topic deserves in this paragraph:

quote:


I can tell you that as a long time poster here, there are some topics that I simply don't post to anymore except in the most rare occasions. I don't because I have posted....and posted.....and posted on the subject to the point that I no longer feel the same passion about it, so it seems wise to me to point out a link to a post where I still wrote on the topic with "spark", rather than force myself to give a half assed, less than passionate answer.  


I had to assume that your comments were in direct reference to what I saw seeing as you referenced my exact sentiments. I am also the one who said that I will sometimes refer someone back to something I have previously posted...or I may even at times "repost" things....and in your latest reply you again call that arrogant.

There are very few of us on this website who provide links with any degree of regularity...most of us are here on this thread so I am not sure who else it is you might be referencing or calling arrogant.

I am also not exactly sure where you getting that I am "bashing" you. For goodness sake, I even went so far as to publicly apologize to you for unintentionally offending you.




Oumae -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 4:03:39 PM)

Well I guess its down to how we personally view things a bit like the half full or half empty glass.

I have added links to some postings on the boards where I have felt the OP or others interested in the topic might find some useful information. One example that comes to mind is when male subs ask how to find/approach a Domme, there were some excellent posts done before with a load of info that can help and that might not be repeated in a new thread on it.

I've only done it rarely as it can be time consuming so I think fair dues to the likes of proudsub and Em who put the time into finding the links.  Thanks from me for the effort  put into it.

Oumae



sabswife -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 4:16:39 PM)

i think its all about how its presented.. sometimes people are just being helpful and at times ive been given links on threads that i really enjoyed reading --- because the pools of people vary, and like was said, different things may have been said--- instant gratification i suppose when looking for direct information.

when i post something and get very little response other than a link with nothing other than that in the reply, it can be a bit discouraging, but i just click or i don't click.  depends on if i am just looking for information or if i have the time to contribute to an actual discussion at that time. 

it may seem condescending at times, but i suppose you can look at it this way, the poster could have just skipped your post, but instead they took the time to find and post a link to the information for you.

jmo




MistressSassy66 -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 4:23:42 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

LA...I think you should have posted a bunch of links about this topic.


Yep Aileen. 
I think it's rude of people to be harshing on LA's service kink.      [8D]

For those of us who have been around for awhile and cringe every time we see a topic that has been talked about ad naseum, it's nice when someone takes the trouble to post the links, that way we can know the newbie is getting some good info and we don't have to go near the thread.





Just to be clear here...I wasnt harping on anyone including LA who often has very good advice.
Its just that sometimes the way its put out there can make some feel a little
insecure.
I have enjoyed reading some and others like I mentioned dont quite fit the situation.

Take it with a grain of salt and move on to other sources of info.



Level -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 4:50:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

LA...I think you should have posted a bunch of links about this topic.


Yep Aileen. 
I think it's rude of people to be harshing on LA's service kink.      [8D]

For those of us who have been around for awhile and cringe every time we see a topic that has been talked about ad naseum, it's nice when someone takes the trouble to post the links, that way we can know the newbie is getting some good info and we don't have to go near the thread.



Woo hoo! your pic got the okay, I see, Katy-- veddy nice [8D]
 
As for the OP.... I agree with LA, I think the links are there to help, no one is forced to use them or acknowledge them, even.
 
doll made a good point, though....
 
quote:

I was told several times that I posted in the wrong section, this topic has been discussed so many times that we are tired of hearing about it,

 
That is rude. "Oh, look at the stupid newbie, har har"......



SweetSarijane -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 5:11:15 PM)

I don't mind the link posts. When I post a thread it's for fresh perspective on something and I welcome links to other discussions done on it as well. Best of both worlds thing. Yes I have seen a time or two past thread link posts with a condescending sentence or two, but overall no, it's done to help the OP find more info, more viewpoints. I definitely don't want to see the thread jerkers stop posting those links. Too much possible benefit to someone to use them to just no longer do so in my opinion.



proudsub -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 6:41:45 PM)

quote:

I've only done it rarely as it can be time consuming so I think fair dues to the likes of proudsub and Em who put the time into finding the links.  Thanks from me for the effort  put into it.


You're welcome, it's nice to be appreciated.

I would also like to mention that some of you newbies may enjoy some of the old threads and especially the posts from some of the old regulars that don't post here much anymore, MistressDread and Topcat come to mind, i always enjoyed their posts.



UtopianRanger -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 7:00:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

quote:

LA...I think you should have posted a bunch of links about this topic.


Yep Aileen. 
I think it's rude of people to be harshing on LA's service kink.      [8D]

For those of us who have been around for awhile and cringe every time we see a topic that has been talked about ad naseum, it's nice when someone takes the trouble to post the links, that way we can know the newbie is getting some good info and we don't have to go near the thread.



Agrees with Katy, Aileen, Emerald, Champange , etc etc.. I have never seen a link posted in way that attempts to insult the person posting the query. It's always done in friendly manner. I know that when I first started reading these forums, I was happy as hell when Emerald or Onceburned posted a link.

 And I agree with Katy.... I wanna puke every time I read where someone complains about a rude e-mail. Are people that weak and thin-skinned to let message from someone they don't even know bother them? Get over it.



 - R



tade -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 7:35:35 PM)

Glad to see debate and the right to disagree is still alive and well. I hope no one was offended to bad or upset by ANY posts in this thread as this was not the intention. Not the first hornet's nest I have unwittingly stirred up. But those stingers look so good I can't help myself...



Slipstreme -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 7:58:29 PM)

Actually, I find the service that proudsub and LA provide to be insanely helpful. It provides even more information than I would have found on my own. I have used the search function here for most of my questions, but have often found that unless you use the right terms, you get crap. Nothing but crap. So I like it when LA and proudsub can do the work for me in some cases.  :P



Bearlee -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 8:49:13 PM)

Fast Reply:

I have had three people…different times, different occasions, different circumstances… but THREE different people come up to me and say “You’re nice!” …as if I’m not.  By now I’m used to their somewhat quizzical look and the fact that they always repeat it:  “No really, you’re NICE!”  I’m to the place now where I just sigh…and they go on.  “When I first met you, I thought you were a bitch…but you’re not!  You’re nice!” 

I dunno…I think I’m nice…but apparently there’s something about me.  Perhaps it’s that I’m confident?  Perhaps it’s that I’m fairly no-nonsense?  Or that I’m not all that shy?  Perhaps it’s these thin lips?  Anyway, I wonder if it’s because I come from a boisterous family and have three brothers and I’m blunt as hell.  I think that scares people.

Anyway; the reason for all this: because sometimes it takes awhile to get to know people.  And here…online; it’s even harder; and even though I know this and even though I have personal experience with people not ‘getting’ me… I want to apologize to LA for at first raising an eyebrow at all those links.  At first I thought she was being condescending.  Yup, LA, I did……perhaps because I didn’t bother to look for other threads myself!  LOL   Anyway, I’ve really not been ‘on the boards’ all that long and the longer I’ve been on the more interesting I find so many of the regulars here. Sometimes it takes awhile to ‘get to know’ people…I’m glad I’ve hung around to get to ‘know’ LA cuz I’m hear to tell you…she is NOT being condescending nor rude.  She’s dispensing information in a clear, no-nonsense kinda way.  I like it…and…she’s nice!!!



sweetbbwsub31 -> RE: linking to topics in past forums... (6/6/2006 9:05:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Lordandmaster

It's not condescending and it's not rude.  Longtime users have seen the same questions asked over and over, and we've often reached the point, as mistoferin says, where we just don't have more to say about a certain topic.  But chances are, we've said a lot about it in the past.  A new user can (in fact, SHOULD) go and read what people have said, and then, if he or she still wants to discuss the topic, come back and revisit it.

But taking offense is simply irrational.  People post these links for your own benefit.  If you don't want to be bothered with them, just skip the list and move on to the next post.


I couldn't agree more. The whole point of the message boards is to inform. If I ask a question.. what is the difference if I get a fresh answer or one that was posted a month ago. It's still answering my questions. I don't know how LA does it. I can barely read the new stuff let alone remember threads I have seen in the past and go back to them.
 
If someone trying to be helpful offends you, remember that you have a choice to not read it. It's that simple. My theory is that for every newbie that gets annoyed there are a few more that find it to be helpful information.
 
sub tara



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