Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (Full Version)

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BitaTruble -> Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 8:53:07 PM)

Humpty dumpty had a great fall.
The submissive beneath all ready to beg
Got cracked on the head and slimed by an egg.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

To discuss the pros and cons of pedestals in long term M/s relationships.

Pedestals tend to be shaky things at best and the higher one is built the harder it becomes to balance without falling and squashing what's underneath but I think that a very solid foundation, keeping things realistic and in perspective.. well, it's possible to build a small one that won't come crashing down around your ears at the slightest sign of truble and, in fact, on the days when getting struck by lightening sounds cool, I like to crawl up there with him in the storm and enjoy the ride and if the lightening strikes and we fall down at least we'll be crispy critters together.

It seems to me that an s type would be much more likely to put their Master on a pedestal than the other way around so having the tools and patience to build a solid foundation would be a skill that an s type could cultivate if he was pedestally minded. After all, it's not the person sitting on the pedestal who generally puts themselves there .. it's the one kneeling at the base when all is said and done.

Pedestals - pros and cons and does size matter? [;)]



littlewonder -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 8:56:51 PM)

He's on a pedestal but not so high that he can't reach down and pick me up from time to time and place me in his arms.



DesFIP -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:02:02 PM)

I'm not sure that people don't put themselves on pedestals, especially the ones with the least right to be there. Otherwise, why would there be all those "I am your master now" first emails and all those very young women claiming they are goddesses?

Here, I'm not allowed to worship him. He knows he's fallible and therefore wants to try to prevent mistakes. If he believed himself incapable of error, he'd be making them a lot more. He wants me to have his back and that includes pointing out when he's heading for a fall.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:06:11 PM)

I really am not into being seen as 'above' in that way. Too much pressure.



Lockit -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:07:15 PM)

I think there can be a balance. It is only when that pedestal is based in unrealistic idolization or created projection that people come crashing down. I can adore, cherish and deeply love, but rarely would put someone on a pedestal and I rarely would want to be sitting on one. [:D]

I'll just sit in my Cleopatra chair with someone adoring me for all the right reasons and call it good.



BitaTruble -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:19:17 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I really am not into being seen as 'above' in that way. Too much pressure.


How would you combat that if someone placed you up there.. even if it were a smallish pedestal? Is it asking someone to change a feeling they may have for you or perhaps they believe it's a place you've earned?

I agree it's a lot of pressure. I'm not so sure that a lot can be done about it other than being honest with how you feel being up there. Once you give fair warning and s type keeps you up there.. if you fall off and squash 'em, isn't that on them and more importantly.. if it did come crashing down, would a solid long term M/s relationship be able to withstand the fall?



mummyman321 -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:23:20 PM)

Bita,
I see it both ways. 1) The person thinks they are better than ever one else and has put themselves on a pedestal. 2) The s put thier Dom(me) on a pedestal.

In case #1 that person generally is going to be disappointed because no one will ever live up to their expectation. In case number 2 I just do not know. The person thinks their Dom(me) is the greatest person in the world. I do not see that as bad unless the Dom(me) does stupid things. But personally I just perfer to have a good relationship without blowing smoke up someones ass [;)]




BitaTruble -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:27:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I think there can be a balance. It is only when that pedestal is based in unrealistic idolization or created projection that people come crashing down. I can adore, cherish and deeply love, but rarely would put someone on a pedestal and I rarely would want to be sitting on one. [:D]

I'll just sit in my Cleopatra chair with someone adoring me for all the right reasons and call it good.

I might be misremembering (and please forgive me if I am) but I seem to recall in the past, that someone who used to post here did put you on a pedestal. If I haven't confused you with another poster, I do recall there was some discomfort up there on your part and, perhaps, even some disobedience.

Does one really have a choice in whether or not they are put in a position like that even if it makes them uncomfortable to be there?

(Whether or not I've had a memory loss here.. I won't be offended if you just say 'nunya' to me. I'm just curious.)



BitaTruble -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:28:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

He's on a pedestal but not so high that he can't reach down and pick me up from time to time and place me in his arms.

That too. [:)]



BitaTruble -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:30:59 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I'm not sure that people don't put themselves on pedestals, especially the ones with the least right to be there. Otherwise, why would there be all those "I am your master now" first emails and all those very young women claiming they are goddesses?


This thread is specific to long term M/s relationships.

quote:

Here, I'm not allowed to worship him. He knows he's fallible and therefore wants to try to prevent mistakes. If he believed himself incapable of error, he'd be making them a lot more. He wants me to have his back and that includes pointing out when he's heading for a fall.


Fair enough. You won't have to worry about egg goo. [;)]



BitaTruble -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:39:01 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: mummyman321

Bita,
I see it both ways. 1) The person thinks they are better than ever one else and has put themselves on a pedestal. 2) The s put thier Dom(me) on a pedestal.

In case #1 that person generally is going to be disappointed because no one will ever live up to their expectation. In case number 2 I just do not know. The person thinks their Dom(me) is the greatest person in the world. I do not see that as bad unless the Dom(me) does stupid things. But personally I just perfer to have a good relationship without blowing smoke up someones ass [;)]




Interesting perspective. Do you think it's possible for someone to be silent in their admiration and the dominant not even being aware they are on a pedestal at all? Would that eliminate the need to send smoke signals? [:D]



Lockit -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:39:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BitaTruble


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I think there can be a balance. It is only when that pedestal is based in unrealistic idolization or created projection that people come crashing down. I can adore, cherish and deeply love, but rarely would put someone on a pedestal and I rarely would want to be sitting on one. [:D]

I'll just sit in my Cleopatra chair with someone adoring me for all the right reasons and call it good.

I might be misremembering (and please forgive me if I am) but I seem to recall in the past, that someone who used to post here did put you on a pedestal. If I haven't confused you with another poster, I do recall there was some discomfort up there on your part and, perhaps, even some disobedience.

Does one really have a choice in whether or not they are put in a position like that even if it makes them uncomfortable to be there?

(Whether or not I've had a memory loss here.. I won't be offended if you just say 'nunya' to me. I'm just curious.)



LOL... Your memory is just fine. Only, it wasn't an honest pedestal. It was a manipulative one. I hated it even before it was revealed that it was manipulative and I got to meet his wonderful wife and become friends with her. *smile*

There have been men that came by that pedestal a bit more honestly. There were two types. One I was okay with and the other I wasn't. If they could see my flaws and didn't expect perfection and really saw me, it was all good. Anything other than that, I step aside. I just won't go there.



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:39:42 PM)

I do want to be admired, certainly. My experice is of someone who was insisting on making me a goddess, when I was just not interested in that kind of thing. I wanted *connection*, not worship.

Just a little pedestal, so he can see up my skirt, like? Yeah, I could handle that. :)



BitaTruble -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:50:10 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit


There have been men that came by that pedestal a bit more honestly. There were two types. One I was okay with and the other I wasn't. If they could see my flaws and didn't expect perfection and really saw me, it was all good. Anything other than that, I step aside. I just won't go there.


First, thank you for the share. I hadn't thought about being manipulated until mummymans post now reiterated by your own.

Food for thought.. so thanks to both of you while I ponder.



BitaTruble -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 9:52:49 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I do want to be admired, certainly. My experice is of someone who was insisting on making me a goddess, when I was just not interested in that kind of thing. I wanted *connection*, not worship.


Mortals do appear much easier to two-way with than Gods and Goddesses.

quote:

Just a little pedestal, so he can see up my skirt, like? Yeah, I could handle that. :)

[:D] Hadn't thought of that either.. I can't say that I've seen Himself in a lot of skirts over the years.. could make for an interesting Saturday night though.



littlewonder -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 10:00:50 PM)

I think it was pretty much a mutual pedestal. I feel like he is above me. He's smarter than me, he is a better person than I am, and yes he may make mistakes from time to time but he owns up to them and corrects them if he can. He likes that I worship him and I like worshipping him. It was never a requirement. It just worked out that way because I find him awesome. [:)]



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 10:01:06 PM)

Utilikilts are also pleasing and useful.

I really do prefer the mutual admiration society. So even though the 'yes, ma'am' in just that tone... well, you know.[;)]I want to be called by my name or some term of affection, not Mistress.



NuevaVida -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/15/2012 11:36:07 PM)

No pedestals here. I love him, I respect him, I submit to him, but he is human, just like me. He was the first to say, straight from the get-go, that he's a fallible human being, and he'll make mistakes, albeit with good intentions. He isn't interested in being on any pedestal any more than I'm interested in putting him on one.

Doesn't change the fact that he owns my ass and that I do what he wants me to do. [;)]



SoulAlloy -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/16/2012 12:11:18 AM)

I've been guilty of building shaky pedestals, I could certainly use those tools lol - my heart has a habit of overtaking my head...



LadyHibiscus -> RE: Humpty dumpty sat on a wall.. (6/16/2012 12:23:44 AM)

Lucky me, my heart and head are equal in their lack of pragmatism!



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