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RE: Previous submissives - 6/18/2012 8:56:32 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: chatterbox24

Then you get the ones who refuse to talk about the past ......nor do you know anyone who knows their past.

How do you handle that one? Do you walk or stay and see.

I walk. I don't have the patience to put up with bullshit. I have dated men like that and it was like pulling teeth to get info from them. I always walked away. It's just not worth it.

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RE: Previous submissives - 6/18/2012 9:11:11 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I admit there was a time when I was first dating Master and he would tell me about the previous women in his life At first I kinda cringed until he went on to explain them and I got to know him better and realize that he was not the same man he had described from those times with those women. It was a bit of a concern to me at first for awhile but I gave him the benefit of the doubt because of the other factors that made him so damn attractive to me. I also kept wondering if I was like those women from the past and made me examine myself because I started thinking of his track record and that I was just like them and that's why he found me attractive. In the end it all worked out though and I'm glad I gave him that benefit and that I was not as bad as his other women....weeeelll...not completely.

I was very cautious with Master at first. We had been friends for three years before we dated. So, I know who he dated and how many he dated. I had been with my previous Dominant for 6 years. The running joke was that he dated everyone, while I dated one. I had no interest in being a notch on his bedpost. We took it slow and he understood.

But, I'll also differentiate between dating for fun and a series of disastrous relationships because you've chosen the same person over and over.

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RE: Previous submissives - 6/18/2012 10:46:33 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl
Would you / do you take into consideration a Dominants previous submissives when deciding if he's the one for you?

When I consider a life mate, I'm taking into account everything. That includes their past which includes their past relationships and partners.

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I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
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RE: Previous submissives - 6/18/2012 1:28:38 PM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

Then you get the ones who refuse to talk about the past ......nor do you know anyone who knows their past.

How do you handle that one? Do you walk or stay and see.

I would find this lack of openness very disconcerting. Can you give an example? You asked X and he replied?

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RE: Previous submissives - 6/20/2012 9:12:54 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Responsibility for the failure of a relationship is always 50/50. She may have had unaddressed issues, but he chose someone with those unaddressed issues.

I would find out on the first date if they took any responsibility for the failure of the past relationship. And if they had gotten help in dealing with their issues. Because it doesn't matter what the last relationship was like if between then and now he's done two years of therapy. That means more to me than the past.

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Post #: 25