Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

Some advice on "exploring"


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Some advice on "exploring" Page: [1]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
Some advice on "exploring" - 5/28/2012 6:22:07 AM   
Justme1994


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/28/2012
Status: offline 		Hello. To start off I am only 18 so well I'm confidant enough to turn up to local groups I would feel a little unconformable, and would like to avoid it.

I am interested in exploring the way of life rather then purely for sex. Since a young age I have had, of course never really explored, this idea in my head that my girlfriends should submit to me. More in a day to day role then sex (as I said "young age"). I've always been careful about it until a while ago my now ex admitted to me sure was part of this kind of community.

Basically I'm looking for advice. Should I really start slowly exploring or what? Contact a few people in my local area or... what exactly should I start out doing?

Thanks for answering.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Some advice on "exploring" - 5/28/2012 6:25:47 AM   
Muttling


Posts: 1612
Joined: 9/30/2007
Status: offline 		Find a munch in your local area and start going to them. (A munch is a get together of BDSM people in a vanilla setting such as a restaurant.) Most areas have one or more that meet regularly. The best way to find one near you is to log on to Fetlife.com and look for groups in your area.

(in reply to Justme1994)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: Some advice on "exploring" - 5/28/2012 6:27:27 AM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Welcome to collarme!

I'm a definite proponent of getting into the local scene with local groups. Try Googling your area with "BDSM" added and see what turns up. I'd also suggest looking for TNG groups, which are ages 18-35.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to Justme1994)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: Some advice on "exploring" - 5/28/2012 7:58:26 AM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I know my thoughts differ than most on this subject. Imo, you're 18. You should be out exploring life in general, learning from your mistakes, having fun, enjoying different and varied things so that one day you will be more sure of what you want and don't want.

Imo at the ripe, young, age of 18 you are still learning about yourself and who you are and what you want in life. So, go ahead, experience bdsm but don't go full fledged into it. Experience other parts of life in general. By doing so you'll learn far more than automatically saying you're this or that and that you want this or that.



_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Some advice on "exploring" - 5/28/2012 7:59:54 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Look for the U35 groups in your country.  Just a difference in cultures.  On our side of the pond, we call them TNG (the next generation) groups.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: Some advice on "exploring" - 5/28/2012 9:43:24 AM   
Ilayda


Posts: 58
Joined: 9/3/2011
Status: offline 		I agree with the above posters. I'd also suggest starting a Fetlife profile - that's where I've found most of my offline BDSM friends.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Some advice on "exploring" - 5/28/2012 9:51:40 AM   
NiceButMeanGirl


Posts: 2756
Joined: 11/4/2011
From: Bellingham, WA U.S.A.
Status: offline 		Yes, Fetlife. Its also 100% free just like CM and it has a lot better search function for finding events in your local area than CM does. When you're on there, click on Events at the top of the page and, from there, click on the option Near Me. You should find lots. Good luck.

NBMG

_____________________________

I'm now SweetlySadistic1 on CollarSpace. NBMG is an old profile, please see my new one.


(in reply to Ilayda)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Some advice on "exploring" - 5/28/2012 1:10:15 PM   
Karmastic


Posts: 1650
Joined: 4/5/2012
From: Los Angeles
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I know my thoughts differ than most on this subject. Imo, you're 18. You should be out exploring life in general, learning from your mistakes, having fun, enjoying different and varied things so that one day you will be more sure of what you want and don't want.

Imo at the ripe, young, age of 18 you are still learning about yourself and who you are and what you want in life. So, go ahead, experience bdsm but don't go full fledged into it. Experience other parts of life in general. By doing so you'll learn far more than automatically saying you're this or that and that you want this or that.



i agree, well said.

also, people often totally change, or totally change what they want, during these years. don't jump head first.


_____________________________

[Awaiting Approval]

If my experience level makes you feel superior, that is your problem, not mine.

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Some advice on "exploring" - 5/28/2012 7:11:31 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Justme1994
Basically I'm looking for advice. Should I really start slowly exploring or what?

You have an idea which is interesting to you. You will never know if the actuality of that idea is interesting or not unless you explore. Besides... what's the risk? You explore and you like it or you don't. Much more likely is that you explore and you find the reality is nothing like what you imagined... at which point you either like it or you don't :)

quote:

what exactly should I start out doing?

The standard advice is google for a local munch and go from there. A munch is a low-key sort of way to approach the community. The one I went to was almost totally vanilla in appearance and not particularly intimidating.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to Justme1994)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Some advice on "exploring" - 5/28/2012 10:07:58 PM   
Blankpain


Posts: 127
Joined: 5/20/2010
Status: offline 		I didn't look to see if you're male or female but the advice is the same.
I'd suggest finding a traditional date - and - then - try the kink with that person.
If it doesn't work out. Try another. It will eventually work out just fine.

(in reply to JeffBC)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: Some advice on "exploring" - 5/30/2012 8:41:19 AM   
littlecherie


Posts: 137
Joined: 3/29/2012
Status: offline 		Trust me, more people use this as life stuff, not sexual things. Although it kind of all rolls into one for myself. Go to groups, talk to people, make friends :) It's fun! I always do 'vanilla' friends with my kinky friends.

_____________________________

LIGHTS
(hellionsLight)

http://anewslave.blogspot.com

(in reply to Blankpain)
Profile   Post #: 11
Page:   [1]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Some advice on "exploring" Page: [1]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.078