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subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 3:34:37 AM

fatslag12

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/23/2012
Status: offline

hi everybody :)

just wondering, how people feel about getting messages from subs (or even Dom/mes), such as this:

'im a sub fem im TOTALLY inactive due to poor health and have been for some time,,,,the/my male dom is firm but faiir,safe sane clean,vastly experanced and respected so much he gets invited to sessions and parties, to demo the safe use of equipment We are genuine and fed up with time wasters,so be good that after some communication here,once comfortable you cud call with hold ur number and just say hello to prove things both ways..we are looking for ongoing WITH the male dom, please reply good or bad thankyou xx'

does this inspire you to message said Dom? do you even respond to her? if so, what would you say (to either)?

whilst i've posted in the 'ask a sub' forum, i'm interested in hearing from anybody with an opinion... not that i think anybody here would hold back for not being sub

thanks!

Post #: 1

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 3:39:59 AM

Endivius

Posts: 1238
Joined: 8/22/2011
Status: offline

It tells me you need to be more original. The dom sounds lazy and the subs poor communication skills makes me think it's a guy looking for wank fodder.

_____________________________

Basically if you can't inspire someone to trust you deeply, you aren't going to be able to buy that or a reasonable facsimile thereof. -DesFIP

(in reply to fatslag12)

Post #: 2

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 3:47:46 AM

fatslag12

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/23/2012
Status: offline

lol, thanks Envidius!

(in reply to Endivius)

Post #: 3

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 4:43:58 AM

amaidiamond

Posts: 1793
Joined: 2/6/2006
From: Watford / London
Status: offline

I didnt even manage to translate that mail enough to understand what they were looking for

_____________________________

Lead me not into temptation... I can find the way all by myself!

(in reply to fatslag12)

Post #: 4

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 5:08:33 AM

fatslag12

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/23/2012
Status: offline

she's trying to find a sub for her Dom/husband, due to her health preventing her from serving him...

(in reply to amaidiamond)

Post #: 5

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 5:13:33 AM

ChatteParfaitt

Posts: 6562
Joined: 3/22/2011
From: The t'aint of the Midwest -- Indiana
Status: offline

No, I would not reply to that message. Poor grammar, spelling and punctuation in an intro message are a turn off to me. And I agree with Endivius, it's not a terribly original message even all the errors were corrected.

BTW: The best way to find a third is real time. JMO

_____________________________

(in reply to fatslag12)

Post #: 6

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 5:14:18 AM

MissKittyDeVine

Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline

My response would be this. Why doesn´t he get up off his lazy Dom ass and do the searching? Or maybe even decide that kink is less important than being a good husband and looking after his sick wife?

_____________________________

Sanity is overrated. Live la vida loca

(in reply to fatslag12)

Post #: 7

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 5:32:37 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

My response would be to delete the message and go on with my life. The poor spelling, etc. is the first issue that would turn me off out of quite a few. It really does come off as just a guy looking for wank fodder, because if he's all that, getting invited to sessions and parties to demo, he doesn't need his poor ill sub to find play partners or subs for him to build relationships with.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)

Post #: 8

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 6:01:21 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I always get a bad feeling about this kind of situation. Aside from Envidius' hunch about the times it's a Dom posing as a femsub, I've noticed patterns with femsubs looking for a third shortly after the relationship started and femsubs that are oblivious to the fact that they will likely be phased out after the third joins in.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SassySarijane)

Post #: 9

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 6:29:05 AM

chatterbox24

Posts: 2182
Joined: 1/22/2012
Status: offline

My view on that is ...WHAT A SAD SELFISH WANKER THAT DOM IS.

I think Dark Stevens is right in what he said.

I see the scenerio in my head. Sick wife programmed thru time "If Im a good sub/slave I will do anything to make him happy" "Even sacrifice my own feelings and self" Thats what a good sub does.

BS BS BS. Charming word players and manipulators can make cutting your thumb off sound good, and make it sound like its for the betterment, you might even cut it off, and wake up later and think WTF WAS I THINKING!!!.

How can I fairly say that? Cause Ive been through that, not as the selfish dom but as the selfish sub.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 10

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 6:30:07 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

quote:

My response would be this. Why doesn´t he get up off his lazy Dom ass and do the searching? Or maybe even decide that kink is less important than being a good husband and looking after his sick wife?

Ditto.

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(in reply to MissKittyDeVine)

Post #: 11

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 7:30:17 AM

fatslag12

Posts: 5
Joined: 5/23/2012
Status: offline

wow, thanks everybody for your input so far :) pretty much along the lines of what i thought...

although, i myself have developed a habit of not using capitals unless i'm typing a name or title (when i'm not typing in a professional capacity), so i did make allowances on the typing and spelling (ohh it so used to annoy my last Dom when i corrected his spelling!). even with those allowances, i wasn't thrilled with the content of the message, but it specifically asked 'please reply good or bad'... so i did... and then it got ugly.

perhaps my response was a little short, that's often my way... but i thought it would end there. nu-uh, i got a rant back. i again responded, fairly calmly, refraining from unleashing the full fury of my not-suffering-fools-sarcasm, even ending the message with 'good luck'. and got another rant back.

i got mid-way down the second paragraph before my eyes swam and all i saw was blah blah, whine, moan, abuse. so my last response was a little less polite, and pretty much to the point. i stopped even bothering to try to address her points, asked her to quit filling up my inbox, reiterated that i am in no way interested in her husband, and told her i would not be so polite if she continued to message me.

of course, i logged in this morning to find another rant. i know the easiest thing to do now is simply block this woman and her husband (he actually looked at my profile three days after she started messaging me... she's never even viewed the full profile herself, so that explains why she's trying to get me to talk to her husband at all, given that my profile would suggest we're just not going to be compatible), but i thought it would be good to get a more balanced set of opinions on the matter, and see if perhaps i was just being overly harsh with her to begin.

so, thanks once again for all the input, really appreciated. another question which struck me was... how does this woman feel she is representing her Dom well? i know i'd be in the doghouse for at least a week if i spoke as she did to another. part of me thinks that maybe, although she states it was her idea for him to take another, that she really really doesn't want him to... but i'd be crediting her with the intelligence to be aware how offputting her approaches and responses are, and i'm not convinced of that

(in reply to kalikshama)

Post #: 12

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 7:51:26 AM

MissKittyDeVine

Posts: 1054
Joined: 9/24/2011
Status: offline

If that was the reaction, then I suspect that if you´d expressed any interest the next message would have asked you to do something on cam. To prove yourself genuine, of course.

Diagnosis? There is no sub wife. It´s a dude aiming for the sympathy vote by spinning a sob story.

_____________________________

Sanity is overrated. Live la vida loca

(in reply to fatslag12)

Post #: 13

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 7:57:06 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

fatslag12, you're assuming that she's legitimately looking. here are some possibilities:

1. Her Dom can't stand her, and set her the task of looking for another woman to get her out of his hair.
2. You're correct and she doesn't want to find another, so she's deliberately sabotaging.
3. She's unhappy with looking, and her unhappiness is subconsciously getting expressed.
4. She has a lot of anger to vent and knows better than to vent it at him.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to fatslag12)

Post #: 14

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 8:58:01 AM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I just delete. It's fake.
It's a guy.

The rant itself is almost always a man. I rarely ever see women who rant in that way from emails.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 6/18/2012 9:01:00 AM >

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 15

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 8:59:22 AM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

Regardless of grammar. The Dominant man is the person that holds the power in a male Dom/ fem sub relationship. I would have no interest in speaking to the submissive first. I've seen way too many submissives that are wearing rose colored glasses when it comes to their Dominant. I want to talk to the person that holds my life in his hands.

Hell, I was being recruited by a woman who went on an on about how wonderful he was. Then he put her in the hospital requiring 52 stitches in her vagina, then he was convicted as a serial rapist for raping 8 women in 6 months while out on parole. It was his third strike. If I had believed the submissive, I would have been one of those women.

< Message edited by OsideGirl -- 6/18/2012 9:00:13 AM >

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 16

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 9:56:10 AM

SassySarijane

Posts: 1558
Joined: 12/20/2007
From: KC Area Missouri
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fatslag12

wow, thanks everybody for your input so far :) pretty much along the lines of what i thought...

although, i myself have developed a habit of not using capitals unless i'm typing a name or title (when i'm not typing in a professional capacity), so i did make allowances on the typing and spelling (ohh it so used to annoy my last Dom when i corrected his spelling!). even with those allowances, i wasn't thrilled with the content of the message, but it specifically asked 'please reply good or bad'... so i did... and then it got ugly.

perhaps my response was a little short, that's often my way... but i thought it would end there. nu-uh, i got a rant back. i again responded, fairly calmly, refraining from unleashing the full fury of my not-suffering-fools-sarcasm, even ending the message with 'good luck'. and got another rant back.

i got mid-way down the second paragraph before my eyes swam and all i saw was blah blah, whine, moan, abuse. so my last response was a little less polite, and pretty much to the point. i stopped even bothering to try to address her points, asked her to quit filling up my inbox, reiterated that i am in no way interested in her husband, and told her i would not be so polite if she continued to message me.

of course, i logged in this morning to find another rant. i know the easiest thing to do now is simply block this woman and her husband (he actually looked at my profile three days after she started messaging me... she's never even viewed the full profile herself, so that explains why she's trying to get me to talk to her husband at all, given that my profile would suggest we're just not going to be compatible), but i thought it would be good to get a more balanced set of opinions on the matter, and see if perhaps i was just being overly harsh with her to begin.

so, thanks once again for all the input, really appreciated. another question which struck me was... how does this woman feel she is representing her Dom well? i know i'd be in the doghouse for at least a week if i spoke as she did to another. part of me thinks that maybe, although she states it was her idea for him to take another, that she really really doesn't want him to... but i'd be crediting her with the intelligence to be aware how offputting her approaches and responses are, and i'm not convinced of that

Definitely block, delete, ignore, report the messages if you can. Sounds like it was definitely a guy pretending from what you posted. Usually what it ends up being. I would not have bothered to respond in the first place and a second message would have gotten the profile blocked.

Edited for a missing comma.

< Message edited by SassySarijane -- 6/18/2012 9:57:09 AM >

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers
LPTnB

(in reply to fatslag12)

Post #: 17

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 10:41:57 AM

TNDommeK

Posts: 7153
Joined: 3/13/2010
Status: offline

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say I disagree. I am quite sure that if the girls happen to run into a profile on here that they feel would be a good match, they would write. IF it happens to go anywhere, Hubs would immediately get involved. Of course their grammar would be perfect, as they are grammar nazis too,lol. But to answer your question, nine times out of ten, it's bullshit. But there might be times that it is someone interesting and genuine. It's up to you to decide if you want to pursue.

_____________________________

Goddess of Duck Lips and Luxurious Hair
The working Fin Domme
Professional con artist, swindler, trixster, extortionist

Our snark-nado needs more cowbell

(in reply to SassySarijane)

Post #: 18

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 10:44:45 AM

JeffBC

Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline

For me... in my own personal way of evaluating things... it is the height of weakness to send one's sub out to find more subs.

_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to fatslag12)

Post #: 19

RE: subs recruiting for their Dom - 6/18/2012 12:57:30 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

although I'm not into girls, if Master ever decided he wanted another, he may tell me if I find one that I think may work then I should go ahead and contact them since I'm basically his secretary here. Otherwise I think he would be the one actively searching since what he is looking for would be for him and not me and what I would like.

_____________________________

Nothing has changed
Everything has changed

(in reply to JeffBC)

Post #: 20

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