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Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 5:42:46 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		Rage Against the Machine

I have had a lot rage pent up lately. Nothing overly traumatic or anything like that. Just lots of work stress, not knowing if I will have a job tomorrow and life’s other irritating interruptions like things breaking around the house, car stereo quit working, house is up for sale with no showing in 4 months.

This made me think and reflect on one of the reasons I enjoy BDSM. For those that do not know me I am on the sub side of things and I have been in the lifestyle for 25+ years. There is a saying in bondage you can find freedom. I have found that to be very true for me. To me there is nothing like a good B&D session to let all those pent up frustrations out.

I am not talking all the time. Most of the time I am more than content to play however the Domme chooses. I do enjoy serving and do it willingly. But there are those times when I need to let my rage go. And when I say rage I do not mean aggressive anger. I never want to harm anyone but rather the opposite, I want someone to work me over and good. Both mentally and physically.

I think this is a fairly common phenomena for subs. I have read more than once very dominant men in their vanilla life seeking release via BDSM.

For the Alpha subs out there, do you seek this type of release from time to time?

I am also curious for the Dom(mes) out there. Do you utilize BDSM to work out you normal day to day frustrations when they come to a head? Do you find yourself more aggressive than normal when you notice that pent up rage?


_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled
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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 5:53:02 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		If I feel angry the LAST THING I want to do is pick up a toy. When Hugh left me, I actually took a year off from playing, I was so afraid some poor guy was going to trip my trigger and wind up in the hospital.

Playing is very cheering and relaxing under the best circumstances, though.

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 5:53:22 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I'm not an alpha sub so I doubt what I say will really be of any use here but, I couldn't play if I was enraged (although it's not my decision). When I become enraged about something I need to stay away from all people and go off somewhere quiet and peaceful to pray and meditate so that I can get balanced again.

If I was to play while enraged it would only make my rage worse and it would hurt both of us emotionally and possibly physically. I would probably hate him and not want to speak to him for a long long time. It would also worsen my depression by destroying everything I worked so hard to accomplish against my illness.

I know some subs though where playing helps them to release their anger. I'm guessing it's a cathartic thing for them, giving them I guess a safe place where they feel they can just let go. For me it's just the opposite. It's not a safe place at all. lol

There have been times too where Master would not touch me at all because he was afraid he'd hurt me through his anger. Yes he's a sadist but the last thing he wants to do is destroy his toy permanently.



< Message edited by littlewonder -- 5/29/2012 5:55:04 PM >

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 6:03:33 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		I did not want to use the word anger and I do agree that when you are truly angry, it not a good thing to play. So anger is not the emotion I really mean. I think frustration is a more accurate word for what I was trying to get at. Though for some it might not matter.

Think of it more like a vacation. When you have worked hard all year you look very forward to being able to relax on vacation. You are able to let all the stress building up all year go. Not a perfect analogy but its a little more accurate than saying anger.

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Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 6:10:58 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		Stress isnt the same thing at all for me, and work rarely stresses me. Right now, for instance, I'm on a family holiday, and am ready to bite down hard on someone. But I'll chill out easily enough.

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 6:16:14 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		Ok, I don't see that as frustration. When I have time off and I can finally let go, it just means we both can have a breather from life and let go and concentrate on us instead of everything in life. We don't have to be taking care of all the little things in life. So for us it just means we get to spend more time together doing things we enjoy together.

When I'm frustrated and stressed even just from life in general, again I don't think I like to play. I'd rather be alone to relax,pray and meditate. Once I'm relaxed and happy again, that's when I want to play so I don't feel like and he's not thinking he's just there as my stress reliever lol.


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Everything has changed

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 6:20:07 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		Are you still on the beach?

I used to use kayaking a a great stress relief. The Great Miami river on the west side of Cincinnati has a nice current. So paddling up stream for 3 or 4 hours is a good work out to let the stress out. And then take a gentle 1 hour paddle back to the car.

I do enjoy my job. I actually really enjoy it. But the stress does build up overtime and BDSM is one of my outlets for it. Weird part is I really do not know how to define the emotion. Its not anger or resentment or a negative emotion because I am unhappy about something. But there is something that build up from time to time and needs to be let out. hmmm.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 6:29:01 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

I am also curious for the Dom(mes) out there. Do you utilize BDSM to work out you normal day to day frustrations when they come to a head? Do you find yourself more aggressive than normal when you notice that pent up rage?



I might be the odd one out in this...but...no. Daily frustrations will actually shut me down. I tend to withdraw from scening until I have dealt with the excess energy. Usually with playing Pokemon or Spider Solitaire, shopping or yard work, etc. I don't need long.

The hunger for hard scenes builds from peace and relaxation and from getting service. The more my boy sees that I am relaxed and waited on well, the more predatory I begin to feel.

By observing him, I can tell that when he feels under pressure from...his truck needing a new part, stuff in his house breaking down, people in his face, he needs to release that pressure through bondage and screaming, and is relaxed and calm for maybe five days to two weeks afterward. bo has been under a lot of stress these past three months. When I see he is getting too wound up I'll work him over real good just to get his focus back on me; I am his safe harbor and he can find calmness through me. It's partly a caretaking mode thing as well as being a selfish thing on my part. I don't know how to explain this better.

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 6:30:46 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

Ok, I don't see that as frustration. When I have time off and I can finally let go, it just means we both can have a breather from life and let go and concentrate on us instead of everything in life. We don't have to be taking care of all the little things in life. So for us it just means we get to spend more time together doing things we enjoy together.

When I'm frustrated and stressed even just from life in general, again I don't think I like to play. I'd rather be alone to relax,pray and meditate. Once I'm relaxed and happy again, that's when I want to play so I don't feel like and he's not thinking he's just there as my stress reliever lol.



Littlewonder,
I have actually wondered if that having a partner might change that in me. I have not had a partner for over 8 years now. So gaining peace with my partner when we both have time off is not an option for me at this point. I could see how that might change things though if I did.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 6:36:10 PM   
MalcolmNathaniel


Posts: 1394
Joined: 9/20/2010
Status: offline 		Absolutely not.

Taking frustrations out on a sub is abuse, not play.

Much better to put holes in paper at the range. Sure your accuracy sucks, but it's very good at getting rid of stress.

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 6:36:39 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

I am also curious for the Dom(mes) out there. Do you utilize BDSM to work out you normal day to day frustrations when they come to a head? Do you find yourself more aggressive than normal when you notice that pent up rage?



I might be the odd one out in this...but...no. Daily frustrations will actually shut me down. I tend to withdraw from scening until I have dealt with the excess energy. Usually with playing Pokemon or Spider Solitaire, shopping or yard work, etc. I don't need long.

The hunger for hard scenes builds from peace and relaxation and from getting service. The more my boy sees that I am relaxed and waited on well, the more predatory I begin to feel.

By observing him, I can tell that when he feels under pressure from...his truck needing a new part, stuff in his house breaking down, people in his face, he needs to release that pressure through bondage and screaming, and is relaxed and calm for maybe five days to two weeks afterward. bo has been under a lot of stress these past three months. When I see he is getting too wound up I'll work him over real good just to get his focus back on me; I am his safe harbor and he can find calmness through me. It's partly a caretaking mode thing as well as being a selfish thing on my part. I don't know how to explain this better.


Cynthia,
You bring up a good point. The people I choose to play with I fully trust. And that trust does not come easily. So when I need to let that frustration out I need to be able to trust the person whom I am playing with. And I thing you put it nicely in that She is my safe harbor. She will take me where I need to go but at the same time I can feel totally safe even though I might be screaming me head off at the moment.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 6:47:56 PM   
SubvsSlave


Posts: 201
Joined: 4/6/2011
Status: offline 		Hi mummyman,

I completely understand where you are coming from and when Master binds me and works me over I enjoy the most sublime peace. I'm Alpha at work and my profession is stressful. I own my home as well (2 years into it) so I have been enjoying the headaches that go along with it.

I find that running helps me with some of that stress but not nearly on the same level as when my Master gives me a good working over.

I hope you are able to get your release. Stress is a bitch when it continues to compound.

subvsslave

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 7:07:30 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		This may be different for Me because I am a top.  Maybe you can help Me to see if it's seen in the same way. 

Rage or anger, no.  I have had to call My own scene before because My emotional distress wasn't conducive to play.  Not over things such as you've described above.  I think that's a lesson that we all learn at some point.

If you look at it in the same way as you would from releasing minor concerns in the fashion that it parallels to a good, long workout, I'm right there with you.  Stress from even small things builds up in the muscles.  Swinging floggers for a while will help to let that go.  It also gives that mental break because I'm focusing on the play, rather than whatever caused Me to want stress relief in the first place.  Top space for a little while?  Hey, that's always a bonus. 

It's kind of funny because usually when this subject comes up, there is almost always someone who chimes in that using play to relieve stress is a bad idea.  Yet, what is one of the first recommendations heard for vanilla folks?  Get more exercise.  I just have a different way of going about that.


_____________________________

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Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 7:22:55 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		World of difference between getting exercise and playing when you're angry.

_____________________________

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 7:26:59 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		Nope, if I am angry I don't want to play, it's more something I want to do to enhance a good mood even further... In a bad mood, my BDSM desire wanes.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

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(in reply to mummyman321)
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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 7:32:00 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

This may be different for Me because I am a top.  Maybe you can help Me to see if it's seen in the same way. 

Rage or anger, no.  I have had to call My own scene before because My emotional distress wasn't conducive to play.  Not over things such as you've described above.  I think that's a lesson that we all learn at some point.

If you look at it in the same way as you would from releasing minor concerns in the fashion that it parallels to a good, long workout, I'm right there with you.  Stress from even small things builds up in the muscles.  Swinging floggers for a while will help to let that go.  It also gives that mental break because I'm focusing on the play, rather than whatever caused Me to want stress relief in the first place.  Top space for a little while?  Hey, that's always a bonus. 

It's kind of funny because usually when this subject comes up, there is almost always someone who chimes in that using play to relieve stress is a bad idea.  Yet, what is one of the first recommendations heard for vanilla folks?  Get more exercise.  I just have a different way of going about that.



Lady Pact,
I think you did an excellent job of describing what I was trying to say with my poor choice of words. Exercise and an excellent anology to what I was trying to describe.

I knew the subject would be polarizing and people would take stands on both sides. My poor choice of words did not help either.

Now the excercise questions bring up some other questions then. I sort of wondered is it a testosterone thing? A recent blood test had my over 1000 which for a guy my age is rather high. But the exercise thing allows the release of 2 other hormones, endorphines and enkephalins. These latch on to the opioid receptors and give that euphoric feeling after exercise or even a good BDSM session. The harder the excercise the more endorphines and enkephalins that are released. And lack of exercise can lead to the build up of stress. A very interesting point!

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 7:38:03 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

Nope, if I am angry I don't want to play, it's more something I want to do to enhance a good mood even further... In a bad mood, my BDSM desire wanes.


Angry was a poor choice of words on my part. I did not mean anger. I think stress is more accurate. I do find it interesting thought some people need to be calm and relaxed to let out their "rage". That is rather ironic is someways. But understand each person has their own mechanism for release.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 7:46:51 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I must be doing something wrong because they say exercise releases all those good chemicals but after I exercise the only thing I feel is sore and tired and grumpy.

But if we're playing hard or I'm in tight strict bondage then I get those chemical releases. It's the only time in my entire life I have ever had them.


_____________________________

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Everything has changed

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 7:56:22 PM   
mummyman321


Posts: 2102
Joined: 10/31/2005
From: Dusseldorf
Status: offline 		I went through a pain clinic many years ago after having a spinal cord injury and several back surgeries. Everyone is a little different but you can learn to release those chemicals in your body. The key is finding out the triggers for you to release it.

Everyone has done it without ever thinking about it. A good example is having finger injury like burn or cut where it just throbs. But then you can be looking at the window daydreaming, or talking to someone or some other activity and you totally forget the pain. Then someone jerks you back to reality and asks how is your hand doing? Then you feel that throbbing come back almost instantly. This is classic example of where the endorphines and enkephalins latched on to the pain receptors and blocked the pain signals. Its rather amazing the body can do this. Its also amazing how quickly they unlatch and you feel pain again.

_____________________________

Life - Its not about where you are but about the journey to get there - I prefer to choose the road less traveled

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RE: Rage Against the Machine - 5/29/2012 8:03:08 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Rage Against the Machine

I have had a lot rage pent up lately. Nothing overly traumatic or anything like that. Just lots of work stress, not knowing if I will have a job tomorrow and life’s other irritating interruptions like things breaking around the house, car stereo quit working, house is up for sale with no showing in 4 months.

This made me think and reflect on one of the reasons I enjoy BDSM. For those that do not know me I am on the sub side of things and I have been in the lifestyle for 25+ years. There is a saying in bondage you can find freedom. I have found that to be very true for me. To me there is nothing like a good B&D session to let all those pent up frustrations out.

I am not talking all the time. Most of the time I am more than content to play however the Domme chooses. I do enjoy serving and do it willingly. But there are those times when I need to let my rage go. And when I say rage I do not mean aggressive anger. I never want to harm anyone but rather the opposite, I want someone to work me over and good. Both mentally and physically.

I think this is a fairly common phenomena for subs. I have read more than once very dominant men in their vanilla life seeking release via BDSM.

For the Alpha subs out there, do you seek this type of release from time to time?

I am also curious for the Dom(mes) out there. Do you utilize BDSM to work out you normal day to day frustrations when they come to a head? Do you find yourself more aggressive than normal when you notice that pent up rage?


Absofreakinlutely! There's nothing like a good beat down to get me to The Happy and let go of stress.

Amen, brother!

_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


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