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Virginal Girlfriend - 6/20/2012 12:02:22 PM

TanukiChan

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I'm hoping that after we break the sex barrier, we can see if she's into s&m. It's something we've both talked about, but have not yet acted upon.

Comments? Suggestions? Personal stories?

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/20/2012 12:15:55 PM

AVegasMaster

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Start Slow, ease into it. Explore and grow together.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/20/2012 2:13:58 PM

littlewonder

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So she's a virgin and you wanna wait until you actually have sex so you can spank her or whatever and she's never experienced any of it? I guess if she wants it too, I suggest you both have a VERY long talk and learn what it is you both are looking for. Could be you two are talking two completely things. Don't be vague. And being she's never had sex before, imo, she's got a loong way to go about even having sex, let alone have kinky sex.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/20/2012 2:30:19 PM

Karmastic

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not much info to go on. my generic reply is that it's better to find someone who knows they're into that, rather than trying to drag someone in. eh, virgins? unless they already know they like that, or have some idea, that's problematic. baby steps first.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/20/2012 3:48:30 PM

RaspberryLemon

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My best advice for you is to take it slow and respect her boundaries. She has never done this before and is probably nervous and needs to get comfortable with it at her own pace. On top of that it's not just sex, it's fetish sex. So be extra careful.

That being said, I was a virgin when my Master and I got together. He was patient with me (although frustrated at times, he respected me and my comfort zone) and we worked through the paces gradually. D/s undertones were there throughout all of it, and that was previously not something I had even thought about, but it just felt pretty natural to me and I liked it. We mutually discovered it together in our journey with each other. He was not new to sex like I was, but he had only had minimal experience with sex involving BDSM.

Since you already have a very good idea that you want and enjoy S&M activities, your interactions with her are probably going to go a little differently. I wouldn't push it on her, but talking about what she thinks she'd like to experiment and suggesting things that you like is a good idea. If she's open to it, that's good and you can start experimenting lightly (within her comfort zone, of course.)

However, if she is not open to the idea, I wouldn't advise continuing a sexual relationship with her unless you are sure you would be ok with only "vanilla" sex with her. And definitely, if you are not ok with only "vanilla" sex, don't think that you can convince her later to try it if she isn't open to it now--you may or may not be able to convince her, but it isn't fair to her to lead her on and take her virginity knowing full well that your relationship will only work if she gets into S&M later.

A virgin is not exactly the best candidate for assured kinky sex, so if that's mainly what you're after, then I'd move on. If you really care about the girl and want a relationship with her though, regardless of whether or not you end up having said kinky sex, then proceed.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/20/2012 3:50:36 PM

Aileen1968

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Fuck her. Spank her. You only live once and breaking a cherry ain't all that special.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/20/2012 3:52:02 PM

LadyHibiscus

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O Aileen. Are you my east coast sister?

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/20/2012 3:53:31 PM

JeffBC

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quote:

ORIGINAL: AVegasMaster
Start Slow, ease into it. Explore and grow together.

short, sweet, to-the-point, and spot on.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/20/2012 3:56:09 PM

Aileen1968

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

O Aileen. Are you my east coast sister?

I believe I may just be.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/20/2012 4:42:12 PM

Karmastic

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Fuck her. Spank her. You only live once and breaking a cherry ain't all that special.

had to LMAO!

i've never broken a cherry. i heard it can get messy.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/21/2012 4:15:21 AM

crazyml

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Fuck her. Spank her. You only live once and breaking a cherry ain't all that special.

<fans face>

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/21/2012 9:20:18 PM

Hillwilliam

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Karmastic

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

Fuck her. Spank her. You only live once and breaking a cherry ain't all that special.

had to LMAO!

i've never broken a cherry. i heard it can get messy.

Much less messy that getting your red wings.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/22/2012 12:41:09 AM

Thaz

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Seems to me if she wants to wait to loose her cherry then S&M is a perfect way to deal with everyones frustrations untill the moments right. Hell lots of play doesnt involve penetration.

TALK to her. If its really difficult or hard to do then hand her a few books to read ("Screw the roses, Give me the thorns" might be a good start) and see if she's into the entire thing.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/22/2012 3:52:24 AM

antipode

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If she is around the same age you are, and still a virgin, I think you might consider forgetting about this one. Sex starts at thirteen.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/22/2012 8:38:53 AM

GotSteel

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TanukiChan
I'm hoping that after we break the sex barrier, we can see if she's into s&m. It's something we've both talked about, but have not yet acted upon.

Comments? Suggestions? Personal stories?

Looking back I don't regret the things I did, all my regrets are things I didn't do. Perhaps I've had more than my share of luck, I've never had things go so bad that I wasn't able to walk away (though a few times that involved hobbling to the emergency room) and I always managed to outrun the cops.

Having given a disclaimer about my advice on risk taking. I say have fun, go wild.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/22/2012 10:55:17 PM

MalcolmNathaniel

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Define 'Virginal.'

An actual virgin or 'new to BDSM? here is a world of difference there.

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/23/2012 11:32:31 AM

RumpusParable

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quote:

ORIGINAL: TanukiChan

I'm hoping that after we break the sex barrier, we can see if she's into s&m. It's something we've both talked about, but have not yet acted upon.

Comments? Suggestions? Personal stories?

Why wait until after you have sex? I don't understand that line of thinking..

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/23/2012 12:02:47 PM

leashedlaura

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Righton Thaz! completely agree with you! S&M is the right arena when virginity is in question!!!!

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RE: Virginal Girlfriend - 6/23/2012 1:04:50 PM

LanaDeVille

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quote:

ORIGINAL: RumpusParable

quote:

ORIGINAL: TanukiChan

I'm hoping that after we break the sex barrier, we can see if she's into s&m. It's something we've both talked about, but have not yet acted upon.

Comments? Suggestions? Personal stories?

Why wait until after you have sex? I don't understand that line of thinking..

Because Virgins are delicate wittle butterflies and you have to introduce them to the dark world of sexuality slowly and gradually or else you'll tear their purty wittle wings /sarcasm

I'm a virgin (and intend to stay that way) and I'm here and I do real-time play. I think that when exploring S&M with anyone who hasn't had previous exposure, it's important to try to be slow and understanding. However, virgins aren't inherently fragile creatures, so taking your time with the process isn't virgin-exclusive. I have friends who've tried introducing S&M to partners they'd had plenty of sex with and their reactions were variable. Some were into it, some weren't, some were freaked out etc.

S&M and sex don't have to go together. So one really isn't entirely related to the other, unless you're planning on incorporating it into sex. So if you want to try S&M with her, go for it, and don't worry about whether she's a virgin or not.

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