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RE: Online relationships - 6/18/2012 12:57:49 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
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quote:

I sure would like to hear from anybody who considers my life and relationships to be of the "in the stands watching and/or dreaming" ilk. Yes, I surely would like to hear from anybody who thinks that's how I live. And then, I'll compare notes with that person. Mmm hmmm.

I think everyone else is talking about romantic relationships. When these are online, people tend to project their fantasies onto the other person. Wouldn't this be less of an issue for platonic relationships?

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RE: Online relationships - 6/18/2012 1:00:59 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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For me personally it would be the same for platonic relationships. It takes a lot for me to find someone as a friend. Everyone else is just an acquaintance or forum member or chat buddy.

My requirements are the same as searching for a partner in the basic sense and I can only know that in person and not online.

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RE: Online relationships - 6/18/2012 3:13:26 PM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
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I had an online relationship when I was just starting out, back as a teenager still living at home, it was my first experience of D/s not just s/m play...

I would say that others are right... to me, if someone doesnt say why its online only married and cheating springs to mind which wont help

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RE: Online relationships - 6/19/2012 12:27:27 AM

tiemetight247

Posts: 13
Joined: 5/30/2012
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did the online thing for quite some time....gets old banging yourself

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RE: Online relationships - 6/19/2012 12:41:51 AM

Thaz

Posts: 617
Joined: 4/28/2012
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Helped invent online relationships back before the www.

Sure they can work and they can really help maintain one.

For people you havent met beware it moves that first date chemistry check back down the line which can be a little odd. You can really match minds, really think you like someone and yet when you meet there isnt a 'zap' and its going nowhere. But sometimes there is :-)

CP aint wrong when she points out our minds fill in the blanks.

OP>If you ARE married or otherwise commited then just SAY so. Plenty of married folks play here. If your not SAY why. You come off as someone whith something to hide which is never good.

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RE: Online relationships - 6/19/2012 12:58:25 AM

SexyThoughts

Posts: 180
Joined: 7/14/2011
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Just coming in from the other direction. I'm listed as online-only because I'm not looking and it's the wimpiest setting you can pick, without closing your account. Online isn't a relationship, it's being penpals or more than platonic friends.

I am currently looking for a relationship on a vanilla dating site, someone with a touch of kink. Rather than a mostly kinky relationship with a touch of vanilla.

(It's just numbers, today CM had 25 kinky CM women in NZ visit (incluing Pro's) while 25,000 tapped a vanilla dating site. The last play party had 50women, including couples)

I know some pro's through my rigging and other services, so kink isn't a problem. Finding a connection with someone during the boring bits between the sexy time is the hard part, and it's a thousand times easier when you don't have to be discreet.

So my CM accounts on autopilot, while I pose elsewhere for clothed shots showing my face.

It's not a CM criticism, I've had one and half very good relationships off here, which is better than some sites.

< Message edited by SexyThoughts -- 6/19/2012 1:57:54 AM >

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RE: Online relationships - 6/19/2012 6:29:25 AM

Rochsub2009

Posts: 2536
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quote:

ORIGINAL: trebor50

Hi.

I have been on Collarme for some time, my current situation on allows for an online raltionship, which I know is not ideal, I have had a couple of relationships, which have ended to to circumstances beyond my control.

Would be grateful if anyone out there could give me some pointers on what I am doing wrong.......

Without knowing you, nor having been a participant in any of the on-line relationships that didn't work out for you, it's difficult for complete strangers to tell you what you're doing wrong.

Perhaps the person that you were interacting with was a fake/scammer. Perhaps they didn't like your personality. Perhaps you led with your kink instead of showing interest in them as a person. Perhaps they didn't like the fact that you lived so far away.

There are so many potential reasons why things didn't work out. But the fact that you're seeking a relationship on-line drastically reduces your chances of success. So perhaps you'll give real life a chance, and stop searching on-line.

BTW, sorry if you've already explained why you are searching on-line. I don't feel like reading your profile or any of the comments that have already been shared. I'm lazy like that.

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RE: Online relationships - 6/19/2012 2:57:32 PM

LadyPact

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Every time the online thing comes up, there is one distinguishing factor that doesn't get mentioned. Are we talking about online between people who have never met or online because people are separated by circumstance?

If you move away from your family and only have online contact due to the separation, they don't stop being your family. You have a preexisting relationship that you are tiding over with online interaction until you can be with them again. For example, I don't stop being married because My husband would happen to get deployed. At the same time, I don't consider anyone that I haven't met in the physical world on that kind of level.

There is absolutely nothing that someone can provide to Me as an online only relationship that I can't find in the physical world. The same can not be said in reverse. To Me, online is very much like settling for less. I don't want to do that in My life.

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RE: Online relationships - 6/19/2012 3:29:49 PM

sunshinemiss

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Joined: 11/26/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: SailingBum

Comparing a collage class to a online BDSM relationship as one imparts knowledge and the other is more about feelings.

BadOne

Hello Darling,

We're talking apples and oranges, I think. I was responding to "it's not a relationship" mentioned earlier - which is why I brought up work, family, and friendship relationships - all of which I have online. I'm pretty sure I have feelings toward my sisters - sometimes they drive me crazy, but those are feelings nonetheless. :)

We have a variety of media set up in society these days in which we can interact. The first time a smoke signal was sent or mirrors used to send messages, we started having long distance relationships. They are only as good as the persons on either end. This is not really a new phenomenon. The availability of it to the masses is new.

I will say though that romantic relationships are difficult from a distance. There needs to be a dang strong foundation in order to maintain them. Lady Pact brings up the point of her husband being deployed. Women have been (and more men recently) left at home due to military deployment and maintained relationships with their sweethearts. It's not new. There's a reason people wrote letters and sent them to the front - to maintain the relationships. I've had one or two long distance, romantic relationships in my time - after being involved in real life - and they are exponentially more difficult. But relationships that have strong foundations - marriage, family, longterm friendships, etc. - can utilize the technology to get over the gap.

Other relationships - like work, university, etc. - can also be successful if your goal fits within the medium. I do writing projects with people in other countries. Writing is predominantly a solitary activity. It doesn't matter if I send the my part via email or hand him a piece of paper face to face. He just needs my words. In fact, in some ways it is better this way. I am able to work with his portion right away if I'm in "Creative Mind" and not have to deal with all the niceties of manners. Someone who is editing my work, doesn't need to talk to me. They need to just share info with me. Tidy little boxes in a document are more than sufficient for that.

There are always ways relationships can work - it's a matter of being realistic and not expecting more from them than the medium allows. I sure would like a piece of my mom's pumpkin pie, though!

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