RE: Kink With Respect

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JstAnotherSub -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 9:47:15 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover Respect for the aspects of BDSM for those who did not even care to read the context I will put in here quote: There are 3 parts to BDSM and for those of you who do not know what they are I will explain. First is the “B/d” aspect, literally meaning Bondage and discipline. They may or may not go together, depending on whom you talk to. However, I think all can agree they constitute the first part. The Second part is “D/s”, which many just do not seem to see. This aspect means Domination and submission. It also encompasses the Master/slave relationship as well. It may, or may not, include other aspects of BDSM. However, if you are into this part, you are into part of what BDSM stands for. Finally, and importantly, is the S/m part, standing for Sadomasochism. This behavior encompasses a wide range of the lifestyle, but does not necessarily include the first 2 parts. for those who cant help but attacking for no obvious reason relevant to the post go on ... have fun ... enjoy [sm=line.gif] Now is when we could Use LuckyAlbatross, to pull up all the threads debating what bdsm stands for. I see no attacks, just folks stating their take on the topic you posted. I honestly do not know what you even think the topic is, unless it is "tell me I am right or go away". Hopefully you will get someone here telling you what you want to hear.

chatterbox24 -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 10:04:52 AM)
Okay Ill bite. I dont see the thread as condoning murder, incest, nonconsenual rape, etc etc. That topic is on Killerpsycho.com. IM onboard. Respect others opinions and kinks (within reason) Ill agree with that, although I dont always play nice. :)

SassySarijane -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 10:39:28 AM)
There are some kinks, actually perversions that some claim to be kinks, that I absolutely do not respect or think well of those who practice them. Why should I? I can deal just fine with those who have kinks I don't like or find yucky, but when something heinous is claimed as a kink? Um no, just no, never, uh uh, ain't happening. What I'm talking about are those that are not between consenting adults, but claimed as kinks. Those aren't kinks. My respect for others is earned, not given. I don't respect kinks, I accept that others have different kinks and if it floats your boat, great. Just because I'm into bdsm doesn't mean I have to automatically accept or respect anyone or anything else connected to that. I don't expect to be accepted or respected just because I'm into it either. There is no all inclusive tolerance for anyone or anything labeled kink or bdsm by someone, nor should there be since not all of it is kink or bdsm. Trying to label it as such doesn't make it such.

BitaTruble -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 11:03:00 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover My kink is better than your kink? Never! It is just our way of doing things. What we all need to remember is my kink and your kink is, in the end,OUR kink, and we really need to learn to stand together and respect one another for our individuality as well as our collective identity. If we in this lifestyle cannot learn from each other and stand side-by-side in the defense of our rights to practice what we so dearly love how can we expect others to look at us any differently when we cannot even do that with each other? Remember United we stand, Divided we fall. miria hunter for all CM members ... I respect you all I'd rather have your authentic hate than unearned respect. Hate, at least, I will have earned. The blog is rather dehumanizing in my opinion and very shallow. It takes the smallest piece of me and assigns an intrinsic value totally disregarding any other qualities that I may have.. whether those qualities are noble in nature or vile in action .. and tosses them aside for the sake of standing side by side in unity. Not in this world. Some of us stand, some of us kneel and many do both. Standing side by side, elbow to elbow as it were, makes it quite difficult to swing the flogger with accurancy and when it comes to kink, I want to be on Top or on bottom, in front or in back.. not side by side. We have places such as CM for chit chat, education, sharing.. the occasional joyful trainwreck, but if someone is coming here seeking to gain unearned respect, for the most part, it's just not going to happen. Courtsey, I believe is owed as a first course of action. Clarity, I believe is generally warranted when there is honest miscommunication and, ideally, will be offered. Expectations beyond those two things can diminish the quality of the time which one chooses to spend in these forums or in other venues. Generally, the boards (and your world) will be exactly as you want them to be. You have that power.. we all do. If you wield it and use it wisely your experience here can be enriched. Your experience can also feel like a train wreck so I guess how you lay the track is going to determine how bumpy or smooth your ride is here and in life.

OsideGirl -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 11:10:02 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover quote: There are 3 parts to BDSM and for those of you who do not know what they are I will explain. First is the “B/d” aspect, literally meaning Bondage and discipline. They may or may not go together, depending on whom you talk to. However, I think all can agree they constitute the first part. The Second part is “D/s”, which many just do not seem to see. This aspect means Domination and submission. It also encompasses the Master/slave relationship as well. It may, or may not, include other aspects of BDSM. However, if you are into this part, you are into part of what BDSM stands for. Finally, and importantly, is the S/m part, standing for Sadomasochism. This behavior encompasses a wide range of the lifestyle, but does not necessarily include the first 2 parts. for those who cant help but attacking for no obvious reason relevant to the post go on ... have fun ... enjoy [sm=line.gif] Actually, the original acronym is Bondage, Discipline, Sado-Masochism. The D/s portion is a bastardization of the acronym by people on the internet. You can actually engage in BDSM without engaging in D/s at all. You can engage in D/s without engaging in BDSM at all.

GreedyTop -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 11:35:57 AM)
"Courtsey, I believe is owed as a first course of action. Clarity, I believe is generally warranted when there is honest miscommunication and, ideally, will be offered. Expectations beyond those two things can diminish the quality of the time which one chooses to spend in these forums or in other venues. Generally, the boards (and your world) will be exactly as you want them to be. You have that power.. we all do. If you wield it and use it wisely your experience here can be enriched. Your experience can also feel like a train wreck so I guess how you lay the track is going to determine how bumpy or smooth your ride is here and in life. " This. And what Oside said.

MistressDarkArt -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 12:04:28 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover how can we expect others to look at us any differently I don't need to be viewed differently, thank you. Folks can decide to take me or leave me on their own.

TNDommeK -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 12:14:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BitaTruble quote: ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover My kink is better than your kink? Never! It is just our way of doing things. What we all need to remember is my kink and your kink is, in the end,OUR kink, and we really need to learn to stand together and respect one another for our individuality as well as our collective identity. If we in this lifestyle cannot learn from each other and stand side-by-side in the defense of our rights to practice what we so dearly love how can we expect others to look at us any differently when we cannot even do that with each other? Remember United we stand, Divided we fall. miria hunter for all CM members ... I respect you all I'd rather have your authentic hate than unearned respect. Hate, at least, I will have earned. The blog is rather dehumanizing in my opinion and very shallow. It takes the smallest piece of me and assigns an intrinsic value totally disregarding any other qualities that I may have.. whether those qualities are noble in nature or vile in action .. and tosses them aside for the sake of standing side by side in unity. Not in this world. Some of us stand, some of us kneel and many do both. Standing side by side, elbow to elbow as it were, makes it quite difficult to swing the flogger with accurancy and when it comes to kink, I want to be on Top or on bottom, in front or in back.. not side by side. We have places such as CM for chit chat, education, sharing.. the occasional joyful trainwreck, but if someone is coming here seeking to gain unearned respect, for the most part, it's just not going to happen. Courtsey, I believe is owed as a first course of action. Clarity, I believe is generally warranted when there is honest miscommunication and, ideally, will be offered. Expectations beyond those two things can diminish the quality of the time which one chooses to spend in these forums or in other venues. Generally, the boards (and your world) will be exactly as you want them to be. You have that power.. we all do. If you wield it and use it wisely your experience here can be enriched. Your experience can also feel like a train wreck so I guess how you lay the track is going to determine how bumpy or smooth your ride is here and in life. I love you.

DeviantlyD -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 12:21:36 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover [sm=offtopic.gif] quote: ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover http://www.withinreality.com/miria3.html Thats why I put this link so people would keep it relevant we have gone so far off topic in here ! I'm sorry but I'm laughing here. When I read those two posts in tandem, the image in my head was of a small child having a temper tantrum. I know that sounds insulting to the OP, and truly, I don't mean to do so, but I couldn't help have that image! I don't believe this thread has gotten off topic it all, as everyone has expressed how they view the idea of respect in kink. Obviously for a lot of people, respect has some very distinct meanings and it is not a word they use casually. If you consider all that people define as kink, it is impossible to have all of it be acceptable, particularly when the fringes of it involve behaviour that is ethically wrong by society's standards. One that comes to mind, though certainly not the only one, is bestiality. Do you respect that kink?

FemalecumLover -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 12:42:05 PM)
This is starting to be Amusing Go on [sm=line.gif][sm=line.gif][sm=line.gif][sm=line.gif]

tameeks -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 1:03:31 PM)
What, I say again, what is it with people asking question here and getting mad when they don't get the answers they seek? No one was disrespectful, no one is posting off topic, they just don't agree with what you are saying. It's really simple.

poise -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 1:36:17 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DeviantlyD quote: ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover [sm=offtopic.gif] I don't believe this thread has gotten off topic it all A really good example of going off topic would be me saying a big H E L L O to DeviantlyD, and telling her how happy I am to see her posting more lately. But, being the well behaved forum poster that I am, I won't do that. [:)]

myotherself -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 2:01:35 PM)
I'm going to look at the respect thing from 2 angles. Firstly, the people. I have pulled away from my local scene over the last year because I cannot respect many of the people in there. It's nothing to do with their kinks, it's because in my opinion they are dicks. Secondly, the kinks. The bit where she lumps all kinks in together as 'our kink' is just so much bull-cacky. My kinks are my kinks. Your kinks are your kinks. If you are into being barfed on while having a pineapple shoved roughly up your unlubed ass, trust me I ain't gonna respect that. But having said that, I will tolerate it. As long as it's legal and you don't shove it in my face (or offer me pineapple slices...ewww!) you can do what the hell you like. I can't guarantee to like it, understand it or respect it, but I will give you tolerance.

littlewonder -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 2:08:49 PM)
so op, since you seem to think we're off topic and since it IS your thread, want to explain to all us what exactly going on about if we supposedly don't understand? We can't get back "on topic" if you feel we're "off topic" unless you tell us.

Karmastic -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 2:16:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: chatterbox24 Okay Ill bite. I dont see the thread as condoning murder, incest, nonconsenual rape, etc etc. That topic is on Killerpsycho.com. IM onboard. Respect others opinions and kinks (within reason) the above comes closest to what i would say. i think a lot of people assumed OP was condoning things he wasn't condoning. of course, everything is within reason. i took her post as a call for tolerance, for WIITWD. i don't understand why people seemed to read into that. perhaps because English is a second language for OP, and she's eager to contribute and puts herself out there, people misunderstand her. i.e., if she put it in terms this board uses (memes?), the same message would get quite a different reaction. I agree with the general sentiment, that respect is earned. More than that, for me, a person's character is the kind of respect that's important, not some ego driven respect for being an anointed BDSM expert, or x years of certified BDSM accredited experience. this elitist attitude is what seems to drive the whole ugly "real & fake" thing, and it's beyond me why people don't see that. If everyone stopped worrying about how real or fake everyone else was, or how much or little "experience" others have, and just respected each other, the world would be a better place. /rodney king can't we all just get along edit: OP, i'm very sorry i goofed, edited to change he to she.

littlewonder -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 2:19:12 PM)
Sorry, I don't have tolerance for all bdsm. There may be things that others may want to see at a bdsm club or have tolerance for and will put up with it while I don't and I will walk into another room or outside or leave. Same as with anything in any part of my life. There are people I can't tolerate at my church and I do my best to avoid them. I don't hate them but they grate my nerves. One grates me just with his voice. It's like chalk on a chalkboard. lol

Karmastic -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 2:25:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder Sorry, I don't have tolerance for all bdsm. There may be things that others may want to see at a bdsm club or have tolerance for and will put up with it while I don't and I will walk into another room or outside or leave. Same as with anything in any part of my life. There are people I can't tolerate at my church and I do my best to avoid them. I don't hate them but they grate my nerves. One grates me just with his voice. It's like chalk on a chalkboard. lol i happen to agree with you. there's plenty of BDSM things that i think are unhealthy, and can never be in the long term interest of those doing it. in fact, i think some of it is rather gross. and i don't condone unlawful acts - no one has in this thread so far, so that's a red herring. but i abhor fascism, and will not speak out against others doing WIITWD, or try to judge what i think might be self destructive.

littlewonder -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 2:48:21 PM)
I never said you had to speak out about it but if I find something I can't tolerate then I remove myself from that situation. But I'm not gonna sit around and say "I shouldn't judge what they're doing because it is wiitwd". [8\|]

Karmastic -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 2:56:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: littlewonder I never said you had to speak out about it but if I find something I can't tolerate then I remove myself from that situation. But I'm not gonna sit around and say "I shouldn't judge what they're doing because it is wiitwd". [8\|] i thought about editing my reply to make my agreement to what you just elaborated on more clear, so i'm sorry i didn't. yes, or course, i don't want to watch certain things either, and will not. i didn't understand your comment, in replying to my comments on respect, and elitism... "Sorry, I don't have tolerance for all bdsm." because i don't think i had written anything before that, which disagreed with what you subsequently said. respect is a different concept than tolerance. i.e., i can still respect someone's right to do something, even though it's a squick for me, and i don't want to see it. heck, there's plenty of quite normal things that i just don't want to see other people doing, even though i do them myself.

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 2:58:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: myotherself I can't guarantee to like it, understand it or respect it, but I will give you tolerance. I won't; I'm a judgemental little fucker, me. [8D][8D][8D][8D] I have difficulty understanding why the fact that someone likes to engage in something outside of the sexual norm means that they deserve my respect. It doesn't make them Mother blinking Teresa, and it doesn't mean I want to stand united with them. Seriously, if they haven't been to a GUM clinic recently I've got no idea what I might catch if I was shoulder to shoulder with them. Basic human courtesy? Sure. Respect? Nah.

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