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Feeling off....... - 6/7/2006 12:07:04 PM

SpankMuhButt

Posts: 1416
Joined: 1/4/2006
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Ok here is the situation, I have been seeing my Dom since Feb. and things are going very well.....Monday we had the day planned, but we were meeting somewhere different and I got stuck in traffic so by the time I got there i was already a bit shaken ( i dont travel well....i hate getting lost or going some place new) Anyway we played and it was incrediable....a tad different then normal. Then we cuddled for a bit but I left earlier then I may have if we had met in our normal place...I had to be home for my son and was really scared I'd hit traffic going home. Anyway later that day I called him and he didnt return my call (ok no biggie...we both have lives) later on I text him that i was sorry I had to leave earlier then normal and I hope he understood why, he responds with of course i understand....i text him back are you ok? he says yes thank you, why? i said ummm then why didnt you return my call....he says he didnt get it....ok again no biggie....my bitch side just said ummm ok....no response after that! Anyway all day yesterday I am remembering how awesome the play had been but yet mentally i felt off....further from him then i should have. So I didnt hear from him all day and i didnt try to call, but i sent him a message on here telling him how i felt, how play was awesome but why am i feeling so off, like something was wrong, that i did something that made him unhappy...blah blah...........after a few hours i unsent it. I havent been feeling well, maybe im just being emotional i felt if anything I can just tell him how i felt next time we are together........needless to say didnt know that if you unsend an email here the other person knows about it anyway lol. how stupid is that? So i get a call first thing this morning but i was busy so all day im saying damn it now im gonna have to tell him what was in the email even though i dont wanna do that on the phone. So i finally call him back and wait for the question, i so knew it was comming. Anyway I kinda beat around the bush and he asked me if the email was mushy or mean...told him alittle of both....(i dont do mushy well either lol) so he said why and as hes pulling teeth i finally tell him how i had that off feeling.....so after he just oks, me here and there, hears me out.......he tells me he cares about me and how much he likes me.........GRRRRRRRR i love and hate new relationships, theres always the butterfly feelings but your not at the love you stage so reading someone is so hard.........i actually dont know what the point of this post was other then getting it off my chest.....I honestly know he cares about me but yet why did i get such an off feeling about him not calling me? Do i sound certifiable?Jealous maybe...also not my style so not sure why it would be that) lol godd this accident and me being sore and drugged up is or is it PMS making me a crazy woman? ok so i rambled....if anyone has any insight or if you all just want to tell me im nuts i'm ready for it lol.

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If you had one shot, one opportunity, To seize everything you ever wanted, One moment, Would you capture it or just let it slip?

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RE: Feeling off....... - 6/7/2006 12:15:42 PM

mnottertail

Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
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The dirty little secret to life spanky:

is that with chemical highs come chemical lows....... One sets certain expectations and then when they do not materialize as you have played the loop in your mind.......well.........

So you are looking for the hosed down flush chemical and psyched for it.........pure estrogen, but you get fight or flight adrenalin from traffic shit..........introspection will take time as will the relationship.

You are ok, He is ok............relax, have him tie you up and whip your ass and let you mellow for a couple hours..........

You know what I am really saying, listen to yourself; but it is far to early to take yourself seriously.

Best wishes,
Ron

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Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30

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RE: Feeling off....... - 6/7/2006 12:19:29 PM

Moloch

Posts: 1090
Joined: 6/25/2005
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Have some cofee, cofee and sex will solve everything.

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RE: Feeling off....... - 6/7/2006 12:20:34 PM

pahunkboy

Posts: 33061
Joined: 2/26/2006
From: Central Pennsylvania
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OK. I have a female friend. When she is insecure....she gets persistant. pushy. she called her bf 22 times in one evening. helllllooo?

Save email to draft for 20 mins- 2 hours...before sending.

With some ppl- i wont use email for big stuff.

You are just nervous. relax. 6 billion on the planet.

do mind- a pestering mode. men will run, if the lady is percieved to be chasing him. You are interested- and accomadating, but not desparate.

*smiles* hugs you will be fine.

ps= traffic makes me nervous too

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RE: Feeling off....... - 6/7/2006 12:22:30 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
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You are indeed letting your insecurities get the better of you here. Trust me, I HATE driving and I understand how getting lost and needing to get somewhere frazzles a person.

But the rest? The issue over one missed phone call? An email that you send and then unsend? Needing to pull teeth?

Your feelings and reactions are all normal- but instead of letting them wind you up- LET IT GO.

Do you guys ever just go on normal dates? Do you ever just have dinner or go to a museum or watch a movie together? Is he married? Being in a stressful "We're only together for brief periods of time so we have to push ALL our energy and intensity into eachother in those periods and then we're alone again" situation would explain why you let those other "little" things wind you up so much.

Next time just try and keep perspective. You trust him? Then trust him. You worry? Then laugh at yourself, let him know your worry and then move on. Take breaths. Getting cranky is fine, as long as you STOP being cranky before doing damage and laugh at yourself over it.

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RE: Feeling off....... - 6/7/2006 12:28:47 PM

windy135

Posts: 437
Joined: 10/17/2005
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I know how you feel. I have learned to just hold it in and let it pass, not because I felt like it was nothing but sometimes I might bring something up that he had no idea was even there. And then after I came down from my hormone rollercoster I would be embarrassed at how crazy I seemed.. lol

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RE: Feeling off....... - 6/7/2006 12:34:23 PM

givemyall

Posts: 620
Joined: 12/3/2005
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You sound so much like me - I get the same feelings - 'oh my god, what have I dont wrong, why hasn't he called me?'......... normally I haven't done anything, but by the time I have finished having my psychotic episode and sent millions of texts, I have completely scared off my partner, and then I spend the rest of my time wishing that I hadn't sent that email/text/made the phone call.

I have learnt alot recently and my latest man is getting a different attitude altogether...... Im looking on him in a very conceited manner and its working - this time my approach is 'you are lucky to have me for the time that you get me' ........ ohhhh and is it working! Im finding it hard to behave like that, but im getting alot more attention than I normally would!

I wish you luck and before you send the next text/email to him, why dont you do something like sit infront of the mirror, do you hair/make up/take time out and realise that you are too beautiful to be chasing someone - you never know, by the time you have finished pampering yourself, he may have called you!

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RE: Feeling off....... - 6/7/2006 1:48:21 PM

SpankMuhButt

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Thank you everyone......I know damn well I'm just emotional today.......cause for one I don't chase anyone and I think the fact that it even slightly bothered me bugged me out...I know he cares about me and yes I trust him, he trusts me, I have alot of insecurity issues but none with him....i honestly think a big part thats scaring me is I like him......he likes me......I usually get bored by now and I'm not getting that with him......yes I fear commitment to some extent but thats not the issue here, i just the toll of having not seen him since the accident, still being so damn sore, I cry at the drop of a hat the past few days...and just hearing him tease me after about how awwwww she likes me, just made me laugh at myself for being such a dork....I dont take much seriously so when im cranky and emotional I usually avoid contact with those I care about lol. Like he asked me if i was ok now and i said yep I was after I unsent the email....i know we all have lives, damn i have 2 boys who my life revolves around. I got annoyed but then got more annoyed at me for being annoyed. Damn hormonal shit can make ya nuts...everyone thank you all for listening to me rant about.......hmmm how nuts i am this week lol
xoxoxo

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If you had one shot, one opportunity, To seize everything you ever wanted, One moment, Would you capture it or just let it slip?

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