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Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher - 6/20/2012 12:21:24 PM   
Aurilia


Posts: 1
Joined: 6/20/2012
Status: offline 		Hi everyone,

I brand new here and I'm looking for someone who can teach me about the D/s lifestyle and what I can do/learn to become a wonderful sub. I am aware that I sound fairly naive, please put that down to my inexperience rather than ignorance.

At the moment I have a boyfriend, he is sexually dominant and has had a slave and subs in the past. Since meeting him I have begun to explore my submissive self and give in to my submissive desires, desires that I had dismissed in the past. Although he sees himself as a Dom, he has said that he doesn't want a D/s relationship with me; the thing is, he already does - unofficially of course. I serve him in any way I can to make his life easier: making appointments for him, cooking, cleaning, dressing to please him, taking off his shoes and socks then massaging his feet, and so many other little things that come naturally to me.

Please let me know if you're interested in passing on your wisdom to this inexperienced little sub :)
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher - 6/20/2012 12:32:14 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Ask him how he likes it. He is the only one that matters.



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Don't blame me, I voted for Gary Johnson.

(in reply to Aurilia)
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RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher - 6/20/2012 12:37:44 PM   
dublinemma


Posts: 57
Joined: 9/10/2010
Status: offline 		I am by no means even close to the experience levels of some people here so I don't think I can really teach you anything. However, your post confused me a bit. You say that your boyfriend has stated that he doesn't want a d/s relationship so are you planning on being a sub for somebody else or do you just want to learn more in general... You mentioned he already has an unofficial relationship like this with you, either he wants to or he doesn't, are you hoping to trick him into one in some way? Basically if you want to pursue this with your boyfriend then I would suggest actually discussing it with him and seeing if he is on board before getting ahead of yourself...

< Message edited by dublinemma -- 6/20/2012 12:39:02 PM >

(in reply to Aurilia)
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RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher - 6/20/2012 3:29:12 PM   
JeffBC


Posts: 5799
Joined: 2/12/2012
From: Canada
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dublinemma
I am by no means even close to the experience levels of some people here so I don't think I can really teach you anything. However, your post confused me a bit. You say that your boyfriend has stated that he doesn't want a d/s relationship so are you planning on being a sub for somebody else or do you just want to learn more in general... You mentioned he already has an unofficial relationship like this with you, either he wants to or he doesn't, are you hoping to trick him into one in some way? Basically if you want to pursue this with your boyfriend then I would suggest actually discussing it with him and seeing if he is on board before getting ahead of yourself...

yeah well... for all your "lack of experience" your thoughts mirror mine.


_____________________________

I'm a lover of "what is", not because I'm a spiritual person, but because it hurts when I argue with reality. -- Bryon Katie
"You're humbly arrogant" -- sunshinemiss
officially a member of the K Crowd

(in reply to dublinemma)
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RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher - 6/20/2012 4:06:50 PM   
OsideGirl


Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline 		I agree with the people above.

But, I'm also going to add that mentor should be someone you know in real life. Words on a screen aren't going to show you a dynamic, it's only going to show you what they think their dynamic is.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

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RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher - 7/3/2012 7:06:47 PM   
banditexposed


Posts: 1
Joined: 5/27/2012
Status: offline 		being a sub simply means that you take care of your Dom. doesn't matter what you call it. sounds to me like you are doing for him. just talk. explain your feelings and ask him what his are. Communication is the core of a good relationship, vanilla or D/s.
if he takes care of you and you take care of him, then you fine. relax. enjoy what you do for him. and sweat terminology.

(in reply to OsideGirl)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher - 7/3/2012 7:14:29 PM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		Ask him why he thinks he can't be both your lover and your dominant. Because as long as he is in conflict about being both, there will be trouble. One day he'll want you to do stuff for him and other times he'll be angry when you do the same thing. You must solve this first.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


(in reply to banditexposed)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher - 7/3/2012 7:21:36 PM   
DiurnalVampire


Posts: 8125
Joined: 1/19/2006
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline 		Why doesnt he want a D/s relationship with you? Forcing him into one, or assuming he really does want one but wont say is usually a bad idea. Maybe he has reasons for not wanting you as a submissive. Maybe he doesnt see you that way. Before you go about molding yourself into something, find out why he has stated he doesnt want this with you. You might find a few important things out, and spare yourself ruining what is a good thing by making yourself something he might NOT want.

_____________________________

I will be your Dominate if you will be my submit - Fox

Snarko Ergo Sum
If you cannot change your mind, how are you so sure you still have one? -proverb

*Owner of Fox - collared 10/13/07*
VampiresLair

(in reply to DesFIP)
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RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher - 7/3/2012 8:57:50 PM   
JanahX


Posts: 3443
Joined: 8/21/2010
Status: offline 		I dont get it - it sounds like youre doing it regardless of what he says. Hes sexually dominant - What else do you need? Some kind of certificate saying "We are officially in a D/s relationship"?
I mean are you looking to go to bdsm public events together or something? - if thats the case I can understand where you want to have some kind of established thing going on.

What kind of wisdom are you looking for? I dont understand what you are needing here.

< Message edited by JanahX -- 7/3/2012 8:59:14 PM >

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The first rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.

The second rule of Fight Club is you do not talk about Fight Club.


(in reply to Aurilia)
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RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher - 7/3/2012 10:03:01 PM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		DV!!!! *tacklehugs*

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CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to JanahX)
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RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher - 7/4/2012 7:02:46 AM   
ProlificNeeds


Posts: 1061
Joined: 5/19/2007
Status: offline 		FR~

Be a wonderful person, and the rest takes care of itself.

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: Sub Seeking a Mentor/Teacher - 7/4/2012 1:27:59 PM   
RemoteUser


Posts: 2854
Joined: 5/10/2011
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: ProlificNeeds
FR~

Be a wonderful person, and the rest takes care of itself.


Some people don't know how. They have a picture in their head and they try to become it, or make others fit it.

Heck, some days I don't feel wonderful. But the little things bring me round. *looks at the calendar*

_____________________________

There is nothing worse than being right. Instead of being right, then, try to be open. It is more difficult, and more rewarding.


(in reply to ProlificNeeds)
Profile   Post #: 12
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