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evesgrden -> RE: When a sub is mad at you. (6/10/2012 8:30:03 AM)
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Let's back up the bus here for a minute folks.
Your submissive is not speaking to you???? If he is so pissed off that he wants to end it, he needs to say he's done with you, that you went too far. But not speaking to you??? WTF?
That's childish, like having a temper tantrum or emotional blackmail. If there's a relationship issue, then both of you have to be grownups and resolve it whether that means salvaging it or ending it. But not talking???? If he won't communicate what's wrong, if he won't man up and tell you off, tell you how you've hurt him, tell you how he can't get it out of his head it was such a low blow.. whatever, then just remember, this is going to happen again... for a lesser "infraction" next time. You may deserve to feel like crap over whatever you did, but his methods reflect a bigger problem in my book.
This is a power trip on his part. He's making you suffer till he tells you he's done, or he's making you suffer till he tells you he'll forgive you. That's just a shitty thing to do someone.
In any relationship, the real power is held by the person who is least vested in the relationship's success. You can agree to whatever you want with respect to how you will relate and who decides what, but the real power is held by the person who is most willing to walk.
d/s or vanilla, I'd tell him that you would like to work on the relationship, you would like to earn his forgiveness, but you won't be blackmailed or kept hanging any longer. If you don't hear from him by (pick a time.. tonight, tomorrow morning .. whatever) with the express intent of working on the relationship, then you will take that as a goodbye on his part.
Period.
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