RE: Kink With Respect (Full Version)

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littlewonder -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 3:01:31 PM)

quote:

If everyone stopped worrying about how real or fake everyone else was, or how much or little "experience" others have, and just respected each other, the world would be a better place. /rodney king can't we all just get along


Well you changed your post so it doesn't say tolerant anymore but I still disagree with that statement as well.

I don't just respect each other. I don't have any desire to respect everyone. Respect would mean there's something about them that I find awesome and inspiring. I respect very few people. It's not something that comes lightly for me.



JeffBC -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 3:02:08 PM)

OP, I was looking for a question in your post... something to respond to. I came up with this.

If we in this lifestyle cannot learn from each other and stand side-by-side in the defense of our rights to practice what we so dearly love how can we expect others to look at us any differently when we cannot even do that with each other?

I guess I'm unclear on why I need to be in the lifestyle or "stand side-by-side" with those who are in order to defend their right to have sex however they want to. Even back when I was vanilla i thought policing people's bedrooms was a spectacularly poor idea. In fact, Carol and I don't get up to the bedroom kink stuff still... yet I'm perfectly content with standing for people's rights in that area.

Out of curiosity though, what "difference" are you hoping for in how people look at "us". Do you think society, as a whole, looks on BDSM folk incorrectly somehow? Do you think that if we all stood together in some sort of solidarity that that would change? What is it, exactly, that you are looking for or preaching other than tolerance?



Karmastic -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 3:11:25 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

quote:

If everyone stopped worrying about how real or fake everyone else was, or how much or little "experience" others have, and just respected each other, the world would be a better place. /rodney king can't we all just get along


Well you changed your post so it doesn't say tolerant anymore but I still disagree with that statement as well.

I don't just respect each other. I don't have any desire to respect everyone. Respect would mean there's something about them that I find awesome and inspiring. I respect very few people. It's not something that comes lightly for me.


i think the word change was inconsequential, but i'm sure you disagree.

you're raising a really good point about words. you're using the word "respect" in a different context than i am.

you seem to be wrapped up in respect, as in self-respect, and respecting other's accomplishments - as-in something to be admired and respected. BDSM in this case.

so far i think, when i've used the word "respect", it's as-in i try to respect people and treat them respectfully, even if i disagree with them, or they have some kink that's squicky for me. i.e., i respect their right to their kink. and, i treat them with the same respect (i hope) they show me.

that's what i've been saying all along. so if you agree with that, then since i don't disagree with anything else you said, then this was you not understanding me, and replying as-if you thought you disagreed with something i said. this is getting too confusing.



Whenready -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 3:25:42 PM)

My kink is better than your kink?
Yes, it is. If your kink was "better" than my kink, I'd be doing yours.....

Never! It is just our way of doing things.
There is no "us". I do things others here find reprehensible, and vice versa. Your way may or may not be my way, but it's not "our" way.

What we all need to remember is my kink and your kink is, in the end,OUR kink,
Nope, as above.

and we really need to learn to stand together
a) why? b) no we don't any more than baseball players need to unite against golfers.

and respect one another for our individuality as well as our collective identity.
I'll respect those I feel worthy of respect. There's a big overarching umbrella, but the collective is a sci fi idea.

If we in this lifestyle cannot learn from each other
ok this one I can go for. There's always something new to learn.

and stand side-by-side in the defense of our rights to practice what we so dearly love
I wont defend some of the indefensibles mentioned by other posters, nor would I expect them to defend some of mine simply because of an umbrella tag of bdsm

how can we expect others to look at us any differently
when we cannot even do that with each other?
Who cares?

Remember United we stand, Divided we fall.
Tim-berrrrrrrrr.... oh - if a masochistic tree falls in the forest, do the sadistic trees kick it while its down?
miria hunter

for all CM members ... I respect you all
I respect some here, and not others. Good luck.

With respect, I read the article. My whelm was undered.



Delilya -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 3:50:21 PM)

Just a FYI for those who didn't know. OP is a he. The screen name and signature are a bit misleading in that respect.

http://www.collarchat.com/m_4134775/tm.htm



OsideGirl -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 4:03:26 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
and i don't condone unlawful acts - no one has in this thread so far, so that's a red herring.


While it might not be happening in this thread, I'd lay money on the fact that just about every female submissive on this thread has been approached about doing something unlawful. Bestiality, prostitution, date rape drugs, public nudity and teenage daughters.

So, no, it's not a red herring.



Byste -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 4:34:35 PM)

Thank you for defining my kink for me, telling me how to think about it and who I should respect. I wouldn't have known otherwise. Srsly

Byste



Karmastic -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 4:39:36 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
and i don't condone unlawful acts - no one has in this thread so far, so that's a red herring.


While it might not be happening in this thread, I'd lay money on the fact that just about every female submissive on this thread has been approached about doing something unlawful. Bestiality, prostitution, date rape drugs, public nudity and teenage daughters.

So, no, it's not a red herring.


mmm, good point. as always, i believe you (bolded).

and i agree, it wasn't happening in this thread, which relates to my point. it's a red herring because the OP didn't support that, yet people gave him the lecture on it. or at the very least, took what he said (tolerance, or respect of WIITWD, and not turning on ourselves) and turned it into a primer of what is not acceptable. that's fine with me, just making my usual observations.



OsideGirl -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 5:27:50 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic
and i don't condone unlawful acts - no one has in this thread so far, so that's a red herring.


While it might not be happening in this thread, I'd lay money on the fact that just about every female submissive on this thread has been approached about doing something unlawful. Bestiality, prostitution, date rape drugs, public nudity and teenage daughters.

So, no, it's not a red herring.


mmm, good point. as always, i believe you (bolded).

and i agree, it wasn't happening in this thread, which relates to my point. it's a red herring because the OP didn't support that, yet people gave him the lecture on it. or at the very least, took what he said (tolerance, or respect of WIITWD, and not turning on ourselves) and turned it into a primer of what is not acceptable. that's fine with me, just making my usual observations.



The actual sentiment is just because it's labeled "kink" doesn't mean it's deserving of respect. ie: The items above. Lots of people list those things as their kink.

Hell, look at the woman that posted here that her Dom has a breeding fetish. She got pregnant with no intention of keeping the baby and if his brother hadn't been willing to adopt the baby she would have aborted it. I don't view that as being worthy of respect.



Karmastic -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 5:42:06 PM)

quote:

The actual sentiment is just because it's labeled "kink" doesn't mean it's deserving of respect. ie: The items above. Lots of people list those things as their kink.


agree. that list goes well beyond kink or BDSM, and deserves no 'respect'.

and again, i don't think anyone, including OP, assumed that the respect OP spoke of would include that. i.e., it's a red herring, because no one has argued that list should be respected.

i simply assumed OP wouldn't include that, and didn't feel the need to give lectures on what things should NOT be 'respected'.

i truly must be weird if it's so hard to understand my observation, that people seemed to have honed in on all the bad things that don't deserve 'respect', rather than take the spirit of the thread to mean we should respect other peoples kinks. implicit in that is that it's within reason and not unlawful, as Chatterbox24 alluded to.



OsideGirl -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 5:48:13 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

quote:

The actual sentiment is just because it's labeled "kink" doesn't mean it's deserving of respect. ie: The items above. Lots of people list those things as their kink.


agree. that list goes well beyond kink or BDSM, and deserves no 'respect'.

and again, i don't think anyone, including OP, assumed that the respect OP spoke of would include that. i.e., it's a red herring, because no one has argued that list should be respected.

i simply assumed OP wouldn't include that, and didn't feel the need to give lectures on what things should NOT be 'respected'.

i truly must be weird if it's so hard to understand my observation, that people seemed to have honed in on all the bad things that don't deserve 'respect', rather than take the spirit of the thread to mean we should respect other peoples kinds. implicit in that is that it's within reason, as Chatterbox24 mentioned.



The OP gave broad sweeping generalization. He didn't bother to differentiate, so the oness is on him. The link he's using as a reference actually holds one of those items in my list. So, how can you assume what he meant?

I've bolded a key statement here. Within reason of whom? Because the people that practice what is in that list I made, think it's entirely reasonable. Maybe the OP thinks one of those items is an entirely reasonable kink.

The link he provided has another essay that speaks of public nudity:
quote:

He told me to turn around. My breasts were hanging out. I was growing very warm. I heard a car approaching as I stood there... shifting from foot to foot. He told me to put my outer top on but leave my tank top as is and to get in the car. I put the shirt on just as a car pulled in the lot. I felt the heat in my face move down my body. I looked down and walked to the other side of the car and got in. I wanted to run, but did not want to draw more attention to myself than I felt there already was.


What if there had children in that approaching car? Keeping in mind that public nudity in front of a child in the state of CA would be a felony and get you on the sex offenders list.



Lockit -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 5:48:51 PM)

I believe those that expect, demand and talk about respect with strangers, are the people I would least likely respect. So I go to the link... I read a few things, different pages and think... now I get it. I get why she speaks as if we all should defend one another, stand together in respect and not bash anyone for their kink.

Had I found her with boobs hanging out in a parking lot with her dominant ordering her how to do things... in public/public play... with my grand children... I'd be more likely to report her ass than support her ass once she was arrested for indecent exposure in a public setting where children might see them. Did they know who was in the car, that approached? Just put your outside shirt on but leave your boobs hanging out... nice touch for not knowing who was in that car! Risky because anyone could have been in there, including under cover police. I think them fools.

Do I have a problem with nudity? No. Do I have a problem with public nudity? Depends on where it is and who might be forced to see it and the laws of the land.

So... I am supposed to respect, stand up for and united with these imbeciles? I think not. Nor do I need or want their respect and support.

We are not fighting the world to be able to do what we do. When a dungeon is being harassed or shut down... I may lend a letter, support or something that might help them, but individuals? No fucking way do I lend my name... my anything unless I believe in them and agree with them. That isn't based on kink. That is based on who they are, who they present and what the situation is and what I know of them.

I don't feel I need support, respect or anything else, from strangers. I don't care what they have in common with me or whether we live exact replicas of one anthers lives. No respect for anyone is expected, provided or asked for. We may have something in common... but that doesn't mean I will like them and I don't often respect someone I don't like because there tend to be reasons I don't like them that would prevent respect.



JstAnotherSub -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 5:53:35 PM)

Well, I reckon I gotta start respecting all fat chicks, cafeteria managers, Ford truck drivers, dog owners, folks from Georgia, blues lovers and sarcastic bitches, since they are all just like me.

I do not see this ending well at all!



Karmastic -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 6:01:23 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

quote:

The actual sentiment is just because it's labeled "kink" doesn't mean it's deserving of respect. ie: The items above. Lots of people list those things as their kink.


agree. that list goes well beyond kink or BDSM, and deserves no 'respect'.

and again, i don't think anyone, including OP, assumed that the respect OP spoke of would include that. i.e., it's a red herring, because no one has argued that list should be respected.

i simply assumed OP wouldn't include that, and didn't feel the need to give lectures on what things should NOT be 'respected'.

i truly must be weird if it's so hard to understand my observation, that people seemed to have honed in on all the bad things that don't deserve 'respect', rather than take the spirit of the thread to mean we should respect other peoples kinds. implicit in that is that it's within reason, as Chatterbox24 mentioned.



The OP gave broad sweeping generalization. He didn't bother to differentiate, so the oness is on him. I've bolded a key statement here. Within reason of whom? Because the people that practice what is in that list I made, think it's entirely reasonable. Maybe the OP thinks one of those items is an entirely reasonable kink.


lol, upon reading your first sentence, i was all worried that i missed some list OP gave that included bad stuff :) like, oh shit, what did i miss. seems like i didn't miss anything.

re what i bolded red...yes, perhaps, but more likely, not. i didn't see any indication of that in their post, or have any past experience to indicate OP was extreme, to assume negative rather than positive. that's my opinion, of course.

but again, if that's what i thought he meant, i definitely would have asked OP, and enjoyed laying into him for it, if true.

and again, just to be clear, it's not a hard stretch to imagine people justifying their unlawful behavior as kink. that doesn't deserve 'respect'. and i consider you very knowledgeable about all this, so i typically believe what you say as fact. but not when it's simply your assumption of what you think OP meant, without asking.



OsideGirl -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 6:04:31 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic


quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl


quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

quote:

The actual sentiment is just because it's labeled "kink" doesn't mean it's deserving of respect. ie: The items above. Lots of people list those things as their kink.


agree. that list goes well beyond kink or BDSM, and deserves no 'respect'.

and again, i don't think anyone, including OP, assumed that the respect OP spoke of would include that. i.e., it's a red herring, because no one has argued that list should be respected.

i simply assumed OP wouldn't include that, and didn't feel the need to give lectures on what things should NOT be 'respected'.

i truly must be weird if it's so hard to understand my observation, that people seemed to have honed in on all the bad things that don't deserve 'respect', rather than take the spirit of the thread to mean we should respect other peoples kinds. implicit in that is that it's within reason, as Chatterbox24 mentioned.



The OP gave broad sweeping generalization. He didn't bother to differentiate, so the oness is on him. I've bolded a key statement here. Within reason of whom? Because the people that practice what is in that list I made, think it's entirely reasonable. Maybe the OP thinks one of those items is an entirely reasonable kink.


lol, upon reading your first sentence, i was all worried that i missed some list OP gave that included bad stuff :) like, oh shit, what did i miss. seems like i didn't miss anything.

re what i bolded red...yes, perhaps, but more likely, not. i didn't see any indication of that in their post, or have any past experience to indicate OP was extreme, to assume negative rather than positive. that's my opinion, of course.

but again, if that's what i thought he meant, i definitely would have asked OP, and enjoyed laying into him for it, if true.

and again, just to be clear, it's not a hard stretch to imagine people justifying their unlawful behavior as kink. that doesn't deserve 'respect'. and i consider you very knowledgeable about all this, so i typically believe what you say as fact. but not when it's simply your assumption of what you think OP meant, without asking.



The link he provided to support his position has an essay portraying public nudity.



Karmastic -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 6:08:20 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

I believe those that expect, demand and talk about respect with strangers, are the people I would least likely respect. So I go to the link... I read a few things, different pages and think... now I get it. I get why she speaks as if we all should defend one another, stand together in respect and not bash anyone for their kink.

Had I found her with boobs hanging out in a parking lot with her dominant ordering her how to do things... in public/public play... with my grand children... I'd be more likely to report her ass than support her ass once she was arrested for indecent exposure in a public setting where children might see them. Did they know who was in the car, that approached? Just put your outside shirt on but leave your boobs hanging out... nice touch for not knowing who was in that car! Risky because anyone could have been in there, including under cover police. I think them fools.

Do I have a problem with nudity? No. Do I have a problem with public nudity? Depends on where it is and who might be forced to see it and the laws of the land.

So... I am supposed to respect, stand up for and united with these imbeciles? I think not. Nor do I need or want their respect and support.

We are not fighting the world to be able to do what we do. When a dungeon is being harassed or shut down... I may lend a letter, support or something that might help them, but individuals? No fucking way do I lend my name... my anything unless I believe in them and agree with them. That isn't based on kink. That is based on who they are, who they present and what the situation is and what I know of them.

I don't feel I need support, respect or anything else, from strangers. I don't care what they have in common with me or whether we live exact replicas of one anthers lives. No respect for anyone is expected, provided or asked for. We may have something in common... but that doesn't mean I will like them and I don't often respect someone I don't like because there tend to be reasons I don't like them that would prevent respect.


did i miss something? a link somewhere that explains what i bolded?



Lockit -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 6:13:32 PM)

You need a link for my opinion and what I do in certain situations? lol



Karmastic -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 6:18:22 PM)

quote:

The link he provided to support his position has an essay portraying public nudity.


either i'm being very blind, or OP changed or removed some prior link?

the only one i could find is this...

quote:

ORIGINAL: FemalecumLover

Read more about miria ... http://www.withinreality.com/miria3.html


it doesn't say anything about public nudity, or even humiliation. from what i scanned, it's quite beautiful and speaks to exactly the things i've spoken of - tolerance of WIITWD.



Karmastic -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 6:21:14 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: Lockit

You need a link for my opinion and what I do in certain situations? lol

lol, no silly pants [sm=alien.gif]

when you say "So I go to the link..." and then go off on some story with no reference, it doesn't make any sense.



Lockit -> RE: Kink With Respect (6/20/2012 6:25:57 PM)

K, if you go to the link you quoted... read some of the other pages, you will see it. It is on two pages. Here is the full story: http://www.withinreality.com/roleplay.html



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